623 Comments
User's avatar
Andy Borowitz's avatar

Happy Friday, everyone! I plan to spend Sunday rewatching Nixon’s resignation speech on YouTube. That never gets old.

Pam Pearson's avatar

I like that idea, and I’ll be playing CSNY’s song “Carry On” which is what they played at their live concert when the news broke!

Anna Shuster's avatar

I would join you doing that but I’ll be going to hear Beethoven’ 9th Symphony on Sunday afternoon.

Anna

Dr. Judith Schlesinger's avatar

Did you know that Beethoven was completely deaf by the time the 9th was written and performed? Instead of clapping at the end, his audience waved their handkerchiefs!

David A L's avatar

What a contrast - Beethoven was physically deaf and a genius, while Trump is psychically tone-deaf and not a genius at all, stable or otherwise.

David Carson's avatar

Did not know about the handkerchiefs. Thanks.

Dr. Judith Schlesinger's avatar

You're welcome! David, there's a lot of misleading information out there about Beethoven, who was hardly the scowling, antisocial person most people think he was. His deafness first appeared and started worsening at about age 30, leading him to avoid people - not because he disliked social situations, but because he was so embarrassed by his growing handicap.

Judy Shaffer's avatar

Thank you for posting.

Sam Popkin's avatar

I can think of someone I’d like to see waving a handkerchief…

John Townsend's avatar

Let our handkerchiefs be green to go with the crocodile tears when Trump leaves

in whatever way possible....

Anna Shuster's avatar

I did. Amazinf!

Louise's avatar

Hearing that piece "live" with a full orchestra is very moving! It reaches right into you!

Enjoy!

Margaret MacKenzie's avatar

I think that glorious symphony will be played worldwide when, sooner or later, Donny is no longer….in office.

Jerr's avatar

Go ahead and say it, no longer for this world!

Annie D Stratton's avatar

Actually, I'm enjoying the creative generation of euphemisms for the passing of DJT to some other realm. I've started collecting them. Just added both of these. Jerr's has a nice inflection in that pause, and yours is an elegant reprisal of an old one that is delightfully vague. (I just realized that my opening sentence actually includes two euphemisms!)

John Townsend's avatar

Back to Mars where his hair color goes with the planet's.

John Townsend's avatar

--and for Vance, a new composition, "Blonde On The Sofa" with live

cushion springs among the orchestra instruments!

Jay F's avatar

Heard the NY Symphony Orch play it in Central Park decades ago, will never forget the opening notes rising out of the darkness.

Elizabeth Block's avatar

Once when George Szell was conducting it, in (I think) Prospect Park, there was rain in the forecast. He told the audience that since they had come for the last movement, he'd start with that. He did, then started from the beginning, did the whole symphony -- and the rain held off.

Anna Shuster's avatar

Heard it in NYC many times including central park. Now in Canada.

One of my faves

Annie D Stratton's avatar

I love listening to symphonic music outdoors. Sadly, have not had that opportunity for some time. Perhaps that will change when the event we are hoping for finally happens. Sitting happily in the dark listening in peace and relief. I don't care if it is snowing that day.

Ellen Rosewall's avatar

A great Ode to Joy and human friendship!

Stephen's avatar

I will be attending that event at the Overture Center in Madison. Is that where you will be?

Anna Shuster's avatar

Toronto Symphony Orchestra in Toronto Canada

Paula's avatar

No, Alpharetta, Georgia.

David A L's avatar

My all-time favorite composition is his 5th - the 9th is a close second, followed by some Pink Floyd and Dylan (gotta mix it up a bit)

Anna Shuster's avatar

Ties with 9th as #1

Michael R Busman's avatar

I believe that he was deaf or almost deaf when he composed symphony #7 which is also one of my favorites along with #9.

Lauren Albrecht's avatar

I just pulled that up - WOW! Good one!!

J Cheng's avatar

I will be flying to Reno and having a great time with coworkers I haven’t seen in person in a year. Three of us have June birthdays which is enough to overshadow metamucilini’s day

.

Joseph Randazzo's avatar

Hello Andy,

Thanks a million for the ever-present and constant dose of sanity. I dedicated the first section of my book to you. You can see it on Amazon, it's called Sunday Pages, A Book of Dreams Lost and Found. https://www.amazon.com/Sunday-Pages-Book-Dreams-Found/dp/B0GZBSM3C9 Select the "see inside" feature any you can read it.

Many thanks,

Let's agree to outlive the bastards.

All the best,

Joe

Kimberly Swanson's avatar

Too funny! Wish I’d thought of that, but I was still a child when Nixon resigned……

Leslie's avatar

I was also it's not too late to immerse yourself in GOP defeat and become educated about how they operate. It's a simple code "winning and power means EVERYTHING cheat, lie, steal, and harm whomever necessary to get ahead" Nixon as abysmal a human as he was still had a gram of decency left in that he actually admitted to what he had done and left. That will not happen in this administration because there's too many people that don't pay any attention to what is going on AND news is no longer news it's more like social media. During the Nixon era the US still actually had real news, multiple agencies that provided the SAME news. There was no Pravda propoganda channel (Faux News) it couldn't have survived in that era.

Jerome Vanderberg's avatar

I remember that episode well. It was 1974 and I was 39 years old. Republican leaders in Congress told Nixon that it was highly likely that if he didn't resign, not only would he be impeached by the House but also convicted by the Senate. If so, this would have been the only time in American History when a President was not only impeached by the House but actually would have been convicted by at least a 2/3 vote of the Senate. As one can see, the Republican Party in those days were quite different from the Republicans that run our country now.

Leslie's avatar

I was 8 lol. But my parents openly discussed politics and news at home. So was probably exposed to a lot of information that formed my points. Absolutely agree the GOP of today lost their way long ago. But I'm more of the opinion that America lost her way from that point going forward... when we allowed Corporations to set policy and rule. I'm old but not very old but I sure have cultureshock. They are THE SAME Republicans that dictated Bush v Gore and I was old enough to remember that precisely. They have financially engaged in voter suppression for decades, the just redraw districts when that doesn't work they pull some challenge to valid legal votes or get technology involved...hanging chads etc etc.I do not recognize this America at all we lost our way decades ago.

Leslie's avatar

*Formed my opinions...AI is the new "helper" that changes words you wrote to words IT prefers lol

Leslie's avatar

Well yes for starters but what exposed Nixon was print news the Washington Post ...that independence doesn't really exist anymore. Next to nobody orders newspaper delivery and most ignore news entirely or god forbid get it on Utube might as well be Facebook or tik tok. And what they do see is a large percentage of BS but they believe it just like the Fox News folks etc.

Patrick's avatar

I think I'll watch Nixon's Checkers speech. I always choke up when he gets to the part where Pat has to wear a respectable Republican cloth coat. I guess it was either a fur coat for Pat or Kibbles for Checkers. Anyway, at least Pat has a modicum of fashion sense. I seriously doubt she ever wore a hat resembling the Hamburglar's.

Jerome Vanderberg's avatar

At the time, Dwight Eisenhower was running for President, with Nixon on his ticket to become Vice President. Eisenhower announced that unless Nixon could show himself "as clean as a hound's tooth", he would be dismissed as his Vice Presidential candidate. After Nixon's speech, "IKE", who was one of my most favorite presidents, kept "Tricky Dick" on his ticket - in my opinion the worst mistake that "IKE" made in his life.

Chicagoshirl's avatar

That's on YouTube's Greatest Hits list. A classic. Enjoy!

Timothy Cooper's avatar

I'm going to celebrate the removal of Trump's name from the Kennedy Center, a small victory, but a symbolic one, a brief sense of relief for me

- Karen Cooper

Frau Katze's avatar

And he’s furious!

Pradnya Sikand's avatar

Happy Friday Andy, Thank you for timing your wit and mischievous humor to land in my inbox at the same time as my restorative gin& tonic! 😉I could follow your lead and watch All the President’s Men and get an eyeful of Robert Redford but I think I’m going to watch Fred Astaire dancing up a storm in Top Hat ! 😂💕

Patti Powell's avatar

Watch both! All the Presidents Men is wonderful and reminds what we can do.

Susan McIntosh's avatar

I'm planning on cleaning the litter box.

John Townsend's avatar

Fitting!

To bad we can't tilt the national White House litter box right into the Potomac!

Barbara Marling's avatar

I am going to load up a DVD that I ordered a week ago and watch a production, originally done on one of those wonderful TV programs that no longer exist, of the very famous Clifford Odets play Awake and Sing which centers on a group of people living together and struggling during the Depression. It just feels like a fitting time to watch it.

Mary F Englebert's avatar

I plan to spend it napping so I can stay awake for the Hurricanes' BIG WIN. I will dream of a bunker-related outcome to some of the serious issues facing all of us.

Sandra Stoffel's avatar

True, True! True. Thanks for putting a smile on my face. The last thing I'll be doing is watching any celebration of that idiot's birthday!

John Townsend's avatar

Would love to see Trump wave good-bye! On second thought, would love to see him

just go!

Deborah Hewitt's avatar

Going to a no kings protest

Claudia Classon's avatar

I’d rather clean the men’s room at Penn Station than celebrate that shithead.

Ransom Rideout's avatar

You and Andy Kim are most admirable and patriotic.

Paul's avatar

can woman "write their name in the snow?" the way men can?

seems like an awfully large marking...that must have taken weeks....

Annie D Stratton's avatar

It's Flag Day, too. It's not about Trump, though he has been trying to make it seem that way. A lot of folks all over the country are ignoring him and celebrating Flag day in traditional ways. Putting out a flag. Going on a picnic. Having a BBQ. Going to a concert. I'm putting out my flag upside down. It'll go right side up when there's a reason for it. I think Sunday will be a good day to just be with family.

BTAM Master's avatar

As a non-believer, I plan to spend the day praying for a killer evening storm in DC. If it happens, I might just be converted.

(And if it does happen, waiting for Trump to explain how it was Biden's fault).

BTAM Master's avatar

I admit I have not studied The Bible, so I must thank Lee Lenard, who explained this in the Meidas Touch comments:

Biden is a very devout Catholic and sincere in his religious belief and participation. So if there is a severe storm, especially with massive lightning, it is Because Biden called the Pope and had him get in touch with God to disrupt trumps party.

It's Come To This's avatar

Praying for a derecho to hit the White House lawn -- and only the White House lawn.

Susie's avatar

Thank you for teaching me this new word for which I will now wish with all of my heart!!!

Selma Lynch's avatar

That would be epic!

Annie D Stratton's avatar

Tornado would be a better choice because it is more focused. Dorecho winds go in a straight line and take everything in their path out. Don't want that.

BTAM Master's avatar

Amazing what you can learn reading Borowitz comments.

Omi's avatar

My friends & family were surprised when I sent out a text asking everyone to pray for a very special event… specifically to pray for the Gods to send their most powerful storms (all day and night) to DC! They understood my sudden interest in religion and have all agreed to join the effort.

Jerome Vanderberg's avatar

But it's much too late for 40 days and 40 nights to work this time.

Linda Carlson's avatar

I 2nd that! I will be at our farm, digging in the dirt, checking on the gardens and just enjoying the outdoors in rural America!

Susan Anton's avatar

But won’t Trump be dead?

BTAM Master's avatar

If he's dead, he would definitely blame it on Biden.

Christine Payne's avatar

And with a monster lightning strike hitting the claw!!

Sue Frederick's avatar

I'll be volunteering at a Pride Festival at the Voter Registration Booth. Great way to Avoid MAGA!

Fred Brown's avatar

Sunday I will celebrate the new peace deal with Iran and all of the pigs flying through our skies

J.'s avatar

And lower fuel costs, food costs, housing costs, and prescription costs. All in one fell swoop.

Maggie Dunbar's avatar

I think that's actually supposed to be "one swell p**p"

Sara Nichols's avatar

Making voodoo dolls of the Russian Asshat, I mean Asset.

Elisabeth Birker's avatar

Darn it! I hoped you meant asshat !!

John Townsend's avatar

You had it right both times!

Elizabeth Sutherland's avatar

Watching the Rise Up and Sing concert on YouTube. Looking forward to seeing Bette Midler sing ALL YOU FASCISTS GONNA LOSE!!!

Deb Bassett's avatar

I’ll be joining a bunch of Democratic friends here in Central Florida for a watch party of the Rise Up and Sing Out concert. We’ll have desserts too! (I’m sure nothing orange … we’re keeping this free of any resemblance to The Tangerine Turd )

Luke's avatar

Democrats in central Florida?

Terri Ann Pollock's avatar

Me too, with a bunch of Indivisible comrades.

Annie D Stratton's avatar

I forgot about that. Thanks for the reminder.

Carole's avatar

I will be trying to remember how to spell "dumB". So difficult to know and remember.

The Observer's avatar

Hmmm. Looks like it might be an Inside job…

Andy Borowitz's avatar

As theories go, that be best.

Elisabeth Birker's avatar

😂😂. It seems maybe she DOES care😂😂!

Philip Lilienthal's avatar

Taking out the other garbage

Roger Fradenburgh's avatar

Praying for a lightning storm.

Barbara Marling's avatar

I’m praying with you Roger!!!

Paul Kuzel's avatar

Natasha strikes again!

Caitriona Gillespie's avatar

Well, best of luck, since she failed to kill Moose & Squirrel. 🫎🐿

Margaret MacKenzie's avatar

All 42 of us who liked this are aging ourselves 🤣

Lou Harris's avatar

I was hoping to have a colonoscopy but my gastroenterologist will be respecting the American flag instead, unlike the flag hugger, or flugger. I wonder if he ever held the flag with his mom; if so, would he be known as a mother flugger?

Stephen's avatar

Yes. It will be Flag Day. I wonder if tRumpelshitskin knows what that is.

Margaret MacKenzie's avatar

Of course, the day was declared when he born. Like, we gotta flag this guy. He’ll be a menace to society someday.

Jerome Vanderberg's avatar

You went and spelled "menace" wrong. It should properly be spelled "mean ass".

John McCloskey's avatar

Now I'm disappointed that I didn't schedule a colonoscopy for that day. I can't think of a better way to spend that day.

Eileen Sorrentino's avatar

🤣🤣

Frances Snedeker's avatar

We have organized a watch party for 50 friends to enjoy the Rise Up Sing Out concert that Jane Fonda has put together in NYC.

Jane Carr's avatar

I’ll be rereading The Gettysburg Address and The Declaration of Independence! Certainly will find better things to do than watching garbage!

Gerald Murphy's avatar

I’ll be at the “No Kings” rally at the State Capitol in Hartford part of the time, then watching World Cup games on TV (too expensive to go in person).

I just read Andy’s comment about Nixon and wanted to brag for a second: I was standing in Lafayette Park right outside the White House for Nixon’s resignation speech, standing with a group of around 40 people behind one of the network reporters. My mother even saw me live on TV.

Just before the speech began, I noticed someone on the second floor of the White House parting the drapes to look outside and see if anyone was in the park (yes there was a crowd). I couldn’t see the person’s face, I’ve always wondered if it was Nixon himself, or Kissinger, or maybe the long-suffering Pat Nixon.

Four days later, I flew to Cameroon to serve as a Peace Corps volunteer for 2 1/2 years and missed the entire Ford presidency.

carol corsaro's avatar

That is absolutely awesome!!