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Andy Borowitz's avatar

A serious post today! But it seemed appropriate. I covered this (and a lot more) here: https://bookshop.org/a/109008/9781668003893

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Wis's avatar
8hEdited

Trump is the tenant from hell. As a renter, I’d be thrown in jail for demolishing half of the house I live in. I inform and ask the landlord if I even fix the toilet.

This guy needs to be evicted immediately.

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Jeanne Golliher's avatar

I don't think of him as a tenant because tenants pay rent. I think of him as a temporary guest in OUR house. (He is that guest that half the family invited and the other half is plotting how to get him to leave and never come back!)

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Wis's avatar

Har! Yes: The guest who never left! We all have stories about people who take advantage. Now, we all REALLY have stories about people who take advantage! Old, smelly, farting, tacky uncle don who has proven to be the unwanted guest from hell who wouldn’t leave.

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Annette's avatar

if mob-boss-wannabe tRump wants to show us how he can demolish buildings, perhaps someone can show us how mob bosses use new construction to hide bodies . . . just sayin'

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Matthew Ward's avatar

Squatter, more like.

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Nancy Barrett's avatar

It does. Nothing funny about this.

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Autumn Mich's avatar

Thanks for the history, Andy. The final sentence gives me chills, because it's so true.

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Suzanne Fausser's avatar

À great book. I learned a lot from it. You should all have a copy.

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

Thank you! It was really interesting to research and write it.

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Annette's avatar

I have started the book but not finished it yet (its great so far, Andy, but then, I had no doubts) . . . however, now I'll have a different slant on anything I read, comparing it to current history.

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Maria Jette's avatar

I LOVED the book, and recommend the audio version, read by the AUTHOR. Usually that’s a bad sign, but the Borowitz delivery is just as fabulous as the Borowitz writing, and together, it’s an 11 on the 1-10 scale.

No— make it a 12!

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Jean M Mazza's avatar

Just purchased mine this morning.

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modj's avatar

My bookstore was out of it!

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

Order from TBR’s bookshop: https://bookshop.org/a/109008/9781668003893

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modj's avatar

Next time you're in Shaker let me know so you can sign it! (~:

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modj's avatar

I might try Maxbacks on Coventry...

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Linda Mitchell, KCMO's avatar

Clearly he does not expect to ever have to leave his now plastic faux gilded palace.

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Franca Garofalo's avatar

Perhaps he plans to hand it down as a family inheritance?

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J Cheng's avatar

What the ever loving "f..k"!!!!! Who pays for this? We do! I did not pay taxes all these years to have numbnuts do this to the White House. People are furloughed, not paid during shutdown, losing vital medical care, all while this egomaniac flexes his stupid muscle? I'm sick to my stomach. Thank goodness for TBR to keep me from breaking something........like maybe Trump Tower?

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Mary Madigan's avatar

Wow! I had no idea what talented vandals the Trumps are!

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Annette's avatar

talented, no . . . vandals, absolutely

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Susan Kice's avatar

Bought it-read it-loved it!

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Mary Roeser's avatar

I have read it, Andy! It is a great book.

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Kathy Roeske's avatar

Great book!

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Paula Jacobson's avatar

I purchased and read this book right when it first came out. Excellent!

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misia.d's avatar

Have the White House slot machines been ordered yet?

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Annette's avatar

don't forget a spot for all the porta-potties they'll need for the UFC fight next year

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Judith Richards's avatar

T**** was and continues to be an evil menace to all of society. I am amazed that he has managed to fool so many people. 🤢🥵😱

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Susan Stone's avatar

Profiles in Ignorance is a wonderful book. I'm really glad I read it. My husband is in the middle of reading it, but seems to have lately opted for the other book I told him to read. Today's post is one that should open some people's eyes as to who trump really is.

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P J Johnston's avatar

Read your book and have to check it out again you pretty much covered every President in a long line of them.

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J Cheng's avatar

Just bought the book and will read this weekend.

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James Bertran Haugh, Ph.D.'s avatar

I am struggling to find one human quality in Trump. Nada.

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Joan Conroy's avatar

I too have attempted to find a single redeeming quality about him, but to no avail. That 77 million Americans voted for him and his destructive hateful gang, while 90 million chose not to vote at all says a great deal about where we are as a nation.

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Megan Ross's avatar

I'm still angry that so many people chose to skip voting in November. There's NO excuse!

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Jeanne Golliher's avatar

And I remain angry as hell at the so-called Progressive Democrats who could not find a way to vote for Hillary in 2016 despite all the warnings. Some days I fantasize about what our nation would be like had she appointed three justices to SCOTUS.😭

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Megan Ross's avatar

I think about that all the time. In fact, I go all the way back to Gore and Bush. Gore was cheated out of the presidency and I often wonder what the world would look like had he taken his rightful place in the Oval Office. It's heartbreaking...

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Frances Pelzman's avatar

I am still processing the so-called Brooks Brothers riot that shut down the recount in November of 2000. After all other efforts to stop the recount failed, an earlier iteration of Young Republicans went wild at the recount site, and forced the recount to stop. Gore ceded the election to Dubya and Jeb handed the election to his brother. So rioting, destruction, temper tantrums, wrecking balls, and imaginary jet planes pouring feces seems to be the method of operation that the right finds most effective. Why do so many people admire and support brutality and cruelty? And why do so many people who ostensibly don't support brutality and cruelty balk at stopping it?

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Megan Ross's avatar

You explained what happened in 2000 perfectly! Roger Stone and his Brooks Brothers scumbags should have been arrested and prosecuted for a multitude of crimes. They threatened those poll workers' lives! We live in a violent country and we have to be vigilant at all times. I'm tired of living this way...

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jon Hodson's avatar

Supreme Court had something to do with Dubyas win.

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Son of Thunder's avatar

What explains the absurdities? Well, we are each born into fear and ignorance. That, hopefully, changes to courage and wisdom as we mature. Sadly, because of various external developmental reasons (like bad parenting…I’m looking at you, Fred Trump) a segment never self-actualize. They grow to be psychopaths and malignant narcissists. I don’t like it. But, that’s the way life is. Goodness means nothing without Evil. Yin Yang.

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Kathy Roeske's avatar

So many people who claim to be Christian but don’t act like it.

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Annette's avatar

at the very least, the sheep condone what ConOLD has done . . . because it doesn't affect them in their double wide trailers, apparently (sorry for the snark, just venting)

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bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

Don't forget Nader's ego trip presidential campaign.

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Marjorie's avatar

I remember Nader's run for president very well. An ego trip which had worldwide consequences.

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Erik Staub's avatar

I agree and Bernie’s lukewarm support and his followers didn’t really come out support Hillary

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Kathleen Sherrieb's avatar

Or, all of those citizens who never voted but felt the urge to do so because of trump's lies.

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E. Sherman's avatar

Sadly, yes. I wonder how the non-voters are feeling about things now.

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Ann Rock's avatar

Probably nothing because they aren’t paying attention.

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Annette's avatar

so the non-voters don't buy gas, or groceries, or health care . . . I hope they're paying attention now, and until next November.

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Howardsp's avatar

Non-voters don’t know anything that is going on.

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Kathy Roeske's avatar

So many people pay no attention to politics or current events. And then there are the total dummies.

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Karen Cavin's avatar

I'm sure not one of them would ever admit it publicly.

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Bill's avatar

rub their noses in the mess they created

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Leif Janzon's avatar

I've always estimated DJT for NEVER apologizing. Especially in the US people are exhorted to apologize for the most unimportant transgressions imaginable. They apologize without meaning it for a second, let alone doing something concrete. Apologies have completely lost their meaning in today's society. The Orange Marauder is totally honest in acknowledging this not-alternative fact.

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Michael L Flynn's avatar

So much of what the fascists regurgitate is just meaningless blather they've been taught to repeat, such as "Thoughts and Prayers", "Support Our Troops" and a word that none of them seem to understand but love to label themselves as: "Patriot".

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Annette's avatar

"concept of a plan" and "I'll release it in two weeks" are additional phrases

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Vicki VanEck Hill's avatar

I have young grand sons to whom I only gift books, primarily history. I have a background in teaching preK thru 12, plus 8 years before retiring as the start up in Family Literacy for Head Start, so knew where to find deals when finance person came and asked if I could spend $10,000 by noon. I could by 9:30. Bought from Scholastic warehouse by the pound for the entire program that rose to almost 1500 families. I am devastated they closed it. Vicki aka BookGran who started them with child version of the Magna Carta, past Xmas gave them Advent calendar of 📚s.

P. S. Their screen time is very limited by parents.

They will have more in school than at home. They’re normal-plus!

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Annette's avatar

VIcki ~ thank you for your gifts to your grandsons - when we went shopping, I would always say to my boys, "I will not always buy you toys, but I will always buy you books."

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Bill's avatar

The USA is Trumpian...he is not a fluke. Maybe elect him once, but not twice!!!

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Annette's avatar

too late

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LHS's avatar

I just linked to this article when replying to another Substack last night. It goes into detail about the Bonwit Teller destruction. It's a reason why so many New Yorkers absolutely despise Trump. https://www.forbes.com/sites/michaellisicky/2020/10/03/how-donald-trump-took-down-bonwit-teller-a-fifth-avenue-landmark/ Notice the undocumented immigrants who worked on the demolition! That's just an extra added attraction of Trump's sick destruction of a New York landmark.

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E. Sherman's avatar

A lifetime of lies.

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Seattle Mom's avatar

The Bonwit Teller building should have been designated landmark status long before the Trump debacle. It was not only beautiful but very forward thinking in design

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Lee Roscoe's avatar

I loved that building and shopping there.

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MaryFaith  Chmiel's avatar

I worked in that neighborhood (56th & 6th) when this destruction was wrought. It was heartbreaking.

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JAMES LEE FLEMING's avatar

He does have balls, unlike Speaker Mike —whom, as I have repeatedly pointed out—-may not be, like Pinnoccio—a “ real boy” (& thus no “ cajones”)

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Becky O A's avatar

loved the protest sign on Sat. with multicolored balls, offering them to Congress who also have none!

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Jeanne Golliher's avatar

I saw a dog wearing a sign that said "I'm neutered but I have bigger balls than Mike Johnson."

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Stuyvesant Bearns's avatar

CASTRATION WOULD BE A QUICK CURE FOR THE NEUROSIS THAT IS TRUMP.

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Michael L Flynn's avatar

You'll have to send away for the special tweezer and microscope that are required to locate tRump's tiny genitals.

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Michael, the way he's depicted in South Park

is hysterical.

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Sharon P's avatar

if you send away for a microscope from amazon they already have giant ones installed in the lens thanks to jeff .b. not epstein

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Megan Ross's avatar

LOL! LOVE this!🙂

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Annette's avatar

<snort laugh> thank you for the chuckle

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Terri's avatar

Balls are not always the best thing to have.

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Mark DiFeliciantonio's avatar

It does take guts to walk around painted orange while wearing some sort of squirrel-like thing on your head. Of course you would also have to be incredibly clueless and stupid.

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Annette's avatar

<guffaw> excellent representation of ConOLD

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Mitch Moncrief's avatar

He doesn’t have balls, he has megalomania otherwise he would not made a lifetime of excuses ( bone spurs) or desecrating someone else’s heroics ( “ I like people who weren’t captured “) and blaming his failures on others ( “I didn’t want to cause a riot if the truth about Covid got out”) due to poor judgement. He just pushes the envelope due to his brain chemistry as malignant narcissists are unable to filter, control, and reason because they live in alternate reality of their making. It’s unfortunate that although some have won against him in court, too many powerful enablers exist.

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Barry Blue's avatar

Don’t say boy near him. I’m sure he would find a way to molest him.

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Stuyvesant Bearns's avatar

YOU NEED TO REMEMBER THE DARK SIDE OF HUMAN NATURE.

HIS MANY"HUMAN" CHARACTERISTICS INCLUDE FEVERED VENGEANCE, HATRED, IGNORANCE AND SHEER STUPIDITY.

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Judith Richards's avatar

No, actually, I don't. This horrible creature is supposed to be the leader of our country. And I blame the people who didn't vote and the gullible people who believed his lies after the first go round, the insurrection, and his lies. Did I say lies? I won't even mention his felony convictions.

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Annette's avatar

<appreciative applause>

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Erik Bruun's avatar

Human qualities include both vices and virtues. Trump has a monopoly on the vice side of the equation. Of virtues, there are none.

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Kari Converse's avatar

A month or so ago, I would have said that unlike his predecessors, he at least convinced China to stop setting methamphetamine precursors by the cargo ship full. But now he's bombing Venezuelans and other South Americans who don't deal in fentanyl while turning a blind eye to China's exporting fentanyl to the US. So you're right, nada.

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joe giordano's avatar

Stop trying, the man is amoral.

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Mark Slitt's avatar

You will never find one.

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Judith Green's avatar

Social emotions don't develop in sociopaths (empathy, compassion, shame, guilt. remorse, and so on). Those emotions are the base of our human qualities. Sociopaths are also very narcissistic, but Trump's sense of entitlement and his grandiosity are legion. No boundaries at all; no restraining internal feedback. Dr. Haugh, you won't find a human quality.

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Sooz Hall's avatar

I find many human qualities: pride, envy, anger, lust, greed, gluttony, sloth.

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Joan Schiavi's avatar

Your first mistake was assuming he is human.

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Joan Conroy's avatar

I disagree.

The sad truth is that he, like all twisted individuals, is most definitely human.

As history tells us, there have been and will continue to be, human beings who are so filled with hate, revenge, anger, need for power and other all manner of wretched destructive qualities. It is the nature of the beast, and so far, little has changed.

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Annette's avatar

if only kids had gone to his birthday parties, or his mother had breast fed him . . . but he was raised on dysfunction and conniving . . . so we shouldn't be surprised how he turned out

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

James, your struggle is futile. If trump ends his life by his own hand, it will have been the only decent thing he had ever done. I've written this farther down the topic and elsewhere. There was a time when I might have given him a little space because of his neuro-psychiatric illnesses and disorders, but no more.

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Linda McCaughey's avatar

Oh, he has them aplenty; all of them bad. Not a single redeeming quality among them....

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Chris Gay's avatar

He likes money, junk food and trophy wives. Does that count?

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Monroe Morgret's avatar

"one human quality in Trump"

He has an ego, which is a very human thing. But his is not typical. His is a giant ego. And with that giant ego he provides his Toadies and his Deplorables with their own vicarious ego gratification.

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Kathy Roeske's avatar

I was looking for one redeeming quality and had the same result.

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Lisa Zankman's avatar

There doesn’t seem to be anyone who can stop this madman. We have all got to keep protesting and letting our voices be heard.

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DONALD G. Alexander's avatar

With what we've seen lately, trashing the White House, proudly displaying himself pooping on America, giving unhinged speeches, initiating revenge prosecutions, cancelling health and food funds for the poor, mass pardoning of violent criminals; if this were Bush II, or Obama, or Biden somebody would be invoking the 25th Amendment or Impeachment to remove him. How does Trump just continue on with no accountability and full support from Congressional Republicans and most of the Supreme Court. Some of our elected leaders have to find some courage, step up and protect us and democracy from this dementia.

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Lee Roscoe's avatar

Bought, paid for, intimidated, and avowedly part of this fascist conspiracy. This is what corruption and autocracy looks like. Impossible? a play

Is this what autocracy looks like?

https://www.youtube.com/@leestephanieroscoe

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Elaine Young's avatar

We need a designated survivor not connected to all this —— and then drop a bomb on Congress when everyone else is there. That’s what happened in the movie.

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DONALD G. Alexander's avatar

I reject this suggestion. We should not be talking of bombing or killing anyone. We just need people to do their jobs as they took the oath to support and defend the constitution when they were elected (Congress) or appointed (the Supreme Court) to do. Vote out or impeach those not supporting the constitution.

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Kate Decker's avatar

WHY is there no person or legal mechanism to stop this madman in his tracks?

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Megan Ross's avatar

There is a lot that could have been done to stop TRump, but the Republicans are too scared of him to do their jobs in Congress. They're pathetic.

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Lee Roscoe's avatar

Blame Turtle Mitch McConnell who could have helped impeach the vile son of a bitch and end him, but did not.

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Michael L Flynn's avatar

He was impeached twice and both times a turtle-faced, milquetoast fascist named Mitch McConnel refused to vote on them in the senate, allowing fat ass to run again.

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Kate Decker's avatar

SICKER GOVERNMENT THAN BELIEVABLE.

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JAMES LEE FLEMING's avatar

Call the DOJ! … oh, wait😌

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Kate Decker's avatar

Ring ring. Ring ring. Ring ring. (No one seems to answer...)

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Linda Casentini's avatar

Call the Supreme Court! … oh, wait 🥺

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Elaine Young's avatar

Blame it on the writers of the constitution. They presumed a president would be honorable

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Anne O’Hare's avatar

Andy, usually your comments make me laugh while I'm crying, but this one just makes me cry more. What an awful, awful person is "our" president.

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Barry Blue's avatar

Not my president. Just the president of my country.

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Franca Garofalo's avatar

And now we can literally say that because he has made it clear he is not our president and has even declared war on us.

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Mary Powell's avatar

So sick of being broken hearted every single day.

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Dave McFarlane's avatar

This should go to court. You don’t modify a national treasure without

Due process and review by numerous specialists. Shows he has no respect for the law.. AGAIN SUE HIM

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Becky O A's avatar

already did, too late for the preservation committee, Congress or court. Just like Andy showed, his pattern is "don't ask for permission, do it and don't bother to ask for forgiveness"

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Sharon P's avatar

how about we start a class action suit for tearing our white house apart.. that's ours!!!!! any attorneys out there in Borowitz land who can help?

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Dave McFarlane's avatar

Great idea .. a class action law suit

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Elaine Young's avatar

Yes!!!!

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Lisa Roth's avatar

That's what I was wondering - how is it that got past "zoning?" Oh...dumb question.

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Dave McFarlane's avatar

Follow the law??? Not this jerk

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Elaine Young's avatar

Unfortunately the redwood trees will already be down.

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Little Johnny's avatar

I live for the day we all can read the headline that is most wanted

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Megan Ross's avatar

I wake up every day hoping to hear of TRump's demise. Every. Damned. Day.

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Becky O A's avatar

but do you really want JD Vance, who says boys will be boys over Nazi conversations, and applauds Trump's creative satire of poop? Get rid of the whole bunch of them and start over, wait am I an anarchist as well as a terrorist now?

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Paul Ehrenzeller's avatar

Maybe if Trump croaks and the democrats win the midterms Vance and others will be impeached and convicted. Hey, I gotta dream!

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Megan Ross's avatar

Shady Vance doesn't have the cult following that TRump does though. I truly feel that cutting the head off the disgusting snake, TRump, would be a good start to stopping the madness.

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MaryFaith  Chmiel's avatar

Totally agree

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Julie Woodcock's avatar

He can’t command the Kult. Trumpism is a personality cult, and no one else can lead it. Not even his ignorant, stupid sons.

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Seattle Mom's avatar

Spot on that only the PT Barnum in the Oval Office can fool so many. Charisma works in many ways. Vance has none.

My question is, will the puppeteers be unmasked when the front man goes down?

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Elaine Young's avatar

One at a time - first Trump - then vance

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Kim Trickey's avatar

Ding Dong the witch is dead?

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Paul Ehrenzeller's avatar

People will be dancing in the streets and singing it loudly! Clots and stairs that it happens soon!

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Sharon P's avatar

HIS clot

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Olivia Ward's avatar

Yep. The finale of Autumn of the Patriarch says it all. The monstrous wreck that the deranged President has become finally crumbles. And the people storm the palace in wild celebration.

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Jo Baxter's avatar

Such a sad, sad tale of destruction. Only thing worse is Trump's destroying our democrary.

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Nancy Dafoe's avatar

How are Americans tolerating this convicted criminal, rapist, racist, traitorous pig in our highest office? How is this possible?

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Joan Conroy's avatar

Don't forget that 77 million voted for him last November which, in my opinion, says a great deal about who these folks are. I wonder if any of them regret it?

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Robert S Hunter's avatar

“Smart people don’t like me”.

“I love the poorly educated.”

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Stan Duffner's avatar

They will say no even if they regret it

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Tom Melody's avatar

I’ve read so many articles about Trump supporters who have been completely burned by the decisions their fearless leader has made, but in the end…they still support him. You can’t reason or argue with totally delusional people. We are so doomed.

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Donna Doherty's avatar

Well, we're not...but not much to do but vote him out and make him pay whn he breaks the law. But he has a Supreme Court in his pocket blatantly eschewing the Constitution on everything that's challenged.

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Frances Pelzman's avatar

And don't forget the many ways in which the totally nonpartisan and even handed Judge Aileen Cannon stepped up to make sure his case was stuck in legal traffic until it was too late.

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Gerry Boyce's avatar

You are so right. I didn’t have any understanding of the 2024 election until I read Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s essay on stupidity written in the forties but still applicable today.

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Mina MacFarlane's avatar

For the life of me, I could not recall Bonwit teller‘s name, but I recall the wrecking ball. The White House is no different to this guy. Absolute trash and why people voted for him is utterly beyond me. I guess no taste is larger than I thought.

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Trish's avatar

I always come to the same conclusion re trump's voters: they hate the same people.

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Jim Dygert's avatar

Spot on…and not a peep from the hapless Senate or Congress…

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L B Rose's avatar

One day, they will pay. Of course His Royal Self will never go to jail, but all his flunkies will and he will have to go to a treatment center for the mentally challenged.

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lesley wildfong's avatar

No matter how many monuments he builds to himself, he will be most remembered for what he has destroyed, starting with the United States of America.

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LHS's avatar

He cares not one jot about history. All he cares about are his riches and power while he is alive.

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lesley wildfong's avatar

He seems to think it will make him immortal, but he will die and then what happens to his cult?

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Al Keim's avatar

Every last one of this tyrant's monuments will be torn down by the restored American republic.

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lesley wildfong's avatar

Just probably not in my lifetime at this point 😢

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Al Keim's avatar

Yet another good reason to keep on keeping on.

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Barbara Kalish's avatar

HE IS EVIL INCARNATE. He is demolishing the White House the way he has demolished the constitution. But where were the people to stand up and say NO?

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Richard's avatar

Geez, like father like son! The two of them are POS’s.

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Ron ahrens's avatar

Seeing the desecration of the White House and the rose has left me emotionally bereft

Your story reminded Megan’s that like his father he didnt wait for comment before swinging the ball

Add tasteless to his many vices

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Phil De Luca's avatar

WOW. Trump's insurrection cost $2.7 billion? That's it. Trump wants $250 million from US for all the lawsuits in which he was charged with crimes. Fine and the only way to pay is to OFFSET that against the $2.7 billion bill to Trump. I'd go along with that. Net: Trump owes $2.5 BILLION to US and he is not allowed to have outsiders FUND it with another GRIFT. Publish that in the papers. He is suing for damages then US should also sue for damages he caused. And we have the proof from the lawsuit.

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LHS's avatar

His lackeys will approve the payment. And I'm betting our weak Congress will just let him do it.

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Seattle Mom's avatar

He equates money with righteousness. He’ll gladly take the cash, but is really seeking vindication. He figures reimbursement is a tacit admission that he was wronged. Which he wasn’t. He was convicted. And mostly by states, not the federal government.

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