Amazing what reanimation with a few judicious jolts of electricity can do. I'm sure Elon will be investing in this medical breakthrough re immortality both for himself and his special spawn, if he hasn't already bought the company and then claimed he was the inventor. Then he can send his special immortalized spawn to colonize Mars, with the added bonus that their self-driving cars can't run over any pedestrians unless it's one of them.
AI can be used for good! A good laugh that is......thanks Andy! How about a celebrity dance match between Mitch and Elaine, and Fred and Ginger! Although Don might find out and fire Fred and Ginger, and replace them with Marco and Linda.
I wish I could laugh but anyone with the ability to see and hear knows dementia Don is incapable of rational thoughts and actions - his speech is always slurred, his remarks are incoherent and rambling. Yet mainstream media remains silent and of course any Republican who could actually hold dementia Don accountable refuses.
With any other Congress Trump would have been gone by now. These Republican Reps and Senators are the biggest criminals. Holding on to their seats eclipses the welfare of the people and the existance of our democracy. They are the real traitors allowing and enabling Dump and company to destroy our country.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂! Tbh, President Blabbermouth keeps yammering on truth social about how he is in very good health and aced all the tests. I’m like: yeah right you old fart. His body is a train wreak that happened years ago.
Btw, I’m not watching and listening to Trump speak on this coming Thursday evening at 9pm. I have better things to do like trimming my fingernails and toenails. His staff is going to spend how many hours getting him ready to appear on national television. They’re going to be pumping how much adderall into his body. 9pm and after. That is past his bedtime.
No photo from another hospitalization will prove moscow mitch still lives. He's been a member of the gop walking dead for a very long time. There's a bunch of them on the Senate judiciary committee. What irony that graham departed just a couple of days after his 71st birthday. Shakespeare could not have written a more compelling tragedy than the one we've all been enduring since the criminal in chief rode the escalator DOWN!
Hey Democrats Wake up. Two Republican Senators down, three to go. And I used to like Lindsey Graham until he became a Trumper with blinders on. Mitch, not so much
We are a week away from the emancipated Jan 6th MORONS marching on the DEMENTIA CLINIC. Maybe Diaper Don will go with them, if he can REMEMBER where it is.
As always, thank you Andy for calling out hypocrisy. Every day my head blows up: “vandalism” (rump ripping up the White House and DC); birth-right citizen (Barron/? Don jr, Eric , ivanka); chain migrants (Melania’s parents); green-card abuser Melania; “sleepy joe” (wow is this rich…$……..
The latest on Mitch’s recovery: https://substack.com/@borowitzreport/note/c-293680968
😂😂The stable genius of our current president is an illusion but your genius for satire and for making us laugh is undisputed Mr. Borowitz! 😂💕
♥️
Big fan of the ways you interact with us followers.
Never seen Mitch so happy or Elaine so giddy. He should have taken up tumbling in high school, rather than bloviating.
That was so wonderful!
Amazing what reanimation with a few judicious jolts of electricity can do. I'm sure Elon will be investing in this medical breakthrough re immortality both for himself and his special spawn, if he hasn't already bought the company and then claimed he was the inventor. Then he can send his special immortalized spawn to colonize Mars, with the added bonus that their self-driving cars can't run over any pedestrians unless it's one of them.
AI can be used for good! A good laugh that is......thanks Andy! How about a celebrity dance match between Mitch and Elaine, and Fred and Ginger! Although Don might find out and fire Fred and Ginger, and replace them with Marco and Linda.
We’re past cognitive tests. If you have eyes and ears, Trump fails every time he opens his mouth.
I wish I could laugh but anyone with the ability to see and hear knows dementia Don is incapable of rational thoughts and actions - his speech is always slurred, his remarks are incoherent and rambling. Yet mainstream media remains silent and of course any Republican who could actually hold dementia Don accountable refuses.
And we must make those Republicans pay for their obstruction and complicity in November!
let's see what happens Thursday with his big announcement - I picture an immediate coup and storming of the White House . . .
So accurate…silence is smarter than the blathering idiot’s mumbling
With any other Congress Trump would have been gone by now. These Republican Reps and Senators are the biggest criminals. Holding on to their seats eclipses the welfare of the people and the existance of our democracy. They are the real traitors allowing and enabling Dump and company to destroy our country.
YES!
Where does he find those awful Chairman Mao caps, stupidest looking item on his tiny NOSTRILLED face!!
Too funny.
We need a test for craveness. That would be a tighter contest with the advantage going to Trump.
Good idea. And hypocrisy. I have always believed that the definition of a hypocrite should feature a photo of Mitch.
or Lindsey, or Susan Collins....
According to former White House physician Ronny Jackson, Trump was able to correctly identify and pronounce all the Animal Crackers in the box.
which he ate, dipping them in ketchup
👍
That is 110% believable!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂! Tbh, President Blabbermouth keeps yammering on truth social about how he is in very good health and aced all the tests. I’m like: yeah right you old fart. His body is a train wreak that happened years ago.
Drooling Don forces us to see his pus filled eyes constantly, needs a good squeezing on live tv!
Btw, I’m not watching and listening to Trump speak on this coming Thursday evening at 9pm. I have better things to do like trimming my fingernails and toenails. His staff is going to spend how many hours getting him ready to appear on national television. They’re going to be pumping how much adderall into his body. 9pm and after. That is past his bedtime.
Also loading up on Plexaderm, too!!
You are the master! LMAO!
No photo from another hospitalization will prove moscow mitch still lives. He's been a member of the gop walking dead for a very long time. There's a bunch of them on the Senate judiciary committee. What irony that graham departed just a couple of days after his 71st birthday. Shakespeare could not have written a more compelling tragedy than the one we've all been enduring since the criminal in chief rode the escalator DOWN!
Chuck Grassley is next . . . talk about walking dead!
He certainly has hurt Iowa these past 20 years.
Yes, he needs to find a permanent restroom!
Hey Democrats Wake up. Two Republican Senators down, three to go. And I used to like Lindsey Graham until he became a Trumper with blinders on. Mitch, not so much
We are a week away from the emancipated Jan 6th MORONS marching on the DEMENTIA CLINIC. Maybe Diaper Don will go with them, if he can REMEMBER where it is.
As always, thank you Andy for calling out hypocrisy. Every day my head blows up: “vandalism” (rump ripping up the White House and DC); birth-right citizen (Barron/? Don jr, Eric , ivanka); chain migrants (Melania’s parents); green-card abuser Melania; “sleepy joe” (wow is this rich…$……..
tRump has singlehandedly destroyed D.C. . . . its an embarrassment, and he should be made to pay for all repairs from his own funds, not taxpayers.
He should use that flagpole he bought, to air himself out, publicly sans clothing!
oh, what an image!!
There's something uplifting from a Borowitz laugh with my first cup of coffee. I love these!
The true test is the Borowitz lift whilst drinking decaf.
Who would you say is more photogenic, the orange layered buffoon or the AI generated, marbled mouth moron?