Andy, Your satire is very Swiftian this morning! 😉Is it possible to convey the toxicity and sheer despicability of this very deep bench without resorting to Nixonian profanity? Just curious!😂
« Je dis toujours la vérité. Pas toute la vérité, car il n’y a aucun moyen de tout dire. Tout dire est littéralement impossible : les mots manquent. Pourtant, c’est à travers cette impossibilité même que la vérité s’accroche au réel. »
You could have consulted with Trump's boss & European social advisor (Putin) for a higher class of action. He specializes in putting poison dart, frog venom into the backside of people's underwear bottoms. It really makes them sit up and pay attention.
Start,middle & end. You’ve got to have a benchmark.
As for profanity, sometimes there’s no better way to express thoughts, especially to masses. I find those sensitive are usually wrapped a little tight. I for one don’t want your choke collar on Borowitz.
It's like a frosting bad J/T. You squeeze hard and try to manipulate flow but it always comes out the end the same. It's more a matter of if you can handle the bag or not.
One year on from dismantling of USAID, study projects that global aid cuts could lead to 9.4 million deaths by 2030.
So tRump will have more blood on his hands than the Nazis...but he'll likely be dead by then too. Or sooner, considering his physical and mental conditions...
When I took my draft physical, one element was to assemble thirty or forty of us in a room and instruct us to ‘face the wall, drop your BVDs, bend over, and use your hands to spread your cheeks’ - so a doctor could quickly observe any anomaly that would entitle its lucky owner to a IV-F classification. Yes, in my group there was one fellow who put his fingers in his mouth and pulled outwards. LOL Ah Memories
If Prime Minister Carney is on this thread could you assist him in sending it "diplomatically Of Course" to our amateur president ? What do you sayTrickster ?
Hey, are you "my" Rickster? There can only be one, right? The song you linked to has been a family favorite for years as we have tried to find the language needed to adequately describe self-serving political speech and activity. Things have gotten so bad that somehow I have to add the word "flaming" to the song, but all of the syllables won't fit.....
I think what Andy is saying is that JustA Dick Vance is an 7.8 on the Sphincter Scale, while Rubio is at best a 7.5. That begs the question of how all the other shitshow clown car cronies rate on the Sphincter Scale. We need to know if Bondi is smaller or greater than Vought. Is there anyone under a 5?
Thanks for a chuckle this morning, Andy! The clips I saw of her remarks during her questioning last week, her insults and interruptions and lies were a perfect distillation of our vile President and everything (and everyone) he touches.
They are all assholes. And if we need to prove it by allowing TRUMPS and these two names on everything, so be it, thus I write and understand if you take it down.
ABSOLUTELY! LET’S BE FORCED TO HAVE TRUMP’S NAME ON EVERYTHING!
“In October, Office of Management and Budget Director Russell Vought withheld billions of dollars Congress appropriated for a tunnel between New York and New Jersey under the Hudson River, saying he wanted ‘to ensure funding is not flowing based on unconstitutional DEI principles.’ Trump told Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) that he would release the funds if Schumer would agree to name Dulles Airport outside Washington, D.C., and New York City’s Penn Station after him.” — HCR
When this madness is over — whether through a fair election won by a sane party, or when it becomes obvious they are controlling the results of the midterms — thirteen states, including New York and New Jersey, will have had enough.
The Trump name will be taken down, by those who have been terrorized and in hiding for years; by those who can’t afford education, housing, or health insurance; by police officers tired of standing aside to federal thugs; by those who couldn’t benefit from the soaring stock market because they have no 401(k); by doctors, medical staff, and patients tired of fighting wealthy corporations whose sole purpose is making money, not improving medical care.
When that day comes, the TRUMP name will be removed, letter by letter, with huge crowds cheering.
And we will be back on course to saving — by amending — this Constitution.
Either in all fifty states, or beginning with thirteen.
I firmly believe it has to be the latter. After all, fourteen regions did it in Russia in 1991. When the apple is rotten at its core, you need to find a better one.
This is not about one man, one party, or one racist and xenophobic group — this is pure greed that actually started right after the civil war.
I enjoyed seeing any statue being taken down with ropes and people. The eruption by the people when it finally gives way.
Thanks for commenting.
I do warn you that the king of the oligarchs has landed a rocket on a launching pad, stopped all communications in a war zone, and obtained every persons data in four months time.
This mid term will be compromised. And it will be too late to act.
I agree that the Confederacy never ended, and there are huge swaths of people who have been raised to learn of the "War of Northern Aggression" and still believe nonwhites are 3/5 human."Leaders"such as Trump see a vulnerability anywhere and use it to advance an agenda. No humans involved, it's about crushing your opponent.
I actually agree with that. And it might even spread into Russia and change things there. These people have lost love ones - war after war, saw a loved chef turned general killed as he turned on the kremlin, a loved candidate killed, poverty year after year, and Olympics after Olympics being excluded as those country that defected win medals after medals!
If I believed that Marco had ever cracked one volume of that ‘Great Books’ set he bought ‘for the kids’, I’d have a lot more confidence in having him defend ‘our Western Civilization’.
Maybe by tilting his head, Rubio can better hide his many faces.
BTW: I heard that Rubio is able to spin his head 360 to face whatever direction will most benefit him at any moment.
What Rubio doesn't realize is that he could never be Pres because the people he's supporting would shoot themselves in the head before they'd put a Cuban anchor baby in that office, and the sane people have not one drop of respect for him. He'll join the rest in the garbage heap when he's no longer useful to the Dumpsters.
Watching Marco lecture the Munich Conference was like watching Karoline lecture the reporters in the WH press room. How is it that standing at the lectern is the most indifferently educated, least accomplished, worst qualified person in the room … and only that person doesn’t realize it?
It seems Marco Rubio spoke to a crowd on his return from Munich. “I told those people that that Communist Frank Fukuyama was wrong wrong wrong about ‘The End of History’ 30 years ago, putting the U.S. in *grave* danger.” Many of the audience looked sheepish. “All of you who were idiot enough and hated America enough to buy into that BS, man up and stand up.” About half the assembly rose to their feet. “Okay, all of you wearing MAGA hats sit back down.” One person remained standing. “Aha! The commie I am looking for! What’s your story?” The man looked down. “I left my MAGA hat in my car. Just forgot it. I knew I shoulda gone back for it.”
To elaborate: Francis Fukuyama was a neocon Reagan-whisperer who wrote The End of History, which became the Little Red Book of the right wing in the ‘90s and which Rubio denounced in Munich. He was a founder of PNAC, if you’re old enough to remember those days. Think Kristol, Wolfowitz, Novak, Brownback, among others. Interestingly perhaps, Sam Brownback was the original of what JD Vance is a pale copy; he was known as ‘the Senator from Opus Dei’, a convert to Catholicism who thought himself ‘more Catholic than the Pope’. What goes around …
I read part of it, then threw it in the recycling. I couldn't understand why someone wrote such drivel. "Communist?" Bullshit, Rubio. ¡Chinga tu madre, maricón!
In the midst of these truly despicable people, including little Marco's changing story about how his parents came to the US during Battista's--I mean Castro's reign, we should remember a real leader of historic importance, Jesse Jackson, who died today.
In this White House, competition is really tough.
It’s a deep bench.
Asked if white nationalists bleach their assholes, JD Vance said no, he gets spray tanned.
😝 🤣 👏 👍!
You’ve done it again, Al
🤣🤣🤣
🥸😵💫😷
Is a sun lamp, UV rays involved?
Lil' Marco is way too tiny a man to be a ginormous dick, let alone have one.
This "third leg" consists of all his rationalizations for being with Trump!
Andy, Your satire is very Swiftian this morning! 😉Is it possible to convey the toxicity and sheer despicability of this very deep bench without resorting to Nixonian profanity? Just curious!😂
Ask the Europeans—those are all direct quotes. I had no choice in the matter.
Mais Oui ! 😉You always tell the truth 😂!
Had to translate ("of course")
« Je dis toujours la vérité. Pas toute la vérité, car il n’y a aucun moyen de tout dire. Tout dire est littéralement impossible : les mots manquent. Pourtant, c’est à travers cette impossibilité même que la vérité s’accroche au réel. »
Jacques Lacan
génial
You could have consulted with Trump's boss & European social advisor (Putin) for a higher class of action. He specializes in putting poison dart, frog venom into the backside of people's underwear bottoms. It really makes them sit up and pay attention.
No profanity can match what is now in the White House!
Start,middle & end. You’ve got to have a benchmark.
As for profanity, sometimes there’s no better way to express thoughts, especially to masses. I find those sensitive are usually wrapped a little tight. I for one don’t want your choke collar on Borowitz.
The Spanx of Morality?
It's like a frosting bad J/T. You squeeze hard and try to manipulate flow but it always comes out the end the same. It's more a matter of if you can handle the bag or not.
Sorry "BAG"
very clever!
I think Mr. Borowitz is well aware that I have absolutely no choke collar on him !😉You can rest assured too 😂
Sorry, I more meant the suggestion of one.
"Nixonian profanity"!!! I see what you did there!!! 🤣
Almost as deep as the mass grave needed for all those killed by Tяump's foreign aid cuts and vaccine removals.
One year on from dismantling of USAID, study projects that global aid cuts could lead to 9.4 million deaths by 2030.
So tRump will have more blood on his hands than the Nazis...but he'll likely be dead by then too. Or sooner, considering his physical and mental conditions...
Ooh. A baseball reference! I love it!
--and a deep, stinky trench!
Speaking of bench, I still think we need a contest to decide who's on Donald's bench and who's a reserve; March Madness approaches!
LOLOLOLOL
The White House is the national asshole factory outlet.
That’s right Al-especially because they’re all cheap, too
and even if they're ok initially, the item always falls apart easily and becomes useless.
"One time use" should be stamped on all of them
Even if (or is it especially because?) they have all been branded with the trump trademark!!
I think his entire administration should be branded with the tRump trademark. Pick a cheek and bend over!
When I took my draft physical, one element was to assemble thirty or forty of us in a room and instruct us to ‘face the wall, drop your BVDs, bend over, and use your hands to spread your cheeks’ - so a doctor could quickly observe any anomaly that would entitle its lucky owner to a IV-F classification. Yes, in my group there was one fellow who put his fingers in his mouth and pulled outwards. LOL Ah Memories
I heard of one guy who lined his ass with bits of glass and circumcised the examining physician.
Like their crappy merch.
Actually, Mary, I find them ridiculously overpriced.
They're costing us a fortune.
Eloquently stated, Al!
oooooo---good one!!!
Indeed. The world famous national asshole factory, even.
Below wholesale ..
Holesale…
Time for a Wipe Out sale, sponsored by Mr Whipple's Charmin... squeeze but do not touch.
Wow, first thing that came to mind was this classic ditty:
https://youtu.be/XjGNbKhTlr8?si=FU0xOx3lEU5hZ6sR
Priceless!
If Prime Minister Carney is on this thread could you assist him in sending it "diplomatically Of Course" to our amateur president ? What do you sayTrickster ?
Hey, are you "my" Rickster? There can only be one, right? The song you linked to has been a family favorite for years as we have tried to find the language needed to adequately describe self-serving political speech and activity. Things have gotten so bad that somehow I have to add the word "flaming" to the song, but all of the syllables won't fit.....
I’m your fellow Substacker. My sister had a cassette tape of the song she played years ago. I knew the Web would come through.
Indeed. It was a tough call for the Europeans. I feel their pain.
I think what Andy is saying is that JustA Dick Vance is an 7.8 on the Sphincter Scale, while Rubio is at best a 7.5. That begs the question of how all the other shitshow clown car cronies rate on the Sphincter Scale. We need to know if Bondi is smaller or greater than Vought. Is there anyone under a 5?
the hired help
Thanks for a chuckle this morning, Andy! The clips I saw of her remarks during her questioning last week, her insults and interruptions and lies were a perfect distillation of our vile President and everything (and everyone) he touches.
LOVE your double entendre! BRILLIANT and so true.
Being an asshole used to mean something. Now it's another day, another asshole.
remember when Jon Stewart was retiring and The Daily ran a very funny ad introducing Trevor Noah? "Same chair, different ass" was the tagline....
oooh, I found it! https://youtu.be/QkOWSq_O26U?si=Jc7pkUb928WSw-FJ
But for Pam Bondi I have just one thing to,say, “Quiet, quiet piggy.”
They are all assholes. And if we need to prove it by allowing TRUMPS and these two names on everything, so be it, thus I write and understand if you take it down.
ABSOLUTELY! LET’S BE FORCED TO HAVE TRUMP’S NAME ON EVERYTHING!
“In October, Office of Management and Budget Director Russell Vought withheld billions of dollars Congress appropriated for a tunnel between New York and New Jersey under the Hudson River, saying he wanted ‘to ensure funding is not flowing based on unconstitutional DEI principles.’ Trump told Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) that he would release the funds if Schumer would agree to name Dulles Airport outside Washington, D.C., and New York City’s Penn Station after him.” — HCR
When this madness is over — whether through a fair election won by a sane party, or when it becomes obvious they are controlling the results of the midterms — thirteen states, including New York and New Jersey, will have had enough.
The Trump name will be taken down, by those who have been terrorized and in hiding for years; by those who can’t afford education, housing, or health insurance; by police officers tired of standing aside to federal thugs; by those who couldn’t benefit from the soaring stock market because they have no 401(k); by doctors, medical staff, and patients tired of fighting wealthy corporations whose sole purpose is making money, not improving medical care.
When that day comes, the TRUMP name will be removed, letter by letter, with huge crowds cheering.
And we will be back on course to saving — by amending — this Constitution.
Either in all fifty states, or beginning with thirteen.
I firmly believe it has to be the latter. After all, fourteen regions did it in Russia in 1991. When the apple is rotten at its core, you need to find a better one.
This is not about one man, one party, or one racist and xenophobic group — this is pure greed that actually started right after the civil war.
Peace,
John
I look forward to taking a selfie in front of the Kennedy Center while the letters are being removed.
I think there should be an official ceremony, with clowns, balloons, fireworks and ending with a rousing rendition of "America the Beautiful"
Balloons? What’s the use? Hegseth would shoot them down with lasers…
--or thrown shot glasses.....
but won't that be fun, if we have the balloons held by Bondi, and Krusti and Little Stevie Miller and . . . and . . . and . . . (the list goes on)
The clowns are causing this chaos…I’d be happy with televised trials with evidence presented in public.
Must See TV!!
I enjoyed seeing any statue being taken down with ropes and people. The eruption by the people when it finally gives way.
Thanks for commenting.
I do warn you that the king of the oligarchs has landed a rocket on a launching pad, stopped all communications in a war zone, and obtained every persons data in four months time.
This mid term will be compromised. And it will be too late to act.
I agree that the Confederacy never ended, and there are huge swaths of people who have been raised to learn of the "War of Northern Aggression" and still believe nonwhites are 3/5 human."Leaders"such as Trump see a vulnerability anywhere and use it to advance an agenda. No humans involved, it's about crushing your opponent.
I don't think it's unreasonable to insist that this election
be held on a Saturday and all ballots be hand signed and hand counted.
Period. Also overseen by committees of twelve (6 dems 6 reps) in every
district in America. That way nobody can scream foul. Might take a
little longer to get results, but well worth the peace of mind. Hire more
people. I'm sure thousands would be willing. I know I would be.
Nice. And then the results are quickly sent by horse and carriage to Washington. :)
Please start by removing the T so we can all have a good laugh at the ass!
<snort laugh>. If I didn't have respect for JFK, I would say, just remove the "T" and leave it at that. LOL
when that day comes it will be a global celebration much like tearing down the Berlin wall..
we'll hear the cheers in England, Canada and Greenland!
I actually agree with that. And it might even spread into Russia and change things there. These people have lost love ones - war after war, saw a loved chef turned general killed as he turned on the kremlin, a loved candidate killed, poverty year after year, and Olympics after Olympics being excluded as those country that defected win medals after medals!
<standing ovation>
As ever, Andy, thank you for the best morning guffaw!🤣
Don’t worry Marco, CVS has got you covered!
It’s hard to imagine the feelings in Brussels
Sizing up Little Marco’s
Sad, self-serving hustles.
Yet I’ll wager that Rubio stands a much better chance
Than that creep of a VEEP
Sofa fetishist Vance.
If I believed that Marco had ever cracked one volume of that ‘Great Books’ set he bought ‘for the kids’, I’d have a lot more confidence in having him defend ‘our Western Civilization’.
Wait until next year when he sheds this latest layer of unctuous skin to fit the next turned page in our tortured time.
Rubio’s technical program is equally abysmal, but Vance wins on style points. One judge commented that Rubio’s triple klutz doesn’t hold water.
Nice! Very well done!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🤣👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
The tilted head photo of Marco is very funny. Well done.
I must give Marco credit for tilting his head.
Maybe by tilting his head, Rubio can better hide his many faces.
BTW: I heard that Rubio is able to spin his head 360 to face whatever direction will most benefit him at any moment.
What Rubio doesn't realize is that he could never be Pres because the people he's supporting would shoot themselves in the head before they'd put a Cuban anchor baby in that office, and the sane people have not one drop of respect for him. He'll join the rest in the garbage heap when he's no longer useful to the Dumpsters.
Watching Marco lecture the Munich Conference was like watching Karoline lecture the reporters in the WH press room. How is it that standing at the lectern is the most indifferently educated, least accomplished, worst qualified person in the room … and only that person doesn’t realize it?
Makes one realize that there ARE worse Press Secretaries than Sarah Huckabee Sanders! How's she doing as Governor of AR??
I never thought that was possible, but here we are!
Don't ask. I live in SW MO, and that's too damned close to her.
Ah, but he'll have a great pension, won't he while the rest of us....?
True, John Townsend. And free health insurance forever. And FL will probably make him Governor.
Like many in Trump's orbit, he's a weather vane.
He's so "vane"!
That's a perfect description, Robot Bender.
Reminds me of a highschool yearbook picture
The only remedy here is to get Marco Rubio and JD Vance together for an asshole-off; the rules of which will be determined by the Borowitz Report.
excellent idea! I would pay good money to see .... oh wait, my electric bill is due, I'll have to wait until next month.
New idea for Fox News: Sunday Political Ass Off
It seems Marco Rubio spoke to a crowd on his return from Munich. “I told those people that that Communist Frank Fukuyama was wrong wrong wrong about ‘The End of History’ 30 years ago, putting the U.S. in *grave* danger.” Many of the audience looked sheepish. “All of you who were idiot enough and hated America enough to buy into that BS, man up and stand up.” About half the assembly rose to their feet. “Okay, all of you wearing MAGA hats sit back down.” One person remained standing. “Aha! The commie I am looking for! What’s your story?” The man looked down. “I left my MAGA hat in my car. Just forgot it. I knew I shoulda gone back for it.”
It’s like watching that gif of the guy punching himself in the face over and over and over, isn’t it?
To elaborate: Francis Fukuyama was a neocon Reagan-whisperer who wrote The End of History, which became the Little Red Book of the right wing in the ‘90s and which Rubio denounced in Munich. He was a founder of PNAC, if you’re old enough to remember those days. Think Kristol, Wolfowitz, Novak, Brownback, among others. Interestingly perhaps, Sam Brownback was the original of what JD Vance is a pale copy; he was known as ‘the Senator from Opus Dei’, a convert to Catholicism who thought himself ‘more Catholic than the Pope’. What goes around …
I read part of it, then threw it in the recycling. I couldn't understand why someone wrote such drivel. "Communist?" Bullshit, Rubio. ¡Chinga tu madre, maricón!
😂😂😂 only SLIGHTLY less....we are living in a nightmare worthy of Octavia Butler.
Funny, yet very true.
As usual, Andy sticks the landing.
In the midst of these truly despicable people, including little Marco's changing story about how his parents came to the US during Battista's--I mean Castro's reign, we should remember a real leader of historic importance, Jesse Jackson, who died today.