442 Comments
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Kathy Burgardt's avatar

Darn you Andy! I actually whooped for joy when I saw the headline. Such a disappointment when I saw your name - not that I’d want any harm to come to a Supreme Court justice.

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

Who says I never report good news?

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SyBen's avatar

The news we get from TBR is so much better than newspapers, TV news, and anything on social media. Thanks for making the day start with a laugh and a little spilled coffee.

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Trudy Stevens's avatar

I reacted the same. Such a downer seeing this was TBR!

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Erik Bruun's avatar

It's never a downer to discover you are reading a TBR headline. :)

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Ellen Hackman's avatar

It’s hilarious, but it could happen The whole scenario with Trump’s madness reminds me of some character in a Stephen King novel.

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Gabriele C Overweg's avatar

Well, his master hardly knew him, wouldn't have been a great loss.

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Trudy Stevens's avatar

You're sctually right, Erik. It didn't last long.

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Amy Cain's avatar

I AGREE 1,000%, Trudy!! !!!!

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JeffJ's avatar

Same here, Andy. But how come Pumpkinhead is giving Seth Meyers all the credit for satire? We TBR supporters demand equal time!

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Wendy Tucker's avatar

Yeah? You wouldn't? Of course.......:):):). Whoops there, Clarence. Johnny. Amy. ETC...

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Jeanne Golliher's avatar

I'm one that doesn't think this would be a good thing! I'd much rather him die of natural causes when a Democrat is in the White House. Imagining the miscreants that the miscreant-in-chief might appoint is the stuff of nightmares!

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Susan Stone's avatar

You make a very good point, although I'd like to see accountability catch up with him.

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Wendy S Morris's avatar

Scary thought, there are so many unqualified lawyers out there I'm sure tRump could scrap the bottom of the barrel for a replacement!

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Jeanne Golliher's avatar

Unfortunately there isn't a requirement that you have to have a law degree to serve on the Supreme Court. There has never yet been a Justice who was not a JD, but the miscreant-in-chief just loves to troll the establishment by breaking all the norms. Knowing this, now let your imagination wander through the potential nightmarish scenario. We might think that the reputation of the Court could not be any lower, but it really could.

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RJM's avatar

I imagine he'd appoint himself. He has so much free time, it wouldn't be a problem. Rubio may be maxed out but the Dictator On Day One (DODO) , not so much.

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Jeanne Golliher's avatar

Darn, I always thought I was fairly clever but how did I not realize dictator on day one = DODO until right now? (Face, meet palm )

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Nancy Morgan LeBar's avatar

Hey! A new name! I have been calling him the orange turd, but DODO is a good one.

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Wendy Gerrish's avatar

I think the Supreme Court's lowliness will precede all future new lows based on geostatigraphy.

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Probably nominate the broad who's filling in in

Virginia.

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Nancy Morgan LeBar's avatar

True.

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David T Moran's avatar

Local sharks probably stayed away from the trash left over.

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Italien's avatar

Oh gawd, me neither!! Gods forbid!!😈😏

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Suzie's avatar

Wishful thinking.

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Tricia Wilson's avatar

Maybe if we all wish h a r d enough.....And don't forget to click your heels

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DonnaCollins-Clerc's avatar

Wink wink 😉😘

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Margo Howard's avatar

Same here.

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felice's avatar

Why not?

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Rosemary Lerario's avatar

We are in such a stupid timeline this could be true

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sheri's avatar

Wish it was so...

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Amy Cain's avatar

Me as well, Sheri! SOOOOOO MUCH!!! !! ! !!!!!!

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Joellyn Keranen's avatar

Same here! My first thought was “I wish”!

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Kathy Minicozzi's avatar

Clarence Thomas should never have been made a Supreme Court justice in the first place!

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Cathy 98280's avatar

I’ll always believe in Ms Hill. sigh …

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Amy Cain's avatar

Andy B. said “Believe the Women”. Don’t u remember, Cathy?? ???? ? ? ????

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Penny Pawl's avatar

me too and I watched those hearing.

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Kristine's avatar

(And we have J.R. Biden to thank for that.)

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Stressed Sue's avatar

Right, Suzi! It was Biden’s biggest mistake when he dissed Anita Hill and let Thomas get away with the pubic hair in the Diet Coke. Supposedly Biden has written that this one one of the biggest mistakes of his life.

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Rick Khamsi's avatar

I remember that pubic hair being placed by Clarence Thomas on the top of a can of Coke, not being placed in it. Joe Biden certainly didn't add any glory to his legacy with that patriarchal tomfoolery.

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John Gregory's avatar

yes, he has apologized for it, or at least expressed his regrets - and not just because of the results, but because of the flawed process.

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Harvey Perry's avatar

The decisions of a few people have made big differences: e.g. this one by Joe Biden, Ruth Bader Ginsberg not resigning, Ralph Nader electing W, Jill Stein electing Trump twice, W Bush invading Iraq, Lyndon Johnson putting 500,000 troops into Vietnam, Hillary Clinton setting up her own email server, Jim Comey torpedoing the Hillary’s presidential candidacy.

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Kate Decker's avatar

Yes. this question you point out really bothers me a lot, too. There HAS TO BE SOME WAY TO IMPROVE the government so that a single person cannot irreparably run roughshod over the rest of us, with NO WAY TO STOP THEM -- especially for 4 years, or even forever.

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David T Moran's avatar

There is a way to stop the madness, VOTE out the people in congress and start over.

Push for term limits for congress and the SS court.

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Al Keim's avatar

Expand the supreme court to 21 members like a grown up country.

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Jane Gutsell's avatar

13 members, one for each District Court, which as I understand it, was the basis decades ago for expanding to the current 9. I think 21 is unjustifiable, but I think we can get 4 more.

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MLK's avatar

Exactly my thought.

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Kate Decker's avatar

Yes. Both your comments are excellent. It just seems to take too long, in view of the catastrophic law breaking and bullying at every level by the thugs running us into the ground. Term limits are a must, arent they?

When I worked on the Hill in the Senate in the 1970s, for Sam Ervin, on the Subcommittee on Separation of Powers of the Committee on the Judiciary, on the Hearings up to the Watergate Hearings, none of this current chaos was even conceived of.

Just completed the Harvard on line course titled American Government: Constitutional Foundations, taught by legendary historian Thomas Patterson of the Kennedy School. Good clear picture of where our government came from, how constructed, and how it functioned until now. It all seemed so rock solid. Now we see that our government was always vulnerable to criminal takeover.

Seems to me a careful, strong analysis is needed, to correct the clear vulnerabilities to our US Government structure. How do you see it?

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Al Keim's avatar

We could start with some third rails. Thou shalt not's with enough specificity to define explicit roles and actions with concomitant penalty.

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Jane Gutsell's avatar

Ah, the inimitable Senator Sam. My senator, and believe me how proud I was of that "simple ole country lahyah" during Watergate. A one of a kind.

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Alikhat's avatar

A careful, strong analysis *was* needed. At this point, it's highly doubtful any such changes will be made in the foreseeable future.

The time to correct course is *before* the ship hits the rocks, not after.

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John Gregory's avatar

though Hillary's use of a private mail server was A LOT less grave than the others you list. No harm was actually done, and it was not all that rare. (The DNC's emails were hacked, by the Russians and maybe by Wikileaks, but Hillary's were not.)

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Al Keim's avatar

A single person with the Senate and House of Representatives and six Supreme Court members.

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Al Keim's avatar

Merrick Garland not performing his role as lead consul for the United States of America.

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Finn Frock's avatar

Biden stayed too long! Jamie Harrison is not the leader we needed in the DNC. Luckily he is gone now. Look at the disaster we face as a party and what is at risk. The Attorney General gets blame for some of this as his decisions on prosecution were slow and late. The problem is that the AG wants to be fair, but he should be on a war footing. Dems and Trump MAGA extremist are not going to be reaching across the isle. Fairness is our doom as a party. I am a 77 year old Vietnam Veteran and I was looking for a fighting democratic party and to beat trump before I die. Trump is the most dangerous man in the world, and we cannot even prosecute him. I hope it is not too late. I think Adam Grant has articulated the Biden Delima that has everyone crazy. Here is his take on judgement error by those preaching to Biden. "After his shockingly poor performance in last week’s debate, President Biden is facing mounting pressure to drop out of the 2024 election. Influential voices in his own party have called for him to step aside. Polls indicate that many voters hope he will. Yet so far, he is staying the course. There’s a name for this trap: escalation of commitment to a losing course of action. In the face of impending failure, extensive evidence shows, instead of rethinking our plans, we often double down on our decisions. It feels better to be a fighter than a quitter. One of the tragedies of the human condition is that we use our big brains not to make rational decisions but rather to rationalize the decisions we’ve already made. "

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Phil Ellerin's avatar

Good list of happenings which went bad; the world turns on many of these unfortunate events……unfortunately!

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felice's avatar

Everyone does something stupid or thoughtless from time to time. Only Maggots ( sister's epithet) do them all the time to get even -- or wealthy.

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Harvey Perry's avatar

Sometimes it makes a big difference.

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Dana Campbell's avatar

Don't forget Mitch! These House leaders can cause a lot of harm, too. And, of course, John Roberts.

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Brenda Reiss's avatar

Etc., etc

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EJN's avatar

Newton’s Third Law of Motion…every action has an equal and opposite reaction…you nailed it Perry!

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RJM's avatar

I don't blame democrats. Nader and Stein, yes, but not Biden or Ginsberg. If the other side had been ethical, honest, thoughtful, committed to the rule of law, etc, Biden at the Thomas hearing and Ginsberg staying on the court would not have happened or, if they did, would not get any notice.

Let's give discredit where discredit is due, and not try to take tiny bits of the blame off the huge and highly blame-worthy shoulders.

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Wendy Gerrish's avatar

If only Comey had mentioned the ongoing trump investigation-in the same sentence.

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Kristine's avatar

You make a good point that Biden and Clarence Thomas was not the only disaster.

Add to the list Biden's decision to run again, despite years of evidence that Americans thought he was just too old.

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Alikhat's avatar

You could easily say the same for two-thirds of the court.

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Elizabeth Block's avatar

Yeah. Affirmative action. Nixon wanted a conservative Black judge with decent qualifications. How many were there?

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John Gregory's avatar

it was Bush Sr who nominated Thomas.

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Elizabeth Block's avatar

You're right. Still affirmative action, I think.

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Was it? That's interesting.

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Suzi Harkey's avatar

You consistently amaze me with your wacky imaginative brain! So good! Just so good!

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It's Come To This's avatar

So much for waving the flag upside down in "distress" position.

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Kathy J's avatar

LOL, I rarely use that acronym anymore, but it applies!

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Annette's avatar

I'm sure Mrs. Alito will make sure the flag is upside down on Thomas' casket.

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Kate Decker's avatar

Yes -- And do you ever wonder what that huge multitude of fascinating synapses in the Borowitz brain must look like? An awful lot of them, all making incredibly wonderful connections, that no one else could have figured. Then we see what comes out, and laugh ourselves silly. :-) Truly some sort of alchemy. :-) !!

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Annette's avatar

I personally think it must look like the Northern Lights . . . graceful, colorful . . . a joy to behold.

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Kate Decker's avatar

Wonderful comment! You are probably right. I like your concept. :-)

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Moonstone7's avatar

Have you read his book "Profiles in Ignorance"? A masterpiece.

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Kate Decker's avatar

I got my copy last year. Yes, Profiles in Ignorance is wonderful. I have been collecting and reading Andy Borowitz's books for ten years or so. Truly in my view this is the most original, brilliant satirist this country has produced since Will Rogers.

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

I so agree...but I'm still surprised the guys

in the masks haven't carried him off yet.

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Paul Snyderman's avatar

I suspect it's not the multitude of AB's synapses but the fact that they are actually cross wired so that they put things together in the most unexpected (hilarious) ways.

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Kathy Kalber Kinsella's avatar

It was the worst of times, it was the stupidest of times…

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Patricia Taylor's avatar

“When you’re going after narcoterrorists, every now and then you’re going to hit a Supreme Court justice,” he said.”

Hahahaha! And he killed the one who most needed killing! Ah, if only . . .

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It's Come To This's avatar

Ah, Clarence. We hardly knew ye...

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Annette's avatar

that's for the best, I'm sure - the little we do know is revolting

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Elisabeth Birker's avatar

😂😂

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L B Rose's avatar

Well, narcoterrorists are all clearly non-white and/or not from the Barbie mold. So this was simply an honest mistake.

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Omar Tarif's avatar

Rescue operations are being slowed significantly by an unexplained 1,000,000% spike in fentanyl concentration amidst the wreckage.

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Italien's avatar

They’ve resorted to drug smuggling, I tell ya!! You have to keep upping the thrills!!😂😂😂

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Annette's avatar

Ginni is tRump's drug mule

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MLK's avatar

Perfect job for an ass.

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Italien's avatar

😂😂😂

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Kate Decker's avatar

They've been doing it for years, I have heard. :-)

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MZ's avatar

So to the point!

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Democracy Defender's avatar

It’s actually a really good time to send the 6 Supreme Court justices on cruise to the Southern Caribbean to see what Hell they’ve unleashed with their extra constitutional immunity ruling. If by chance…

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Italien's avatar

Yes, send them all together!! Oh no should something happen!😏

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nacreplus2's avatar

There's precedence. Hegseth called the entire top military to one spot and announced it in advance.

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Cathy 98280's avatar

He’s an idiot.

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Annette's avatar

he's an idiot's idiot

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Italien's avatar

Goes without saying!!😏🥳

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Italien's avatar

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, that makes me psychic!! Yes! Put them alll in the same place…

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L B Rose's avatar

I might even approve of using my tax dollars for that venture.

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Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

Or invite them to a picnic at the East wing of the White House- or what’s left of it.

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Annette's avatar

"oh, just brush off that asbestos dust, you'll be fine"

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Democracy Defender's avatar

May I suggest an invitation to the pouring of the new Epstein Ballroom Foundation might be appropriate? "Your Honors, please don't get to close to the edge. . . oopsie daisy . . ."🤷🏼‍♂️

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William R MEYER's avatar

Epstein Ballroom Foundation. What a worthy cause. I am going to borrow this idea this with your permission, Democracy Defender. I think we should have penny cans spread around for others to chip in to help build this symbol of what America has become.

"Outside, the hungry children cried. Inside, the wealthy guests, in fancy dress, danced on."

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Sue Laubersheimer's avatar

Don’t tease me like that.

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Linda Mitchell, KCMO's avatar

I know, Sue--RIGHT?!?!??

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marlew's avatar

But at least they will be spared from any kind of awkwardness when the supremes get around to making interracial marriage illegal again.

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Wendy Tucker's avatar

Wonder what Anita Hill would have to say about it. She's far too refined and scholarly to comment. But she could give Ginny a coke can and a set of manicure scissors.

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Amy Cain's avatar

ALL the way from WALTHAM, MA?!??? !? ?????

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Elisabeth Birker's avatar

There is that! Phew!

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Patti's avatar

If only.

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nacreplus2's avatar

first words to run through my mind, too!

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Sandra Hardie's avatar

You beat me to it, Patti. Shortest post I have ever written. And most heart felt.

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Michael's avatar

The Navy should have known better. The yacht was in the shape of a floating RV, clearly not a dangerous vessel.

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Jim's avatar

Great, but the next craven Trump appointee will be 25 years old and around for 50 years 😱

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CARLA M LA ROSA's avatar

And this is why Democrats must win the White House, the Senate and the House so SCOTUS can be expanded to 13 justices, equal to the number of circuits. This must be the FIRST act by the Democratic administration!

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Kathleen D. Pierce's avatar

I said this in 2021. Fecking Dems just don't have FDR energy anit it DRIVES ME CRAZY! Especially after how Turtle-Turd Mitch stole 2 seats on the high court 🤬

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CARLA M LA ROSA's avatar

Schumer is too old school. He has got to step down and hand the leadership position to someone else. Every time I see him standing at that podium with his red reading glasses at the end of his nose, with his face buried in the script, I just want to SCREAM!!!

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nacreplus2's avatar

good point!!

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Annette's avatar

I've heard Big Balls is in line for the job

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Wendy Tucker's avatar

I am so so encouraged and gratified to know that I am not alone in having you -- Andy Borowitz-- come up with scenarios which are my wishes. AND to know that I'm in good company with others who yearn for the same.

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Zoe and Joy's avatar

Brilliant again, Andy!!! Thank you!

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Cheryl Martin's avatar

Pardon my snort.

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