True confession time: my tuxie boy, Eddie, got to where he would eat only Temptations. I was complicit. 😢 (he didn’t die of malnutrition. He ran away from home because my neighbor’s dogs — with whom we shared a yard — tried to kill him)
For the sake of Minneapolis and other ICE sites, suggest you gift Ralph to Kristi and tell Kristi to tempt him with sea-food flavored Temptations...America will thank you...
Dogs were also deeply offended when an anonymous source reported that Noem was caught humping Trump’s leg in the Oval Office. When questioned by reporters, Noem said, “Stephen MIller made me do it.”
Thank you to the courageous people of Minneapolis that have shown us how to resist tyranny and FASCISM. You have inspired the reasonable citizens of the USA. Thank you to canine nation for telling Kristi Noem to go fuck herself, if she can’t find Cory Lewandowski!
Well-said! I grew up in Minneapolis and agree: they are the best and are nice until pushed just a little too far. Many people have made that mistake over the years...
Biting sarcastic factual expose of just one of the cruelest soulless primitive creatures among the collection in Trumps comprehensively vast crime spree spider web!
Don’t forget the goats of this country! I’d like to see an independent psychiatric evaluation to determine if there’s a connection between the murder of Alex Pretti and Noem’s history of killing a goat and Cricket the puppy on the same day.
In adults, a history of animal cruelty is associated with antisocial personality disorder (APD), psychopathy, and other mental health disorders characterized by violating the rights of others.
Per Noem’s own book, the goat was killed because it chased children, butted them, and smelled bad. In other words, for being a goat. Stephen Colbert deadpanned…”speaking for everybody who’s ever been around goats…if those traits meet the legal definition of ‘dangerous, a threat, or injurious to life, limb, or property,’ killing any goat would always be legally justified.”
Is there a straight line from that “legally justified” shooting to Alex Pretti?
Pretti was a US citizen with a concealed-carry permit whose legal firearm was confiscated before ten bullets ended his life.
“Noem decided to kill the unnamed goat the same way she had just killed Cricket the dog. But though she “dragged him to a gravel pit”, the goat jumped as she shot and therefore survived the wound. Noem says she went back to her truck, retrieved another shell, then “hurried back to the gravel pit and put him down”. At that point, Noem writes, she realized a construction crew had watched her kill both animals. The startled workers swiftly got back to work, she writes, only for a school bus to arrive and drop off Noem’s children.“Kennedy looked around confused,” Noem writes of her daughter, who asked: “Hey, where’s Cricket?”
Hey, where’s Cricket??? In my homestate, a truthful answer to that question would have triggered a call to child protective services.
This is a little off topic. Read to the end carefully. I got this from a Canadian friend. [I told my friend I'd use color film.]
A MORAL QUESTION
Are you as moral as you think you are?
This test only has one question, but it's a very important one.
By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.
The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.
Only you will know the results so your answer needs to be honest.
THE SITUATION:
You are in Florida, Miami to be specific.
There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions.
You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster.
The situation is nearly hopeless.
You're trying to shoot career-making photos.
There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water.
THE TEST:
Suddenly you see a man in the water. He’s fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris.You move closer.
Somehow the man looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is.
It's Donald Trump!
At the same time, you notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever.
YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS:
You can save the life of Donald Trump or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize-winning photo documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful Republican men hell-bent on the destruction of America.
THE QUESTION:
Here's the question, and please give an honest answer.
Would you select high contrast color film or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?
Black and white if I have 2 cameras ready to shoot, one with color film, one with black and white film. If I only have one camera with film in it, whatever is in the camera will have to do. I wouldn’t want to miss the moment!
I'd assume this raging flood was sent to an immediately Donnie-Adjacent area for a greater purpose than little old me could grok, so I'd let nature take its course. Now, if there was a dog or cat struggling, even a goat, I'd go all in, even at the risk of ruining my camera and all my stored digital stuff. But The Orange One is just so much jetsam floating by. (So, no pearly gates for me, right?)
Cookie and Mousse agree.
All this gives one paws.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😹🙀😼😻
✅
God I hope you're a dad.
As does my kitty, Princess Leia, paws down!
An oldie from last year, but a goodie and a keeper...😻
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/hlKegN4x8rQ
LOL . . . I had not seen that before, thanks for sharing
Smart cat!
Wow… that’s amazing and crazy—- how smart is this cat!!!
Oh dear God! And I naively thought that crap was as unhinged as it could go! It's hard to see the endpoint of this madness, isn't it. Love the cat!
love it!
Ella the cat thinks the whole administration is
bat…. crazy!!🤢
my cat, Mona, agrees and she doesn't care about anything other than food and a comfortable place to sleep
From old required radio announcements: "Wee paws for station identification".
Awww 🐾🐾
Miss Alice Silvermittens Dingleberry Chonkachonka also agrees with the consensus opinion of cats. If that despicable Noem thing was a mouse…
Great name! 😍
My cat Sailor can’t believe she’s still alive. One cat bite around an ankle could cause an infection serious enough to put her down for good!
Ralph, my twenty-pound cat would rip her face off for a box of sea-food flavored Temptations.
True confession time: my tuxie boy, Eddie, got to where he would eat only Temptations. I was complicit. 😢 (he didn’t die of malnutrition. He ran away from home because my neighbor’s dogs — with whom we shared a yard — tried to kill him)
For the sake of Minneapolis and other ICE sites, suggest you gift Ralph to Kristi and tell Kristi to tempt him with sea-food flavored Temptations...America will thank you...
Merlin and Bandit will send some Temptations to any cat that helps in Noem's removal.
As do Ragnar and Ivar. Miauw!
My grand-dogs and grand-cat are on board.
I was wondering if they put you up to this…
Abbie cat also agrees...
As does my Bertie!
Dogs were also deeply offended when an anonymous source reported that Noem was caught humping Trump’s leg in the Oval Office. When questioned by reporters, Noem said, “Stephen MIller made me do it.”
“I would have humped the couch, but JD started growling at me.”
<double snort laugh>
TOO, TOO FUNNY - thanks for the laughs!
🤣😂
The imagery is hysterical. Thank you for the humor
😂😂
😳 🤣 🙄 🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣
Now there’s a picture🤣🤣🤣🤮
😂
<snort laugh>
Hahahaha! Good add! 😅😂🤣
Ewwwww.
She really is disgusting. and this just proves it.
🤣😂
The goats of America also agree!
Haha, my thought but you beat me to it.
Thank you to the courageous people of Minneapolis that have shown us how to resist tyranny and FASCISM. You have inspired the reasonable citizens of the USA. Thank you to canine nation for telling Kristi Noem to go fuck herself, if she can’t find Cory Lewandowski!
Minnesotans are the Ukrainians of the US.
Well-said! I grew up in Minneapolis and agree: they are the best and are nice until pushed just a little too far. Many people have made that mistake over the years...
Thank you from Minnesota.
I’m proud to say I had to look up who is Cory Lewandowski…
You should be proud, overall I am ashamed!
Noem’s 2-legged vibrator!
<snicker>
it was hardly worth your time, right? Just another psychophant in the clown car.
A very stupid and violent Clown Car
that hasn't passed inspection in a decade
Those MAGA evangelicals sure turn a blind eye to adultery, huh.
Apparently Cory is the one controlling things and Cowgirl only comes out of the trailer for cosplay photos.
She's just there for the optics, Lewandowski and Miller are calling the shots... literally.
IMPOOCH!
brilliant said the cat or MEOW !
Impooch Meow! :)
Excellent!
If you're too chicken to join the Army and too stupid to be a cop, you're perfect for the ICE.
especially if you have bone spurs
You win post of the day, Frank
I gratefully appreciate it, Betsy.
because you can still be a coward, but you now get to carry a gun and tear gas
and can't get a job want a break from mommies house
Oh, you can still stay at mommies’!
You reminded me of Jesse Welles' spot-on song about joining ICE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjGHf7OvglM
4 reasons to join the military: Family Tradition, Patriotic Instinct, Financial Disadvantagement, or You Wanna Kill People.
There’s their new ad!!👏🏼👏🏼
Repeat
Borowitz!👏👏
This is the best post in a year’
Biting sarcastic factual expose of just one of the cruelest soulless primitive creatures among the collection in Trumps comprehensively vast crime spree spider web!
More please
👏👏👏👏🎶
Cats and dogs. Who would have thought they had more common sense than MAGA Republicans.
Everyone!!
Wait. I thought the illegal immigrants ate all the cats and dogs. Could it be they were just making that up?
🤣🤣🤣 Yeah, they were totally making that up. Thank goodness Murphy is safe.
the MAGA Republicans are sheep . . . easily dominated by dogs, and the cats are just along for fun.
Excellent point!
My labrador retriever, Fiona Hill, is uncomfortable expressing negativity. However, she has said “ if I were to trash anyone, it would be this bitch”.
Great name! Fiona Hill is a hero.
Blue would love Fiona🐩🥰.
aww
Don’t forget the goats of this country! I’d like to see an independent psychiatric evaluation to determine if there’s a connection between the murder of Alex Pretti and Noem’s history of killing a goat and Cricket the puppy on the same day.
In adults, a history of animal cruelty is associated with antisocial personality disorder (APD), psychopathy, and other mental health disorders characterized by violating the rights of others.
Per Noem’s own book, the goat was killed because it chased children, butted them, and smelled bad. In other words, for being a goat. Stephen Colbert deadpanned…”speaking for everybody who’s ever been around goats…if those traits meet the legal definition of ‘dangerous, a threat, or injurious to life, limb, or property,’ killing any goat would always be legally justified.”
Is there a straight line from that “legally justified” shooting to Alex Pretti?
Pretti was a US citizen with a concealed-carry permit whose legal firearm was confiscated before ten bullets ended his life.
https://southdakotasearchlight.com/2024/05/02/noems-dog-killing-was-bad-but-consider-the-goat/.
https://sdlegislature.gov/Statutes/40-1-1.
“Noem decided to kill the unnamed goat the same way she had just killed Cricket the dog. But though she “dragged him to a gravel pit”, the goat jumped as she shot and therefore survived the wound. Noem says she went back to her truck, retrieved another shell, then “hurried back to the gravel pit and put him down”. At that point, Noem writes, she realized a construction crew had watched her kill both animals. The startled workers swiftly got back to work, she writes, only for a school bus to arrive and drop off Noem’s children.“Kennedy looked around confused,” Noem writes of her daughter, who asked: “Hey, where’s Cricket?”
Hey, where’s Cricket??? In my homestate, a truthful answer to that question would have triggered a call to child protective services.
Is there some horrible dark irony in her child being named "Kennedy"?
Her full name is RF Kennedy Jr Noem, only plausible explanation!
I would say psychopath fits the bill completely
Serial killers often have a history of animal abuse.
She should be neutered
It’s too late. She already spawned.
Insisting on their Second Amendment rights, they continued, "The only thing that stops a bad girl with a gun is a good dog with a gun."
🏆
One of the reasons Trump can’t fire her is the Peter principle: he won’t find anyone more incompetent to fill the job.
This is a little off topic. Read to the end carefully. I got this from a Canadian friend. [I told my friend I'd use color film.]
A MORAL QUESTION
Are you as moral as you think you are?
This test only has one question, but it's a very important one.
By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.
The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.
Only you will know the results so your answer needs to be honest.
THE SITUATION:
You are in Florida, Miami to be specific.
There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions.
You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster.
The situation is nearly hopeless.
You're trying to shoot career-making photos.
There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water.
THE TEST:
Suddenly you see a man in the water. He’s fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris.You move closer.
Somehow the man looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is.
It's Donald Trump!
At the same time, you notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever.
YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS:
You can save the life of Donald Trump or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize-winning photo documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful Republican men hell-bent on the destruction of America.
THE QUESTION:
Here's the question, and please give an honest answer.
Would you select high contrast color film or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?
first, 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 and second, black and white. I never want to see that orange tan (oxymoron? or just moron?) again.
Neither. Super-high-resolution digital is the way to go.
That’s a hard choice
😂😂😂😂😂
Black and white if I have 2 cameras ready to shoot, one with color film, one with black and white film. If I only have one camera with film in it, whatever is in the camera will have to do. I wouldn’t want to miss the moment!
which is the cheapest?
I wish substack had "Absolutely F'ing LOVE" buttons
I'd assume this raging flood was sent to an immediately Donnie-Adjacent area for a greater purpose than little old me could grok, so I'd let nature take its course. Now, if there was a dog or cat struggling, even a goat, I'd go all in, even at the risk of ruining my camera and all my stored digital stuff. But The Orange One is just so much jetsam floating by. (So, no pearly gates for me, right?)
Andy, I started laughing the minute I saw the picture of the dogs – didn't even need to read what they said!
Any dog that can fog a mirror agrees!
Actually, even hotdogs agree.
🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭
9 out of 10 hotdogs agree
😜