Iran Agrees to End War Only if There is Regime Change in U.S.
TEHRAN (The Borowitz Report)—Shortly before Donald J. Trump was set to address the American people on Wednesday night, Iran declared that it would agree to end the war only if there was regime change in the United States.
“The United States is a rogue state led by an unstable ruler,” the Iranian statement read. “Such a madman must not be allowed to possess nuclear weapons.”
The Islamic Republic’s ultimatum drew immediate and strong support from Greenland, Canada, and the rest of NATO.
At the White House, press secretary Karoline Leavitt said only that Trump was well-rested for his televised address, having spent the day sleeping at the Supreme Court.
Deal!
We the people will accept nothing less than Trump’s unconditional and immediate resignation.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.