Hartvig Dorkelson should warn the special envoy that he’s likely to suffer from a severe case of food poisoning but it’s a worthy sacrifice for Greenland ! 😉Thanks for the Monday morning laughs Andy ! 😂Would the special envoy consider JD Vance for dessert ? 😂
I believe that meeting happened a very long time ago, but it was with Stephen Miller instead. Perhaps a more recent meeting was with Kushner, though; of course, that meeting would have been at Miller's urging.
I hear polar bears have a great likeness for ketchup on well done and a particular fondness for Blond Bimbos, of which this administration has an overabundance
Polar bears are fish eaters, but they also like fruit like berries, when they can get it. I believe that a smart polar bear would run from any of these people. Maybe that "certain count" from Transylvania could take care of the problem.
Hey, Susan! How are ya? Been a while (my usual duck & cover during holidaze), and it's good to be back.
Re polar bears diet: they eat mammals primarily (seals mostly, scavenged whale carcasses, rarely humans, but yep us too), but in the desperation and starvation they're currently experiencing because of climate change and receding ice (which they rely on to stalk seals), they may accept fish and birds, too (I don't know), if either of these threw themselves in their way or were found dead to be scavenged. But they are not fishing bears, which include Kodiak bears, grizzlies, black & brown bears, and others I presume.
The take-away: A polar bear, if starving, would be glad of a Steven Miller snack, but well might regret that decision later, even if done as a sacrifice for the good of Greenland. Tums will be required. Maybe an emetic.
Maybe Chevron, per Rubio’s little note that trump read to everyone…
Big Oil should be winding down its entire existence on this planet, not ramping up its destruction, polluting, planet-raping and climate-killing money-grubbing.
I hate trump. With a fire I never have had when it comes to hate. I don’t like having hate and anger - but right now, it keeps me fighting, taking anction and marching, even in the dead of winter.
Maybe a better way to put it is my intense love for all things NOT trump/fascist/planet-destroying keeps me motivated.
They didn't. Some military bent the knee, to their shame. Glad to hear they're stepping up now -- and now know that we support them in refusing to follow illegal orders.
I heard there is discussion of stationing NATO-designated troops from Germany and the UK in Greenland for defense against an invasion from Russia or China, or any other country.
Oh the breezy self-confidence that comes with being the top of the food chain!
Of all the many laughs you have generously offered, this is the one where I have laughed so hard I can barely breathe and am still laughing all through your post and this comment....THANK YOU!!
The Greenland Envoy can often be seen venting his spleen to other Greenlanders. His speeches are clear and fresh, partly because instead of a soapbox, he uses a Foxes Glacier Mint to stand on.
start with an appetizer of KaroLIE, move to Jay Deviance, Russell Vought and Howard Lutnick then finish with Krusti Gnome (to use her bones as a toothpick)
Thanks for brightening our Monday! However if the envoy is unavailable, perhaps a really large popsicle stick inserted in the appropriate place might be a great alternative.
Degenerate Don HAS frequently openly expressed an extremely strong desire for white Scandinavians to come to America. But it’s hard to imagine that even a post-hibernation craving for a snack would entice any to do more than take one sniff.
How funny! When you allude to ‘beating your meat’ - and you did, you know! - Stephen Miller pops up as the exemplar, or the Usual Suspect. Why would that be?
Truly love this quote. Can't believe I get a really good laugh AND a new favorite quote all in one go. And then there's that brilliant handle of yours. Thank you!
Minnesota, attempting to incite someone to commit murder is a serious felony offense, generally prosecuted under laws relating to aiding and abetting, solicitation, or conspiracy. A person who successfully incites another to commit a crime is considered criminally liable for that crime as if they committed it themselves.
Legal Liability
Under Minnesota Statutes § 609.05, a person is criminally liable for a crime committed by another if they "intentionally aids, advises, hires, counsels, or conspires with or otherwise procures the other to commit the crime". This means the person who incites the murder can face the same severe penalties as the person who carries out the act.
Potential Charges
Aiding and Abetting: Providing intentional help, advice, or counsel to someone else in committing a crime makes the advisor just as liable as the principal offender.
Solicitation: Minnesota law classifies solicitation as an "inchoate crime," meaning the act of inviting, requesting, or encouraging another person to commit a crime is an offense in itself, even if the solicited person never goes through with the act.
Conspiracy: If two or more people agree to commit a crime and one of them takes a substantial step toward its commission, they can all be charged with conspiracy.
Penalties
Murder in Minnesota carries severe penalties:
First-Degree Murder can result in imprisonment for life.
Second-Degree Murder can result in imprisonment for not more than 40 years.
A person convicted of inciting the crime would face penalties commensurate with the completed offense or attempted offense, depending on whether the murder was carried out.
If you are facing legal charges or need legal advice, it is crucial to consult with a qualified criminal defense attorney in Minnesota immediately.
So glad that Stephen Miller looks like the SS. He will stick out like a sore thumb during the international trials as a war criminal. “Can you please point at the suspect you refer to?”
Trump Steven Miller and Noem plan to HIRE people at fun shows to be ICE agents. Let’s try to find them all guilty of inciting criminal behavior and arrest them.
“. . . the meeting . . . “most likely would involve lunch.” had me spit my coffee out. When will I ever learn to put my coffee down BEFORE I read TBR??? This meeting definitely would be a wonderful piece of news to wake up to!
Happy Monday to you all! I think this envoy will settle the Greenland situation in an appropriate fashion.
Hartvig Dorkelson should warn the special envoy that he’s likely to suffer from a severe case of food poisoning but it’s a worthy sacrifice for Greenland ! 😉Thanks for the Monday morning laughs Andy ! 😂Would the special envoy consider JD Vance for dessert ? 😂
Early reports suggest that the Envoy from Transylvania is seeking a meeting with Jared Kushner…
i’m pretty sure that meeting took place a while ago....
I believe that meeting happened a very long time ago, but it was with Stephen Miller instead. Perhaps a more recent meeting was with Kushner, though; of course, that meeting would have been at Miller's urging.
Miller has been looking rather pale lately.
He is a spooky dude.. creepy...
Not sure we know whether Kushner has ever been seen in a mirror
Has he consumed Ivanka, do you think? (Haven't heard much about her lately.) Maybe she's been relegated to the kitchen as is only proper.
Oooooo SNAP!
Slender Man is a sly one!
oh yes, and Krusti Gnome; another preternatural sacrifice.
I hear polar bears have a great likeness for ketchup on well done and a particular fondness for Blond Bimbos, of which this administration has an overabundance
I think it’s a certain Transylvanian Count 😉
Right after Kushner's sit-down with The Prince of Darkness.
or Millers meeting with Goebbels.
I thought Miller was a reincarnation.
or if he isn't available, Steve Miller would be a good target
Ha Ha Ha 🤣
I have started a GoFundMe for the envoy - at this point, we're at a level where we can ensure Tums for the remainder of his/her life.
Brilliant - and universal veterinary care for all!
wonderful idea, Wis!
Chef's kiss!
This is assuming JD Vance is sweet
A polar bear’s idea of dessert may be quite different from ours!😉
Polar bears are fish eaters, but they also like fruit like berries, when they can get it. I believe that a smart polar bear would run from any of these people. Maybe that "certain count" from Transylvania could take care of the problem.
Ah but we’re in the land of make -believe and if only!😉
No, everything Andy and the rest of us write is true….
Hey, Susan! How are ya? Been a while (my usual duck & cover during holidaze), and it's good to be back.
Re polar bears diet: they eat mammals primarily (seals mostly, scavenged whale carcasses, rarely humans, but yep us too), but in the desperation and starvation they're currently experiencing because of climate change and receding ice (which they rely on to stalk seals), they may accept fish and birds, too (I don't know), if either of these threw themselves in their way or were found dead to be scavenged. But they are not fishing bears, which include Kodiak bears, grizzlies, black & brown bears, and others I presume.
The take-away: A polar bear, if starving, would be glad of a Steven Miller snack, but well might regret that decision later, even if done as a sacrifice for the good of Greenland. Tums will be required. Maybe an emetic.
Well, he wouldn't have to eat him...
Perhaps some Immodium would be warranted for the special envoy.
I wouldn’t have thought I had a laugh left in me, but the envoy elicited one. Thanks!
I think so, too! 🐻❄️
Seeing reports that generals are refusing to put together plans to invade Greenland. If true, that is a bit of good news.
I hope that’s true. How did they justify Venezuela?
Trump? Justify? He has many different versions of why he acted alone without congress (though he gave Big Oil a head’s up).
Pick one. None of them are constitutional though, so…
Yes-he gave Big Oil a heads up but doesn’t look like any of them are ‘biting’ at present.
Maybe Chevron, per Rubio’s little note that trump read to everyone…
Big Oil should be winding down its entire existence on this planet, not ramping up its destruction, polluting, planet-raping and climate-killing money-grubbing.
I hate trump. With a fire I never have had when it comes to hate. I don’t like having hate and anger - but right now, it keeps me fighting, taking anction and marching, even in the dead of winter.
Maybe a better way to put it is my intense love for all things NOT trump/fascist/planet-destroying keeps me motivated.
BRAVO! Very well said and spot on! Thank you, Wis!
They didn't. Some military bent the knee, to their shame. Glad to hear they're stepping up now -- and now know that we support them in refusing to follow illegal orders.
Damned straight! 👏
I can't find a source for this that isn't Facebook...anybody?
I will keep my ear low to the ground and report back...
I heard there is discussion of stationing NATO-designated troops from Germany and the UK in Greenland for defense against an invasion from Russia or China, or any other country.
I hadn’t heard that - YAY!!!!
Probably won’t be delicious, but will be satisfying.
It will very likely be indigestible but definitely for a worthy cause.
a little Pepto, some laxative, and the envoy will be as good as new
I need brain bleach to remove the image...
<hehehe> BTAM, I think when this whole surreal nightmare is over, we should all be given neuralyzers to remove the past 10+ years from our memories.
Can’t wait until I develop dementia!
Especially to those watching!
Oh the breezy self-confidence that comes with being the top of the food chain!
Of all the many laughs you have generously offered, this is the one where I have laughed so hard I can barely breathe and am still laughing all through your post and this comment....THANK YOU!!
“ Oh the breezy self-confidence that comes with being the top of the food chain!” ❤️🤣😂🐾
Yes! I had to take an asthma treatment😄😄
The Greenland Envoy can often be seen venting his spleen to other Greenlanders. His speeches are clear and fresh, partly because instead of a soapbox, he uses a Foxes Glacier Mint to stand on.
I think the special envoy would really enjoy a buffet so let's send the entire cabinet.
start with an appetizer of KaroLIE, move to Jay Deviance, Russell Vought and Howard Lutnick then finish with Krusti Gnome (to use her bones as a toothpick)
Me likey this menu -- for the bear, not me!
Oh YES YES YES -- let's do THAT!
What an absolutely delicious way to start my morning! I've been giggling for an hour.
I imagine when the T Rex in Jurassic Park ate the sleazy lawyer while he was hiding on a toilet seat.
oh, what a delightful image . . . outhouses in Greenland, Miller in his little PeeWee Herman suit...
Thanks for brightening our Monday! However if the envoy is unavailable, perhaps a really large popsicle stick inserted in the appropriate place might be a great alternative.
through where one's heart would be?
Perfect—one white nationalist to another!
pretty good!
Brilliant even!
Thanks - these days, a laugh is worth millions if only to keep us from crying. Team Polar Bear for the win!
Good grief! Now the orange metamucilini is a threat to polar bears. Nothing is safe!
I would like a ringside seat, please!
You're being mean to bears, Andy. Tummy aches ahead for that big fellow!
I love it!! It’ll be the only good (and last) thing trump has ever done for the environment and foreign relations.
The best part, of course, is it’ll be the last thing trump will ever do, period.
I would like a ringside seat, please!
I feel bad for the polar bear. How could he possibly stomach something that rancid?
Degenerate Don HAS frequently openly expressed an extremely strong desire for white Scandinavians to come to America. But it’s hard to imagine that even a post-hibernation craving for a snack would entice any to do more than take one sniff.
🤣😂🤣 Oh well done!!!
Love it!
Hope he( the bear) is up to date on rabies vax….
It’s more like mange.
It probably beats blubber!
How funny! When you allude to ‘beating your meat’ - and you did, you know! - Stephen Miller pops up as the exemplar, or the Usual Suspect. Why would that be?
Hmmm... need a think on that one...
Hint: think WANKER lol
I think a cargo container of Kaopectate should be strategically placed near the picnic area.
So rancid - and so greasy! The cholesterol in one of trump’s cankles could kill a bear. We should have emergency vets on standby.
Not much nourishment but a great “play toy.”
Some men improve the world only by leaving it.
Oscar Wilde
One of my favorite quotes
This will go on my email signature.
that would apply to the entire bloated yam's administration
Truly love this quote. Can't believe I get a really good laugh AND a new favorite quote all in one go. And then there's that brilliant handle of yours. Thank you!
It's a "Live and Let Die" thing.
Love that quote - Oscar was a very wise man!
Minnesota, attempting to incite someone to commit murder is a serious felony offense, generally prosecuted under laws relating to aiding and abetting, solicitation, or conspiracy. A person who successfully incites another to commit a crime is considered criminally liable for that crime as if they committed it themselves.
Legal Liability
Under Minnesota Statutes § 609.05, a person is criminally liable for a crime committed by another if they "intentionally aids, advises, hires, counsels, or conspires with or otherwise procures the other to commit the crime". This means the person who incites the murder can face the same severe penalties as the person who carries out the act.
Potential Charges
Aiding and Abetting: Providing intentional help, advice, or counsel to someone else in committing a crime makes the advisor just as liable as the principal offender.
Solicitation: Minnesota law classifies solicitation as an "inchoate crime," meaning the act of inviting, requesting, or encouraging another person to commit a crime is an offense in itself, even if the solicited person never goes through with the act.
Conspiracy: If two or more people agree to commit a crime and one of them takes a substantial step toward its commission, they can all be charged with conspiracy.
Penalties
Murder in Minnesota carries severe penalties:
First-Degree Murder can result in imprisonment for life.
Second-Degree Murder can result in imprisonment for not more than 40 years.
A person convicted of inciting the crime would face penalties commensurate with the completed offense or attempted offense, depending on whether the murder was carried out.
If you are facing legal charges or need legal advice, it is crucial to consult with a qualified criminal defense attorney in Minnesota immediately.
State should charge Noem and Steven Miller
And their boss, too, imho.
“I never thought the bear would eat MY face!” sobs man who voted for Bears Eating People’s Faces Party
(Apologies to the geniuses at The Onion, but it just fits so well …)
Some fava beans anyone? And maybe a cheap Chiaaaaanti? 🐾
Very funny!
<well played!>
So glad that Stephen Miller looks like the SS. He will stick out like a sore thumb during the international trials as a war criminal. “Can you please point at the suspect you refer to?”
Do you think he and his wife carry cyanide pills?
Wow! I didn’t know that polar bears ate reptiles. Good to know.
Top comment!
Susan, I laughed even harder at that remark than I did at the original story!😂
What a wonderful friendly gesture by Greenland. By the way, in your report, when you referenced "meet" did you mean "meat" ??
🤣😂🤣
👏👏🤣🤣
Excerpt
it will whet our envoy’s appetite for other members of the Trump administration,” Dorkelson said. “We would enthusiastically welcome JD Vance.”
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
🤣🤣🤣
Bon appetit!
Trump Steven Miller and Noem plan to HIRE people at fun shows to be ICE agents. Let’s try to find them all guilty of inciting criminal behavior and arrest them.
I think you mean gun shows. I don’t think ICE candidates go to fun shows.
For MAGA, gun shows are fun shows? 🫣
perhaps fun shows are tRump rallies? I find them mildly amusing, when I'm not honked off
Them's the bear necessities.
Brilliant! 🤣😂🤣
Oh I’m so glad to hear that it will most likely involve lunch. Such a brilliant idea.
“. . . the meeting . . . “most likely would involve lunch.” had me spit my coffee out. When will I ever learn to put my coffee down BEFORE I read TBR??? This meeting definitely would be a wonderful piece of news to wake up to!
ain't Andy the best?
Unquestionably!
Yep!
Good one, Andy! Thanks for making me laugh first thing on Monday morning