209 Comments
User's avatar
Andy Borowitz's avatar

Trump’s Cabinet is a formidable arsenal of human repellents.

Diane Smith's avatar

Plus the in-law! eeeewwwwww (Maybe lock *him* up!)

Pradnya Sikand's avatar

Andy, Along with the Liquor Cabinet doubly formidable and repellent ! 😂The world is never going to forgive us ! Thanks for the laughter 😂It helps with the Wednesday blahs ! 😉💕

Denis Pombriant's avatar

Human? They put the A in AI!

GingerLee's avatar

I thought you were going to write excrement... I am so boring

Katherine James's avatar

There does seem to be a steep rise of citronella sales everywhere they go.

Robert Shaw's avatar

Perhaps an environmental group should designate the White House as a toxic waste site.

Annette's avatar

yes, please and thank you

Christina Johnson's avatar

What great news! Evidently tick season is going to be extreme this year. Can Luna-ticks be effective against deer ticks? Asking for a friend.

bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

Liquidity, vapidity and stupidity

Annette's avatar

the tRump tribute band, playing at a state fair near you!

bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

With special guest Rapacity!

flo chapgier's avatar

🤦‍♀️😂😂😂

Love you to bits Andy 😂🤦‍♀️💕🌿

Lorenzo's avatar

Yes, this was the best laugh yet, start to finish. Keep it coming.

Kim D's avatar

Who needs to drop regular bombs when they can just deploy the stink bombs?

Annette's avatar

between tRump and Jay Deviance, we're gonna need a lot of Febreze!

J Cheng's avatar

Speaking the truth! and making me laugh 😂 How do you do it day after day?

Al Gorythm's avatar

Iranians insist Trump open the Epstein files before any further consideration of opening the Strait of Hormuz.

It's Come To This's avatar

If they weren't such passionate anti-semites, they would have already renamed it the 'Strait of Epstein.'

Nancy Salamon's avatar

or " Trumpstein" as I believe Andy said accidentally in an interview a few months ago. Now when I have to type the word " trump", it is Trumpstein that autocorrect always inserts.

Annette's avatar

the machines know! :)

Irna Gadd's avatar

I vote for that, Al!

Shannon Kincaid's avatar

Did you read 💩🐷's "latest" "truth"? He called the Strait by its actual name first, then a line or two later, called it the Strait of Hormel! 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

It's Come To This's avatar

I don't have to check that because you really can't make shit like this up.... 🤪

Shannon Kincaid's avatar

He wrote: "I think all Americans should say a little prayer to Allah. So far their God has kept the Strait closed, but if we pray hard enough to their God, our God who is a jealous God, will get off his ass and open the Strait of Hormel. Now some people will say that this prayer request is blasphemy, and that there is only one true Christian God. But, hey our partner in this war, Israel doesn't believe in Jesus, so how could it hurt?" ...JFC

Irna Gadd's avatar

Un-effing-believable. Oh, no, wait! It’s TOTALLY believable from that man-child, who not only has no filter, he has no common sense nor knowledge base.

Marilyn Gillis's avatar

Yes his ignorance is boundless, but once again the only salient explanation for anything he says or does is his profound pathology. Doctoral candidates in psychology or psychiatry will have a field day writing their thesis on him.

Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

If our god will get off his ass? Was this a quote from scripture that I missed?

It's Come To This's avatar

File this one under "Shits and Giggles"

Mark D Olson's avatar

I've been wondering if the Isreali soldier in the picture will claim he thought he was hitting the statue of a doctor.

Clym Yeobright's avatar

Jeezus F’in Xrist

Al Keim's avatar

A Jersey chicken franchise.

Clym Yeobright's avatar

I just got a DM from Satan. He says “You can DO that?”

Annette's avatar

this is more plausible than you might imagine - our God did give us Dr. Jesus Trump

Al Keim's avatar

Once again proving our indispensable uniqueness and claim to being # 1.

Annette's avatar

<appreciative applause>

Frances López's avatar

James Hormel was gay, not "strait." He was the 1st openly gay U.S. ambassador (to Luxembourg).

It's Come To This's avatar

Given Trump's bizarre obsessions with Bette Midler, Rosie O'Donnell and windmills, you can't rule out the possibility that James Hormel -- along with Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Hannibal Lecter and Hillary Clinton -- also lives rent-free in his head. Who knew there were still rooms available to sublet there?

Shannon Kincaid's avatar

Maybe as he's losing all his marbles, there's more space available. 😈

Paul Snyderman's avatar

Maybe the Don could start a chain of these long-term residence properties. Trump's Obsessions Resorts. Slogan: You can check-in, but you'll never want to check out.

Clym Yeobright's avatar

And you can always sell it back … at a profit! Ivanka says it’s already 130% subscribed but she can get us in because we’re “good enough and smart enough and doggone it people just like” us

Annette's avatar

<snort laugh>

Clym Yeobright's avatar

It’s a memory palace, except more like the Bastille

J Cheng's avatar

there's nothing but room

Annette's avatar

I'm sure some of them are doubling up!

Shannon Kincaid's avatar

Now, *that's* bringing it back full circle! 👌🏻

Al Keim's avatar

So what is it with H? Houthis', Hezbollah, Hamas, Hormuz, Hegseth, and now hogs?

Joanne Elizabeth Schulze's avatar

Maybe he just finished a can of Hormel chili.

Clym Yeobright's avatar

Bringing out the Bunker-Buster?

Mary Gilbert's avatar

I wouldn’t put that past this failure of a president who is averse to healthy food

Nancy "Bee" Bayerle's avatar

....oh that's just a bunch of bologna.....

The Rickster's avatar

Does this guarantee passage of SPAM shipments?

Jerry Steffens's avatar

I thought it was the Strait of Vermouth -- or is that just Hegseth?

Clym Yeobright's avatar

Shaken, not stirred.

What a turd!

Irna Gadd's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Brenda Reiss's avatar

Well he does like baked beans

Edith Griffin's avatar

Spam! Spam! OMG.

" About the SPAM® Brand:

This revolutionary product won over the hearts of soldiers, world leaders, celebrities, chefs, kids and parents. Future generations continue to enjoy it as a versatile, high-quality and great-tasting mealtime favorite. The whole world can’t get enough of the iconic taste and the effortless creative potential contained within this iconic blue can." (Copied from the Hormel Foods website.)

Annette's avatar

I think Steve Cheung wrote that, or perhaps KaroLIE?

Devoted's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Annette's avatar

another favorite dish of his, with pineapple chunks and rice

Jim Dygert's avatar

J.D. Vance… one of the many people from this administration even a tick wouldn’t bite..

misia.d's avatar

That is a very, very small pool!

Joanne Elizabeth Schulze's avatar

Trump supporters are afraid of trans kids in locker rooms but it's okay when he invades pageant locker rooms full of teenage girls. The hypocrisy of it all.

It's Come To This's avatar

Is there somebody -- ANYBODY AT ALL -- in this malodorous administration that doesn't smell like a shithouse on fire, sound like a drugged out voidoid with the IQ of a caterpillar, or possess the morals of a spitting cobra?

Donard Engle's avatar

JD Vance is a juvenile Trump. A phony. He will do anything and say anything to suck up to Trump.

Cheryl Schwartz's avatar

Hilarious! Thank you for starting my day with laughter. Andy, you are the very best! 😹

Larry Caringer's avatar

I get the feeling that JD might actually be a product of poor Ai programming. He certainly isn’t human.

Frances López's avatar

He's a chameleon, like Zelig.

Clym Yeobright's avatar

Is this where excising the penises of roadkill comes in? Can a chameleon be the size of a Komodo Dragon?

Annette's avatar

I'd check with RFK, Jr.; that seems to be his specialty

Nancy "Bee" Bayerle's avatar

yes, and rumor has it that ChatGPT unwillingly penned that sorry excuse for a book from Vance

Clym Yeobright's avatar

Rumor is the sequel will detail his migration to Islam, the one true faith. After that: Usha persuading him he is Haille Selassie re-incarnated

M Q's avatar

Dealing with your American "negotiators" is so difficult and confusing for us.

In our culture, men don't wear makeup.

When we have a disagreement, we negotiate for a while, compromise, come to an agreement, and then announce an agreement. You Americans seem to do it backwards: you announce an agreement, then negotiate for a bit, and then run home. We cannot understand this.

Dan Harris's avatar

That's not makeup; it's warpaint. Just ask Pete!

Annette's avatar
18mEdited

Love that! This Christmas, kiddos, you will receive action figures, not dolls!

Annette's avatar

most Americans don't understand this either . . . nor does tRump, but its his M.O.

Bruce's avatar

I almost feel sorry for the Iranians. I wonder if in the tradition of other GOP politicians like Nixon and Reagan, Vance has told the Iranians that he will give them better peace terms than the current administration!

misia.d's avatar

Did they really?

Jay F's avatar

Trapping Iranian officials in a room with Vance seems as good a strategy as any other Trump has tried.

Annette's avatar

the aftermath of Jay Deviance visits are legendary

Joanne Elizabeth Schulze's avatar

I'm shocked that Vance's charm didn't win them over. Or maybe Iran's negotiators need more time to stop laughing out loud.

Mike Gelt's avatar

“Iran asked for Vance to handle negotiations… sat through 21 hours of talks… and now they’re like, You know what? Sanctions weren’t that bad.

Judith A.Koren Shanahan's avatar

OK, so now we are shedding both Republican and Dems who have behaved very badly in both sexual conduct and basic ethics; so isn't it about time we shed the biggest criminal of all?The convicted felon, convicted rapist, the one mentioned 38,000 times in the Epstein files? The biggest con man, now demented beyond repair. The person so compromised by Netanyahu,he is also a war criminal... cut the head of the hydra off at the top. ,

Clym Yeobright's avatar

JD wants the heads, Bobby wants the hydra’s penis

Susan H.'s avatar

They’ve designated Vance as a WMD.