In Major Breakthrough, Israel and Hamas Agree that Kushner is a Dick
THE MIDDLE EAST (The Borowitz Report)—In what some experts are hailing as a major breakthrough, on Monday representatives of Israel and Hamas agreed that Jared Kushner is a dick.
“We don’t agree on much, but we see eye-to-eye on one thing,” a joint communique from the two groups read. “Jared Kushner is a ginormous dick.”
In a sign of a deepening accord, the communique added that both parties “never want to talk to that asshat again.”
But even as some in diplomatic circles called the communique a step forward, others urged caution, recalling that last year both sides reached a broad agreement that JD Vance was a dick.
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Way to go, Jared—bringing people together!
Bummer for him, now put in charge of the Dickish Accord.