Iran Offers Strait in Exchange for Straitjacket
TEHRAN (The Borowitz Report)—In what is being hailed as a diplomatic breakthrough, in the early hours of Tuesday the government of Iran offered the US a peace plan which insiders say trades a strait for a straitjacket.
Although details have yet to be hammered out, the Iranian proposal drew enthusiastic praise from over a hundred world leaders including France’s Emmanuel Macron and Canada’s Mark Carney, who called it “long overdue.”
As news of the offer spread around the world, spontaneous dancing broke out in the streets of such cities as London, Berlin, and Nuuk, the capital of Greenland.
According to those familiar with the offer, the Iranians revised the US peace plan and added a 25th amendment.
DEAL
I think they’d go for it! Andy, I appoint you new lead negotiator.