292 Comments
User's avatar
Andy Borowitz's avatar

Normally I'm all in for NO KINGS but I'm willing to make an exception.

Jean Jacoby's avatar

Poor Donny and the GOP. Not only does Charles speak politely in complete, grammatical sentences, not only is he a direct descendent of Queen Victoria, which he rubs in Donny's face just by existing; not only has he booted randy Andy out of the royal bosom on account of Epstein; but he's also a notorious tree hugger environmentalist--oh and his wife actually likes him. Yes, and he has real bling at his stately mansions.

Stephanie MacLeod's avatar

Well put, Jean, as a radical lefty since I was about four, I never thought I would count the Pope and the King of England as role models, but there you have it

Corlis Robe's avatar

This is my favorite reply.

Susan Gilbert-Collins's avatar

Ha. It's come to this...

Al Keim's avatar

Or as the English would say 'Bob's your uncle'.

Jean E Hayes's avatar

That picture of Vance and Johnson sitting behind a true class act is almost comical if you look at their expressions. Unfortunately, there's nothing funny about those two. King Charles is a good humanitarian and spokesperson for his country.

Susan von Beethoven's avatar

Jean, I wholeheartedly agree with you. They also look comical in their

“North Korea-style” uniforms. They are paying homage to the Big Fat Orange Pig Felon. So sad that our country has come to this.

bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

Vance is probably wearing his Florsheims,too

Edith Griffin's avatar

And the button being almost yanked off JD's rumpled jacket.

Claire Bullaro's avatar

Tweedle-dumb and Tweedle-derp.

Eileen's avatar

That was my reaction also - great photo for that reason.

Ellen Nordstrom's avatar

Love your response! 👏🏼❣️

Clym Yeobright's avatar

Perhaps you saw the report yesterday that Donny and Chuck are 15th cousins. Trump was quite excited and was about to claim his princely rights when it was discovered Melania is Charles’s 12th cousin; she now calls trump her ‘consort’

Jean Jacoby's avatar

Ha ha ha ha. And it seems that half of ethnic Europeans are descended from Charlemagne, anyway.

Clym Yeobright's avatar

Indeed. The mathematics are such that it is certain that some unidentified individual alive in 1400 is the ancestor of everyone alive today who has any ‘English blood’.

John Silas "Si" Hopkins, III's avatar

All British, Spanish, and Portuguese monarchs since 1400 are descendants of John of Gaunt (the fourth son [third surviving son] of King Edward III of England, but never a monarch himself).

Donald isn't!

Jean Jacoby's avatar

Yes but was he a king? That's what Donny needs to know.

Donna S Swarr's avatar

Real bling - yes, there's the rub, no gold paint for them, they use gilding.

Ellen Harris's avatar

I’m not sure the slogan should be “no kings” for djt when “no dictators” seems more accurate, but that detail aside, King Charles is looking better and better… it was refreshing to hear him speak!!

Jean Jacoby's avatar

Yes, and this despite the fact that Charles is battling cancer. I think the presence of Charles, king or not, reminds these bozos how a statesman should conduct themselves. Charles can't help the fact he has inherited the British throne, as anachronistic as that is.

Octavia Redwood's avatar

no kings is more polite than no dicks

John Silas "Si" Hopkins, III's avatar

We had a Dick; but he had the graciousness to resign.

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 with about a gazillion snortles!

Ellen Nordstrom's avatar

Ditto 👏🏼🤣👏🏼🤣👏🏼🤣👏🏼

Corlis Robe's avatar

Imma have to start using the word 'snortles.' I didn't know what to call the sound I just made.

LiverpoolFCfan's avatar

It was actually interesting that even many of the Republicans were applauding the King's speech.

Almost as though they were in a trance after hearing English spoken properly, engagingly, and inspiringly for the first time in years.

Breaking through the MAGA malaise, just for a few minutes.

Clym Yeobright's avatar

They cheered NATO, Ukraine, and taking action on the climate. Lawrence O’Donnell noted it might as well have been a Biden SOTU speech

L B Rose's avatar

Was King Con watching the standing ovation on TV? Will he need to fire every GOP member who stood with appreciation of a real king?

Etel's avatar

The hypocrisy is astounding. Did these Republicans really think we weren’t watching and seeing the standing ovations for all the things they manage to shred with their cowardice and outright corruption?

Mary Kellogg's avatar

Perhaps it was something contagious, rather than (conscious) hypocrisy: the effect of sitting quietly, listening to cogent arguments expressed in complete sentences, not to mention paragraphs. One can only pray the effects are lasting.

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Oh honey, sorry but that's truly a futile prayer. The thug-nuts were likely listening quietly because they were hopelessly stymied and didn't want to betray their utter lack of comprehension to their equally flummoxed seat mates.

Joanne Elizabeth Schulze's avatar

They were hypnotized by the King's graceful use of the English language.

Corlis Robe's avatar

Oh, I love your use of 'graceful.'

Suzy Fraser's avatar

Not to mention, the refreshing reprieve from speeches filled with vitriol and vengeance.

Owlette's avatar

Did they really listen and understand(!), what Charles was saying? Hard to believe...

Jean Jacoby's avatar

That's the real question. They were probably just blinded by a touch of class, so rare in Washington these days.

Elaine Young's avatar

They understood. they are just a bunch of sniveling cowards who “go with the flow” and then go home and act like big men with their families.

Susan Barnes's avatar

I need closed captions to watch British TV, so maybe.

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Oi, exceedingly well snapped!!!

Stephanie MacLeod's avatar

Our morning laugh, thank you, Andy. As someone who has been a "No Kings" event coordinator, I heartily agree to make King Charles the Third an exception (as opposed to King Donald the Turd). However, I had to avert my eyes at the picture of JD and Mike J sitting next to each other. Spouse says he is keeping his fingers and toes crossed that one will be gone by next year. So we both crossed our fingers and toes, you will just have to trust us on the toes in our slippers, we are old.

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

I'll trust you on that, Stephanie -- but how'z about eyes and legs? Are they crossed too? Are your arms akimbo? I'm going for the fully crossed option on this one.

Katherine James's avatar

The look on Charles's face and Camilla's face during the "tree" speech as Melania's eyes were cast down...OMG.

Gail Farney's avatar

Thanks to King Charles for upstaging the hunchback of the WH and showing him the difference between a class act and an ass act!

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Oooo-wheeee!!! Well-snapped indeed!!!

Antoinette S. Hamilton's avatar

And the King forgot to play the accordion when he talked. How remiss of him.

Karin Crichton's avatar

I am watching the speech right now, and was immediately drawn in by his manner of speaking.

SUCH a calming respite.

Carol Ring's avatar

You mean that King Charles could speak in complete sentences?

It's Come To This's avatar

AND an understated, erudite sense of genuine humor, as opposed to those who only laugh when the lumbering yetis of the World Wrestling Federation start hurling metal chairs at one other.

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Nobody does English wry humor like the English, and Charles was also genuinely nice when he dropped those grammatically correct complete sentence bombs. After what seems like an eon of relentless nonsensical shrieking blather and word salad from our faux-king pretender-in-cheat, Charles's speech was a lovely gentle refreshing cleansing rain of actual good sense.

LYNN COOK's avatar

Oh ! Spot On , Floofie !👏👏👏

LYNN COOK's avatar

Charles III exemplified " True Class ", Karin. Not the gaudiness of fools gold with which the immitation " tramp " must bask in. Those two men....standing side by side...clearly leave no doubt as to which one is the true leader...and which one is way beyond his sell date.

What an embarrassment djt is to this great country...and to the World.

Karin Crichton's avatar

Oh, Lynn - this is the ABSOLUTE truth.

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Excellent assessment, Lynn -- "which one is the true leader...and which one is way beyond his sell date" is frickin' brilliant!

Clym Yeobright's avatar

It was surprising to see the Rs join the Ds in cheering when Charles reminded them of ‘checks and balances’. It became more understandable when one Alabama Republican representative was overheard asking his neighbor “That’s a Brit dish, right? Like bangers and mash?”

Stephen Brady's avatar

Well, perhaps better out in public than 'Spotted Dick'.

Clym Yeobright's avatar

And I’m sure ‘toad in the hole’ would have been taken personally by Lindsey Graham. He might well have called in ICE to deport Chuck right from the Congressional podium

Stephen Brady's avatar

I first heard it as 'Toadie in the Hole' - but you are right about Lindseybelle.

LYNN COOK's avatar

ICTT...you out short-snorted me...but not by much ! 😂😂😂

Marmo's avatar

Clym Yeobright - I think that you just provided Miss Flimsy Graham-cracker's new nickname: Toad In The Hole (or Miss TITH?) - a perfect description!

Mary Ann's avatar

Love "Flimsey Graham"! His drinking is out of control and yet he will be SC's Senator in perpetuity, trying to beat the record set by racist Strom Thurmond.

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Check out Stephen Brady's above furtherance of Toad In The Hole into "Toadie in the Hole"!!! SNAP! And love your Miss TITH!!! Grooving on this whole thread -- y'all are in fine form this morning!

Irna Gadd's avatar

Clym, you did it again - I’m laughing as much from your comment as I can do from Andy’s post.

June's avatar

Irna, one of the few morning joys is to read Andy’s work. The only thing better is to read Andy and follow it with the musings of his “groupies”. I love being part of this clever, creative, articulate group. It’s truly refreshing after the regular “news”.

Anne Fletcher-Jones's avatar

I wonder if he even knows what it is — Yorkshire pudding embedded with a bunch of sausages. Never was a favourite dish of mine! Same goes for “spotted dick” — suet pudding with raisins mixed in and doused with custard (ugh!).🇬🇧

It's Come To This's avatar

Why do you think the Brits conquered India? Desperate to find themselves a decent curry it was. Look at their breakfasts -- cold fried tomatoes, baked beans, blood sausage... 🤮

Anne Fletcher-Jones's avatar

No argument there, but a proper, freshly cooked English breakfast is pretty good—but without the blood sauce. I can’t remember the last time I had one! I agree about the curry, which is one of my favorite foods—India’s gift to the world. My late (Mexican-American) husband loved curry too. Whenever we went out to eat, it was always either Indian or Japanese food, though we did occasionally eat Mexican food (which we mostly cooked at home).

I have to admit that I simply love food—almost any kind of food—and enjoy discovering new cuisines.

Clym Yeobright's avatar

Shepherd’s pie for you, Anne, with fresh garden peas :)

Corlis Robe's avatar

Can it be done with fresh snow peas? I would eat that.

Anne Fletcher-Jones's avatar

It made me so hungry, I just ate some of that! I’m quite fond of mashed potatoes.

Anne Fletcher-Jones's avatar

It made me so hungry, I just ate some of that! I’m quite fond of mashed potatoes.

Jim Ryan's avatar

I thought he said 'Speak American'

Janeo's avatar
1hEdited

Charles knows more of what's in the Constitution than most of the Rs & Ds currently in DC.

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Very sadly too too too true.

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Oh well done, Clym!! Chef's kiss!! MWAH!!

Carol Ring's avatar

King Charles spoke of the importance of checks and balances in his address before Congress. The Magna Carta, signed in 1215, established that everyone — including a king— is subject to the law of the land. It also guaranteed due process, trial by a jury of peers and other fundamental rights. [Sounds like he was referring to the Orange one. Was he listening?]

Marmo's avatar

Carol Ring, I suspect that Dump is capable of hearing only his own voice - any other voice sounds like a slight buzzing. He's only able to understand what somebody else says when it's praise of himself - any other words bore him to the point of falling asleep.

It's Come To This's avatar

Many are unaware that the 7th great-grandson (or whatever) of George III is not only well-read (of course) but possesses a sense of humor that our You Know Who will never understand. During the 50th Jubilee of his mother's reign, Dame Edna in full-court lavender suddenly appeared at the Royal Box at Albert Hall, taking her seat next to Camilla and Charles. As BBC cameras rolled, an usher tapped her on the shoulder sternly and motioned for the exit door. Dame Edna stood and announced to the world — "they found me a better seat." Prince Charles can be seen nearly asphyxiating from laughter.

Clym Yeobright's avatar

I assumed right after that if trump had understood any of it, he would have been up all night last night posting Diana jokes.

Haven’t checked if he did or not. Who knows?

Joseph F Wightman's avatar

Is sleep listening a thing?

Wis's avatar
1hEdited

He was listening, Carol, just like he was when he calmly but scoldingly insulted Norah O’Donnell on 60 Minutes, after she read the would-be assassin’s “manifesto”, aimed at the government.

It was so perfect: trump called her and the press “horrible people”, and then denied the claims in the manifesto (“I am not a rapist… “ etc)

Norah, unmoved by his rude rant, quickly asked, “Oh - you think the suspect was talking about YOU?”

Norah’s a quick one! Charles is, too. They’re much quicker witted than trump and this administration. It makes me sad when I see people with working brains dealing with trump. I can remember when brains mattered in this country’s leadership.

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Well-spotted and well-snapped, Wis!

John Silas "Si" Hopkins, III's avatar

The 1215 Magna Carta (there were a number of others as well) is not all we like to think it was.

It was imposed on one of the worst Kings in British history. Note that there has never been a King John II.

Trial by jury of his peers did not guarantee trial by jury. Quite the contrary. It guaranteed the right of members of the British Peerage to be tried by the House of Lords -- their peers -- rather than by the King's courts. Until the reign of King Charles I those courts included the Court of Star Chamber in which jurors would be imprisoned until they got it right and ruled the way the King directed. Britain abolished Star Chamber before the American Revolution. It died with King Charles I in the middle of the Seventeenth Century. Does it feel like King Donald has resurrected Star Chamber with his "Justice" Department and "Courts"?

howard levitt's avatar

And he refused to wear a red tie

Karen Rodd's avatar

Sometimes I think Andy can’t possibly improve on his writing and his humor, and then I read brilliant pieces like this one. “The offensive sentences, characterized by an incendiary deployment of subject-verb agreement, drew howls of outrage from congressional Republicans.” 😂😂

Andy Borowitz's avatar

Thank you!

Linda Mitchell, KCMO's avatar

My favorite sentence as well!!

Michael Blackwell's avatar

I also liked ""Sucked,' said Lauren Boebert." Very appropriate for the "hands-on" rep. Snicker.

John  (NJ-VT)'s avatar

Be good that you point this out Andy!

Jan Fabiyi's avatar

Be best if Trump picks up some pointers from Charles.

Michael Medway's avatar

If he can’t pick up some pointers, how about some King Charles Spaniels?

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Nah -- let 'im bloviate himself into outer space and be gone.

Rosemary Ehle's avatar

It was soothing to hear the King's English. So weary of the tension/nausea/terror every time Trump gets up to speak.

Wis's avatar

Amen, Rosemary! Whenever I hear or see trump, I reflexively go, “urgggh”.

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Our gag reflexes are in overdrive these daze. They don't call him Maximus Vomitus for nuthin'. Very hard on us sufferers of acid reflex. "Urgggh" indeed.

Cindy La Ferle's avatar

Had to restack this one. Brilliant! "Make America Great Britain Again!"

Taisa  Markus's avatar

Make America Grammatical Again

Marmo's avatar

How about, Talsa Markus, Make America Educated Again?

Bob Spillman's avatar

Let's trade Kings.

Dan Starr's avatar

What do you have against the British?

Linda MacDonald's avatar

😅😅😅 I felt so happy hearing decent thoughtful words carefully prepared. Truly amazing to hear one complete sentence follow another, unriddled by lies, stupidity, crassness, whining, blaming....that they all stood for Ukraine, that the gop sat silent opposing care for the earth...trump is nothing but the embodiment of The Snake, just like his favorite poem...biting and injecting poison is his raison d'etre.

Jeanne Golliher's avatar

Is it impossible to imagine that some fraction of those whose brains have been addled by a decade spent consuming a steady diet of orange Kool-Aid will be reminded of what dignity and moral clarity looks like? Are they too far gone to recognize that the strangely warm feeling is their heart and soul remembering that integrity is inspiring?

A girl can dream!

Linda MacDonald's avatar

"Integrity is inspiring". YES! Keep dreaming Jeanne.

John Silas "Si" Hopkins, III's avatar

2025 WAS The Year of the Snake!

Joanne Elizabeth Schulze's avatar

I'm surprised Trump did not ask the King for his crown to add to his collection of undeserved trophies.

John Weeks's avatar

GOP deeply offended by King Charles’s charm offensive.

Taisa  Markus's avatar

DOJ investigating.

Randall Uhler's avatar

Appropriate Boebert response

Thanks for starting my day with a smile

CarolAinDC's avatar

Horrors! And the transcript might contain scandalous Oxford commas.

Irna Gadd's avatar

I hope so - I’m a believer

Jay F's avatar

Jolly hilarious!