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Jeaneen Stephansky's avatar

I knew he was going to be on Meet the Press. I recorded it because I can barely stand the sound of Cotton's voice. Haven’t watched yet and after reading this from Andy I think I will skip it altogether.

I heard his comments after viewing the 2nd strike video "righteous" is the way he described it. Meanwhile the Honduran cocaine king pin is now spending time with his family for the holidays. Because he addressed Trump as "your Excellency" in his letter. WTF?

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

I think I deserve a medal—possible from FIFA—for watching Meet the Press despite knowing Cotton would be on.

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Brenda Reiss's avatar

Your medal should be from the Comedian Hall of Fame, because comedians speak truth to power and idiots. Maybe that's the same thing

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M G McBride's avatar

If it weren't for Andy Borowitz, Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel & Jimmy Fallon, and people on You Tube whose names I cannot come up with right now, I'm sure I would not have two brain cells left to rub together to create the will to go on with hope that there is still hope. (There's still hope--right?)

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Mary Barbara Alexander's avatar

And Heather Cox Richardson

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Nancy "Bee" Bayerle's avatar

Amen to Letters from an American! HCR ROCKS!!

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M.E. Lawrence's avatar

Can we now call her the Notorious HCR?

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D ODonnell's avatar

And Mary l Trump

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Jean-Pierre Gariépy's avatar

Yes, there is hope. Montréal is sending to our friends all it's love.

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Thank you so much, Jean-Pierre. We are devastated

by the disrespect this orange moron has heaped upon

your country, and all others for that matter. Please accept

our heartfelt apologies and our love back.

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Jean-Pierre Gariépy's avatar

Everything will be find. Canada survives the orange moron. We call him piggy ... No offense. Merci !

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jon Hodson's avatar

Especially Justin T. to his favorite first lady.

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Paul Ehrenzeller's avatar

Cue Gary Puckett and the Union Gap’s “Woman, Woman!”

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Angie Longenecker's avatar

Or the many of tPUMP’s women/wives etc. like Stormy or Malaria

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Mary Roeser's avatar

Merci bien. Mille fois merci.

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Gordon Shumway's avatar

Merci beaucoup! Will you take me in? :^)

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Liy Egan's avatar

And don't forget Jon Stewart and John Oliver please

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M G McBride's avatar

Oh, yes! Of course!! Thanks for waking up the weary brain cell.

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Lee Roscoe's avatar

Yes the young comics on the Daily Show, Desi Lydic, Ronny Chieng (love his anti AI rants) and Jordan Klepper, oh and Josh Jordan.

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Dr. Judith Schlesinger's avatar

Please add The Contrarian to your list for more reason to hope!

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Paul Ehrenzeller's avatar

And Robert Reich!

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William Neer's avatar

That list of names above keep us sane and hopeful...they are all brilliant.

Yes...there is still hope...just 11 months until the midterms ...and you will see a huge change for the better.

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Today we might get a Democratic Miami mayor!!

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Steve Newman's avatar

Yup, counting the days till we can put the brakes on this asshole.

That said, still taking even money he doesn't make the full 4 for any reason.

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J Cheng's avatar

I'm part of a trio where we take turns sharing a brain cell........

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Mark P Howard's avatar

How to say that you’re an orange cat without saying it

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Hilary Sanders-McKenna's avatar

Yes, more hope every day. Keep the remains of faith going!

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LV Jan's avatar

And Randy Rainbow. Have you seen the latest? It’s to Cabaret! It’s brilliant, as always.

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D ODonnell's avatar

It is incredible. Everyone should watch it at least once.

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Judith Richards's avatar

I hope so, no pun intended. Wait, maybe my brain did intend that pun. It's hard to keep track...

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Susan Barnes's avatar

Don’t leave out Randy Rainbow!🌈🌈🌈

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Rebecca MacGregor's avatar

And Senator Adam Schiff.

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John Townsend's avatar

At 'im Adam!

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Mirla G. Raz's avatar

Add Jeff Tiedrich to the group.

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Rebecca MacGregor's avatar

And our friends at Pod Save America!

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Tricia Kezeli's avatar

So TRUE!!!

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Sue Munda's avatar

And Jonathan Larsen (The Fucking News), & Jay Kao, Joyce Vance!

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Pradnya Sikand's avatar

The things you do for us Andy 😂 with such brilliant results! Truly appreciate your watching that insufferable man Cotton! I think Profiles in Awfulness would be a fitting sequel to Profiles in Ignorance and with this lot your magnum opus would run to several volumes 😉

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Katherine James's avatar

Your willingness to "take one for the team" again and again blows my mind some mornings, my friend.

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Nancy "Bee" Bayerle's avatar

Like, EVERY morning @AndyBorowitz

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Annette's avatar

Absolutely, and not one of those cheesy "participation awards"

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Nancy "Bee" Bayerle's avatar

Was any time allotted for his cousin, "Oxy"? I believe he was a college buddy of RFKKK Jr....

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Merrill's avatar

Beware! Watching Tom Cotton can lead to CDS ..Cotton Derangement Syndrome. Almost as damaging as Trump Derangement Syndrome.

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jon Hodson's avatar

Not to mention the MAGA affliction TAD: Trump Adoration Syndrome.

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Merrill's avatar

Good one. Sounds like a life threatening affliction.

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John Townsend's avatar

It is!

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Karen Yoho's avatar

Yes, I find that sooooo nauseating! Obviously, they can't see how shallow, idiotic, mean-spirited, self-centered...you get the point, he is. I just shake my head every time one of his acolytes speaks and can provide not one simple fact about anything their hero has done.

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Christina Johnson's avatar

You deserve combat pay. Cotton can only go lower than Sanders, because the bar has been removed. It cannot go any lower. It’s not even a minor speed bump.

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Wis's avatar

Andy, you deserve more than a medal!!

What's really sickening is that this hypocrisy and blase, insidious lying has become the norm. I honestly cannot watch or listen to any of these soulless, selfish, intellectually diminutive cretins. It affects my blood pressure. I only "hear" what's being said by reading TBR and HCR and a couple other 'stacks. And the NYT.

So, Andy, I say that you deserve prizes more worthy than any phony medal PIFA doles out (for which, incidentally, I half expect trump to appoint a Secretary of Soccer to his cabinet). No, you deserve a tickertape parade, a solid gold trophy (preferably made from melted down doo-dads yanked from trump's White House) and a holiday named after you, just for weeding through the swamp of lies and greed and slime churned out by this dictatorship.

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Karen Yoho's avatar

I so agree that Tom Cotton was just horrible on MTP. I wouldn't have expected anything different since he's always awful. Andy, I don't think you want an award from FIFA. Frankly, a made-up award from such a corrupt organization is the only one that our corrupt dear leader should receive.

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Lucy Conner's avatar

Thank you, Andy, for sparing us from watching cotton. Your sacrifice is admirably appreciated!

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Oaktown's avatar

Two medals—one for this sentence alone (ré wormbrain Bobby K): "He has poisoned his brain to such a degree that it’s remarkable a worm found it habitable."

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Judy Sherwood's avatar

Of course: The Andy Borowitz Golden Global One-and-Only Peace Prize for Exceptional Tolerance, Patience and Amazing Insights.

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Bruce Maslack's avatar

I’ll write to FIFA about your medal. You have to understand though that I don’t seem to have as much influence in this matter as does President Trump.

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Koko in AZ's avatar

The FIFA Peace Prize?

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Elisabeth Birker's avatar

And I like soccer! ⚽️

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Elisabeth Birker's avatar

I think you deserve a medal, Andy!!! You deserve the real thing though! Not some verkackte shit piece created by an awful, shifty, corrupt, laughable man and organization.

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LHS's avatar

WTF is my new middle name.

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J Cheng's avatar

I've progressed to WTFF...what the f'ing f.........

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Joyce Wolff's avatar

I’m an 89 year old white lady and proper - but it’s become my middle name as well.

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D ODonnell's avatar

Brava Joyce!

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Susie's avatar

This!

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Billsburg's avatar

It’s become my immediate response to almost everything I hear now from these creatures.

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Alice Elliot's avatar

That was my comment. Thanks

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Brown Cecelia Linda's avatar

LHS I think every news reporter is saying (that’s my middle name)!

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Finn Frock's avatar

There is no FBI to investigate and follow the money from a Honduran Drug Kingpin to Trump offshore accounts.

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Jeaneen Stephansky's avatar

Has to be money involved!

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E. Sherman's avatar

No. There is ALWAYS money involved.

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John Townsend's avatar

Yeah, again!

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Paul Ehrenzeller's avatar

Saw on the news this morning that the Honduran Attorney General has issued an international arrest warrant against Juan Orlando Hernández for earlier corruption, so there’s hope!

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CARLA M LA ROSA's avatar

The Honduran AG better get security immediately. Trump will likely threaten him.

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John Townsend's avatar

Yeah!

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Annette's avatar

Kashyap is too busy making sure his girlfriend avoids the airport lines and gets express service for her travel.

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SCS - Michigan's avatar

$$$$$ likely involved.

Just guessin'

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Ellen Harris's avatar

Bitcoin plus sycophantic fawning of ego seems to be the winning combination

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Corlis Robe's avatar

Thanks for the reminder about Cotton's voice.

I like the skip-straight-to-Andy suggestion.

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Terri's avatar

I think so, too. And for ever having had to listen to Leavitt. And just maybe for every TBR since 2016 or somewhere thereabouts.

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Elisabeth Birker's avatar

WTF 🤬 indeed!!!

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Pam Smith's avatar

It's BEYOND repulsive

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Brown Cecelia Linda's avatar

Janeen. WTF is right. They (the rethuglicans) always speak out of their Ahole!

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Peaceful Mary T.'s avatar

He's a horrible, horrible man! Welker did pretty good trying to call him out, but he just doubled down. He makes me gag, along with all the rest of 'em. What a bunch of useless ass-lickers those Republicans are.

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

Welker was ok, but the format of MTP now appears to allow her only one follow-up question on each subject. That means an experienced liar like Cotton easily disposes of the follow-up with another lie, and she meekly moves on to the next subject. It’s frustrating to watch.

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Al Keim's avatar

The aggression of Tim Russert is sorely missed. MTP is the hot seat. We don't get a look behind the curtain very often and this show should be the fourth estate's chance to snarl back at the BS inflicted on US.

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Wendy Tucker's avatar

Tim Russert -- I remember him so well, and miss him so much. He took no shit from no one. His son Luke is trying, but has been relegated to mc-ing the 'forums' on MS-Now. The apple did fall far.

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Al Keim's avatar

Genes will only take you so far. Luke probably has a different mix of assets.

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Wendy Tucker's avatar

I must apologize for my deplorable use of the double-negative. 'No shit from no one'==Mea Culpa. What I meant to write was that Tim (may he rest in peace) took no shit from ANYONE.

Luke is ok, but just that. But no one could ever rival Tim. No one.

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Al Keim's avatar

Don't matter no how Wendy. Dominic go frisk 'em.

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Susan B's avatar

She needs to try "the weave" - maybe that would get better responses

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Peaceful Mary T.'s avatar

True - I don't watch MTP often enough to have noticed that, but you're right, Andy! Thank you for pointing that out. It is very frustrating, and probably one of the reasons I don't watch it much anymore!

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Wendy Tucker's avatar

Has MTP wussied down? Is Bari Weiss advising?

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Agnes mcfa's avatar

I no longer ruin Sunday mornings with any of those shows.

What good does it do to hear the lies by maggots who defend tRump? Just makes me angry and frustrated.

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Wendy's avatar

Agnes, you're right. I call them the Sunday Morning Agrevation Shows. All I do is yell at the TV.

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Gabriele C Overweg's avatar

No, no, not ass-lickers, in Germany we would say Mastdarm Acrobat. Sounds kind of "sporty".

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Sharon's avatar

Unfortunately, none of our mainstream press seem to want to incur the wrath of tRump!! Where is Walter Cronkite when we need him!! Thank God you’re picking up some of the slack!

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Susie's avatar

Useless ass-lickers will be their band name I hell! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

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John Townsend's avatar

Brown-nosers and brown-tongues!

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Brown Cecelia Linda's avatar

Peaceful Mary. I think a lot

Of us are saying the same thing 💩

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Meighan Corbett's avatar

I have never watched those Sunday news shows as they are just a venue for very tepid reporting and for the administration (especially this administration) to pull out some pretty stupendous lies. If cotton cares about kids, where's his outrage over dismantling the department of education.

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Judith Richards's avatar

I don't watch them either. I'd rather take Murphy for a walk or to the dog park 🐕

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Mauimom's avatar

Especially if Murphy needs to comment by taking a dump.

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Thomas Taylor's avatar

Cotton is rotten. But Sanders is grander.

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Katherine P Duncan's avatar

I don't cotton to Cotton.

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Al Keim's avatar

I'm trying to pick a favorite.

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Susie's avatar

Just 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

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Annette's avatar

Sanders is a piece of work . . . rising to the level of her incompetence, she and her dad can go pound sand.

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John Townsend's avatar

--if they can even do that.....

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bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

Time to recycle Cotton!

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Annette's avatar

into rainbow ribbons for the Presidential Medal of Freedom

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Wendy's avatar

No, please don't recycle him. Just throw him on the rag pile to be disposed of or wiping our demented president's a$$

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Annette's avatar

excellent options, Wendy - especially the second!

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bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

Excellent suggestions!

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Judith Richards's avatar

😂😂😂🫠

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MLK's avatar

Bernie is grander, Sarah is a POS

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Annette's avatar

as is her father

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Linda Mitchell, KCMO's avatar

Since Arkansas is the state responsible for the Walmart-ification of the rest of the world, it is unsurprising that Old Tom Cottonmouth thinks that slapping an American flag on everything he says makes it all okay (if you recall that is what the Waltons did when they were expanding their "brand"). I have friends from Arkansas and colleagues at universities there and we stand in solidarity together, those of us in Missouri, Arkansas, Oklahoma, and Kansas: four of the most idiotic and venal state governments in the USA, despite Laura Kelly's attempt to hold the line in KS. Andy, I have a request: I would love for you to reveal the utter moral and ethical black holes that are Andrew Bailey (former AG in Missouri) and Kris Kobach (current AG in Kansas and was one of the more repellent of my colleagues at UMKC) because they have national political ambitions and both of them are utterly nauseating humans.

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SCS - Michigan's avatar

Kris Kobach is odious. Sets a new low for alleged humans. (former Kansan here).

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Linda Mitchell, KCMO's avatar

Oh you have no idea (I have stories)

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SCS - Michigan's avatar

No doubt!!! Where does a worm like Kobach gestate?? Or all the other repugnant Republicans? Who knew there were so many heinous hyenas in America (apologies to hyenas)??!!

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Debi's avatar

I have been wondering what genetic defect/aberration creates these GOP creatures, whose humanity is alleged but not proven. (Apologies to hyenas, but I love your descriptive "heinous hyenas")

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Let's hear'em!

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DEBORAH K's avatar

Please publish said stories!

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Linda Mitchell, KCMO's avatar

I really can't (not my stories to tell) but let's just say his colleagues in the Law School were not fans--and that law schools in general are often centers of inappropriate behavior on the part of male faculty and female students (have witnessed this is several places and with several people). So not surprising at all given what a piece of shite he is.

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Charles Wagner's avatar

Why did you leave Indiana out of your state denunciations? Hoosiers are working hard to surpass Louisiana. A candidate for congress in Indiana said she believed the legislature would do the right thing. (We are being re-gerrymandered for Trump.). I will not even know what red district I am in until Friday!

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Linda Mitchell, KCMO's avatar

Believe me: I am well aware of the problems of horrifically execrable state governments in the Heartland. I have witnessed the debasement of state government personally in Indiana (went to grad school there in the 1980s) and Missouri (was purple when I got here in 2008) but really no region is immune. I lived in western NY State for 17 years, in the most impoverished county in New York, and the Albany government treated us all like something they stepped into and tried to wipe off from the soles of their shoes. Both Democratic and Republican governors. I am highlighting my immediate neighbors because, unlike places like Florida, we often get overlooked in the awfulness indices and the genuine battle that blue cities like Kansas City have with the state governments is ignored.

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Sharon Herrick's avatar

You make an extremely important point here---no region is immune. At first, like Andy, I was thinking that Arkansas should feel awfully embarrassed and then all these other states were added in (and they left out Kentucky, home of Moscow Mitch!) but you remind me that there are people who did not vote for Trump in all of those states and, frankly, we ALL should be embarrassed by what our country has become. Folks like Tom Cotton, though, should be tarred and feathered.

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Bonnie's avatar

Please add Iowa to your venal state group.

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Elaine Young's avatar

And Florida

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D ODonnell's avatar

Goes without saying.

A true cesspool.

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Pam Birkenfeld's avatar

It’s hard to be humorous about such rot.

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

Trying.

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Judith Richards's avatar

And doing a great job with the absolute shit that's keeps on keeping.

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Judith Green's avatar

Like court jesters of old, you speak truth to monarchic power with piercing humor - and you never look the fool!

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Annette's avatar

your last sentence was the best!

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Susie's avatar

Succeeding.

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John Townsend's avatar

--and succeeding!

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Erik Bruun's avatar

Worthy of a Quisling Award, though it is a very crowded field!

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Annette's avatar

how about: "Quisling: The Next Generation"

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Fred Bowers's avatar

Tom Cotton also calls killing the crew of the boat as Righteous. That’s an odd way to describe killing people, especially since there is no war.

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SCS - Michigan's avatar

White Christian Nationalust language.

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Charles R's avatar

He obviously is referring to protecting rich kids since he loves cutting benefits to poor ones.

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Eileen's avatar

Thank you for shining a spotlight on the Cottonmouth Snake. Too easy to lose sight of him in the morass.

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Cindy La Ferle's avatar

Well said, Andy! Like everyone else, the Trump administration's glaring hypocrisy makes me sick. As Andy points out, Trump’s "outrageous pardon of former Honduran President Juan Orlando Hernández," who was convicted of flooding the US with hundreds of tons of cocaine, has gotten little criticism from the GOP. These people don't care about anything but their own big asses.

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Lee Miller Atkinson's avatar

Andy, I LOVE how you are speaking out and calling out the hypocrisy that abounds in this administration. As you said, I just hope I'm still here to watch the Hague proceedings on TV. Keep up the good work!

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Annette's avatar

if media networks really want to strike it rich, they should set up a network devoted to the Hague, 24/7, coverage . . . coming after ConOLD eats that last double cheeseburger and filet-o-fish

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Sean M Carlin's avatar

I find myself choosing to watch paint dry versus ever watching Cotton in an interview. He is a poor excuse for a human being.

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Marta Waller's avatar

Right on the money. Cotton is evil and incredibly ignorant and/or stupid. Thanks, Andy!

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Annette's avatar

A brutally scathing assessment of Slender Man #2 (Jared Kushner is the inaugural creep). Excellent piece, Andy!

As I understand, Tommy Rotten felt the two survivors of the initial blast were just waving, enjoying their fragile hold on a PIECE of a boat. They were "not incapacitated" (aka dead) so they must have been enjoying their cruise in the middle of freakin' nowhere, holding onto freakin' nothing. Rotten also argued, " that President Donald Trump did not have to seek congressional approval if he continued boat strikes..."

What is your end game, Senator Rotten? What do you want from the bloated yam, so much that you would sell your soul? And I'd like to hear your explain, to your own kids, why this act of presidential and defense incompetence is perfectly acceptable to you. You are indeed an embarrassment, not only to your state but your country.

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Wendy Tucker's avatar

Thank you! Outstanding comment, Annette.

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Barbara Wilson Parks's avatar

So well stated.

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John Townsend's avatar

Amen!

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misia.d's avatar

Yup!

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Annette's avatar

thank you all - its just so sad this comment has to be made, and Tommy Rotten is only one person in this farce of an administration.

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Robyn Boyer's avatar

The obvious thing that everyone doesn’t say is: how the hell would a 10-11 passenger boat motor 1,000+ miles to Florida on one tank of gas? And Tom Cotton should stop embarrassing himself. A good example of dedicated stupid.

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