Little known fact: Iran had made a major concession, to wit, it modified the coffee machine in the waiting room at its Islamabad consulate to accept American quarters.
Alas, the gesture was lost on Jared. “What is this thing you call ‘a quarter’?”, he asked a reporter. When the reporter showed him one, he tested it with his teeth and said “Interesting. But that doesn’t look at all like Daddy. If it were real money, I’m certain it would have the face of the potentate on it. I carry only trump$-coins in my little red plastic coin-purse. And melania$-nickels, of course. Do many people know about this?” Assured they do, he replied “I’ll have to ask Ivanka; she occasionally mixes with the unwashed masses … at Sak’s.”
I love this edition, Andy. The concept of a tollbooth in the Strait is so funny. The last line has me in stitches- a typical Borowitz pattern: save the (be) best for last. “It is what it is “ has an association now that I’ll never forget. Keep ’em coming, Andy. We need you even more than ever.
When King Con talks about how he will work with the Iranians, it's exactly this concept that attracts him. He wants to share in the money flow. And of course, not for the US Treasury, but for His Loyal Lowness. Then his war of choice will stop....
The combination of greed, corruption, incompetence, ignorance, and abuse of power by the members of the Trump crime family is amazing. That the Maga Republicans in the House, Senate and Supreme Court are still supportive of the conspiracy boggles the mind. However, they previously supported the QAnon conspiracy theory. Trump says foreigners aren’t laughing at us any more. For once he accidentally spoke the truth. They are looking at America with horror. A lot of Americans are too.
There are many disappointed Trump voters now. Much of what they feel is baded on gut reactions or observing that he didn’t do what he promised. What we should be spelling out, simply and clearly, is exactly what acts of his are corrupt, greedy, incompetent, ignorant and abusive (as you say), repeat and keep repeating it until, for the less-than-totally brainwashed, it is clear and obvious what crap he has been doing every single day of this term. Give them the facts that cannot be refuted; they’re at a point where it might start to sink in.
As tRump blabs on and on about his ballroom, I propose that we start referring to it as “The Bawlroom” with images created of him in the building (which looks like an enormous guilded crib) dressed in a leaky diaper and bawling his eyes out over some perceived problem.
Will Ivanka, or Donald for that matter, pay a ransom for Jared? More likely, they'll go into the prediction markets and bet that they won't (anonymously of course), and win big.
Satellite imagery revealed that post-bombing reconstruction has begun converting Iranian missile production facilities into E-ZPASS FOR SHIPS factories. A Revolutionary Guard spokesman confirmed this, saying, "We thank the Great Satan for having given us the push we needed - and the technology - to finally get going with this new program. It's a far easier, cheaper, and more lucrative way to terrorize the West than brandishing all those stupid missiles. We have creating and are awarding President Trump the new World Sharia Peace Prize." Glowing with pride, the American president responded, "These are incredible people. Unlike the Ukrainians, they really know how to thank me. Let Jared rot."
Every time I read a Borowitz piece I can literally see the cartoon short in my mind, kind of like a Dudley Do-Right episode. Just so dastardly comical; you really can't make this stuff up (but you can satirize it)!
😂😂😂Given the size of the trump crime family we're going to need more zip ties! I figure the crime family wants the ballroom so they can charge a fee for wh soirees and whcd suck up parties.
I hear that as we speak trump is negotiating with the island of Rhodes to erect a 120-foot gold statue of himself in its harbor. Apparently, he believes it’s the thirteenth state.
Never trust a man who looks like he was an original cast member in "The Stepford Husbands." -- Advice provided by: University Life: Smiling at Higher Education, One Post at a Time
Little known fact: Iran had made a major concession, to wit, it modified the coffee machine in the waiting room at its Islamabad consulate to accept American quarters.
Alas, the gesture was lost on Jared. “What is this thing you call ‘a quarter’?”, he asked a reporter. When the reporter showed him one, he tested it with his teeth and said “Interesting. But that doesn’t look at all like Daddy. If it were real money, I’m certain it would have the face of the potentate on it. I carry only trump$-coins in my little red plastic coin-purse. And melania$-nickels, of course. Do many people know about this?” Assured they do, he replied “I’ll have to ask Ivanka; she occasionally mixes with the unwashed masses … at Sak’s.”
🤣🤣🤣 I especially love the “he tested it with his teeth" – true genius Clym.
Ouch!! Amazing talent here, dare I say, on par with Andy? Nice one.
<snort laugh>
Excellent, Clym!! 👏👏. A bedtime story for kiddos and adults alike! (“…My little red plastic coin-purse” 😅)!
I love this edition, Andy. The concept of a tollbooth in the Strait is so funny. The last line has me in stitches- a typical Borowitz pattern: save the (be) best for last. “It is what it is “ has an association now that I’ll never forget. Keep ’em coming, Andy. We need you even more than ever.
When King Con talks about how he will work with the Iranians, it's exactly this concept that attracts him. He wants to share in the money flow. And of course, not for the US Treasury, but for His Loyal Lowness. Then his war of choice will stop....
We need the TBR to keep us up to date!
The combination of greed, corruption, incompetence, ignorance, and abuse of power by the members of the Trump crime family is amazing. That the Maga Republicans in the House, Senate and Supreme Court are still supportive of the conspiracy boggles the mind. However, they previously supported the QAnon conspiracy theory. Trump says foreigners aren’t laughing at us any more. For once he accidentally spoke the truth. They are looking at America with horror. A lot of Americans are too.
There are many disappointed Trump voters now. Much of what they feel is baded on gut reactions or observing that he didn’t do what he promised. What we should be spelling out, simply and clearly, is exactly what acts of his are corrupt, greedy, incompetent, ignorant and abusive (as you say), repeat and keep repeating it until, for the less-than-totally brainwashed, it is clear and obvious what crap he has been doing every single day of this term. Give them the facts that cannot be refuted; they’re at a point where it might start to sink in.
Yes and present an alternative that doesn't sound or isn't equally bizarre in the other direction.
Andy, this is peak Borowitz—where geopolitics meets Etsy-level entrepreneurship.
And Ivanka’s “it is what it is” might be the most on-brand diplomatic statement since…well, ever.
I'll be eagerly awaiting the sequel: offshore lanes rebranded as “premium shipping experiences,” with surge pricing during tanker traffic.
‘Etsy-level entrpreneurship’. Hat tip and deep bow, Shannon
Clym, you're so kind!
"Premium shipping experiences " with a personal concierge to enhance that experience
Andy, when will you start selling "Merch" ?
I'd buy a "TBR "logo hat with "It is what is is" across the back...or 86/47.....
They can keep him!
Along with Donnie, Petey, Kashi, et al.
It's a good start.
As tRump blabs on and on about his ballroom, I propose that we start referring to it as “The Bawlroom” with images created of him in the building (which looks like an enormous guilded crib) dressed in a leaky diaper and bawling his eyes out over some perceived problem.
I am imagining an Ann Telnaes cartoon of that scene.
Whoops! I just noticed I spelled “gilded” incorrectly. Could also be called a “guilty cage”!
Will Ivanka, or Donald for that matter, pay a ransom for Jared? More likely, they'll go into the prediction markets and bet that they won't (anonymously of course), and win big.
Hell, his kids will be making book at their prep schools
On point with this guy! Like father, like son. May the whole bunch wind up behind bars one day!
prison bars! he's already behind gold bars
Jared Kushner‘s only claimed to fame he is the first true AI/robot hybrid billionaire. No human affect whatsoever.
Dead eyes like Miller and Zuckerberg
I think he looks like Miller with hair.
Satellite imagery revealed that post-bombing reconstruction has begun converting Iranian missile production facilities into E-ZPASS FOR SHIPS factories. A Revolutionary Guard spokesman confirmed this, saying, "We thank the Great Satan for having given us the push we needed - and the technology - to finally get going with this new program. It's a far easier, cheaper, and more lucrative way to terrorize the West than brandishing all those stupid missiles. We have creating and are awarding President Trump the new World Sharia Peace Prize." Glowing with pride, the American president responded, "These are incredible people. Unlike the Ukrainians, they really know how to thank me. Let Jared rot."
😂
Great waterways of world-wide fame, like the famous River Mersey,
Have long held interest for that boy
From Livingston, New Jersey.
An expert on the Middle East, adviser to the sheiks,
Young Jared Kushner’s chutzpah
Was the kind that takes the cake.
Perhaps inspired by the tollbooths in the Garden State,
And counting on support from
MBS, a potentate,
The Kushner scheme was foolproof: tankers passing through Hormuz
Were boarded by ICE agents
Who would scrutinize their crews.
And should those crew originate From some vile, shithole nation,
They’d be removed with zeal
For many months’ incarceration.
Unless they ponied up the toll!
Simplicity is beauty.
The crew stayed under ICE control
Until they paid the duty.
Alas! Iranians are not Arabs;
They don’t like them much.
That doesn’t mean that Jared
Ever lost the Midas Touch.
The holdings of the Kushner’s
Skim the graft from far and wide.
Remember that Ivanka Trump is still J. Kushner’s bride.
Brilliant
And then there was Valerian …
NOT shocking. At all. But, if I may ask, where do you get those photos you post? They are amazingly accurate.
Every time I read a Borowitz piece I can literally see the cartoon short in my mind, kind of like a Dudley Do-Right episode. Just so dastardly comical; you really can't make this stuff up (but you can satirize it)!
I’m thinking more Mr. Peabody, but we’re definitely in the right neighborhood with Natasha/Melania running everything, dollink
I think you mean Boris?
That tracks.👍😊
😂😂😂Given the size of the trump crime family we're going to need more zip ties! I figure the crime family wants the ballroom so they can charge a fee for wh soirees and whcd suck up parties.
I hear that as we speak trump is negotiating with the island of Rhodes to erect a 120-foot gold statue of himself in its harbor. Apparently, he believes it’s the thirteenth state.
😂😂😂
Stock tip! Invest in zip ties!
😂😂😂
Now all the ship traffic has to carry a shitload of dimes.
Yes! Governor Lepetomane!
“What will that a**hole think of next !?”
I knew somebody here would get it.🤣
Never trust a man who looks like he was an original cast member in "The Stepford Husbands." -- Advice provided by: University Life: Smiling at Higher Education, One Post at a Time
https://universitylife.michaeladrianmorris.com
I always think he has dead eyes, like Zuckerberg and Miller!
Do you think trump requires dead eyes? Look at melanoma and baron!
When one thinks of the huge vocabulary the eyes have the thought of 'dead eyes' is more than scary. Twilight zone stuff
I think you are on to it!