King Charles Downgrades Trump’s State Visit to Lunch with Prince Andrew

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LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—In an abrupt about-face, King Charles III of the United Kingdom announced on Monday that he was downgrading Donald J. Trump’s upcoming state visit to lunch with Prince Andrew.

Instead of Windsor Castle, where the state visit was to be held, the lunch between Andrew and Trump will now occur at a Pizza Express restaurant in Woking.

According to royal sources, Andrew was “incandescent with rage” when his older brother informed him of the engagement, but the King told him, “Sorry, old chap, you’ve got to take one for the team.”

After Andrew asked what he and Trump could possibly talk about over their pizza, Charles suggested, “Maybe you two can reminisce about your good times with Jeffrey Epstein.”

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Kash Patel vs. Startled Deer: The Poll Results

Wikipedia; Jessica Cogar on Unsplash

Last Friday, TBR asked readers who would make them feel safer as FBI director, Kash Patel or a startled deer. See the amazing poll results here.