Andy, this Guardian article sounds like your amazing truthful-satirical TBR reporting!
Regarding some of the details:
1. Being in any town that sounds "woke" like Woking would cause indigestion for the American king.
2. The meeting place may create a stronger Bond between the two depending on the toppings these JE buddies prefer (but we probably don't want to know their answer on this one).
3. Perhaps, after devouring a pizza, they'd decide to form an internationally disgraced comedy team named Anus and Andy?
Thank you for the important reference. I thoroughly enjoyed the Guardian's tongue-in-cheek style, too! What would be a good headline for their headline contest?
Holy Pepperoni Batman TBR! How did I ever miss this Guardian article!😂😂😂 Pass the parmesan and hot pepper flakes. Thanks for the laughs this Monday morning. BTW you need to look into that "great" man grennell taking a German reporter from the ZDF on urging that his visa be revoked. Elmer and Richard. I smell a belly laugh waiting to explode.😊
A reliable source from Speaker Johnson’s office has confirmed that Trump will be wearing a wire at DOJ’s request, which expects to finally indict Andrew, HRC, and other prominent Democrats in the traveling Pizzagate pedophile ring.
One more writing for you to chew on before Princeton. I bring my two nieces with me - front row. They are scared shitless, so please make them laugh.
And so I fantasize:
SINCE JULY 4TH, 1776—FOUNDED ON THE BELIEF THAT ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL—THIS COUNTRY HAS REMAINED DEEPLY DIVIDED ON RACE, RELIGION, AND SEX.
“At 10:22 on the morning of Sunday, September 15, 1963, a bomb ripped through the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham, Alabama. It was Youth Day in the historic brick church, and five young girls dressed in their Sunday best were in the ladies’ lounge, preparing for their part in the service about to begin. As Denise McNair, Cynthia Wesley, Carole Robertson, and Addie Mae Collins were chatting and adjusting their dresses, a charge of dynamite stashed under the steps leading to the church sanctuary exploded. It killed the four girls instantly. Standing at the sink in the back of the room, Addie’s sister Sarah survived, though with serious injuries.” —HCR
This division has never ended, and it will continue. Fueled by power, money, and media, it burns like a fire. It will last until lines are drawn on this earth to truly separate what is black and white, belief and unbelief, right and wrong.
Enough is enough. There is plenty of land here for both views to exist—just not side by side. Let them be separated by borders, lakes, and rivers.
Declare it, people!
Like choosing sides in a game of dodgeball, you are either blue or red. You either want to confront the drug crisis at the root of our social decay, or you want to turn it into a media show. You either want to provide free education for all, or allow people to slip further into barbarism. You either care about all people, or cling to media-driven fears of those who don’t look like you, act like you, or suffer more than you.
There will be retaliation. There will be violence—again, as on September 15, 1963. There will always be a powerful and wealthy Republican Party willing to distort facts, spread lies, and spend limitless sums to convince poor whites and the Christian right that they are part of the club.
But they are not.
Declare it: thirteen states must break away from this toxic culture—to bring back jobs the rich have shipped overseas for profit, to value education for all, to care for human beings and for Mother Earth. Again, as in the sixties.
Instead of attacking the country to our north, we should be looking at joining them.
Thank you John, especially for reminding us of those little girls by name. A tear comes to my eye just reading "five young girls dressed in their Sunday best." I preferr to this of them a "little girls" because that's likely how they were thought of back then and how I picture them now. A difference w/o a distinction? Maybe. Than you again. Mark in NJ
Those are the words of Heather Cox Richardson. I read her for history lessons, andy for humor, and Bill King and his son for music.
TV - off except for Jon Stewart and sometimes Cobert. BRW, we are no different then the republicans giving him a shit load of emmy’s last night.
My wife and I are going back through the Sapranos. No different then this administration.
Take care. Hope you are writing Mikie on this concept. She could easily be the president of these 13 colonies. And could save our new country money by flying her own helicopter. Not like that asshole with three going between bedminster and morristown for golf.
Thank you for remembering to give credit to the author. It is important that those of us who publish our work receive appropriate credit. I am also an historian and my published stuff gets stolen all the time--most recently by Mark Fuckerberg in his sweep of everything in academia to feed his AI machine--and it has become increasingly difficult to stop this from happening (there are lots of class action lawsuits happening right now against AI theft).
I’m not sure Canada would take we “orig-13’s”. Let’s not give up on the other 37. Geographically they may be big, but it doesn’t mean they don’t need our help thinking this through!
What a lovely gesture by King Charles. Instead of thinking at a state level, he put himself in the President’s shoes and asked himself, if I was a no good adulteress scheming womananizing President, how would I prefer to spend my valued time in the UK? Another example of the ‘special relationship’ of our two great nations.
Andy thank you for this! I spend a very large amount of my time in the UK and the comedy references to the Pizza Express in Woking continue to be both legion and legendary. It is such a shame that so few Ammurrikans know the reference. I would also suggest that you investigate Prince Andrew's claim that he suffers from a condition that has stoppered up his sweat glands, because it might be that the abundant perspiration of the Holy Felon of Marred-all-the-Lagos is going to be used to effect a cure. . .
I’ve heard British comedians refer to the Pizza Express without understanding why. BTW, with the exception of Andy, the Brits do humor better than Americans.
How can you take a ride on a plane called "The Lolita Express" and say you didn't kow what Epstein was up to? All these creeps were slavering to get in on it.
The condoms with the drinks instead of peanuts, along with the vibrating, fully reclining seats might have been a giveaway. They aren’t standard on business trips.
Epstein’s himself insisted Trump and Melania had sex for the first time on the plane. Since he videotaped everything, pretty sure a copy exists.
For those of you interested in the Pizza Express reference: https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/nov/17/wokings-pizza-express-customers-struggle-to-remember-first-visit
Andy, this Guardian article sounds like your amazing truthful-satirical TBR reporting!
Regarding some of the details:
1. Being in any town that sounds "woke" like Woking would cause indigestion for the American king.
2. The meeting place may create a stronger Bond between the two depending on the toppings these JE buddies prefer (but we probably don't want to know their answer on this one).
3. Perhaps, after devouring a pizza, they'd decide to form an internationally disgraced comedy team named Anus and Andy?
Anus and Andy! Gut- buster Alan!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I love how your side references are backed up with such thorough research.
Andy has Ears everywhere.
Thank you for the important reference. I thoroughly enjoyed the Guardian's tongue-in-cheek style, too! What would be a good headline for their headline contest?
Holy Pepperoni Batman TBR! How did I ever miss this Guardian article!😂😂😂 Pass the parmesan and hot pepper flakes. Thanks for the laughs this Monday morning. BTW you need to look into that "great" man grennell taking a German reporter from the ZDF on urging that his visa be revoked. Elmer and Richard. I smell a belly laugh waiting to explode.😊
In keeping with the high standards of trump’s taste in fine
dining, Pizza Express was a wise choice by King Charles. Most likely a better option than a bucket of KFC, or a Wimpy burger.
or the sandwich's he served football players
Pizza Express in Woking
https://www.pizzaexpress.com/woking-goldsworth-road
Check out their menu.
Too good, as always! Love starting my day with your humor!
Thank you!
Some days, your column is our only smile!! Thank you!
Lunch at Burger King, would be suitable.🤣
after all, it is the Home of the Whopper!
And catsup as a WMD‼️
😆😂🤣
The psychopath prefers McDonald’s hamberders.
And fries. Don’t forget the fries.
That was actually where King Charles was taking Trump, but it has been downgraded to Burger Prince.
A reliable source from Speaker Johnson’s office has confirmed that Trump will be wearing a wire at DOJ’s request, which expects to finally indict Andrew, HRC, and other prominent Democrats in the traveling Pizzagate pedophile ring.
God save the King ! and God save Andy Borowitz!
Before I realized this was from you, I read the headline as gospel. With Andy, all things are possible!
One more writing for you to chew on before Princeton. I bring my two nieces with me - front row. They are scared shitless, so please make them laugh.
And so I fantasize:
SINCE JULY 4TH, 1776—FOUNDED ON THE BELIEF THAT ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL—THIS COUNTRY HAS REMAINED DEEPLY DIVIDED ON RACE, RELIGION, AND SEX.
“At 10:22 on the morning of Sunday, September 15, 1963, a bomb ripped through the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham, Alabama. It was Youth Day in the historic brick church, and five young girls dressed in their Sunday best were in the ladies’ lounge, preparing for their part in the service about to begin. As Denise McNair, Cynthia Wesley, Carole Robertson, and Addie Mae Collins were chatting and adjusting their dresses, a charge of dynamite stashed under the steps leading to the church sanctuary exploded. It killed the four girls instantly. Standing at the sink in the back of the room, Addie’s sister Sarah survived, though with serious injuries.” —HCR
This division has never ended, and it will continue. Fueled by power, money, and media, it burns like a fire. It will last until lines are drawn on this earth to truly separate what is black and white, belief and unbelief, right and wrong.
Enough is enough. There is plenty of land here for both views to exist—just not side by side. Let them be separated by borders, lakes, and rivers.
Declare it, people!
Like choosing sides in a game of dodgeball, you are either blue or red. You either want to confront the drug crisis at the root of our social decay, or you want to turn it into a media show. You either want to provide free education for all, or allow people to slip further into barbarism. You either care about all people, or cling to media-driven fears of those who don’t look like you, act like you, or suffer more than you.
There will be retaliation. There will be violence—again, as on September 15, 1963. There will always be a powerful and wealthy Republican Party willing to distort facts, spread lies, and spend limitless sums to convince poor whites and the Christian right that they are part of the club.
But they are not.
Declare it: thirteen states must break away from this toxic culture—to bring back jobs the rich have shipped overseas for profit, to value education for all, to care for human beings and for Mother Earth. Again, as in the sixties.
Instead of attacking the country to our north, we should be looking at joining them.
Peace.
John
Thank you John, especially for reminding us of those little girls by name. A tear comes to my eye just reading "five young girls dressed in their Sunday best." I preferr to this of them a "little girls" because that's likely how they were thought of back then and how I picture them now. A difference w/o a distinction? Maybe. Than you again. Mark in NJ
Those are the words of Heather Cox Richardson. I read her for history lessons, andy for humor, and Bill King and his son for music.
TV - off except for Jon Stewart and sometimes Cobert. BRW, we are no different then the republicans giving him a shit load of emmy’s last night.
My wife and I are going back through the Sapranos. No different then this administration.
Take care. Hope you are writing Mikie on this concept. She could easily be the president of these 13 colonies. And could save our new country money by flying her own helicopter. Not like that asshole with three going between bedminster and morristown for golf.
Peace
Thank you for remembering to give credit to the author. It is important that those of us who publish our work receive appropriate credit. I am also an historian and my published stuff gets stolen all the time--most recently by Mark Fuckerberg in his sweep of everything in academia to feed his AI machine--and it has become increasingly difficult to stop this from happening (there are lots of class action lawsuits happening right now against AI theft).
In quotes and with “HCR”. Not an official way, as she does, but a reference.
Not a difference without a distinction at all, Mark. Well said.
I’m not sure Canada would take we “orig-13’s”. Let’s not give up on the other 37. Geographically they may be big, but it doesn’t mean they don’t need our help thinking this through!
Prince Andrew and Trump deserve each other's company in a sewer.
I think a sewer might be too good for them...and might insult the rats who live there...
after taco day in the neighborhood
Good times, old times, yuk-yuk times with Donald and Andrew. "A secret is a wonderful thing, isn't it, Andrew?"
What a lovely gesture by King Charles. Instead of thinking at a state level, he put himself in the President’s shoes and asked himself, if I was a no good adulteress scheming womananizing President, how would I prefer to spend my valued time in the UK? Another example of the ‘special relationship’ of our two great nations.
Nice.
Thank you for starting my day with laughter! You are the best!
The trump fellow before this meeting:
- I do not know a Prince Andrew
- I never met a Prince Andrew
- I wouldn't recognize a Prince Andrew in a picture
The trump fellow when entering the meeting:
- Oh.... it's you?
Once again this plays like a scenario that might be true. Had a difficult time concentrating under the watchful gaze of the deer and Patel.
The deer has more brain activity than Kash
Andy thank you for this! I spend a very large amount of my time in the UK and the comedy references to the Pizza Express in Woking continue to be both legion and legendary. It is such a shame that so few Ammurrikans know the reference. I would also suggest that you investigate Prince Andrew's claim that he suffers from a condition that has stoppered up his sweat glands, because it might be that the abundant perspiration of the Holy Felon of Marred-all-the-Lagos is going to be used to effect a cure. . .
I’ve heard British comedians refer to the Pizza Express without understanding why. BTW, with the exception of Andy, the Brits do humor better than Americans.
I'm surprised it wasn't moved to McDonald's; what's more MAGA (and caloric) than a big mac?
See above
But McDonald's has tons of neat little ketchup packets ready to throw! Can Pizza Express offer that type of amenity?
Hilarious comment!! :-)
How can you take a ride on a plane called "The Lolita Express" and say you didn't kow what Epstein was up to? All these creeps were slavering to get in on it.
The condoms with the drinks instead of peanuts, along with the vibrating, fully reclining seats might have been a giveaway. They aren’t standard on business trips.
Epstein’s himself insisted Trump and Melania had sex for the first time on the plane. Since he videotaped everything, pretty sure a copy exists.
"Woking." Lol.
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/nov/17/wokings-pizza-express-customers-struggle-to-remember-first-visit