75 Comments
User's avatar
Scott Helmers's avatar

There used to be a phrase, "Would you buy a used car from that person?" I think of that whenever Secretary or War Crimes Hegseth is on TV. Everything in his appearance and manner screams duplicity!

Felice Lynley's avatar

Not sure if he is smart enough for duplicity!!

Jan Fabiyi's avatar

He’s only smart enough for monoplicity. Maybe not even that.

Clym Yeobright's avatar

Would you take a three-hour tour on a boat on which Hegseth was mate?

Felice Lynley's avatar

Ignorance & stupidity!!!

SoulLady's avatar

He has always struck me as the perfect used car salesman...

LiverpoolFCfan's avatar

I have always said that if Trump hadn't been born to a rich family, he'd now be just a used-car salesman in Queens.

Vicki Bacal's avatar

That's an insult to used-car salesmen everywhere. Pete would be fired on day one for lying, stupidity, & incompetence.

Susan Kice's avatar

Screams, Wannabe!

Stephen Brady's avatar

Despite moving into the Pentagon, he is nothing but a over hyped Faux Snooze host who couldn't find the seat of his pants with both hands.

misia.d's avatar

I support miming the White House. The Cabinet shall be supplied with branded, though ill-fitting, white gloves. Could the opening compliment routine possibly be streamed?

Clym Yeobright's avatar

Unless … Iran has mime-sweepers

nacreplus2's avatar

That would be a feature, not a bug.

Irna Gadd's avatar

🤣🤣🤣 Clym - A perfect response!

David's avatar

White gloves? Great idea. They'll look like the Disney cartoon characters they resemble!

Lorenzo's avatar

Did he just say that it costs money to kill people? You wouldn't need to ban the microphones if you just banned him.

Phil Ellerin's avatar

My comments on Hegseth and his banning microphones will be written in invisible ink……

………………

……………..

………………!!!

Frank D Repp's avatar

He didn't sound like an idiot,he WAS an idiot.

Kathy's avatar

… IS an idiot

Frank D Repp's avatar

Picky,picky,picky.

Clym Yeobright's avatar

Ummm … you’re sounding like a rabid anti-idiotite, Frank. They’re people just like us; they came here seeking a better life. Next you’ll be saying they should have their own schools!

Felice Lynley's avatar

His vocabulary is preschool level. And he used to work for FOX! What does that tell us about FOX viewers?

Jan Fabiyi's avatar

Everything you need to know.

Lisa K. Fitzpatrick, MD's avatar

Andy this is absolutely hilarious. I laughed out loud! Thank you. This stuff kinda writes itself doesn't it? Hard to tell the truth from fiction.

AVee. (Alexia)'s avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Excerpt:

“After expelling all sound-capturing equipment from the Pentagon media room, Hegseth proceeded to conduct an hourlong briefing entirely in mime.”

🤣🤣🤣🤣

You saved the day

Glenn Ebo Perry's avatar

What a blessed relief, to exchange the loud hype

For the manly techniques

Of the strong silent type.

The Pentagon make-up room, changed overnight,

Would still have lots of face paint,

And all of it white.

No more right-wing word salads

Like those heard at Fox,

But a classical mime: The Invisible Box!

With little black britches, so tight that they hurt, and a cunning beret,

And a nicely striped shirt,

Pete could pantomime all the stuff folks need to know,

Without saying a word,

Just like Marcel Marceau.

It is hard to mime bombings,

Without any sound,

Or over a hundred dead girls on the ground.

Though their tragical deaths were

Horrifically violent,

In the spirit of mime , they are now deadly silent.

Then the somber mood brightens

To comic relief,

As a they strike up the brass

To play “Hail to the Chief”.

It’s that murderous dotard,

That cancerous lump,

The half-rotted corpse

That we call Donald Trump,

He once more shambles forth

With a fabric of lies,

Never kind, never humble,

Not thoughtful nor wise.

We all pray for the day

When sweet silence returns:

It means Trump is in Hell,

Where the very air burns.

And Pete Hegseth’s in Hell:

The last mime that he played

Is the one where a sinner is silently Flayed.

Golden Rule's avatar

Bravo. Excellent poem. You have a talent.

Glenn Ebo Perry's avatar

I like your handle, G.R.

Glenn Ebo Perry's avatar

Love “Windy”. Ditto, “Cherish”.

Clym Yeobright's avatar

Stormy eyes that flash at the sound of lies … makes one long for the Hungry I and the Purple Onion … and Carol Doda lol

Clym Yeobright's avatar

The Sound of Silence screeches

Maureen's avatar

Thank Heavens he did that, he makes my ears bleed. 🩸

Clym Yeobright's avatar

You have to nod your head vigorously and approvingly. If he thinks you are unconvinced by his rhetoric, he just shouts louder

Marge Campbell's avatar

Saves us the trouble of muting him. Can't complain about that. Now if he'd just get rid of the cameras...

Paula Titon's avatar

Best of all: get rid of him! Unqualified for his job!

David Toth and Fran Newton's avatar

I’ve overcome my fear of public speaking by watching Hegseth.

JerryBier's avatar

In the press briefing following his ban on microphones, he mimed a claim that this will save the government at least $1 billion a week so we can absolutely afford Trump’s war in Iran. Cuba should be worried too now that we don’t have to go through those tight-asses in Congress for funding.

Clym Yeobright's avatar

Sure is lucky Elon saved us that two trillion dollars just last year

Phil M.'s avatar

His mime has got to be an improvement over his rhymes.

Hugh Abramson's avatar

Smooth move on Pete's part. And here you thought he was stupid.

Kathy Minicozzi's avatar

Maybe every person who is liable to be elected or appointed to a government post should have to pass an IQ test first.