I'm surprised they haven't put that squad of doctored old harpies from Merde á Lardo on the front lines. Talk about the stuff of nightmares! edit: so as not to offend real women I changed 'women' to harpies. Thanks to the other comments.
"Merde a Lardo" is such a wonderful reworking of the name of the Felon-in-Chief's hangout. Marjorie Merriweather Post most certainly is rolling in her grave!
Mar-a-Lardo, like the atrocities he has done to the White House and the ballroom he is building are proof that he is a classless cretin decorating in his idea of what classy is.
It’s the execrable behavior and cruelty (puppy killer/ goat killer 🙄) more than the face ! Alas it’s a sad truth that women like Noem torture their faces to please the misogynistic men they are so in thrall to !And this is the most misogynistic of Presidents 🙄
And think of what it means that she thought the puppy and goat killings were a good story to tell to demonstrate her ability to make hard decisions. How about that she could at least have given the goat to a petting zoo, brought the puppy to a local shelter. She’s pro-life? Even if she wanted to proclaim how tough she is, she does not register the cruelty of executing defenseless animals, not unlike her inability to comprehend what she is doing to the lives of all those innocent people rounded up in her ICE raids. Even to the lives of people who maybe committed some kind of smaller crime years ago. She is indeed the ICE Queen. If she even has a heart, it’s made of ice, too.
Snort laughing!!!!! I don’t like making fun of women because of how they look because we get this our whole life but she is such a clown and it is too funny!!!
Well, this is not really how she looks, except by her own choice. She was attractive before she did her Mar-a-Lago makeover! Google photos of her pre-Trump. She’s unrecognizable.
I agree with Laura about women being judged for their appearances, something I"ve experienced and don't like. But Andy's right, Noem chose this. It's the thing some people do when they are too insecure to be themselves. She looks like she was taken out of a box with accessories (fatigues, combat boots, AR-15, makeup kit, a set of changeable hair extensions. Her skin looks like silicon with a little extra in the lips. Is there one of those little pullstrings in the back that makes it sound like she's saying something?
Trump is the same way. Maybe scarier. His is starting to deteriorate- something Kristii has to look forward to.
I have never liked the face I see in a mirror, but as a 75 year old white male, the merde-a-lago makeover would look pretty scary on me. Besides, I can't afford it.
Andy, I just found some pictures of her B.T. (Before Trump.) You were so right; she was quite attractive. Her new face makes her look like the animal killer that she is. Sad.
agree- she has folded to the cultural curse of judging women based on their/our looks- but she has even more folded to Trump...when she talks it seems like she's just moving her mouth- no real expression and def no humanity.
All the women he's been with (with exception of Marla --not enough time) have been revised, adjusted, enhanced, inflated and 'improved' to conform to his standards. Including daughter/wife Ivanka -- daddy said 'get your boobs done' and dutiful daughter complied. Then he considered dating her.
But when it's a forced error, they deserve to be ridiculed. She once had the girl-next-door look and turned herself into a freak to please a bunch of misogynistic men with very little weenies.
Looking forward to a day when the United States is populated with ladies that are averse to Botox, fake puffy lips and fake eyelashes. Those ladies will be nice to dogs and goats and not bang Corey Lewandowski.
Sean, just because there is a Kristi Noem doesn't mean she is representative of women in the US. I don't personally know anyone who is into that kind of self-mutilation. I just know they exist, both male and female, because the media is so into covering them. I've seen some very young women wearing fake eyelashes, but they are naive and grow out of it. Nearly all of the women (and men) (and children) I know are nice to dogs, cats, chickens, goats, and especially sheep (I know a lot of spinners and sheep-keepers). So you don't have to "look forward" to the way we populate the US. We already do.
Thanks for the tip, Andy. The next time I'm walking home in the dark, I'll have my phone at the ready to flash that pic of Kristi to scare the bejeezus out of anyone who is suspicious.
Thank you for the link to illustrate the bizarre transformation. I think she was quite pretty before. What could make someone do that? It so extreme! I think there are a lot of people laughing all the way to the bank who have sold millions of women the idea that gluing plastic to your nails is better than your actual nails and shaving your eyebrows and drawing some on instead is a good think to do, and so on. I came of age in the early-mid 70s so I never understood how and why to do make-up on myself, so that's my bias about all this. Looking at all these MAGA women with artificially sculpted faces just really gives me the willies.
Yeah, my first reaction was "what happened to her face???" She had problems with ethics, for sure, but she looked ok. Now.... she just looks like someone who was mass-produced.
I'm a woman and I'll be the first to make fun of her looks. No amount of plastic surgery is gonna conceal the evil oozing from her pores. They're all creepy looking af. Inhuman! all of them !!!
Best hit on Kissy Noem's face is the SouthPark meme where her face is constantly falling off and slithering away. But it's still a coin toss on whether it's Trump or Kissy who spends the most time at the cosmetic counter.
Finally, we learn Kristi’s superpower!
I'm surprised they haven't put that squad of doctored old harpies from Merde á Lardo on the front lines. Talk about the stuff of nightmares! edit: so as not to offend real women I changed 'women' to harpies. Thanks to the other comments.
That's because the Merde a Lardo "men" have no spines or testicular fortitude, so they have to hide behind all their plastic Barbies.
They all look like blow-up sex dolls.
If freaks are your thing.
Like Lars and the Real Girl movie
---not that anyone of us would really know about such things....
hope they're smart enough to stay away from open flames!
Fascinating thought, given how misogynistic they all are…
"testicular fortitude" ? lol
"Merde a Lardo" is such a wonderful reworking of the name of the Felon-in-Chief's hangout. Marjorie Merriweather Post most certainly is rolling in her grave!
I think of that awful place as a giant gold-encrusted shit ball and tRump as the head dung beetle.
Yes, but dung beetles serve a purpose. They are like the carrion-eating birds. I can't see any purpose to being trump.
True - they just lead a kind of gross lifestyle. tRump is that rare parasite which always kills it host.
That's what I thought when I read Stephen's post.
Mar-a-Lardo, like the atrocities he has done to the White House and the ballroom he is building are proof that he is a classless cretin decorating in his idea of what classy is.
Gee. Tell us what you really think.
--and the s-ball is getting larger and larger!
I love it - will replace my Lard a Maga with Merde a Lardo.........has so much more power!
It also has panache!
Or, maybe, Maga a Lardo
Or for an option: Merde a la’orange…..
Served with a Trump steak?
Merde a' Largesse?
Absolutely. A wonderful and appropriate renaming.
Her battered coffin already the object of so much battered twirling!
They are very, very scary. Also pathetic
I love referring to the orange one's kingdom as "Merde á Lago." Thanks for that. I am stealing the phrase!
You are welcome to use it! I have been calling it that since tRump I.
Merde á Lardo. A perfect description.
Drop them over the Russian Army! Or the Israeli Army in Gaza!
It’s the execrable behavior and cruelty (puppy killer/ goat killer 🙄) more than the face ! Alas it’s a sad truth that women like Noem torture their faces to please the misogynistic men they are so in thrall to !And this is the most misogynistic of Presidents 🙄
And think of what it means that she thought the puppy and goat killings were a good story to tell to demonstrate her ability to make hard decisions. How about that she could at least have given the goat to a petting zoo, brought the puppy to a local shelter. She’s pro-life? Even if she wanted to proclaim how tough she is, she does not register the cruelty of executing defenseless animals, not unlike her inability to comprehend what she is doing to the lives of all those innocent people rounded up in her ICE raids. Even to the lives of people who maybe committed some kind of smaller crime years ago. She is indeed the ICE Queen. If she even has a heart, it’s made of ice, too.
Serial killers often start out torturing and killing small animals. Just saying.
I hit 2 skunks n the road 40 years go and still feel terrible. But on PURPOSE ??????
I agree, Jan. I will never forget what she did to Cricket and her unnamed goat😡😡😡😡
Yellow ice!
Yes. It's clear that Kristi Noem's looks are designed to please DJT and Noone else.
is there a picture around of her without spatula makeup
It was burned by priests!
Yes - but why is her lower lip so much larger than her upper lip?
It's the MAGA pout. They all have it.
Def. - To push one's lips or one's bottom lip forward as an expression of petulant annoyance or in order to make oneself look sexually attractive.
Overdose of Botox along with her perpetual pout.
I don't really know. Maybe to give her a permanent pout?
Daddyyyyyy....I want a pony...pout, pout.
Forget it. The dog and goat were enough.
All the better to flap out that ICE propaganda!
It’s the preferred look.
Well played! 😝😂
Her superpower is offset by the Subway Sandwich Kryptonite......
A severe case of Mar-a-Lago face.
--besides shooting pets!
The Anti-KRISTi.
Yaaassss!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Snort laughing!!!!! I don’t like making fun of women because of how they look because we get this our whole life but she is such a clown and it is too funny!!!
Well, this is not really how she looks, except by her own choice. She was attractive before she did her Mar-a-Lago makeover! Google photos of her pre-Trump. She’s unrecognizable.
I agree with Laura about women being judged for their appearances, something I"ve experienced and don't like. But Andy's right, Noem chose this. It's the thing some people do when they are too insecure to be themselves. She looks like she was taken out of a box with accessories (fatigues, combat boots, AR-15, makeup kit, a set of changeable hair extensions. Her skin looks like silicon with a little extra in the lips. Is there one of those little pullstrings in the back that makes it sound like she's saying something?
Trump is the same way. Maybe scarier. His is starting to deteriorate- something Kristii has to look forward to.
I thought she used spackle for makeup.
"Spackle by Helena Rubinstein"
EEEWWWW--can you just imagine what that face will look like when she's 80??!!
Why would you do that to yourself?
I have never liked the face I see in a mirror, but as a 75 year old white male, the merde-a-lago makeover would look pretty scary on me. Besides, I can't afford it.
I am 68 and I am sure both you and I are far out fabulous just as we are.
Weaponized beauty to get what one wants.
No.
If she lives that long.......before any wished-for tribunals......
We can only hope
That is, if the goats and dogs don't shoot back first!
Same with Kimberly Gilfoyle, little Donnie’s cast-away.
I’ll take my wrinkles, glasses, and gray hair over her appearance any day.👵🏻
Kimberly is positively grotesque now. Look at her before photos, she was very pretty. These women need psychological help.
--way before they even run for office! Or marry a Trump!
Absolutely. I often wonder how Gavin Newsome could tolerate her.
Don' think he did. Supposedly he cheated on her.
Hers is the worst plastic job, I can't even look at her! 🤮
Mar-a-Lardo
The orange makeup caker
We should start calling it Murder-a-Lardo—another option.
just like Kimberly Gargoyle! Pretty as a Democrat, butt ugly as a Retrumplican. That's why she had to leave the country, or so I've heard.
Kimberly Gargoyle! Clever. She used to be so pretty. I picture her now as vamping & drinking her way through Greece.
vamping and drinking...love it!
--and dancing in tavernas so much she does no harm to international relations.
We think alike!
Love the Gargoyle. Funny funny!
Andy, I just found some pictures of her B.T. (Before Trump.) You were so right; she was quite attractive. Her new face makes her look like the animal killer that she is. Sad.
agree- she has folded to the cultural curse of judging women based on their/our looks- but she has even more folded to Trump...when she talks it seems like she's just moving her mouth- no real expression and def no humanity.
Human on the outside: God knows what on the inside!
All the women he's been with (with exception of Marla --not enough time) have been revised, adjusted, enhanced, inflated and 'improved' to conform to his standards. Including daughter/wife Ivanka -- daddy said 'get your boobs done' and dutiful daughter complied. Then he considered dating her.
I looked at her before pictures. She was quite pretty. Not that it matters since her soul is ugly.
Wish she was unrecognizable now! Like no one ever heard of her, ever!
It's not really HER face, so it's OK to laugh at it.
Aren't you making fun of the surgeon? Or esthetician? OK. That's fair.
Come on Laura, all these drump hangabouts have only themselves to blame.
Yes all of you are right!!! She is just such a creep as are all of them!!!
But when it's a forced error, they deserve to be ridiculed. She once had the girl-next-door look and turned herself into a freak to please a bunch of misogynistic men with very little weenies.
The will-o'-weenies!
Looking forward to a day when the United States is populated with ladies that are averse to Botox, fake puffy lips and fake eyelashes. Those ladies will be nice to dogs and goats and not bang Corey Lewandowski.
Sean, just because there is a Kristi Noem doesn't mean she is representative of women in the US. I don't personally know anyone who is into that kind of self-mutilation. I just know they exist, both male and female, because the media is so into covering them. I've seen some very young women wearing fake eyelashes, but they are naive and grow out of it. Nearly all of the women (and men) (and children) I know are nice to dogs, cats, chickens, goats, and especially sheep (I know a lot of spinners and sheep-keepers). So you don't have to "look forward" to the way we populate the US. We already do.
Annie, it is probably the places that I hang out.
Don’t forget the Repunsel like fake hair extensions. Al though it may come in handy for roping some immigrants .
They can be made into lariats!
I believe such a world exists, Sean!
We know what sort of bang Corey and the other Trumpistas deserve.......
Thanks for the tip, Andy. The next time I'm walking home in the dark, I'll have my phone at the ready to flash that pic of Kristi to scare the bejeezus out of anyone who is suspicious.
Make sure they have a "Stand your ground law" in your state.
🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣🖖🏻
Dear Mr Borowitz, somewhere in your country a plastic surgeon is laughing all the way to the bank.
Average cost of facelift in Southern California is upward of 50K.
I bet the puppy killer got hers paid for by the tax payers!
😂😂😂Where did she find those 💋? Once she looked like a normal person.
https://share.google/images/oC7AyNDNAgtmRcH0w
Playing with the Devil costs...
Thank you for the link to illustrate the bizarre transformation. I think she was quite pretty before. What could make someone do that? It so extreme! I think there are a lot of people laughing all the way to the bank who have sold millions of women the idea that gluing plastic to your nails is better than your actual nails and shaving your eyebrows and drawing some on instead is a good think to do, and so on. I came of age in the early-mid 70s so I never understood how and why to do make-up on myself, so that's my bias about all this. Looking at all these MAGA women with artificially sculpted faces just really gives me the willies.
Yeah, my first reaction was "what happened to her face???" She had problems with ethics, for sure, but she looked ok. Now.... she just looks like someone who was mass-produced.
She was actually a pretty, natural-looking person, in my view.
That is my sense too. Actually more or maybe different than pretty-nice.
Could it be that she felt her inner self needed to align with her appearance?
Holy cow! She really did not do her self a solid. Too bad.
That's too weird. She's not even the same person.
She looked like a nice, happy person. Now she looks miserable and angry. :(
Shocking!
wow - like a Jekyll and Hyde transformation
I'm a woman and I'll be the first to make fun of her looks. No amount of plastic surgery is gonna conceal the evil oozing from her pores. They're all creepy looking af. Inhuman! all of them !!!
Unfortunately, the torture is also being inflicted on us.
According to the Ecuadoran, “I was afraid that whatever torture was done to her could be done to me.”
You win the Internet for the day!
That Mar-a-Lago face is scary.
Best hit on Kissy Noem's face is the SouthPark meme where her face is constantly falling off and slithering away. But it's still a coin toss on whether it's Trump or Kissy who spends the most time at the cosmetic counter.
Jay Deviance and Petey Kegsbreath are hiding in the Women's Coats rack, waiting to pounce.
She is beyond disgusting. Can’t think of anything clever after looking at her.
She could be the mascot of the Anaheim Ducks with those lips! And again another great photo from the Andy Borowitz Archives!
Hardly surprising - the dogs all run away when they see her.
Has anyone seen o photo of her before all that work was done? Cause she's had a shitload .
She was very pretty!
I just googled it and AB is correct. She was a nice looking woman. WTF happened to her to look so horrible?
Scroll up a bit to Linda Mcdonald.
Aside from the wig she's ok.