I am keeping my sanity through your brilliant humor to keep from descending into despair over this incompetent AND therefore dangerous presidency with its threats to democracy. Keep the Report coming!
I have 2 friends who are drag queens in show bars. One said to me “Vance needs someone who’s a makeup pro to show him HOW to properly apply mascara and eye liner.”
The same pros should show Dementia Donnie how to match makeup to skin tone and how to apply it. It's obvious he hasn't the slightest idea. I hope your friends are okay.
Michael, you don't think that the topic of signing military commissions was relevant to the occasion?
'When I have a general, and I have to sign for a general — because we have beautiful paper. They’re gorgeous paper. I said, throw a little more gold on it. They deserve it. Give me — I want the “A” paper, not the “D” paper. We used to sign a piece of garbage! I said, this man’s going to be a general, right? I don’t want to use this. I want to use the big, beautiful, firm paper. I want to use the real gold writing when you talk about the position, and they’re beautiful.'
What should one expect from a person who renames a major cabinet department after a major stock market index -- and believes that "pentagon" is his secret code word to shout every time he cannot find his Sharpie 🤔
After they watched their Commander-in-Thief… uh, Chief today, I think these dedicated officers, admirals, generals… will be advising and commanding their forces to not follow an unlawful order.
That would be nice, however, if they had any backbone, they would have refused to attend this stupid meeting, so I don't hold out a lot of hope for your prediction.
Unfortunately, as commander in thief, they know the bloviated orangutan would have had them all court martialed and taken their pensions. He's hateful like that!
I am sure many of them are thinking that. Imagine being a decorated hero/general and forced to fly halfway around the world to be told by a half-wit and a drunk that you’re fat.
Hegseth is a loudmouthed coward. Trump is a pitiful, mentally ill reject. The military men see this, know it, understand it.
Military leaders know the difference between discipline and utter indiscipline. They know the evils that indiscipline brings.
They know real strength and actual weakness.
My humble opinion is that this girlie show or peep show featuring Brandi Pete and Donna Diva Trumpstein stripping down to their jock straps, was intended to plant seeds of doubt in our minds, doubt of the military.
I think Petey Kegsbreath, secretary of wart, is secretly conflicted on his manliness, hence his violent insistence on manliness. As for grandpa tRump, his hairstylist has gotten lazier, as a large swath of clammy white skin was visible on the left side of his head. But seriously, I digress on appearances. Its more the BS word salad he spewed, for over an hour, that demands the immediate use of the 25th amendment. The whole show looked like satire on government . . . but its reality. God save us all.
The look on these warrior patriots faces of disgust says it all. They know they swore an oath to the Constitution and not to a bone spur in a ball room.
Every time I posted this as a comment, it disappeared from this site, can you help fix this?
I saw some of their faces enlarged in a photo yesterday. They looked disgusted 🤮 being told to participate in an illegal “war”against innocent Americans meant to make daddy dumpy pants look tough following putain’s marching orders.
Highly unlikely. Alcohol addiction is not something that's just "given up" on a whim. There are always underlying reasons for excessive consumption: a problem they're trying to solve, BUT there's just NOT enough alcohol on the planet to solve it. Quitting is extremely difficult.
Agree. I have worked with alcoholics and been involved in interventions. Hegseth exhibits all the classic signs: always angry-looking and blaming others; he's in over his head professionally---and he knows it. But his self-absorption and thirst for Trump approval has replaced his ability to think critically. And that fact alone points to his incompetence which makes him dangerous.
but he thinks he puts on a good show, what with all his Fox News Host experience . . . that he didn't do a "you get a copy of my book . . . and YOU get a copy of my book" shocked me
Are you kidding? He still acts like a drunken rage-aholic in any case, so it might not make any difference… (How different our world might have been if Donald and Pete had sought therapy and healing from the traumas of their respective youths…)
drinker. i’m sure there are AA meetings at the pentagon. should attend one. his christian prayer meetings is an affront to all the other religions represented at the pentagon
Former Joint Chief Mark Milley nailed it. Sadly, no laughs there...
General Mark Milley
You are using the military to create fear in the minds of the people—and we are trying to protect the American people. I cannot stand idly by and participate in that attack, verbally or otherwise, on the American people. The American people trust their military and they trust us to protect them against all enemies, foreign and domestic, and our military will do just that. We will not turn our back on the American people.
I swore an oath to the Constitution of the United States and embodied within that Constitution is the idea that says that all men and women are created equal. All men and women are created equal, no matter who you are, whether you are white or Black, Asian, Indian, no matter the color of your skin, no matter if you’re gay, straight or something in between. It doesn’t matter if you’re Catholic, Protestant, Muslim, Jew, or choose not to believe. None of that matters. It doesn’t matter what country you came from, what your last name is—what matters is we’re Americans. We’re all Americans. That under these colors of red, white, and blue—the colors that my parents fought for in World War II—means something around the world. It’s obvious to me that you don’t think of those colors the same way I do. It’s obvious to me that you don’t hold those values dear and the cause that I serve.
And lastly it is my deeply held belief that you’re ruining the international order, and causing significant damage to our country overseas, that was fought for so hard by the Greatest Generation that they instituted in 1945. Between 1914 and 1945, 150 million people were slaughtered in the conduct of war. They were slaughtered because of tyrannies and dictatorships. You don’t understand what the war was all about. In fact, you subscribe to many of the principles that we fought against. And I cannot be a party to that.
He's right about the foundations on which America is built. And he's right about Americans trusting our military to protect us. I hope that he is also right that they will protect us from insanity at the highest level. That's never been tested, but it's going to be.
I wish he had not spoken of how many people were slaughtered between 1914-1945 - that's a statistic that I fear Dump and Hogsbreath would be proud to beat.
With.a visionary like Andy.dealing the cards...nothing but aces & eights in the the " defenseless Secretary's " future ! Weep for the old sot...??? Not even an onion induced tear.!
Rothkopf said it well: hearing from a frat boy and a draft dodger is not what these folks need to hear. What a monumental insult to our military leaders!
I can imagine what those thought bubbles would say... perhaps, "Two guys who have never had mud, shit, or blood on a pair of combat boots are going to lecture ME on how to defend my country... bullshit!"
I seriously thought that photo was from an AI prompt: “big gathering of highly decorated, high-ranking military members, all pissed off and incredulous.”
In the photo, no one is looking down at a cell phone in his or her lap. Do you suppose they were all forced to turn in their cell phones at the door? No one was filming Hogsbreath or the orange turd either. Just an observation.
Watching from Canada, I find it hard to laugh this time. Flexing his presidential prerogatives and basically telling his assembled military, “Defend me against your fellow citizens or you’re fired”, declaring blue cities and the thin blue coastal line a war zone, suggesting that inner cities would make excellent military training grounds - chilling.
I'm torn between liking and hating your idea. I guess what I'm thinking is that anyone on SNL would do a better job than Petie. And yet, I'll bet he is also very thin-skinned, and would hate to have people laughing at him. The SNL audience I'm sure is smart enough to laugh him off the stage.
I know Randy's been on tour. Hopefully he'll make something soon. It's been a while. BTW, what is your favorite Randy song? For me it's a tossup between "Trump's Favorite Things" and "Very Stable Genius".
Andy, it seems like it's getting harder to find humor in what we hear, but your "spin" never fails to make me smile. It's always so perfectly on point.
I love that the stone cold silence that came from leaders who actually serve their country clearly unnerved both Trump and Hegseth.
Rumpseth knew the generals were actually listening to the treason expressed in those speeches, and that they were evaluating and judging, and finding the hysterical, ruinous admissions disturbing.
I'm also glad that even though military members are only about 2% of our population, those folks have spouses, and kids, and aunts and uncles and cousins and friends, who are going to be just as outraged by that condescending lecture and waste of their valuable time as I was.
When Commander-in-Chief Bone Spurs told them they could applaud, they should have taken that as a direct order. They ALL now deserve to be court-martialed.
I'd rather see Kegsbreath committed to an alcohol-free padded room for all eternity, taking away his pocket square as the ultimate insult. TRump should be impeached, removed, jailed on a remote island and forced to listen to NPR 24/7.
Please. Do not disparage their courage, until individuals among them have actually betrayed their oaths. Of course I do wish Andy B could have been in the back row to start the chant.
Military service members are expected to follow ONLY lawful orders, and they have a LEGAL AND ETHICAL DUTY TO DISOBEY CLEARLY UNLAWFUL ORDERS. An order that violates the U.S. Constitution, international human rights standards, or the Geneva Conventions is considered unlawful. "Service members who follow an illegal order can be held liable and court-martialed or subject to prosecution by international tribunals." (Military Times) Under both U.S. military law and international standards, service members are LEGALLY REQUIRED TO REFUSE UNLAWFUL ORDERS.
So, generals, you better quickly figure out whom you serve and to whom you owe your allegiance. WE NEED HEROES WITH STIFF SPINES. We need YOU to do the right thing by the Constitution you took an oath to defend and for OUR country, the United States of America, and We Its People.
What scares me is that Dump has been changing what is legal (anything that helps him) and what is illegal (anything that does not help him). And the SCOTUS has helped him to change who needs to follow the Law and who does not. Dump has already violated the Constitution without consequence - the more he does that, the more he'll continue to do that.
About the PGA, Dump had said that pro golfers should sell out because everyone always sells out in the end because money is more important than morals. I thought he was wrong. But, then they held strong for a short time, and then they sold out. So, if Dump threatens to punish any military who follow their oath, and to reward any military who blindly follow him instead, I fear what shall happen. Who will prosecute any criminals? Look at the rioters who tried to overthrow our government, damaged property, and even harmed and killed some people - now all pardoned and some of them forming a private army loyal only to Dump. How many real soldiers will join them rather than risk punishment for being honest patriots?
Just because EVERY Constitutional and Legal scholar has said that there is no case against Comey and the charges are going to be thrown out, does not mean that Comey will not be found guilty and sent to prison by people who don't want to be jailed themselves for not giving Dump the outcome he desires.
Dump ignores the SCOTUS when he doesn't like their decision, but insists that the rest of us follow their rulings - and they accept that.
I am scared, Floofie Snapz Back. I no longer know who will stand strong to protect America. I hope that there remain enough people that we can get through another 3 YEARS of this.
So many excellent points that you made here, Marmo! But swhew! Dang heavy stuff to contemplate. Ok, ok, here’s what I think:
Maybe I’m a dreamer, but I have to believe that there’s evidence aplenty that more & more Repubs are switching back from being tRUMP-voting Repugnicants to Republicans again. They see what he’s doing and don’t like it. Adam Kinzinger, TX Repub, even switched to Independent status, albeit reluctantly. His substack columns are very worth reading, and comments from Repubs echo Kinzinger’s discontent with his ex-party. Many Repub farmers are furious with Dump—they get that Dump sold them a bill of goods, duped them and so very many others to get the votes, and then betrayed them. If you check out Instagram you’ll find many Repubs raging against the tRUMP machine. And many other Repubs are speaking out against tRUMP in many other ways.
Is it enough? Maybe not quite yet. But it IS growing and growing…
Sure, there are still a formidable percentage of diehard MAGAs clinging onto tRUMP like dingleberries on his saggy fat 80 yo butt, and they’ll have to be reckoned with, I know. But within that bunch there are many factions. As for some MAGAs … they may be a lost cause. They see tRUMP for who he is, what he is, what he stands for, what he’s doing—and they like it. Nuff said about them.
Those MAGAs that may be most amenable to opening their eyes and seeing the reality of this ugly transformation of our country into a fascist police state are those who are brainwashed, merely ignorant and/or stupid. These problems can be countered with welcoming hugs, understanding, patience and forgiveness. Let’s end the hate and unite!!! If it were somehow made clear to them that in a police state they, too, will be monitored, living in constant fear, in danger of being sent to a work camp, prison, or Sudan if they violate some new law, and that this new reality will neither benefit them NOR EVERYBODY ELSE, maybe then they'll be willing to join with others who oppose it.
So if we’re able to get disaffected Repubs PLUS some percentage of MAGAs to stand WITH US and against this transmogrification of the USA into a dystopian Nazi nightmare, then—and this is KEY—WE, a united majority, can fight back TOGETHER and save our country. This includes the majority of the military, all branches. Not kumbaya-ing here—just stating the reality. We need each other to save our nation from this existential evil.
So don’t be scared, Marmo! I absolutely believe that the majority of military personnel know to whom they owe their allegiance, and it’s NOT to the corrupt madman running the shit show and making a power grab to become Dick Tater of a cowed and oppressed nation—like Kim Jong Un is. When called upon—WHEN THEY SEE THAT THE MAJORITY ARE STANDING UP AGAINST THIS, TOO—they absolutely will stand strong to protect America.
BTW: Kinzinger was on the CNN show "Have I Got News For You" (Saturday at 9:00 p.m. - I recommend it) and he said that in private, most Repubs do not support Dump and say that we only need to get through another 3.5 years and then the crazy will end. But, none of them are willing to stand against Dump now - none of them are willing to vote against whatever Dump asks for. They are not MAGAs - they are decent Republicans - but they will vote MAGA because they're scared of Dump.
I also agree that MOST Americans have turned against Dump and will not vote for him or his minions a THIRD🙄 time. But, that only matters if our elections are open and fair - if all votes are permitted and counted. Dump is working hard to make sure that doesn't happen, and the SCOTUS is helping him.
I heard Amy Coney Barrett interviewed on "CBS Sunday Morning" (ACB is hawking a book) and she REFUSED to say tht the SCOTUS would uphold a two term limit. She was asked several times how she would vote, and she would only say that FDR had more than two terms.
I agree that the People will vote against Dump. I trust that Military leaders will do the right thing (if Dump doesn't replace them with FAUXNEWS hosts). But, will our legislators let Dump change the laws to prevent justice and to support corruption, as long as they remain safe?
There's a great Dem candidate running to replace Susan I'm-Very-Concerned Collins in Maine. I heard that he's currently polling at 12 points ahead of her. But, even if a great majority vote for him, will he win?
And if Dems take over the Senate and the House (🙏), and then none of Dump's evil plans get any support, will that stop Dump from executing his evil plans anyway? Right now Dump appears to be ignoring every decision that is not his and I've yet to see any consequence except for those who try to stop him.
I know that I sound negative - and I am scared. But, I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP HOPE. I believe in America. I think we'll survive - I just wish I knew how.
tRUMP must be removed from office now -- and Vance, Bondi, Hegseth, and all other tRUMP appointees since he TOOK (and I mean that you should read that as STOLE) office.
Why can he be removed? Because he attained the presidency fraudulently and illegitimately -- he cheated his way into office. This is a FACT and not some idiotic ranting & raving as tRUMP did when he lost to Biden in 2020. tRUMP and Musk publicly gloated -- on camera -- that Musk got tRUMP the 2024 win by hacking. Also employed to cheat tRUMP into office were vote sabotaging and voter suppression -- such as bomb threats and other intimidation to keep Dem voters from the polls, deleting legitimate voters from voter rolls or refusing the legitimacy of their IDs at the polls, and discarding paper ballots (as well as the good old standby: gerrymandering). Many instances of these forms of vote sabotaging and voter suppression have made the news. E.g., 100s of paper ballots were discovered tossed into a dumpster.
All & all, tRUMP did NOT have enough legitimate votes to win -- it's estimated that Harris actually did have the votes to win by several million (est. 3.5 mil - 7 mil more than tRUMP). Probative evidence to support these allegations has been collected and continues to be collected (as far as I know), and forensic audits and investigations (re exactly what did happen and how many votes did tRUMP actually get and how many votes were sabotaged or suppressed) are being conducted, though still ongoing.
However, these forensic audits and investigation are NOT happening in every state -- only in some. We all should investigate whether or not they are being conducted in each state, and pester & nag the governors and reps in states where they're not being conducted to ensure that one is conducted NOW.
Is there a statute of limitations regarding how much time is allowed to bring an allegation that a "president" who cheated his way into office did actually do exactly that, and only attained the election win via fraudulent means? I don't know. I'd assume, if there is one, that the clock begins ticking when sufficient and clear evidence is obtained. Usually the clock starts at discovery of a wrongdoing. Until that time, all we can say is, "Dunno... yet."
Let's suppose the results of forensic audits / investigations into the legitimacy of tRUMP winning this election PROVE that he did NOT win... Well then, throw the pretender out!!!
Which countries -- besides Russia... and now here -- have tolerated someone remaining in office who cheated his way in? Will we remain cowed or step up and kick the fucker out???!!!
This is the only way I know of to end this whole shit show -- not just rid of tRUMP, but all of his cohort, his minions, his kowtowing sycophants, his ass-kissing yes men, all of his myrmidons who are "just following orders."
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH RIGHT NOW!!! No more rigged elections! Not 3.5 more years of this ratfuckery and madhouse!!! NO TO FASCISM!!!
All of these things are disturbing, maddening and saddening. I'm so upset and angered by those Repubs who don't support tRUMP, but won't take a stand against him because they're so scared. My hope here is that if they see enough folks gathered together -- millions & millions of us -- to oppose this hateful, unlawful horror, that they'll take heart and find the courage to join in.
ACB -- what a craven POS, though not shocking.
See the rest of what I think in my further diatribe here...
Yeah, that's a problem alrighty. It may require putting some effort in on the part of any and all servicemen to read up on that. Worse, it may require that they have that stiff backbone + a pair of big clanking balls to refuse to follow unlawful orders. This puts the responsibility directly on them to inform themselves and follow the laws once informed. In this topsy-turvy mad world ya gotta keep your conscience and courage in good working order. You cannot rely on others to shoulder that burden for you.
Not sure that the military needs lectures from a makeup-wearing TV host and a senile draft-dodger
I am keeping my sanity through your brilliant humor to keep from descending into despair over this incompetent AND therefore dangerous presidency with its threats to democracy. Keep the Report coming!
Epstein, the cursed escalator AND mascara runs -- a three-fer!
I have 2 friends who are drag queens in show bars. One said to me “Vance needs someone who’s a makeup pro to show him HOW to properly apply mascara and eye liner.”
😂😂😂👍
Vance needs someone to show him how to do a lot of things! First up:
How to tell the truth and be a decent human being!
Only the pros know make up.
The Orange one does not.
And, should not folk who are driven by image and appearance have better advisors\staff\handlers that should know better.
You know they are reading the negative reviews.
Best to your friends.
We all need humanity and all of it.
The same pros should show Dementia Donnie how to match makeup to skin tone and how to apply it. It's obvious he hasn't the slightest idea. I hope your friends are okay.
All they needed to make it complete were sharks, batteries and windmills.
Michael, you don't think that the topic of signing military commissions was relevant to the occasion?
'When I have a general, and I have to sign for a general — because we have beautiful paper. They’re gorgeous paper. I said, throw a little more gold on it. They deserve it. Give me — I want the “A” paper, not the “D” paper. We used to sign a piece of garbage! I said, this man’s going to be a general, right? I don’t want to use this. I want to use the big, beautiful, firm paper. I want to use the real gold writing when you talk about the position, and they’re beautiful.'
May the courts fold the executive orders in to airplanes, sail them into
the deep nothingness!
I saw clips of that meeting. The man is beyond demented.
Waaaaay beyond.
Is there such a thing as a double trifecta?
Sure, why not?
How's Freedonia these days?
Strong windmills to blow them off the stage!
I LOVE this Michael.
When Kegseth announced the "new look" command I wondered if that included being issued pots of makeup and hairspray.
My thoughts exactly! So grateful for Andy's clever humor in a time of such disturbing events.
Yes!!!
I would like to second that emotion
ANDY, PLAIN OLD Fashioned THANK YOU for YOUR POSTS!
Literally laugh outloud funny. Thank you Andy.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
(Yet only one trifecta.)
What should one expect from a person who renames a major cabinet department after a major stock market index -- and believes that "pentagon" is his secret code word to shout every time he cannot find his Sharpie 🤔
After they watched their Commander-in-Thief… uh, Chief today, I think these dedicated officers, admirals, generals… will be advising and commanding their forces to not follow an unlawful order.
That would be nice, however, if they had any backbone, they would have refused to attend this stupid meeting, so I don't hold out a lot of hope for your prediction.
They couldn't refuse.
Unfortunately, as commander in thief, they know the bloviated orangutan would have had them all court martialed and taken their pensions. He's hateful like that!
I sincerely hope that many are now considering retirement or return to civil employment. That was some surreal sh*t there yesterday in Quantico.
I am sure many of them are thinking that. Imagine being a decorated hero/general and forced to fly halfway around the world to be told by a half-wit and a drunk that you’re fat.
One can only hope, maybe pray.....
We trust.
Oh I hope so!
Sadly, that’s just not how it works.
🤣👈‼️
BREAKING:
Trump Administration Achieves Never Before Imaginable Level of Gall
--while shoving the country into a deeper level of hell!
Well stated
Hegseth is a loudmouthed coward. Trump is a pitiful, mentally ill reject. The military men see this, know it, understand it.
Military leaders know the difference between discipline and utter indiscipline. They know the evils that indiscipline brings.
They know real strength and actual weakness.
My humble opinion is that this girlie show or peep show featuring Brandi Pete and Donna Diva Trumpstein stripping down to their jock straps, was intended to plant seeds of doubt in our minds, doubt of the military.
Don’t let the perverts win.
Down to their jockstraps? Oh, God, here come the visuals yet again!
look away, John, look away!! Find a happy mantra to chat, to take your mind off those awful images
I shall chant. "Holy, Moley, Guacamole" repeatedly. The universe will come aright and all will be well!
spiritual AND delicious, love it!
No Kidding!! Like somebody else commented, I hope the picture is real because they’re not buying it!
Hope they're not using Signal app to plan anything....
I think Petey Kegsbreath, secretary of wart, is secretly conflicted on his manliness, hence his violent insistence on manliness. As for grandpa tRump, his hairstylist has gotten lazier, as a large swath of clammy white skin was visible on the left side of his head. But seriously, I digress on appearances. Its more the BS word salad he spewed, for over an hour, that demands the immediate use of the 25th amendment. The whole show looked like satire on government . . . but its reality. God save us all.
“Petey Kegsbreath,” good one.
--but, then, anything for a gigantic laugh?
assholes!!!
--flaming, sulfurous ones!
The look on these warrior patriots faces of disgust says it all. They know they swore an oath to the Constitution and not to a bone spur in a ball room.
Every time I posted this as a comment, it disappeared from this site, can you help fix this?
Not sure?!
Calm down snopes, it’s sardonic humor, satire, not supposed to be serious.
You got me again! I wanted this to be true.
Me Too!!!!
Got me, too!!
Me too!
Me, too.
Susanne, it is true. Andy says so.
…and if they weren’t chanting it they were thinking it.
I saw some of their faces enlarged in a photo yesterday. They looked disgusted 🤮 being told to participate in an illegal “war”against innocent Americans meant to make daddy dumpy pants look tough following putain’s marching orders.
“Putain” - excellent!
Bien fait!
Me, too! Was all excited for a nanosecond. Sob…
Oh me too!!
So sad that it isn't!
--along with a fusillade......
Please!!!
wonder if he really ever gave up drinking
Nope
I'm afraid I'm drinking more. 🙄
Yes, I try to drink at least once a day.
😂
Hang in there!
Highly unlikely. Alcohol addiction is not something that's just "given up" on a whim. There are always underlying reasons for excessive consumption: a problem they're trying to solve, BUT there's just NOT enough alcohol on the planet to solve it. Quitting is extremely difficult.
For Hesgeth it’s easy to quit drinking, I bet he does it every time he wakes up after a blackout drunken binge.
<appreciative applause>
I doubt it. He was clearly exhibiting alcoholic behavior. Almost impossible to stop without serious help.
Agree. I have worked with alcoholics and been involved in interventions. Hegseth exhibits all the classic signs: always angry-looking and blaming others; he's in over his head professionally---and he knows it. But his self-absorption and thirst for Trump approval has replaced his ability to think critically. And that fact alone points to his incompetence which makes him dangerous.
I seriously doubt that he was *ever* able to "think critically"!!!
So much of this applies to all his appointees whether they drink or not. They've all got some addiction going on.
--a Trump Orange Crush addiction!
It’s a Cult.
And then there is the Orange Mafioso Wannabe himself….
I've heard he's invited Ted Cruz to his office to teach him how to speak mob boss. "Nice place you got here, shame if something happened to it."
but he thinks he puts on a good show, what with all his Fox News Host experience . . . that he didn't do a "you get a copy of my book . . . and YOU get a copy of my book" shocked me
And there's nothing more unhinged than "dry drunk."
Assuming that he si a dry drunk and not swimming in the stuff.
--and who knows what else he is on.....
Guessing Coke Not A Cola
He always has a bottle with him . 🤔. I don’t think it’s ginger ale .
There's always the old bottle in front of me vs. a frontal lobotomy choice.
The frontal lobotomy follows the bottle in fronta me. Takes awhile but it's a slow, sure thing.
Would anyone notice the difference? Could be both.
Oh Al, you stole my reply! 😂. Good one!
Good show!
I vote that Kegsbreath qualifies for both.
That’s a hoot! Great name!
I can't take credit for it, although I've also referred to him as Hogsbreath. He deserves both monikers.
Are you kidding? He still acts like a drunken rage-aholic in any case, so it might not make any difference… (How different our world might have been if Donald and Pete had sought therapy and healing from the traumas of their respective youths…)
Ah! If only we were in that alternate universe!
No, he just gave up thinking!
I seriously doubt it.
lougee, with a name like Pete Hogshead, what do you think?
drinker. i’m sure there are AA meetings at the pentagon. should attend one. his christian prayer meetings is an affront to all the other religions represented at the pentagon
Set that to music and you'll have a hit.
Add drums and Bible-thumping!
You took the words out of my mouth!
Agree 100%
I doubt it! It would make looking in the mirror even more unbearable! Odious creature! UGH
On a separate note, I have friends who are
Not a chance.
Wonder no more. The answer is "No, he hasn't"
I thought Congress should have insisted on him wearing an alcohol monitor, because his word means nothing.
Former Joint Chief Mark Milley nailed it. Sadly, no laughs there...
General Mark Milley
You are using the military to create fear in the minds of the people—and we are trying to protect the American people. I cannot stand idly by and participate in that attack, verbally or otherwise, on the American people. The American people trust their military and they trust us to protect them against all enemies, foreign and domestic, and our military will do just that. We will not turn our back on the American people.
I swore an oath to the Constitution of the United States and embodied within that Constitution is the idea that says that all men and women are created equal. All men and women are created equal, no matter who you are, whether you are white or Black, Asian, Indian, no matter the color of your skin, no matter if you’re gay, straight or something in between. It doesn’t matter if you’re Catholic, Protestant, Muslim, Jew, or choose not to believe. None of that matters. It doesn’t matter what country you came from, what your last name is—what matters is we’re Americans. We’re all Americans. That under these colors of red, white, and blue—the colors that my parents fought for in World War II—means something around the world. It’s obvious to me that you don’t think of those colors the same way I do. It’s obvious to me that you don’t hold those values dear and the cause that I serve.
And lastly it is my deeply held belief that you’re ruining the international order, and causing significant damage to our country overseas, that was fought for so hard by the Greatest Generation that they instituted in 1945. Between 1914 and 1945, 150 million people were slaughtered in the conduct of war. They were slaughtered because of tyrannies and dictatorships. You don’t understand what the war was all about. In fact, you subscribe to many of the principles that we fought against. And I cannot be a party to that.
Wow. Amen. General Milley.
Good for General Milley.
He's right about the foundations on which America is built. And he's right about Americans trusting our military to protect us. I hope that he is also right that they will protect us from insanity at the highest level. That's never been tested, but it's going to be.
I wish he had not spoken of how many people were slaughtered between 1914-1945 - that's a statistic that I fear Dump and Hogsbreath would be proud to beat.
Well spoken,Mario .
BRAVA !
Bless General Mark Milley!!
1000% 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
Thank you. I'll look for this and send it on.
Elect him president!
Makes me cry, a true patriot; we need more like him.
That, ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between, is a REAL American.
How much do I wish this satire was reality?
Everything Andy writes is the truth!
With.a visionary like Andy.dealing the cards...nothing but aces & eights in the the " defenseless Secretary's " future ! Weep for the old sot...??? Not even an onion induced tear.!
What ninnies. Can you imagine the thought bubbles above these serious, battle-tested soldiers' heads?
Rothkopf said it well: hearing from a frat boy and a draft dodger is not what these folks need to hear. What a monumental insult to our military leaders!
--from monumental idiots!
Perhaps Andy can do a "thought bubble contest"!
YES!
I can imagine what those thought bubbles would say... perhaps, "Two guys who have never had mud, shit, or blood on a pair of combat boots are going to lecture ME on how to defend my country... bullshit!"
Absolute truth! Well stated.
-which they imagine both Trump and Hegseth up to their pieholes!
and "as soon as I leave this room I'm submitting my retirement papers"
The military audience looked none too pleased.
I seriously thought that photo was from an AI prompt: “big gathering of highly decorated, high-ranking military members, all pissed off and incredulous.”
Well, if so, it amounted to the same thing in true reality!
What a great cartoon that would make! Somebody
call Ann.
Editorial cartoonists will definitely lose their jobs over that one! And I suspect
they will enjoy doing so!
In the photo, no one is looking down at a cell phone in his or her lap. Do you suppose they were all forced to turn in their cell phones at the door? No one was filming Hogsbreath or the orange turd either. Just an observation.
Lots of uppercase symbols above the keyboard numbers! Dark plotting clouds of menace....
oh were that so . . . that would be a great use of AI and all the other technical magic.
It's hard to laugh today. Claiming to have war games in our cities is alarming to say the least.
Thanks for trying, Andy. I love you for it
Watching from Canada, I find it hard to laugh this time. Flexing his presidential prerogatives and basically telling his assembled military, “Defend me against your fellow citizens or you’re fired”, declaring blue cities and the thin blue coastal line a war zone, suggesting that inner cities would make excellent military training grounds - chilling.
Horrifying. Ghastly. Unbelievable.
ICE age chilling!
I hope this gives SNL the idea for their season premier cold open.
Fabulous idea, just perfect. I hope SNL people read TBR! They would do a fabulous job with it.
Maybe they should have Petie be the host! He just has to repeat today's speech as his opening monologue. It will get tons of laughs.
Get Andy B to be the host !!!
<standing ovation> Yes!
--if not combat boots thrown his way!
It might get tons of laughs but it’s actually tragic.
I'm torn between liking and hating your idea. I guess what I'm thinking is that anyone on SNL would do a better job than Petie. And yet, I'll bet he is also very thin-skinned, and would hate to have people laughing at him. The SNL audience I'm sure is smart enough to laugh him off the stage.
Booed and then laughed!
Petey scorned, and unleashed in NYC, scares me
--before Trump starts to sue them!
And Trump (bone) spurred them on with a rousing chorus of "cankles away."
Would that Randy Rainbow might create a complete set of lyrics to Crankles Away! I can hear it now!!
I know Randy's been on tour. Hopefully he'll make something soon. It's been a while. BTW, what is your favorite Randy song? For me it's a tossup between "Trump's Favorite Things" and "Very Stable Genius".
--along with Hegseth's "Take One Down, Pass It Around"!
You win the Internet for the day!
and just about every day ! Thank you for your ideas!
Priceless, Howard...simply priceless!
Andy, it seems like it's getting harder to find humor in what we hear, but your "spin" never fails to make me smile. It's always so perfectly on point.
I love that the stone cold silence that came from leaders who actually serve their country clearly unnerved both Trump and Hegseth.
Rumpseth knew the generals were actually listening to the treason expressed in those speeches, and that they were evaluating and judging, and finding the hysterical, ruinous admissions disturbing.
I'm also glad that even though military members are only about 2% of our population, those folks have spouses, and kids, and aunts and uncles and cousins and friends, who are going to be just as outraged by that condescending lecture and waste of their valuable time as I was.
When Commander-in-Chief Bone Spurs told them they could applaud, they should have taken that as a direct order. They ALL now deserve to be court-martialed.
I'm going to assume that's sarcasm.
I'd rather see Hegseth fired and Trump impeached and removed.
I'd rather see Kegsbreath committed to an alcohol-free padded room for all eternity, taking away his pocket square as the ultimate insult. TRump should be impeached, removed, jailed on a remote island and forced to listen to NPR 24/7.
LOVE IT! GO, Andy Borowitz! Lynda Greer, Atlanta, GA.
If we find out what Hegseth actually said it will probably be just as funny as this.
When we find out. You can't talk to 800 people and expect them all to keep it to themselves.
It shouldn't take long for Hegseth, the leaker, to broadcast it.
on Signal no doubt
If only there was that kind of courage. They do not have to abide by unlawful orders
Please. Do not disparage their courage, until individuals among them have actually betrayed their oaths. Of course I do wish Andy B could have been in the back row to start the chant.
I don’t think they meant to disparage — but it wd be suicidal for their CAREERS.
Why shd they throw away their careers on frat boy?
He’ll be gone in time for many of them to resume more normal times … I hope.
Careers over country.
I get it.
Pensions over (real) patriotism.
BTW, the National Guard has already obeyed illegal orders…
They can’t accomplish much as ‘retired’ officers, can they?
I just don’t know how they can have a beneficial influence from within,
— ie how that can work, how they can network among themselves to ameliorate Hegseth’s toxic influence.
— if the ‘good guys’ leave the military & only inexperienced, total ‘Yes-Men’ are left … the military might be even worse off.
100%
I don't know if we can wait much longer, Jay Jay!
It might not be from fear - they have a real conflict.
I hope that when it comes down to destroying the world or disobeying a lunatic, they do the right thing then.
Amen to that! Here's my note to the Generals:
Military service members are expected to follow ONLY lawful orders, and they have a LEGAL AND ETHICAL DUTY TO DISOBEY CLEARLY UNLAWFUL ORDERS. An order that violates the U.S. Constitution, international human rights standards, or the Geneva Conventions is considered unlawful. "Service members who follow an illegal order can be held liable and court-martialed or subject to prosecution by international tribunals." (Military Times) Under both U.S. military law and international standards, service members are LEGALLY REQUIRED TO REFUSE UNLAWFUL ORDERS.
So, generals, you better quickly figure out whom you serve and to whom you owe your allegiance. WE NEED HEROES WITH STIFF SPINES. We need YOU to do the right thing by the Constitution you took an oath to defend and for OUR country, the United States of America, and We Its People.
Brava, Floofie Snapz Back.
What scares me is that Dump has been changing what is legal (anything that helps him) and what is illegal (anything that does not help him). And the SCOTUS has helped him to change who needs to follow the Law and who does not. Dump has already violated the Constitution without consequence - the more he does that, the more he'll continue to do that.
About the PGA, Dump had said that pro golfers should sell out because everyone always sells out in the end because money is more important than morals. I thought he was wrong. But, then they held strong for a short time, and then they sold out. So, if Dump threatens to punish any military who follow their oath, and to reward any military who blindly follow him instead, I fear what shall happen. Who will prosecute any criminals? Look at the rioters who tried to overthrow our government, damaged property, and even harmed and killed some people - now all pardoned and some of them forming a private army loyal only to Dump. How many real soldiers will join them rather than risk punishment for being honest patriots?
Just because EVERY Constitutional and Legal scholar has said that there is no case against Comey and the charges are going to be thrown out, does not mean that Comey will not be found guilty and sent to prison by people who don't want to be jailed themselves for not giving Dump the outcome he desires.
Dump ignores the SCOTUS when he doesn't like their decision, but insists that the rest of us follow their rulings - and they accept that.
I am scared, Floofie Snapz Back. I no longer know who will stand strong to protect America. I hope that there remain enough people that we can get through another 3 YEARS of this.
well said, Marmo!
So many excellent points that you made here, Marmo! But swhew! Dang heavy stuff to contemplate. Ok, ok, here’s what I think:
Maybe I’m a dreamer, but I have to believe that there’s evidence aplenty that more & more Repubs are switching back from being tRUMP-voting Repugnicants to Republicans again. They see what he’s doing and don’t like it. Adam Kinzinger, TX Repub, even switched to Independent status, albeit reluctantly. His substack columns are very worth reading, and comments from Repubs echo Kinzinger’s discontent with his ex-party. Many Repub farmers are furious with Dump—they get that Dump sold them a bill of goods, duped them and so very many others to get the votes, and then betrayed them. If you check out Instagram you’ll find many Repubs raging against the tRUMP machine. And many other Repubs are speaking out against tRUMP in many other ways.
Is it enough? Maybe not quite yet. But it IS growing and growing…
Sure, there are still a formidable percentage of diehard MAGAs clinging onto tRUMP like dingleberries on his saggy fat 80 yo butt, and they’ll have to be reckoned with, I know. But within that bunch there are many factions. As for some MAGAs … they may be a lost cause. They see tRUMP for who he is, what he is, what he stands for, what he’s doing—and they like it. Nuff said about them.
Those MAGAs that may be most amenable to opening their eyes and seeing the reality of this ugly transformation of our country into a fascist police state are those who are brainwashed, merely ignorant and/or stupid. These problems can be countered with welcoming hugs, understanding, patience and forgiveness. Let’s end the hate and unite!!! If it were somehow made clear to them that in a police state they, too, will be monitored, living in constant fear, in danger of being sent to a work camp, prison, or Sudan if they violate some new law, and that this new reality will neither benefit them NOR EVERYBODY ELSE, maybe then they'll be willing to join with others who oppose it.
So if we’re able to get disaffected Repubs PLUS some percentage of MAGAs to stand WITH US and against this transmogrification of the USA into a dystopian Nazi nightmare, then—and this is KEY—WE, a united majority, can fight back TOGETHER and save our country. This includes the majority of the military, all branches. Not kumbaya-ing here—just stating the reality. We need each other to save our nation from this existential evil.
So don’t be scared, Marmo! I absolutely believe that the majority of military personnel know to whom they owe their allegiance, and it’s NOT to the corrupt madman running the shit show and making a power grab to become Dick Tater of a cowed and oppressed nation—like Kim Jong Un is. When called upon—WHEN THEY SEE THAT THE MAJORITY ARE STANDING UP AGAINST THIS, TOO—they absolutely will stand strong to protect America.
I agree with all you say, Floofie Snapz Back.
BTW: Kinzinger was on the CNN show "Have I Got News For You" (Saturday at 9:00 p.m. - I recommend it) and he said that in private, most Repubs do not support Dump and say that we only need to get through another 3.5 years and then the crazy will end. But, none of them are willing to stand against Dump now - none of them are willing to vote against whatever Dump asks for. They are not MAGAs - they are decent Republicans - but they will vote MAGA because they're scared of Dump.
I also agree that MOST Americans have turned against Dump and will not vote for him or his minions a THIRD🙄 time. But, that only matters if our elections are open and fair - if all votes are permitted and counted. Dump is working hard to make sure that doesn't happen, and the SCOTUS is helping him.
I heard Amy Coney Barrett interviewed on "CBS Sunday Morning" (ACB is hawking a book) and she REFUSED to say tht the SCOTUS would uphold a two term limit. She was asked several times how she would vote, and she would only say that FDR had more than two terms.
I agree that the People will vote against Dump. I trust that Military leaders will do the right thing (if Dump doesn't replace them with FAUXNEWS hosts). But, will our legislators let Dump change the laws to prevent justice and to support corruption, as long as they remain safe?
There's a great Dem candidate running to replace Susan I'm-Very-Concerned Collins in Maine. I heard that he's currently polling at 12 points ahead of her. But, even if a great majority vote for him, will he win?
And if Dems take over the Senate and the House (🙏), and then none of Dump's evil plans get any support, will that stop Dump from executing his evil plans anyway? Right now Dump appears to be ignoring every decision that is not his and I've yet to see any consequence except for those who try to stop him.
I know that I sound negative - and I am scared. But, I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP HOPE. I believe in America. I think we'll survive - I just wish I knew how.
Here's how:
tRUMP must be removed from office now -- and Vance, Bondi, Hegseth, and all other tRUMP appointees since he TOOK (and I mean that you should read that as STOLE) office.
Why can he be removed? Because he attained the presidency fraudulently and illegitimately -- he cheated his way into office. This is a FACT and not some idiotic ranting & raving as tRUMP did when he lost to Biden in 2020. tRUMP and Musk publicly gloated -- on camera -- that Musk got tRUMP the 2024 win by hacking. Also employed to cheat tRUMP into office were vote sabotaging and voter suppression -- such as bomb threats and other intimidation to keep Dem voters from the polls, deleting legitimate voters from voter rolls or refusing the legitimacy of their IDs at the polls, and discarding paper ballots (as well as the good old standby: gerrymandering). Many instances of these forms of vote sabotaging and voter suppression have made the news. E.g., 100s of paper ballots were discovered tossed into a dumpster.
All & all, tRUMP did NOT have enough legitimate votes to win -- it's estimated that Harris actually did have the votes to win by several million (est. 3.5 mil - 7 mil more than tRUMP). Probative evidence to support these allegations has been collected and continues to be collected (as far as I know), and forensic audits and investigations (re exactly what did happen and how many votes did tRUMP actually get and how many votes were sabotaged or suppressed) are being conducted, though still ongoing.
However, these forensic audits and investigation are NOT happening in every state -- only in some. We all should investigate whether or not they are being conducted in each state, and pester & nag the governors and reps in states where they're not being conducted to ensure that one is conducted NOW.
Is there a statute of limitations regarding how much time is allowed to bring an allegation that a "president" who cheated his way into office did actually do exactly that, and only attained the election win via fraudulent means? I don't know. I'd assume, if there is one, that the clock begins ticking when sufficient and clear evidence is obtained. Usually the clock starts at discovery of a wrongdoing. Until that time, all we can say is, "Dunno... yet."
Let's suppose the results of forensic audits / investigations into the legitimacy of tRUMP winning this election PROVE that he did NOT win... Well then, throw the pretender out!!!
Which countries -- besides Russia... and now here -- have tolerated someone remaining in office who cheated his way in? Will we remain cowed or step up and kick the fucker out???!!!
This is the only way I know of to end this whole shit show -- not just rid of tRUMP, but all of his cohort, his minions, his kowtowing sycophants, his ass-kissing yes men, all of his myrmidons who are "just following orders."
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH RIGHT NOW!!! No more rigged elections! Not 3.5 more years of this ratfuckery and madhouse!!! NO TO FASCISM!!!
All of these things are disturbing, maddening and saddening. I'm so upset and angered by those Repubs who don't support tRUMP, but won't take a stand against him because they're so scared. My hope here is that if they see enough folks gathered together -- millions & millions of us -- to oppose this hateful, unlawful horror, that they'll take heart and find the courage to join in.
ACB -- what a craven POS, though not shocking.
See the rest of what I think in my further diatribe here...
Right on!
yes!!
<standing ovation>
Bit now there are no JAGs to identify unlawful orders
Yeah, that's a problem alrighty. It may require putting some effort in on the part of any and all servicemen to read up on that. Worse, it may require that they have that stiff backbone + a pair of big clanking balls to refuse to follow unlawful orders. This puts the responsibility directly on them to inform themselves and follow the laws once informed. In this topsy-turvy mad world ya gotta keep your conscience and courage in good working order. You cannot rely on others to shoulder that burden for you.
Exactly true, Floofie Snapz Back.
I still believe that we will get through this - I just don't know how.
Yes, they do b/c no one is enforcing the law that says they don’t.
Funny: Fox "News" said they were all singing "Kumbaya." Whom should I believe?
Andy's alternate facts are way better.
Faux News would describe Trump's flatus as "lavender with a hint of jasmine".
OMG! You got that right! And they'd know -- got their lips so firmly planted on the faux-king's asshole.
--or orange citrus peel!
In my dreams! Thank you Andy!
(back to drinking?)