377 Comments
User's avatar
Andy Borowitz's avatar

OK, TBRers, fun game: who would you like to see get the chop next?

Susan Gilbert-Collins's avatar

Hegseth. Hegseth and RFK. Ooooh and Vance. It's so hard to choose! It's like Christmas!

Timothy Cooper's avatar

It's women fired so far, Tulsi is next. They don't fit into the White Christian Male-Dominated Nation

- Karen Cooper

John Townsend's avatar

I think you're on to something there!

Leslie's avatar

Interesting point🤔

kdsherpa's avatar

My first thought.

Dawna Stromsoe's avatar

The Pedoligarch’s misogynistic view is clear. Next Gabbard then Wiles. Then Senators running for reelection…except Collins: there’s plenty of ex-Blackwater money funding the lead (so far) Dino candidate aka next Fetterman.

Etel's avatar

Agreed. They should all go in one swift move.

Mary's avatar

A good cat could sweep them all off the board with one swipe.

John Townsend's avatar

--in Air Force One out over the Atlantic and speedily down......

myhoopbabies's avatar

I'm picturing lemmings...

Pam Birkenfeld's avatar

Don’t forget Miller!

lucilleduchesne@gmail.com's avatar

Actually, Miller would be the one to get deported to hell first.

Ira Ross's avatar

Or to Munich in 1932 as a bald butcher in a bloody apron waiting to chop heads.

kdsherpa's avatar

EXCEPT: it might be HIS head on the block during shitler's reign. Why Nosferatu keeps ignoring fact is beyond me.

John Townsend's avatar

--where he would even try to advise The Evil One!

KHKate's avatar

Yes! The evil puppeteer first.

Timothy Cooper's avatar

I think Trump hired women for the regime just to get the woman vote, now they are easily disposable - Karen Cooper

Gabriele C Overweg's avatar

Are you sure these are women? They look almost fake to most of us.

LiverpoolFCfan's avatar

And not replaced.

Make Rubio and Vance fill ALL of the positions till they collapse from exhaustion and confusion (and poorly-fitting shoes).

Lisa Botwinick's avatar

I'll take both! RFK first as he is killing people just like Hegseth! Did Hegseth really stop drinking?

Wis's avatar
2hEdited

If so, he's an angry, unhappy and very shaky dry drunk, white-knuckling sobriety.

John Townsend's avatar

Probably, but the effects of that and whatever else he is on, goes on forever!

Owlette's avatar

Thought the same!😂😂😂

Wis's avatar

Santa is getting many looooooong lists this year!

Robert E.'s avatar

It's Miller time, folks! And not Lite.

John Townsend's avatar

--so, Santa might just crash his sleigh into the White House and accomplish

much in one fell swoop!

Wis's avatar

A kamikaze Santa? Or, he could direct Donner, Dasher, Comet, Prancer, Vixen, Cupid and Blitzen to fly over the White House and take a dump right before dropping old fashioned, non-nuclear but very effective bombs directly over the Oval Office. Rudolph could follow up and drop leaflets telling trump what a RINO and loser and laughingstock he is (add any other words trump would hate to see himself associated with).

Maybe the leaflets should fall first, so he's alive to read them before the shit and bombs fall.

kdsherpa's avatar

Now that's an idea...

Betsy Smith's avatar

Agreed, but if there are women left (Tulsi, and Susie Wiles, maybe), they're bound to be axed before the men.

Wis's avatar

True. It's hard to feel any sympathy for them, but it's important to point out the misogyny.

Octavia Redwood's avatar

Tulsi's days are numbered, but he needs Susie Wiles like a mommy.

Veronika Grimm-Matthews's avatar

Oh, so many choices, one more deserving than the other!

kdsherpa's avatar

Throw Tulsi into the mix. I'd substitute her for just dumb.

Darlene's avatar

The sooner the better ! Hope they can all be crammed into

a single ( tiny) cell.

Paul Ehrenzeller's avatar

Fun fact, Vance is the only one Trump can’t fire. He can only be removed by death, resignation or impeachment, any of which would be fine!

Double-A's avatar
3hEdited

Embarrassment of riches here... Kegsbreath or Ka$h or Bessent or Lutnick...?

Edit: RFK, Jr. of course. Duh!

Ellen Harris's avatar

Kegsbreath 🤣😭

Kimball C Pier, Ph.D's avatar

I love the name Kegsbreath. I think you deserve all the credit for that one. What about a name for Mike Johnson?

Jerry Bier's avatar

I just put the emphasis on the JOHN part of his name, as in: JOHNson…👍

Jerry Bier's avatar

As in an outdoor toilet. They used to go to the john in the backyard.

John Townsend's avatar

Hey, wait a minute there!

Paul Ehrenzeller's avatar

Squeaker of the House is how I always refer to Mike Johnson.

Jerry Bier's avatar

He does get pretty squeaky when he has to deal with the press. 💯

Paul's avatar

Alfred E Neman.

Robert E.'s avatar

Half pint, Pip Squeek

Robert E.'s avatar

Night stand for a stein full.

Lonnise Gilley's avatar

Oh you mean Trump's Johnson, right? Little Hands Man?

John Townsend's avatar

"Four Eyes, Two Bits?"

"Louisiana Lapse-Brain"?

"Bayou Boot-Licker"?

Kimball C Pier, Ph.D's avatar

I like Bayou Boot-licker.

BARBARA Sammeth's avatar

Ooooh .. forgot about the dancing queen KASH 👀

Kimball C Pier, Ph.D's avatar

If all my dreams came true, it would be the entire herd of turds and the entire dung wagon of an administration

Steve Beckwith's avatar

LOL. It's pretty obvious your dissertation was scatological in nature.

Kimball C Pier, Ph.D's avatar

I had to look up the definition of scatalogical which means that I’m not that smart I guess. I can’t help it, Trump brings out my inner junior high schooler

Steve Beckwith's avatar

Your comment was completely appropriate and funny too.

Kimball C Pier, Ph.D's avatar

I feel much better now 😂

Lonnise Gilley's avatar

Herd of Turds.

Now that's herd immunity we need.

🤣

Clay Rasmussen's avatar

Dave Barry : New band name - “Herd of Turds”!

💩 🎸 💩 🥁 💩 🎺 💩 🎹

John Townsend's avatar

--to fertilize the wide western deserts!

Kimball C Pier, Ph.D's avatar

I wish Melania would march herself down to the courthouse and file for divorce on the grounds that her husband is dead and has a battery-operated penis.

Scott Bernstein's avatar

Quid Pro Ho doesn't want that pathetic, tiny thing operating by any means.......

John Townsend's avatar

--and the AAA batteries have, literally, run out of juice!

Bill Morgan's avatar

She is long gone

John's avatar

They should stuff Project 2025 into every one of Russell Vogt's orifices and roll him out of the White House like a bowling ball, followed by an all expense paid trip to CECOT for Stephen Miller.

Carolyn O'Daly's avatar

Vance...God help us if Trump croaks.

Ray's avatar

Remember Johnson is after him.

Susan Miller's avatar

But there won’t be anyone around to tell him what to do, how to think

Karrie's avatar

Steven Miller - PLEASE!!!!

Linda McCaughey's avatar

Problem is, he not an official government employee; he's an "advisor". He is paid, though; so, does that mean he can be ousted?

Lonnise Gilley's avatar

In fact, except for Civil Prosecution, that's the only way we'll get rid of him.

Cathy Wampler's avatar

Trump has long time federal employees fired for no cause, so yeah he can fire the little Nazi.

John Townsend's avatar

Won't hold my breath on that one!

Ross Bogen's avatar

The Blanched Toad (let’s clean out DOJ to start with)

Diana's avatar

How can I choose just one?

Judy Ross's avatar

Stephen Miller

Judy Robinson's avatar

To be fair, why not include all of them in one swoop, including the person who makes it happen?

Jerry Bier's avatar

My next favorite has to be Hegseth/Kegbreath. Kash should be a close second here, though.

Jeff Lazar's avatar

Stephen Miller is my choice, and the only self-hating Jewish Nazi in history.

mike's avatar

Let’s not overlook Hegseth.

Marmo's avatar
2hEdited

Jeff Lazar - Roy Cohn - Dump's guru - was a homophobic gay self-hating Jewish Nazi. He used the government to hunt Jews and gays while being both. He died of AIDS with nobody mourning for him and America thought that it could distance itself from such madness. And now there is Miller using the same tactics.

Wendy Tucker's avatar

I agree. And on the first day of Passover, as well. It would be such wonderful justice.

Allison MacKay's avatar

I was just about to say this!

Mark Epping-Jordan's avatar

Trump said that Iran doesn’t have any cards. I beg to differ. They seem to be holding a strait…

Tirzah Mason's avatar

You win the comment section! 👍

Lonnise Gilley's avatar

A Strait Flush, no?

Let's give DJT and his band of sycophantic loonies a royal flush out to sea!

BARBARA Sammeth's avatar

🤣🤩.. strait 😆

John Townsend's avatar

--and, wait for it, a "flush"?

Ronald Pust's avatar

Superb observation re hormuz.

Kathy Treftz's avatar

Hegseth. Please let it be Hegseth!!!

Lisa O'Donnell's avatar

But look who they put in Noem's spot! They will put someone just as awful as the new AG. It's not any kind of progress or improvement. And why are they only getting rid of the women? Hegseth is the worst of them all, simply because of what's at his disposal to hurt people.

Marmo's avatar
2hEdited

I agree, Lisa O'Donnell, that they will replace her with somebody just as bad (I don't think that there is worse), but a man this time. Still, she is now unprotected - watch Dump say: "Pam who? I don't know anything about that." He'll pardon her to keep her mouth shut after she's convicted, but she will now be humiliated, and she's made herself a target.

John Townsend's avatar

Pam is not at the photocopy machine, with certain files......

Marmo's avatar

Do you think she's that smart?

David Fuhs's avatar

First of many to be shamed, leave, and face possible criminal charges…

Clym Yeobright's avatar

Pammy, we hardly knew ye …

John Townsend's avatar

--and thank God for that!

Maria Russell's avatar

Definitely Steven Miller!

Carolyn O'Daly's avatar

The rats are being pushed off the ship...

Susan Stone's avatar

If all the rats are pushed overboard, there will be no-one left to man the ship. Bring in the giant iceberg…

John Townsend's avatar

--by even bigger rats!

bruce schneider's avatar

RFKJr for ruining HHS and causing needless morbidity and mortality. Also, he's just a demented asshole.

John Townsend's avatar

That's his prime qualification in the Trump administration!

Karin Perkins's avatar

Thanks Andy for turning reality back on its feet once again in this upside down world we are living in.

Double-A's avatar
3hEdited

I knew her goose was cooked as soon as the Dow-Jones fell more than 5% from 50K (recall Blondie crowing about the 50K milestone under harsh questioning at that Congressional hearing) and stayed 7--9% below that "crowning achievement" for weeks.

Live by the metric, die by the metric!!

Wis's avatar

She called the DOW up by 50,000 DOLLARS. Um... what?

Sandi Bruns's avatar

Many more need to be FIRED! Let’s invoke the Apprentice mode!

Wis's avatar

Har! Continuing with trump himself!

Emily Dexter's avatar

"She's dead. The wickedest witch there ever was is dead." (Just arbitrarily quoting The Wizard of Oz.)

M Q's avatar

I have to ask: to which wicked witch? Blondi or ICE Barbie?

Wendy Tucker's avatar

Ding dong, Pam Bondi's dead. Pammie Who? Pam Bondi, TRUE. Ding dong, the wicked Bondi's dead.

Wis's avatar

Hardly arbitrarily quoting the Wizard of Oz! Very pointedly and aptly!

John Townsend's avatar

--while Glinda warns, "Watch out, the White House may fall on you!

Darlene D. Townsend's avatar

I predicted Pam would be the first to go, but Kristi Noem swept in and took that prize. Who is next? Tulsi or Kash?

Anne N's avatar

So many choices, so little time. I think they all need to go.

P J Johnston's avatar

2 Barbies down and 2 to go!

bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

The conservative women never seem to grasp that they are all disposable.

John Townsend's avatar

--and flushable!

P J Johnston's avatar

TRUTH but shit happens!