180 Comments
User's avatar
Andy Borowitz's avatar

David Ellison agrees.

Lisa's avatar

Donny Jr, the coke head agrees too.

Joseph M Becker's avatar

RFK, Jr. admits to having snorted cocaine off of a toilet seat.

DJT objected to having a son with his name, i.e., Donald Trump, Jr., lest the kid be a loser.

Beth Davis's avatar

RFK, Sr. has to have spun himself right out of his grave.

Peter Scott's avatar

“Lest the kid be a loser.”

Turns out daddy was correct!

Jim McCarthy's avatar

A reasonable worry.

RonGB's avatar

My understanding is that as between Donald Jr. and Eric, Eric is the smarter one.

Lisa's avatar

Trump's namesake is big LOSER just like him. You think he'd proud..🤣

Mary Bird Lowry's avatar

Too bad Barron exceeds the height limit by an inch, maybe. He is tall but it seems all the Trumps exaggerate their height. First born child of every warmonger should be shipped directly to boot camp. I bet Melania would have given a more animated presence at the UN Security Council if her son were on the line.

Frau Katze's avatar

His mother was tall for a woman.

Wendy Tucker's avatar

Melanomia is tall. The Pope is Catholic and bears do shit in the woods. But I maintain that there's no way Barron would go because MommyMelanomia would be apeshit nuts. Prenup or not, this bitch has info to share & if her dear little boy was in any danger, she would reveal everything to prevent it.

Frau Katze's avatar

I wasn’t suggesting he would (of course he wouldn’t).

Lisa's avatar

Barron is NOT too tall for the military. David Robinson, famously called ‘The Admiral” during his NBA career for serving in the US Navy before joining the NBA, was 7’1” tall. And, NBA player Bernard James [6'10”] served 6 years in the US Air Force. There are other NBA and NFL players who are taller than Barron who have honorably served their country. No excuses for Barron to enlist in his Daddy's war … if war is acceptable for our sons & daughters, then war must be acceptable for young Barron too. Set an example, Barron - enlist NOW, 🪖🇺🇸

Pradnya Sikand's avatar

Andy , Your headlines say it all and are sheer genius 😂I wasn’t aware that Eric or other members of the Lucky Sperm club were capable of speaking in full sentences! 😉

Wendy Tucker's avatar

They can't. They just shout. And I think Eric's wife now sings????

Jillymc's avatar

In all fairness, he probably has first-hand knowledge of such things.

Phyllis Mass's avatar

Takes one to know one.

Pearl's avatar

You beat me to it! :)

Linda's avatar

I just left that same comment. “Like minds think alike?”🤗😉😊🤭

Wis's avatar

Ahh, I love the smell of blind hypocrisy and irony in the morning…

Jerr's avatar

How about I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

Wis's avatar

(That's the quote I was parodying. What was that from? Apocalypse Now? A classic.)

John Kenney's avatar

As always, headline is luscious, content icing on the cake.

It's Come To This's avatar

Pot, Kettle, Black, Dumbass.

Al Gorythm's avatar

I don’t want to hear any comments from the penis gallery about the lucky sperm club.

Seth Guggenheim's avatar

Me neither! Too many jerks!

SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Uhhh....could you possibly be one of "The" Guggenheims?

Judy Sherwood's avatar

eeeuuu stinky winky...

Deb's avatar

Ohhh my…. LMAO!!

Irna Gadd's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Jonathan Weker's avatar

"Yeah," added Eric. "This is the one time when I actually know what I'm talking about."

Mary Jo Henretty-Jornales's avatar

The pot calling the kettle…

Barbara Body's avatar

I think you should consider the rumor of someone with the username DTJR making kergillions in the prediction markets over the beginning of the Iran War!

Marie's avatar

Pot. Meet kettle.

Altamama2's avatar

So completely unaware that he doesn't even hear himself - you can't make this shit up can you now......not to that degree!!

Christine's avatar

and the maga and christian nationalists are shaking their fists and bible saying YOU GOT THAT RIGHT ERIC BABY

Glenn Ebo Perry's avatar

When a son of the Prez is Neanderthal,

And at 60, his IQ hits the wall,

Then we must be ready to face the facts

And enumerate just what Eric lacks.

When you see his face, you know he will blunder

He’s a bona-fide, triple-dipped, chinless wonder.

He lacks all charisma, he has no verve;

He can’t shave too close ‘cause he lacks the nerve.

He boasts vision that rivals any mole,

And he’s happy binge-watching “Paw Patrol”.

To call him slow is to mock the snail.

Like an escargot, Eric leaves a trail

Of slime,

And though he’ll produce no pearl,

His oyster-kisses put off the girls.

He now owns about 50 million shares

Since they pushed his mother right down the stairs.

He inherited stock, and his Dad’s small cock,

And the warm demeanor of Mr. Spock.

Glenn Ebo Perry's avatar

I just saw that Country Joe McDonald died. I’m smiling through tears.😭 Stopping the Vietnam War was my focus, along with my campaign to get someone, somewhere, to fuck me.

It all worked out.

Chris Politzki's avatar

Oh my god -- you are soooo creative!! Wonderful. LMAO at "He inherited stock, and his Dad's ... " etc. and so forth.

Glenn Ebo Perry's avatar

The challenge, Chris, is to do it FAST!

Clym Yeobright's avatar

Ya think? Give me a year and a day and I might come up with something half as smooth and apt as you do daily … but I can’t promise that, either. Of course, in this case, you had a lot to work with, didn’t you? I would have scratched my head to the bone to encapsulate in two lines your take on Eric’s beard-not-beard! Well done, friend

nacreplus2's avatar

Please don't demean Spock!! He cared deeply for all the right things and his integrity and honesty were never in question. Also, he was smart!

Glenn Ebo Perry's avatar

Demeaning Vulcan Spock?

Why that’s the last think I would do!

Although he had a greenish tint, we know he was true blue.

Like an oyster with an irritant,

Where tidal waters swirl,

The oyster secretes nacre

And the nacre forms a pearl.

Wendy Tucker's avatar

Not just liked. Really really liked and especially 'chinless wonder.'

Mr. Steven G Schwartz's avatar

Was I wrong to assume that was who Trump handpicked?

Mary Powell's avatar

Made my day. Haven’t laughed all day ‘til I saw this🙌🙌🙌🙌

Christine's avatar

Can't wait to hear how Karoline Leavitt and Michael Chueng peddle these comments

S watson's avatar

Again Andy you have saved my day!

I so hope he and his brothers are the first to sign up in support of their idiot father. Good lord

Lisa Botwinick's avatar

Send them to Iran, boots on the ground! Or do they have bone spurs too?

Jim McCarthy's avatar

Problem: Unless they were immediately fragged, the Trump Brothers would pose a iclear danger to their fellow soldiers.

Jude Wilson's avatar

Why oh why is there no "laugh till I cry" emoji here??? A heart is so insufficient!!

Dar's avatar

How easily one recognizes another…/S