Damnation! If I had known that Trump would blow his flute and lead half of the country from under their rocks to poison the world I would have been a much better person all these years. I had anticipated landing in hell with far more fascinating and far less evil companions. Johnson is the last straw for me! I will petition Satan to create a new level of hell for these horrifying scoundrels.
Well…look at it this way. Us heathens who only committed minor sins like adultery, lying about our weight, and stealing silverware from famous restaurants will have so much fun torturing the Donald Herd of Turds. We can tie them up naked and heap burning coals on their heads until they confess to being turds.
How about attaching The Ring Of Fire around his neck to ensure he roasts properly eternally. An adjustable ring so as Trump and his law makers ease their way down there’s plenty of room.
I saw that trump attended church services Sunday. After the congregation sang the hymn “How Great Thou Art”, trump stood, bowed, and suggested they sing something nice about God too
I love that song❣️ It overwhelms me every time. This administration/regime overwhelms me too, but I don’t love it…it just makes me angry, sad, heartbroken and it makes me want to spit. I don’t spit. I hope this nightmare is over soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mike can take comfort that his Higher Power trump will be down there too, probably trying to rig the election for satan and firing tomahawk missiles from hell at more children.
Maya Angelou: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
Donald Trump: "'They say I have the most loyal people — did you ever see that? Where I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn’t lose any voters,' he said, 'It’s like incredible.'"
Epstein Files: Evidence is emerging that girls and women were killed after being tortured with rape and other depravities and then were buried on Epstein's New Mexico property. (perhaps on others?)
I have been wondering what could possibly be in the Trump-Epstein files that Trump is so afraid of that he is starting World War III as a distraction. He's a convicted felon, fraudster, and rapist, an admitted pedophile, peeping tom, sexual predator and tax cheat. What's left?
Just connecting the dots here... Perhaps, Andy, you can somehow get to the truth here.
Oh and just by the way:
Donald Trump's ex-wife: died by falling downstairs with some mysterious details involved and buried in a weird, barely identified grave in the back lot of one of Trump's golf courses. Maybe that's just a behavior pattern?
that gives me some hope, wish it was topside on Earth tho, like, now; when you grow up in the Bible Belt of Dixie (dad in air force) you get slimed by what I call 'churchianity'
Here's my fear: he's not doing these crazy-ass things because he wants to distract from the Epstein files. He a) doesn't believe he did anything wrong and b) doesn't believe he can be harmed by anything or anyone. He does things because that's the latest misfiring neuron in his brain. Which makes me feel like I just realized the driver of the bus is blind and on meth.
I think you may be correct, Andrea. He really might believe he's flawless and immortal. He really might. The problem is that he seems to be convincing others. The Church of Donald Trump and Later-Day Saints???
Since Ivana accused donnie of rape and excessive hair pulling in her divorce deposition, we know he's capable of physical violence. Ivana later retracted this claim ($$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$??) but it's still public information.
To all you Trump voters, listen to what Maya says. Don't listen to what he says, but what he does! Starting a war is a bit drastic to avoid the Epstein Files. Perhaps they are in Iran and destroyed by now! Or Putin knows since he is telling him what to do!
Putin definitely has a lot of unnatural influence on Trump. One of Trump's sons said years ago that they were awash in Russian money. So, I figured Putin could expose that he's a total fraud of a business man, but that just doesn't seem like enough now. Besides his bankruptcies make that public already.
I'm sure! He needs to be impeached AND REMOVED! Hopefully after the midterms! I don't know how they will remove him! After the midterms, 2 more years left and he won't be able to do anything!
Check out ALISA WRITES on Substack for a fascinating 4-part article about what’s been going on with Epstein’s New Mexico ranch. Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez, a journalist to follow.
I have read all four parts and it is scary. My vocabulary does not have the words to describe how awful all this has been. Thank your for highlighting these articles. I hope lots of people read them.
There is so so much we don't know. And we can't let the information remain secret. It may take generations (God Forbid), but the truth must be revealed.
Don't feel bad for Mike Johnson. When he gets to Hell, he will be so busy shaking hands with so many old friends such as Mitch McConnell, Lindsay Graham and other MAGA deplorables he won't notice the air conditioning is out.
Every sentence LOL!! I think this may beat Satan sending JD Vance to the Pope’s funeral to represent him because he had a more pressing engagement: a Tesla board meeting. 🤣🤣🤣 Bless you, Andy. YOUR reward will surely be in Heaven.
Refreshing honesty from Mike.
Damnation! If I had known that Trump would blow his flute and lead half of the country from under their rocks to poison the world I would have been a much better person all these years. I had anticipated landing in hell with far more fascinating and far less evil companions. Johnson is the last straw for me! I will petition Satan to create a new level of hell for these horrifying scoundrels.
Great Idea! Inferno -Lago ? 😂
Great name! Or The Southern White House.
Or 'Alligator Hell'...
"Allegator Acheron"?
Florida Outhouse more like it.
"The Way, Way Down Southern White House!
Hell-o-Lago?
"Inferno-a-Lago"?
"Lago de Fuego"?
"Fuego-a-Lago"?
Love it!
Well…look at it this way. Us heathens who only committed minor sins like adultery, lying about our weight, and stealing silverware from famous restaurants will have so much fun torturing the Donald Herd of Turds. We can tie them up naked and heap burning coals on their heads until they confess to being turds.
💩
Herd of Turds!! Isn't it the truth?
Herd of turds...great.
That would be really fun!
Our transgressions are minimal compared to theirs, Kimball. Perhaps we can go to heaven if God grades on a curve. can't wait!
A steep curve, I'm betting!
-and the rest of the heathens steal Satan's silverware......
How about attaching The Ring Of Fire around his neck to ensure he roasts properly eternally. An adjustable ring so as Trump and his law makers ease their way down there’s plenty of room.
Great!
Honesty and Mike Johnson is an example of an a classic oxymoron! Thanks Andy! 😉
I rate this 10/10 on my "Andy Borowitz is funny this morning scale".
Without Andy, I would still be taking this administration seriously
You can’t do that and maintain your sanity. It’s a perfect example of cognitive dissonance.
--clang, clanging inside one's head!
I saw that trump attended church services Sunday. After the congregation sang the hymn “How Great Thou Art”, trump stood, bowed, and suggested they sing something nice about God too
OY!
LOL!
I love that song❣️ It overwhelms me every time. This administration/regime overwhelms me too, but I don’t love it…it just makes me angry, sad, heartbroken and it makes me want to spit. I don’t spit. I hope this nightmare is over soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I agree!! It's one of my favorite hymns.
Written by a Swedish sea captain, I believe!
I'm surprised a bolt of lightning didn't strike him.
Brilliant as always!
Mikey will find a LOT of familiar faces where he’s going. Let him ‘Rapture’ over that.
Mike can take comfort that his Higher Power trump will be down there too, probably trying to rig the election for satan and firing tomahawk missiles from hell at more children.
Nothing refreshing about Mike Johnson, ever!
Surely Satan will appeal this to trump. He doesn’t want the whiny little bastard either
Satan better watch out ! Trump abetted by Johnson will incite an insurrection against him and tell Satan his election was rigged ! 😂
Very funny Pradnya! I’ve heard many a comment that humour and humorist’s are indicators of the highest intellect!
We are :)
I read that as "erection".
I'm with you, Miss Emily!
---and that Republicans will need to control Hell's elections from now on!
Whoa! Surprise! I’ve received a reply from God. He says …
DON’T CALL ME SHIRLEY
'Airplane.' My favorite movie of all times. One of the best parts is the very end, reading the credits.
How about "Pearly" for the "pearly gates"?
LOL
LOL!!!
South Park features the courtship!
I am deeply disappointed that Satan has not yet taken pity on us and called trump home.
This is what he meant by " A living Hell".
--there are already so many down there!
When MAGAT Mikey shows up, Satan will be very, very, VERY pissed off at having him in Hell.
God also had a problem with Mike's being OK with Trump raping an innocent 13 year old girl and then killing 175 of same in Iran.
Oh, right, that!
Wondering about...:
Maya Angelou: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
Donald Trump: "'They say I have the most loyal people — did you ever see that? Where I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn’t lose any voters,' he said, 'It’s like incredible.'"
Epstein Files: Evidence is emerging that girls and women were killed after being tortured with rape and other depravities and then were buried on Epstein's New Mexico property. (perhaps on others?)
I have been wondering what could possibly be in the Trump-Epstein files that Trump is so afraid of that he is starting World War III as a distraction. He's a convicted felon, fraudster, and rapist, an admitted pedophile, peeping tom, sexual predator and tax cheat. What's left?
Just connecting the dots here... Perhaps, Andy, you can somehow get to the truth here.
Oh and just by the way:
Donald Trump's ex-wife: died by falling downstairs with some mysterious details involved and buried in a weird, barely identified grave in the back lot of one of Trump's golf courses. Maybe that's just a behavior pattern?
Satan's imps and demons are busy working on expanding that special circle for phony Christians!
Oh - Matthew was on to them a couple of thousand years ago.
that gives me some hope, wish it was topside on Earth tho, like, now; when you grow up in the Bible Belt of Dixie (dad in air force) you get slimed by what I call 'churchianity'
I developed Post Traumatic Church Disorder (PTCD) from my experiences with cruelly hypocritical evangelicalism in high school.
please please please oh please
--and they've contracted with Halliburton.....
Here's my fear: he's not doing these crazy-ass things because he wants to distract from the Epstein files. He a) doesn't believe he did anything wrong and b) doesn't believe he can be harmed by anything or anyone. He does things because that's the latest misfiring neuron in his brain. Which makes me feel like I just realized the driver of the bus is blind and on meth.
He only has the one brain cell.
And it's on life support.
I think you may be correct, Andrea. He really might believe he's flawless and immortal. He really might. The problem is that he seems to be convincing others. The Church of Donald Trump and Later-Day Saints???
(Should I apologize to any Mormons?)
The Church of Donald Trump and Latter-Day Dipshits!
I’m not a Mormon, but I would apologize to them for linking dst to their church.
Melania better watch her step. She may fall by way of an abruptly stopped escalator.
She could end up in the foundation of The Ballroom.
Melania Who ??
now that is a possibility!
--or under the new Rose Garden patio!
OK by me
Whoops, Melanomia.
Since Ivana accused donnie of rape and excessive hair pulling in her divorce deposition, we know he's capable of physical violence. Ivana later retracted this claim ($$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$??) but it's still public information.
Either Donald or the Deep State will have "adjusted" her stilettos!
The golf course apparently gets tax break by now being a cemetery.
His wife fell down stairs instead of using the elevator.
grifting on the mother of his kids, he monetizes everything
I looked up another grifter, General Caine. If the wiki page is correct, he probably stands to make a lot of money on the mess in the Middle East.
Did she fall by herself, or did she perhaps have a little help? Just asking...
Id say asked and answered.
And Epstein hung himself?
Love that Maya Angelou quote...
To all you Trump voters, listen to what Maya says. Don't listen to what he says, but what he does! Starting a war is a bit drastic to avoid the Epstein Files. Perhaps they are in Iran and destroyed by now! Or Putin knows since he is telling him what to do!
Putin definitely has a lot of unnatural influence on Trump. One of Trump's sons said years ago that they were awash in Russian money. So, I figured Putin could expose that he's a total fraud of a business man, but that just doesn't seem like enough now. Besides his bankruptcies make that public already.
I'm sure! He needs to be impeached AND REMOVED! Hopefully after the midterms! I don't know how they will remove him! After the midterms, 2 more years left and he won't be able to do anything!
Hell, it worked for Bibi. Look who talked him into it.
It's keeping them both out of jail!
That's why they are doing what they are doing but not for long!
Check out ALISA WRITES on Substack for a fascinating 4-part article about what’s been going on with Epstein’s New Mexico ranch. Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez, a journalist to follow.
Thank you for recommending Alisa Valdes-Rodrigez!
I have read all four parts and it is scary. My vocabulary does not have the words to describe how awful all this has been. Thank your for highlighting these articles. I hope lots of people read them.
You forgot grifter.
There is so so much we don't know. And we can't let the information remain secret. It may take generations (God Forbid), but the truth must be revealed.
I agree with you 100%!
Yep, God’s a wee sensitive about these things.
HAHA! 🎶 🇨🇦
Oh, that? That’s right - I forgot. God.
YA!
Yeah!
There are times, even as an atheist, where I wish these things could be true.
So with you on that wish.
If there wasn't a God we would've had to invent one. :-)
We did, Al, we did.
Voltaire said that about 300 years ago.
--or invent Zeus and company!
I'm very unsure about any afterlife, but I like having somewhere horrible to put the current administration
Agreed… That eternal burning in hell thing seems so appropriate.
Oh, Andy, you are priceless. I can't thank you enough for making me laugh in the darkness....every day.
Ruth
Amen to that.
Yes! You do do that, Andy. Thanks Ruth, for your comment.
Don't feel bad for Mike Johnson. When he gets to Hell, he will be so busy shaking hands with so many old friends such as Mitch McConnell, Lindsay Graham and other MAGA deplorables he won't notice the air conditioning is out.
Maybe he will then emulate the "rotten hand" look made famous by his Big Brother.
And think of the upside. He'll get to sniff Trump's butt for eternity.
And to answer why Trump's butt is so big? So that Vance, Johnson and Bondi can all kiss it at the same time.
Don't forget Miller and Patel
I hadn't thought of that....
and there's no ice for his lemonade
Actually, there will be plenty of ICE. But I think we are talking about two different types of ICE.
Touché
What would really be cool is if The Almighty took away their voices....and their access to Social Media
That sounds like something out of Greek mythology. I like it!
How about well-aimed thunderbolts from Zeus?
Or if every time they used either the entire world laughed at them.
silent, empty screaming in the abyss
He’s so stupid he needed to be notified of the obvious 😏
Exactly! Wonderful point.
He has the best words- 'excursion' ! What a moron.
I think he went to the Dan Quayle school of spelling!
One podcaster mused he meant 'intrusion', but with Donnie he could think it's playtime, not a killing/destroying vanity project
--in big neon letters!
Every sentence LOL!! I think this may beat Satan sending JD Vance to the Pope’s funeral to represent him because he had a more pressing engagement: a Tesla board meeting. 🤣🤣🤣 Bless you, Andy. YOUR reward will surely be in Heaven.
More likely, Johnson would have said he hadn’t seen the announcement yet as he ran away from Manu Raju!
As Gandhi said, "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”
great post, Paul - that's Ernie's canned answer about anything, "I haven't seen it."
LOVE the quote from Gandhi - and I doubt he ever met a MAGA sheeperson
That's why I call so much of it 'churchianity' and their Jesus talk akin to idolatry (a sin!)
Bound to happen when you not only violate the Ten Commandments in general but your oath you swore to the Constitution in particular.
Gee, I thought getting his son to join him on the porn app would get him into heaven for sure.
yeah, I wonder how that is going?
That last line makes it all worthwhile!
A Profile in Discourage if ever there were one.
🏆
Unfortunately, it seems that the party has indeed chosen to serve the demigod over the righteous. Delusional.
Somewhere there is Mikey's portrait all withered & foul to reflect his soul. A Dorian Gray painting to terrifying all who gaze upon it.
So that explains his downy complexion!
was just thinking of Dorian!