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Andy Borowitz's avatar

Tulsi Gabbard and Kyrsten Sinema would have been in the running but they both left the party.

Pradnya Sikand's avatar

Happy Monday Andy ! 😂When it comes to politicians is there ever any dearth of

Jagoffs ? !! 😂Thanks for adding to my collection of wonderfully apt Americanisms ! And for putting a chuckle on my day ! 😉💕

Wis's avatar

This triggered a little PTSD for me: with the utter chaos of this past year and a half, I had practically forgotten about Manchin!!

Add to it that when maga was pushing the Big Lie, I liked Fetterman for his outspoken resistance, and now I dislike him enormously.

Emotional whiplash is what it is.

Gjay15's avatar

I voted for Fetterman and donated money to his campaign. I empathize with you.

Phil M.'s avatar

Tulsi and Kyrsten need to come back and show John the way out.

Stephanie MacLeod's avatar

A classic Andy this morning! Truly was able to laugh at this one, sometimes it is a laugh or cry situation. Glad you brought up Tulsi and Krysten...then there are the "used to be real Republicans" like Elise Stefanik. Speaking of the few remaining real Republicans, Charlie Baker left politics rather than running for governor again, he had a good chance of winning the general election, even as a Republican, but he knew he could not win the primary. In other Massachusetts news, and speaking of Jagoffs, Mike Minogue, from my hometown, is likely to win the Republican primary for governor. Claims he is a new kind of Republican, maybe for Massachusetts, i.e., the first bona fide wealthy Trumpist AssHat. Yes, bucolic Hamilton has those, too. He is anti-abortion and that alone will probably, hopefully, fingers-crossed, make him go away, after he has spent millions of his own money.

Diane Doyle's avatar

I thought Manchin had also declared as an Independent by now.

Larry Caringer's avatar

Apparently dressing like a clown wasn’t enough to prove Fetterman’s lack of common sense. Just to make sure we all know how crazy he is, he started supporting Trump. It worked. He’s certifiably nuts.

Sarah Krall's avatar

Nuts or a traitor?

It's Come To This's avatar

There is something seriously wrong with that man's brain, his heart....and his disastrous wardrobe choices -- magnitudes worse than lumpy, cerulean, polyknit sweaters fished out of a sales bin. Summoning Miranda Priestley.....

Marian Gushurst's avatar

As a resident of PA, I have frequently written to Fetterman expressing my disappointment and displeasure at his stance regarding Trump, Israel and immigration. Like many in PA, I am hoping he faces and loses a primary. I did suggest he resign and allow Shapiro to replace him. Sadly, so far, to no avail.

Pam's avatar

As a recent (8 years)PA resident, I agree; although I think Shapiro is a great governor-and, hopefully, will continue for another term.

Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

His responses are a joke. And his Fetter Letters are a waste.

Bob George's avatar

I am on the same path, John's take on Israel and their criminal leadership who bring Trump along by assasinating foreigh leadrs and the death of many thousands of kids in revenge for losing a couple hundred. But as a disabled Vet my take on Trump's distruction of the department of War? burns me. Still I'm not shure Pelosi isn't where he is on Isreal. And I know he can't win a primary but would have the election sewn up. I just expected Borowitz would be as good as Bill Mahr in reporting on the current events, both are supposed to be funny. None are Stephen Colbert.

John  (NJ-VT)'s avatar

Stroke symptoms come on suddenly and require immediate emergency medical attention (call 911). Use the B.E. F.A.S.T. acronym to spot them: Balance loss (not knowing your left from your right), Eyes blurring/loss of vision (not seeing an authoritarian government in front of you), Face drooping, Arm/leg weakness, and Speech difficulty (talking out of both sides of your mouth). Other signs include sudden confusion, severe headache, and dizziness (randomly yelling out Heil Trump).

Tom Melody's avatar

Did Mr Fetterman’s illness cause this disturbing shift, or was he just headed this way anyway? One wonders.

Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

A lot of people wonder

Diane Doyle's avatar

I now retroactively feel sad that Lamb did not win the Senate race against him. Okay, I'm not a Pennsylvanian by any stretch, save for the fact that my great-grandfather is from there. (Okay, he was from Philadelphia as opposed to Western PA.)

But I remember being very happy when in late March of 2018, Lamb had flipped a conservative district in Western PA to Democrat. A Millennial generation person (about the age of my firstborn). I was hoping it would be prophetic for several reasons: a flip of the House for midterms, Trump losing in 2020, and even for the hockey playoffs (as the star player of my favorite team has a last name that means "Lamb". Yes, really.)

March did come in like a lamb that year, with Lamb winning that election. (And my favorite player earned a milestone goal during that same time frame -- within a day or two.) Then, when the playoffs came, the hockey player whose name meant Lamb had a game winning goal during a game in Western PA on the first day in May (so May came in like a lamb, too.) And his team went on to win the Stanley Cup.

And then the 2018 midterms went relatively well and so did the 2020 election. Thus, I will always feel positive about Conor Lamb being in office.

Jacqueline Gindler's avatar

Jagoff. Nicely done , Andy.

Nancy Salamon's avatar

As a Pennsylvanian, I not only voted for Fetterman, but also contributed to his campaign . This got me a t-shirt followed by a heaping helping of buyer’s remorse. The shirt was ripped up months ago to use as rags. We all wonder if he was a fraud from the get go or if his stroke made him malleable to the MAGAs .

Gjay15's avatar

I feel similarly. I do believe that Fetterman was genuine that is what saddens me the most.

Greg Coble's avatar

As a West Virginia Democrat, I've learned that all things are relative. Give us back the days of Joe Manchin as our Senator - please. Joe voted with the Democrats on almost everything but took some stands counter to the Democrats, and admittedly did some grandstanding. But compared to Justice and Moore Capito, OMG!!!

Lorenzo's avatar

Caveat emptor, when buying a pig in a poke.

Anne J's avatar

Somewhere Kyrsten Sinema is watching this ceremony with tears in her eyes and a wine glass in her hand.

Lucy K.'s avatar

Fetterman is definitely the biggest irritant in the party. He must like the attention he gets, just like Trump.

robert miller's avatar

Fetterman is Manchin 2.0. Either way, they're both worthless.

Martin Reiter's avatar

This is what concerns me about the Maine oysterman.

Diana's avatar

Right - like the 20-year-old tattoo that he himself wasn't curious about. Or the many online comments that have caught up with him. He does seem too good to be true (and with amazingly polished answers for an "oysterman").

Martin Reiter's avatar

That he will be another Fetterman.

Shannon Kincaid's avatar

He's a problematic candidate for sure. That tattoo, those resurfaced Reddit posts... “I had no idea” (regarding the tattoo) strains credibility for me, especially given his military background and reported interest in military history. This is where the "vote blue no matter who" is really tempting because "we" all want to see Susan Collins ousted.

Linda MacDonald's avatar

Someone needs to ask him at a town hall straight up, will he be a jagoff like manchin and especially fetterman.

John LeBaron's avatar

Surely the spectacularly self-dealing egotist, Kirsten Sinema warrants a place of honor at this banquet table if misfits.

Gail Murdock's avatar

I feel betrayed. I gave him money when he was campaigning……

Wombat's avatar

ah so it was all YOUR fault lol (just kidding)

Linda's avatar

I always cut Manchin some slack as he was from a very RED state but there is no excuse for Fetterman.

Nancy T's avatar

Manchin was out to make more money, not represent WV. He was a traitor to the party and by voting 'no' on the Senate voting rights bill killed vital amendments to the VRA, leading to the SCOTUS decision last week which killed the VRA once and for all.