264 Comments
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Patty Bohart's avatar

Why is it always a woman who must make sense of the childish man chaos?

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

For this and other reasons I am grateful for women!

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Patti's avatar

I am grateful for your mother (as previously discussed). Crank Ina Dater We need new men. You’re one of ‘em. So is Long-Suffeing Spouse. I love both of you.

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Patti's avatar

Deter. (Self edited.) To all fellow Borowitzers/travelers: I am Patricia Rucidlo on FB. Please Friend me. I will be cranking Nina Hagen because she is highly appropriate. And I’m cranking this witch LOUD

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Michael Moore's avatar

This particular fellow is often embarrassed by the male idiots… women have the heartbeat of creation within and for that I am thankful 💖💖

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Elaine Fleming's avatar

Well put, Michael. Thank you for setting things straight!

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Angie Longenecker's avatar

Took my words…..

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Patty Bohart's avatar

bravo! :)

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Kandy Brown's avatar

I believe that the late Pope Francis said something about that.

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John Townsend's avatar

So long as MTG, Stefanik, Boebert, or Mace are involved!

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John Townsend's avatar

So long as MTG, Stefanik, Boebert, or Mace are not involved?

(oops!)

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David Gardiner's avatar

I think those three are amped on ketamine and testosterone, John.

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Bill Williamson's avatar

No woman has to do so. Unfortunately, women carry the weight because many miserable mean men leave it to women to do the work that they [the meaningless men] don't want to actually engage in. It's sad and pathetic.

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Lois W. Halbert's avatar

Love this

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Hank Napkin's avatar

Because mans are heavier chaotic children!

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Karen Sommer's avatar

Jane speaks for Mother Earth. 🌎

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LHS's avatar

Don't mess with Jane!

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John Townsend's avatar

--while Trump is the Mother of All Greedy Idiots!

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Bill Williamson's avatar

He's a mother... alright.

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Elaine Fleming's avatar

Hey, we may have a new Acronym here....Trump is the "Mother of All Greedy ASSHOLES," (wish i could think of a better "A" word, but I'm running out the door.

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Taisa  Markus's avatar

Thank you for the uplifting and kind message Jane and for being the messenger Andy. But I am not so high minded - there is along list of people Elon can send to populate Mars (himself, Trump, Trump Barbies, Hegseth, Vance , Miller, Putin, Urban, Nawrocki, etc., etc.) so Elon need not worry.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

May I include Gnome, Leavitt and Ernst? And a bunch more, including the one whose bag was stolen at a restaurant. And all blood relatives of trump as well as those related by marriage? Except for niece Mary, that is. And...and...

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Nancy Morgan LeBar's avatar

I really, really want Kristi Noem to be on that flight to Mars. More than that, I want her GONE.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

GONE as in "Egon." That's why she made it to the top of my list. The more she puts her mug in the headlines, the greater the need for her to disappear.

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Mark Lip's avatar

You’ve reminded me of the ending of “A Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy”. I saw the BBC version from the first episode quite by accident decades ago.

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Marmo's avatar

Mark - Read all the books - in order - they'll blow your mind while you're laughing out loud. Better than the series or movie. They are spot on. His take on where humans really come from explains it all.

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Sherri Goodman Reveal's avatar

Sending all of the hairdressers?

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becky estill's avatar

I am happy to learn of those connected dots! (he's afraid if the human population on planet Earth drops, then there won't be enough people for him to populate his new planet.) I think the planet has plenty of people to donate, but of course all these new space people have to be white.

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David Gardiner's avatar

They'll only be white until their rocket gets smacked by an X class solar flare, Becky.

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Octavia Redwood's avatar

"his" planet? we're told to think big, but I've never been so self-satisfied that I could judge who should or shouldn't live on the planet I share, or preferring to try to actually re-populate the planet myself, as Elon seems to think reasonable. I think he is so detached from the real world he thinks we're all objects in his vision field.

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Bill Williamson's avatar

That's called solipsism which is a Greek philosophy that basically says, “Nothing exists but me.” While it was more or less meant as a thought experiment on the meaning of what's real and the nature of knowledge it fits his personality. The philosophy wasn't meant to sound so narcissistic and, maybe, a tad psychopathic yet we've come to a point where narcissistic psychopaths would have us believe it wholeheartedly.

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Octavia Redwood's avatar

Thank you.

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Bill Williamson's avatar

You're welcome.

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Suzanne Skubick's avatar

It's not nice to fool Mother Nature. But it's even worse to abuse her.

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Annette's avatar

well said, Suzanne! We should honor our Mother.

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Bill Williamson's avatar

You made me think of the old margarine commercials.

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Peaceful Mary T.'s avatar

Thank god (yeah, that one I don't believe in, but I'm not sure who else to thank at the moment) for Jane Goodall! She's truly a blessing to this world in so many ways! <3

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Angie Longenecker's avatar

Also Greta Thunberg

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Lucy K.'s avatar

Bless the quiet, hard working people like Ms. Goodall, always trying to preserve all that's worthwhile in this world.

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Gordon Shumway's avatar

Sadly though, there aren't enough of them to save this world ........

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Lucy K.'s avatar

😢

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Ninah's avatar

So look at the photos of Mars. Barren land and no oxygen to breathe!!! Why would anyone want to colonize a rock? And how can Muck get there without fusion? Yet he’s part of the shutting down of universities investigating that source. Coal won’t get him there.

If earth can live off of solar and wind, and some fusion, then he can get to Mars (good riddance). Otherwise he’s all theatre. 🎭

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Karen's avatar

Well Matt Damon made it livable! 😁

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It's Come To This's avatar

He can eat his own shit once he's there. With any luck, it might eventually yield a desiccated potato. Poor source of ketamine, however.

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LizzieIRL's avatar

Depending on the mechanism of metabolism, his own might be fine source, for the first few rounds.

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J Cheng's avatar

🤣🤣

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Frau Katze's avatar

Also no water on Mars.

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Marcia Z Bookstein's avatar

And no green! Some scientists decided that the reason the color green makes us feel relaxed and safe is that, in nature, it means food! So, if you live on a red planet, where do you get your happiness? I've experieced this by walking hundreds of neighborhoods to get out the vote. The ones with big ole trees make you feel much better about life! I've never walked a precinct, though, where the only color you see is red. Oh. That's right. That's the color Musk/Trump fans see most of the time!

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Frau Katze's avatar

Good point.

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Ramona Jeffery's avatar

If earth gets too chaotic and over crowded, with starving mobs...they may be willing to risk the flight. Probably why the muskrats want planet earth destroyed.

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Jay F's avatar

Elon who?

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SCS - Michigan's avatar

Perfection.

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Sarah Krall's avatar

I believe his last name is Muck.

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Mandy S. Twiny's avatar

I call him lonE skuM. Anagrams make it easier to deal with drug addict, insecure, wannabe humans.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Go for it, Sarah. I've been calling him Muck for some time. It fits, doncha think?

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Penny Pawl's avatar

That's what I call him since he has mucked up our government

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John Townsend's avatar

The Mucks and the Clucks!

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B Steele's avatar

It's Felon, or is it F Elon Or maybe it's both!

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CBA's avatar

Leon somebody... whose mommy can't spell.

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Dana Campbell's avatar

Elon picked the wrong person to criticize. She is way out of his class!

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The Rickster's avatar

Her chimp friends are smarter.

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Nancy Morgan LeBar's avatar

Yes, chimpanzees and all of our relatives in the Primate family are much, much smarter.

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David Gardiner's avatar

I've met smarter invertebrates, Dana -- not counting legislators, of course.

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Dana Campbell's avatar

Closer to his cold blooded temperament.

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Dan Starr's avatar

I am pretty convinced the real reason Elongated Muskrat is obsessed with building a Mars colony is that he wants to be the god-emperor of his own planet. I suspect he also dreams of being the father of all its inhabitants.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Dan, whether you're joking or in earnest, I do think you've named his dream for a lifetime. An insular world would make him happy, as his neuro-psychiatric disorder precludes a wish to live in society.

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John Townsend's avatar

The Musk Mutants of Mars!

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Kathleen D. Pierce's avatar

Well then MuskRAT, go be an old school Mormon in your little town in Texas, You flaming Lunatic!🤬

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Patricia Fernandez-Kelly's avatar

Just uttering the name Jane Goodall makes me happy. Thank you, Andy.

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Michael Little's avatar

Yes! Well said, Patricia! I'm sitting here at my office desk in Hawaii and plan to say the name Jane Goodall every hour on the hour, or more often. Setting the clock now.

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Ray Sturm's avatar

We are called to be stewards of the planet, not destroyers. It is incredible that anyone with intelligence and expertise is vilified. I cannot understand the mindset of such self-centered, arrogant people. God help us!!

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Kathy Minicozzi's avatar

Jane speaks for all of us.

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Babydoc's avatar

When history is written (which is happening now to prevent Trump from destroying its accuracy), Jane Goodall will have a place of honor and Elon will be in the “Dustbin of History” to quite the Greatest Generation (that’s where they put Hitler and Tojo), and the other dustbin denizens will try to get different accommodations.

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Mary Gratch's avatar

Thank you, Jane Goodall! Keep working with those young people; they appreciate your wisdom and that of some of us living in this world. They are bright, capable, and filled with love for our planet and all living beings. I feel so optimistic despite the losers currently wreaking havoc on our government, country, and world. We will survive and thrive. I believe that.

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Michael Little's avatar

Awesome comment, Mary! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

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Cathryn's avatar

I listened to your interview and it was great. Thanks for interviewing this fascinating woman. She’s a hero!

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