The Borowitz Report

The Borowitz Report

God Formally Notifies Mike Johnson That he is Going to Hell

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Andy Borowitz
Mar 12, 2026
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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a move that many called long overdue, on Thursday God formally notified House Speaker Mike Johnson that he was going to Hell.

In a rare public statement, the Almighty said that Johnson’s support of Donald Trump’s war in Iran was the “last straw” that sealed the Speaker’s eternal damnation.

“…

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