425 Comments
User's avatar
Andy Borowitz's avatar

Happy Saturday, everyone! Right here in New Hampshire it's -4, which is also Trump's current approval rating.

Old Man Kerapsak's avatar

And IQ level

Mary Roeser's avatar

You guys! I am laughing my head off!! But ain't it the truth?

John Townsend's avatar

Not even that high!

Wis's avatar

Stay bundled! I think trump’s approval rating will be sinking even lower than the temperature, all over the country. We can all stay wrapped in our blankets, sipping our cocoa, and gleefully watch the numbers fall.

Eileen's avatar

"...and gleefully watch the numbers fall" like the snowflakes that we are and that we have :).

Wis's avatar

Nice! Very poetic. 💕

Annette's avatar

yes, please :)

modj's avatar

I can't sip cocoa while people are being gassed, murdered, kidnapped, beaten, terrorized in Minneapolis. I just can't.

HarrisWalz FTW 2024's avatar

But if you're in an area about to be hit by Fern, there aren't many alternatives. I'm hoping that the thugs called in from other states won't be able to handle the Minnesota weather and will freeze in their own tracks.

John Townsend's avatar

May they freeze in their tracks all over!

C K Smith's avatar

They will be wishing for some of that cold when they are burning in Hell, God willing!

HarrisWalz FTW 2024's avatar

Or anywhere, really, as long as they aren't in reach of anyone. Is it possible for guns to freeze? Ooh, is it assault just to throw water on someone/at their guns?

Catharine Farkas's avatar

We need to have time for nurturing ourselves or we will not be useful for anything. Please take care of yourself. 🫂☕

Stuart Baron's avatar

I’m using rye right now.

Joanne Beck's avatar

I will be gleeful when he is GONE GONE GONE

John Gregory's avatar

someone said today that Trump's grave will be the world's biggest gender-neutral toilet. May it be soon!

Charlene's avatar

Now there's a line I'd stand in!

Ann Jamieson's avatar

LOVE that image!

Unsafely Anonymous's avatar

And I always had your remarkable president tapped for the room-temperature IQ crowd.

jb from Weston's avatar

make that C not F

Robert E.'s avatar

Shaken...Not stirred...

modj's avatar

not stirred, but not stirred in Stir.

Annette's avatar

(maybe tRump 1.0) but that's giving him a lot of credit now

John Townsend's avatar

No, Trump and company are at freezing level along with their compassion!

Wis's avatar

(It’s a balmy 12° and sunny here in CO. I may go to the lake for a swim today.)

🥶

Gordon Shumway's avatar

-24 F here in northern MN; I'd go for a ski but it's too bloody cold!

jon Hodson's avatar

A very balmy 70 here in Phoenix.

Patricia Dempsey's avatar

Show off! lol. I went to donate blood in Bangor Maine this morning at 8 a.m. and it was a balmy 5 below zero. With winds!

Wis's avatar

You’re such a good person! Lots of folks would have put that off til Spring! 💕

Frau Katze's avatar

Man that’s COLD!

Olivia Ward's avatar

Ah, reminds me of Moscow when former Mayor Yuri Luzhkov would waddle down to the freezing Moskva River and plunge in...tRump loves Russia...maybe he could do a Potomac Plunge...to the bottom.

Wis's avatar

He’d float. We’d need to weight him down with an army tank or maybe the fancy airplane he grifted from Qatar.

Barbara Greer's avatar

Yes, he's a gasbag.

John Townsend's avatar

--in cement shoes!

SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

There was a UTube of Ted Cruz packed up and leaving. Hysterical.

Wis's avatar

Old patterns never die with that creep!

Kathleen D. Pierce's avatar

For some reason that ugly POS was in Cali.

Charlene's avatar

I wish he'd stay gone but I can't wish him on anywhere else.

Annette's avatar

take a very thick warm towel!

John Townsend's avatar

May ICE, Noem, and Trump jump in a lake!

Olivia Ward's avatar

I recommend Lake Baikal, in Siberia. It's so deep there's no chance of him ever surfacing again.

Pradnya Sikand's avatar

Happy Saturday, Andy ! I’m so glad that God has finally decided to intervene! It’s about time ! 😉Gratifying to see that the Almighty shares your biting sense of humor !He must subscribe to TBR !😂

Angie Longenecker's avatar

It’s because no football on tv today. “All glory to God” ala some football players.

Susan Wingate's avatar

LOLOLOL. I can't stop laughing.

Carole Weintraub's avatar

And IQ.

Susan Stone's avatar

No, I'm sorry, but I think that -4 is more accurate… 12 is very generous.

Annette's avatar

and his credit rating

LHS's avatar

I was laughing until I read this: https://www.startribune.com/ice-raids-minnesota/601546426 Another shooting. 😭

LHS's avatar

Per the NY Times just now: "Federal law enforcement agents shot and killed a person in Minneapolis on Saturday morning, according to local and federal officials with knowledge of the episode, prompting a clash between the authorities and more than 100 protesters who swarmed the scene.

The circumstances of the shooting were not immediately clear, but video circulating on social media and verified by The New York Times appears to show it from a distance. In the footage, several people, apparently federal agents, are seen holding a person down on the sidewalk while at least one officer strikes the person with an object.

An apparent gunshot is heard, and several more appear to follow. The agents scatter, and a person falls to the ground.

The shooting occurred near the intersection of 26th Street and Nicollet Avenue, officials said, near a Glam Doll Donuts location. Dozens of protesters at the site blew whistles and angrily demanded that police officers arrest the federal agents. In response, law enforcement officials deployed tear gas and flash bangs to try to disperse the crowd."

Rachel Simon's avatar

7 Democrats crossed the aisle to maintain support of ICE. They names and faces must be posted and reposted!

The seven Democrats who sided with Republicans were Reps. Henry Cuellar (Texas), Jared Golden (Maine), Marie Gluesenkamp Perez (Wash.), Laura Gillen (N.Y.), Don Davis (N.C.), Tom Suozzi (N.Y.) and Vicente Gonzalez (Texas).

Their excuses are pitiful. MAGA DEMS MUST GO!

J Cheng's avatar

I feel funny liking this post because it angers me and I therefore I hate it. But you all know what I mean. Get those Maga Dems out.....

Wis's avatar

We know how that is! “Like” is more of an “I echo your outrage” and “I support what you say” than “I like what you’re talking *about* and the situation is okay with me”.

SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

I couldn't believe the Washington rep but sure enough...I looked

her up! Not my district but she's going to get one hell of an Email

today!!

Wis's avatar

Good! Go get her!

Laura Pellechia's avatar

There was more.in that bill.than just for funding ice. That is what not being said. Some.of the other areas included were transportation security, federal emergency and disaster relief assistance and the U.S. Coast Guard. Believe I live where 2 democrats crossed lines,had was mad too. It wasn't until I read an article explaining why they did what they did.

Rachel Simon's avatar

Their excuse was they didn’t want another shut down.

1. MAGA “ the last shut down was the Dems fault” BS

2. The bill they signed greatly increases ICE funds.

Does not wash for me. They are permitting does their constituents having their children kidnapped, women shot in the face and more horrors hourly.

The 7 Dems are Magat-Traitors to the hundreds of thousands who are marching in sub-zero weather protesting.

Oaktown's avatar

Their votes were a repeat of the ones who voted to allow health care subsidies to expire, claiming the Reds would hold a separate vote, which everyone KNEW was never gonna pass the MAGGOT party.

These 7 claimed they got agreements for improved ICE training and wearing body cameras—after ICE and BP have already demonstrated countless times they do NOT follow the law anyway. They also claimed it would fund FEMA, which Prez Nitwit has said many times we don't need; he's already denied multiple state's requests for FEMA aid after a disaster. It's BULLSHIT and they know it. Let's remember their names and encourage true fighters for democracy to primary them.

ICE already received, what, $600 billion more funding for the Gestapo than they've ever had? The next thing they'll do is claim they've depleted Federal funding so much they'll have to end, reduce, or privatize Social Security, something the Red party has been trying to do ever since it was established. How dare those turncoats call themselves Democrats; they caved without even trying to force the unpopular MAGGOTS to face the music at a time when their popularity is at an all-time low.

Wis's avatar

Frightening.

J Cheng's avatar

The clip I saw showed about 8 agents holding the guy down on the ground, hitting him, etc. and then they all step back and he's prone and dead. WTFF!

Wis's avatar

Yes, there’s nothing funny about any of this. Nothing. Humor is a coping strategy but I doubt anyone on this forum is laughing at the reasons behind the humor.

Kathy's avatar

-4 is also trump’s IQ… and remember, there are no coincidences with God!

BARBARA RITTER's avatar

Also his MMSE score (Mini-mental state examination). 23 or lower is "impaired."

J Cheng's avatar

It's that high????

Joanne Beck's avatar

We got you beat in VT -12 here!

Deb Smith's avatar

How in the world do you do this day after day? Your posts are so clever, so biting, so true that I marvel at your creative brain! Thank you for this laugh out loud -- so appropriate!

Andy Borowitz's avatar

❤️❤️❤️

modj's avatar

Love. That's our superpower

Kathy Combs's avatar

Couldn't agree more.

joannegucci's avatar

And YOU - SO PERFECT! 🤩

Randall Wilson's avatar

As a lifelong Minnesotan, 57 years so far, I feel that we are being punished because God created the people that created trump. BTW...another shooting this Saturday morning. After close to 50,000 marchers yesterday said "No More, Go Away", among other more colorful statements. Thanks everyone for your support! Peace

RSW

Brenda Reiss's avatar

Good luck! I hope you are successful in throwing ice out. We are with you.

Wis's avatar

We marched with you in spirit and in our streets, too! I have to go read up on this other shooting - but protesters are the ones dying. Who’s the domestic terrorist here? Trump/ICE!! 🤬

bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

Sending positive thoughts to you all.

May you be successful in expelling the ICE thugs

Janeo's avatar

Thank you for all you do!

Erika Rosenfeld's avatar

I keep saying that, if I wanted to be this cold (9 degrees wind chill in West Harlem, NYC), I would have stayed in Minnesota, where I lived for several years. Now I think I should move back, so I can live among the righteous. May your hearts (and fingers) be warm and your words barbed.

fred schwartz's avatar

Well, god is punishing us bc we tolerate homosexuality and those 50,000 people are all commies and hate America, dontcha know.

Annette's avatar

yes, fred, we belong in hell because we care! Damn us!

John Townsend's avatar

Bless us to heaven!

Annette's avatar

Blessed Be! (I've recently hooked up to the Handmaid's Tale - I read the book decades ago, but just tapped into Hulu)

Wis's avatar

Um… how did you get 4 “likes”?

fred schwartz's avatar

because they recognized rampant sarcasm.

Wis's avatar

lol- I’m obviously not smart enough to! Sorry! It’s sad that I can actually believe a maga troll would say such a thing. I guess because it’s not unexpected in reality. I’m your 5th “like”!

misia.d's avatar

Do you think fewer people turned out than would have in July? Based on the Minn folks that I know, I think the Cold inspires them!

Wis's avatar

Determination and outrage are powerful forces that make the cold irrelevant to the cause! We shall overcome! 👏💪

Annette's avatar

deep in my heart, I do believe!

LHS's avatar
8hEdited

Oh, no! https://www.startribune.com/ice-raids-minnesota/601546426 "A man was shot and killed by federal agents in south Minneapolis this morning, Minneapolis Police Chief Brian O’Hara said. Video shows several agents wrestling the man to the ground and shooting him multiple times." https://www.youtube.com/live/ASr1zVuQlX4

Wis's avatar

Feds dead: 0. Regular human beings dead: 2 we know of for sure, plus who knows how many in detention camps and people of color who get ignored by the media as casualties.

Peaceful resistance is still the answer but I fervently hope the bloodshed and craziness ends. Which, as I mention in another post, would happen immediately if trump stopped the massive presence, profiling and illegal raids by armed, ill-trained, mentally unstable ICE agents.

Jason Merchey's avatar

Now is the winter of our discontent. WS

John Townsend's avatar

--Extreme discontent! Extreme anger to melt any snowstorm!

Taisa  Markus's avatar

Haha. Good one.

Meanwhile, in Russia, six feet of snow fell in the Far East last week (true). Putin blamed Zelensky and his snow carrying drones (probably true).

Annette's avatar

yeah, who would have thought Russia would get snow . . .?

Suzi Harkey's avatar

Hahahahahahahaha… oh too good!

It's Come To This's avatar

chuckle-giggle, yuk-yuk, hip-hip-hurrah...😊👏

Judy Sherwood's avatar

Can't stop laughing!!! Here in Minnesota the high today MIGHT get to ZERO degrees F.

It was - 23 F during the night last night... so YEAH, we are Greenland. In spite of all that, there were THOUSANDS of us protesting ICE in downtown Mpls and at the MSP a/p yesterday.

Thousands, Donnie!

In the bitter cold, Donnie. That's how PO'd we all are... Donnie.

Kimberly Swanson's avatar

Must be expensive for whoever is paying all those professional protestors…. 🤣🤣🤣🙄

Annette's avatar

Oh yes, all those paid agitators! I hear they each get a $10 Dunkin gift card and a pair of gloves from the Dollar Tree.

John Townsend's avatar

Oh, wow! Where do I sign up! Do I need a resume'?

Annette's avatar

I believe paid agitators, as the bloated yam calls them, are those who couldn't cut it as ICE agents

LHS's avatar

Yes! In addition to "professionally-painted signs", they are having to pay for snowboots, layers of socks, puffy coats, scarves, gloves and, in honor of our Canadian neighbors, tuques.

Veejer's avatar

The first time I travelled to Minneapolis I left my coat on the plane. It was -20. To me that felt pretty much like 10, except my sinuses froze faster. Good excuse to stay home and watch movies and eat popcorn, I think.

Frau Katze's avatar

Enjoy the popcorn 🍿

Jonathan Weker's avatar

If we agree that Trump is a fascist dictator, can we just jump to the part where he shouts himself in the bunker?

Susan Fernbach's avatar

He shouts regularly already…

Jonathan Weker's avatar

Yikes! I meant to write “shoots himself in the bunker”!

Annette's avatar

it's OK . . . he'll be shouting before he's shooting . . . and then we will have a silent night and peace will come over the hills and valley (and not the Board of Peace)

Susan Fernbach's avatar

I knew that, Jonathan. 😉

Karen Rodd's avatar

This is perfect revenge for Trump’s latest antics! Living here in DC in Hell Central, I’m not looking forward to the Armageddon that will overtake the city with the impending snow. However, if this would permanently chase Trump down to Mar-a-Lago, I’m all in. Let the snow begin!

Annette's avatar

oh, good thought . . . with all those blood thinners, I'm sure he's shaking in his cankles.

Irna Gadd's avatar

<appreciative applause- I learned that from you 😉😉😊>

Annette's avatar

thank you :) imitation is the sincerest form of flattery :)

Lisa N. Peterson's avatar

Jerkwad-in-Chief!

Hank Greenspan's avatar

So God does have an ear after all.

Judy Sherwood's avatar

and SHE is paying attention.

Annette's avatar

<appreciative applause>

Mary-Chilton van Hees's avatar

And a wicked sense of humor.

LHS's avatar

"Jerkwad" was just... perfect.

L.D.Michaels's avatar

BOMBSHELL REPORT THAT GREENLAND IS REALLY A MONEY GRAB!

$ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $

Yesterday, The Daily Pennsylvanian, the student newspaper of Donald Trump's and Ronald Lauder's alma mater, the University of Pennsylvania, reported that:

"Lauder...is credited with first sparking Trump’s interest in Greenland, having pitched the idea to the President several years ago. His recent investment in the territory coincides with a White House effort to frame United States control of the island as imperative to national security interests...

"During his first term in office, Trump dedicated research to the potential annexation of Greenland after Lauder proposed the idea. At the time, Lauder even volunteered to serve as a “back channel” for negotiations with Denmark regarding the sale....Ronald Lauder has made significant investments across the Danish territory....

"According to Danish news outlet Politiken, Lauder — the sole heir of $29 billion cosmetics company Estée Lauder — recently invested in a Greenlandic freshwater bottling company. His new partners include Jørgen Wæver Johansen, the husband of Greenland’s foreign minister Vivian Motzfeldt, and businessman Svend Hardenberg....

"Lauder and his colleagues in the investor group have a very good understanding of and access to the luxury market," Hardenberg said on the investments.

"Lauder is reportedly a member of the American investment group Greenland Development Partners, which has a stake in several projects across the territory. 

"In February 2025, Lauder defended Trump in a New York Post column: “Trump’s Greenland concept was never absurd — it was strategic,” he wrote. “I have worked closely with Greenland’s business and government leaders for years to develop strategic investments there, even as the Biden administration, unsurprisingly, ignored and underestimated its vast opportunity....Lauder added that Greenland’s natural resources and strategic positioning make it “America’s next frontier.”

These disclosures add further evidence that Trump's threats and efforts to "own" Greenland are driven more by profits and protecting those profits than by our own national security.

They also add significant credence to the prospect that the $1 billion a piece that Trump is seeking from countries or their business communities for his supposed "Board of Peace" are not, in fact, mere contributions in furtherance of restoring peace in GAZA , as was reported to be one of the purposes, but rather investments for high rates of return.

One of the stated purposes of this Board is to pursue the "reconstruction" of Gaza, and I think that we vividly recall Jared Kushner's proposal to convert Gaza into a luxury resort on the sea. Whoever may be paid to do the reconstruction and whoever may profit by it, we can be sure that there is money to be made there.

The full article , by Luke Petersen and Riana Mahtani, may be found at:

https://www.thedp.com/article/2026/01/penn-trump-greenland-ronald-lauder-donor-financial-ties?utm_source=Newsletters&utm_campaign=c177a5071a-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2026_01_22_10_56&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_-c177a5071a-353398753

Penny Pawl's avatar

I had the feeling this idea came from elsewhere as T does not think for himself.

L.D.Michaels's avatar

Agreed. Others supply the brains. Trump supplies the mouth. Here, once Trump discovered that there's lots of money to be made in Greenland, he took the lead so he could get the credit from his big backers. Deep down inside, Tump is a moron, with a fourth grade vocabulary and the temper of a three year old who is greedy for admiration.

Irna Gadd's avatar

Anyone who ever believed this was about American security is naïve. EVERYTHING he does is about money.

Sharon P's avatar

wonder what happens when 47 realizes he is being played and laughed at by these 'greedsters'

Harvey Perry's avatar

I suspected that it came from Putin during one of his many secret telephone tutorials. You take Canada and Greenland while I take Ukraine, Poland and the Baltic countries.

Jan Fabiyi's avatar

I understand Russia has 11 TIMEZONES! Is that not enough territory???

Irna Gadd's avatar

Agree completely. This idea was way beyond his capacity to understand what Greenland might offer.

Brenda Reiss's avatar

When there is lots of money to be made from shady/illegal deals you'll find Trump first in line.

John Townsend's avatar

--and pushing others out of that line!

Annette's avatar

no surprise ~ tRump is only motivated by three things: 1) money, 2) power, C) attention. When all three come into play, his insistence is that of a two-year old in a grocery store checkout line that features every candy available.

Barbara Greer's avatar

No, he's actually simpler than that. There's only two. The reason he wants power is the 1. the money and 2. the attention.

L.D.Michaels's avatar

I think your concise description comes the closest to him that I've read. Brava!

Veejer's avatar

Excellent information! Thank you. It is puzzling that DT would react to a strategic opportunity, though, which requires long term thinking - not something in evidence with that guy. Lack of infrastructure, among other things, would mean it would take decades to harvest pretty much anything in volume.

Annette's avatar

yes, he's a bipolar, schizophrenic idiot - he loves chaos and can't focus on a topic for more than 15 minutes.

Sharon P's avatar

15????? that was kind

L.D.Michaels's avatar

More like extravagant. Anything over a minute sends his brain into a tailspin nose dive.

Annette's avatar

I'm assuming 12 minutes is spent napping

Liy Egan's avatar

I always felt suspicious about Lauder. (And never liked their cosmetics much either.)

LHS's avatar

Bless the Penn student newspaper. They have been right on top of the regime's antics, demands and chaos regarding Penn from Day 1.

BabsPHL's avatar

Not sure we really need the above letter, wake me when Andy prevails over stupid, and the "breaking news" aka articles of no importance.

Penny Pawl's avatar

then why read it.

Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

THE BASTARDS! This “board” is made up of dicktators from all over the world who are banned from entering countries. Let’s make sure Trump is banned also.

Kathleen D. Pierce's avatar

Thanks for this. Lauder is an old gay guy with no hiers that I know of. The souless, bottomless greed pit of these old white white guys is mind boggling! My Dad was a idiot racist. He was 93 and still spewing crap about the POC taking over America. I would say to him, "What the fuck do you care? Dad, you're past your expiration date!" Oh, he cared already. Trying to control everything with 1 foot in the grave!🤨

ROSEMARY SCHLICK's avatar

I've been questioning the polls all day. HOw can it be that 40% of voters still support this fucking maniac? That means 40% of voters are either brain-dead or have no souls or are just criminals in their own pitiful lives. There is no other answer. He has destroyed everything. From my personal experience, he has literally and I mean literally destroyed my life. All I think of is how hideous theis country has become. Can anyone turn it off, even for a few minutes? I can't, and I am losing what is left of my health. I cry all day and all night. Where are the people who can stop him? I can't be the only one who feels hopeless and helpless. I get solace from TBR and some brilliant posts, but my despair returns every time I look around this hellhole of a country. I celebrate Minnesota, but they can't do it alone. WHERE ARE THE REAL LEADERS? By November it will be too late. I'm 84 and have lived a life fighting for truth and justice, but the buffoon with the butthole mouth is beating me into my grave. Thanks again, Andy. YOu are a warrior, but you can't do this alone.

I have to go wrap my pipes, so I'll be crying outside in Greenland, Louisiana.

Andy Borowitz's avatar

Nixon also had support (until it collapsed at the very end).

ROSEMARY SCHLICK's avatar

Thanks, Andy. I needed your words today more than ever.You are keeping what is left of my sanity.

Annette's avatar

Rosemary, don't let the idiots and crooks get you down, otherwise they've won. We will get through this, and it may take awhile to undo all the damage he's done, but 40% isn't everybody. The other 60%, I believe, are working in their own ways. Have faith!

misia.d's avatar
8hEdited

I’m with you. You can not solve for a bigger pack of whack-a-do’s. I wish I asked my friends where they would draw the line back in 2016! They seem incapable of reacting to anything. I have realized that they have to find their own way back to reality. I hope they do.

Harold Appel's avatar

Don't give up hope....I said hesitantly.

John Townsend's avatar

Trump cannot go on forever! Whatever curve in the alleged moral arc of the universe is

bound to snap karmically against him.

Thomas Collelo's avatar

I'm sure Donnie will claim "Everyone knows God is a loser, with very low ratings."

Annette's avatar

"I hate fathers that let their sons get crucified and hung on a cross (just like the one my wife, Melanoma, wears around her neck and in her new hit movie, Melanoma)."

John Townsend's avatar

Well, that's the truth in the White House!

Suzanne Fausser's avatar

Well he did say he just wanted a piece of ice….

Wonder if mar a lago could become an igloo?

fred schwartz's avatar

Pumpkin says "this is proof global warming is a hoax."

Susan Fernbach's avatar

Tsk. As with everything else, the Big Orange is painfully behind the times. “Global warming” is sooo last century. It’s “climate change” now, which makes the snow more relevant. Poor pumpkin. So stuck in the 20th century

Jim Gulick's avatar

This sudden deep freeze is the result of a weakened polar vortex, which is not inconsistent with climate change/ global warming.

fred schwartz's avatar

You're no fun. Make a joke, not irrelevant facts.

Annette's avatar

although facts are always appreciated here, because there are so few in the news!