I hate looking at Medicare notifications any more, with Dr. Oz's picture at the top. I always read with caution. So far I haven't read anything weird, but I'm waiting.
Old-timer or not, these are terrific. I was trying to think of something for Bare Naked Ladies but only came up with Bare Naked Sadists---which just didn't please me. Yours, though, are right on target.
I want the poster of HEGADETH for my front door on Halloween! I’ll have a lot of leftover candy. Just think of the fertile mind behind such a perfect, visual metaphor.
I think the skull in the Hegadeth logo should have that weird hairdo Hegseth has. But then, I know nothing about Megadeth or their logo -- how is this one different from the original?
Fun game: come up with more names of indie bands made up of former Federal troops! Sample: Rage Against the ICE Machine
The Dead Kennedy's Brain Worm
Led Kennedies
They Might Be Migrants
I would go with the Lead Kenniedies since lead is close to being as toxic as RFK Jr.
Brilliant!!!
Good one, Susan!
Dunce and The No Evolution with their smash hit “Purple Veins” celebrating Trump’s cankles.
The FED Kennedys
The Somewhat Proud Boys
😂
The Ungrateful Living
Har!!!!!!!
Noem and the Dead Puppies
((…ick, I know))
I know....but still seriously funny!!! LMAO!!! 🤣😅😂🤣😅😂🤣
"Noem in Team"
What!?
Not a single "STEVEn MILLER klan"?
Howz about the Red HAIS Miller Band (Hates All Immigrants Steve)
Sure!!!
(until now, i meant)
KrazyEyes Kash
The Kash Test Dummies
LMAO!!! Your whole column is just hilarious!!!👏👏👏👏 Thank you, Andy!!! 🤣😂😅🤣😂😅
Thank you, Sheri!
Omg, this is hilarious!! Thank you, AB, for bringing joy today. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Desperately needed, o Nobel Contender!
Smashing Rumpkins!!!
The (Trash) Talking Feds!
The Bitchboys!!
Mean Day!
(Gods bless Billie Joe..)
Let’s keep it going!!🎶🥳
I don't know how you can do it day in, day out, but this, I needed today! Thanks!
Got that Andy...WE NEED YOU!!!!
Ohhhh yes!!! The news is scary shit! Let’s stay here!!😂
Pete's Dragoons
Wonderful...👏
Bondi.
Led Tariffs.
The Traveling Epsteins.
I love Bondi
But have you heard her version of "Call Me"? 😈
"Call Me! (Call Me!) Drop a Line!"
"We can take down liberals any time!"
"Call Me! (Call Me!) Drop a Line!"
"You can call even if there is no crime!"
"Call Me... (Call Me!) Call Me... It'll help make Trumpie sat-is-fied...."
Epstein's Sex Pistolettes.
Pickled Pete & his Three Sheets to the Wind Moonshine Boys.
HILARIOUS!!! Big love!!!
Homan League ?
Awesome (and I loved The Human League)
The Brain Worms. (Good name for a punk band!)
"Icky and the sDOGEs"
(Too old? Too wonky?)
Yes we are too old.
Nope - chronologically advantaged!
Yes!!
DAMN!!
If I'd only known in time...
BTAM Master: Trump's vocabulary is very dated: he calls people low life, losers,..
You are assignment!!!!
Nope, not too old nor too wonky -- resplendently retro!!!
As my kids would say: "Nice spin..."
nor too horny
(...sniff...)
We all know who Icky is...
And they'd all be from one of the more technical battalions.
No no!! Iggy would be thrilled!!
https://youtu.be/ZhSFV_M1Hv8
Elon and the Red Hot-doggies.
Justa and the Soulful Sofas.
Dr. Oz and the Medi-Scammers.
I hate looking at Medicare notifications any more, with Dr. Oz's picture at the top. I always read with caution. So far I haven't read anything weird, but I'm waiting.
Dr. Oz's hints for longer life:
Don't take Tylenol, just eat a healthy diet of crudite with Tequila Vinaigrette!
Deffo Dr. Oz and the Medi-scammers
Pretty hard to top Hegaderh
I know you meant Hegadeth, but I absolutely love Hega-derh (as in: gee...I dunno...der)
For the old-timers:
The Grifters
The Boasters
Exclamation Mark and the Hysterians
Earth Wind and Fired
Marvin Straighte
Below-Average White Band
Old-timer or not, these are terrific. I was trying to think of something for Bare Naked Ladies but only came up with Bare Naked Sadists---which just didn't please me. Yours, though, are right on target.
Thiel the Vought.
Elon and the Big Ball CarJackers.
They recently shortened it from CarJack-offs at the request of Justa who wanted to reserve that concept for his brand.
Vance and the Sofa Jackoffs! Thank you for the inspiration!
YES!!! That's the one!!!
You are always so on top of these things, Alan. I am impressed. And I just love the CarJack-Offs.
Susan, the amazing part of the story is that the referenced car is totally autonomous!😉
Marco and the Marionettes are touring in anticipation of their premiere appearance at the K-Center.
Kegsbreath
"PETE Puppets"
I want the poster of HEGADETH for my front door on Halloween! I’ll have a lot of leftover candy. Just think of the fertile mind behind such a perfect, visual metaphor.
I think the skull in the Hegadeth logo should have that weird hairdo Hegseth has. But then, I know nothing about Megadeth or their logo -- how is this one different from the original?
You don't think it would be too scary? The bumpy wave might be hard to model. Good luck all the same.
Your name is the best!
Oh yes! PLEASE OFFER THIS FOR SALE, ANDY!
Portlander here...gotta go see the newly minted Musk-rats.
Do they do Musk-rat Love?
Hegadeath-ella! The new MAGA festival!
Thrill to SSteven Miller and his hour long primal scream of hate!
I saw one guy trade his kevlar vest for some shrooms.
😅 Bwahahaha! When in Rome…
“The Epstein Files” Featuring “The Sound of Silence”
Priceless! And I had to go back and look up the lyrics to The Sound of Silence.
👏👏👍
Oh man, this gave me a much-needed laugh at just the right time!
I didn’t think anything could make me laugh about this, but you succeeded!
Donnie and the Cankles
The Stephen Miller Band. Big “hit” so far: “Fly Like ‘Der Spiegel’”
Oh. Carol. So well done. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
O M G🤣🤣🤣🤣
Subscribing to The Borowitz Report has been the best money I've spent all year! We really need laughter.
Hear hear!!!
The Last Rights? Or perhaps The Lost Rights?
OMG! So spot on it hurts!!!
Or Kristi Meth.
The “Hegadeth” poster is kinda cool.
Agreed
It is!
I really want one…🤔
Absolutely! That could go on the back of my sign for the Oct 18th protest
(Me too!)
Bless you, Andy, for bringing us laughter. I hope their music is danceable.
Maybe something those guys in the (removed) BFF Forever statue on the mall could swing to?
They looked like they were old-style-jitterbugging havin' a fine time.
The Oregasm.
The Garden Noems
Angry Garden Noems
Oooooo…….I like that one so much. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I want the “HEGADETH” 2025 tour t-shirt! Listing all the places they did yard work!