The Borowitz Report

The Borowitz Report

Profile in Awfulness: Howard Lutnick

Andy Borowitz's avatar
Andy Borowitz
Feb 04, 2026
∙ Paid
Andrew Harnik/Getty Images

Amid the revelations in the latest avalanche of Epstein files lurked a particularly sleazy one about Donald Trump’s Commerce Secretary, Howard Lutnick.

It turns out that Lutnick, who has sworn that he cut off his relationship with the pedophile in 2005, arranged to have lunch with him on his private island in 2012—four years af…

This post is for paid subscribers

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in
© 2026 Andy Borowitz · Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start your SubstackGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture