342 Comments
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Suzi Harkey's avatar

What a great way to start my day! You’re the best!

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

I can’t tell you how much this means to me. I love working for all of you.

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Suzi Harkey's avatar

Oh, Andy! Truly! You keep me sane! Your daily missives help me laugh through the pain! You are a blessing to us all!

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Patrick's avatar

Yes, Andy is my blood pressure medicine!

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BTAM Master's avatar

You have earned "Employee of the Year."

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J Cheng's avatar

I don't know how I would cope without you and TBR! I literally get upset when I don't have my TBR.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Yeah, it's like tantrum city.

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arlene butler's avatar

And you work hard to make the disgusting, frightening and deplorable funny! That is a true gift you share with us! Thank you!

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Meighan Corbett's avatar

At the end of your life, you will look back and know you did what you could for the country. How satisfying! That's why I go out to these protests. I have to do what I can.

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Marjorie's avatar

Yes! Worldwide No Kings Day, October 18.

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Barry Blue's avatar

Maybe we’ll all be in the same re-education camp!

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CBA's avatar

You are a bright ray of sun shining forth from the septic tank of trumpism!

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BTAM Master's avatar

I need brain bleach after that image.

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CBA's avatar

I've needed brain bleach since 2016, but who's counting?

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Chris Fox's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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Cindy Froggatt's avatar

Andy, you deserve the “Keeping the Peace Prize” - I’d be insane without your humor.

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Zinnia's avatar

We like you, too. More canine pics PLEASE...asking for a friend

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Katharine Hill's avatar

You took the words out of my mouth, Suzi.

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Marilyn Jackson's avatar

I couldn't agree more. I check the weather and then check to see if Andy has posted something to brighten my day.

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Suzi Harkey's avatar

Exactly!

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Kimberly Swanson's avatar

I check for TBR before I look for anything else!

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Andy brightens the state of affairs and the weather.

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Mary Farrell's avatar

While I can’t stand to look at his face that pic is hilarious Andy!! He is such a buffoon.

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Billsburg's avatar

I try to avoid his picture but looked at this one after reading your comment. Looks like my mom’s face after her stroke.

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Pat Ebervein's avatar

Even worse, trying to avoid his voice. Listening to him literally makes me feel sick. I use closed captions and turn off the sound when he speaks.

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Pam Birkenfeld's avatar

I don’t even watch!

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Suzy Fraser's avatar

I can't stand the sight of him or the sound of his voice. Absolutely noxious!

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Cathy Wampler's avatar

Me, too.

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Frau Katze's avatar

With you there!

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Marmo's avatar

Me, too, Pat Ebervein. Usually I FF past when he's on the screen. If I must know what was said, then I Mute and use the captions.

His voice litereally makes me nauseous. It's worse than his face because on Mute, I can laugh at his bad make-up job, tiny eyes, squishy mouth, and a waddle that Colbert said looked like a Georgia O'Keeffe painting.

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D Schmitt's avatar

@Billsburg, the lip droop is exactly what I saw first. He may not last long and that may be the plan behind the scenes all along.

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bruce schneider's avatar

The right lip droop has appeared in more than one picture, I believe. Unless he always smirks to the left, looks like isolated weakness of buccal branch of seventh cranial nerve (facial). Could be anything from Bell's to a tumor, but looks local.. Rest of facial muscles look intact (though revolting).

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Judy Sherwood's avatar

several indications of TIAs... the droop being an obvious one. His gait is another, hand action or lack thereof. Loss of coordination, balance. Unaware of time/place. And - language - deterioration! Commented upon by media in UK. Apparently, staff keeps 'propping' him up, pushing him out the door.

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Marjorie's avatar

Yes, he looks and walks like a human sofa.

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MLK's avatar

Uh-oh! Human sofa Dump might get jumped by Vance.

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Cathy Wampler's avatar

Oh, I can picture it. It’s “Weekend at Bernie’s.”

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Marmo's avatar

I do not think that bunch is beyond a "Weekend At Donnie's" staging. Dump sucks all the attention out of every day, while they unravel the rights of American citizens. So, as long as they can prop him up and make him do outrageous things, they're happy.

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Jonathan Aborn's avatar

Thoughts and prayers……..(sarcasm)

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Barbara Greer's avatar

(Sarcasm) not necessary. One can have atypical thoughts and prayers. This case warrants them.

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LHS's avatar

See photos of him at last month's 9/11 memorial. The right side of his mouth is clearly drooping. https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/president-donald-trump-attends-a-september-11th-observance-news-photo/2234860395

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D Schmitt's avatar

Yes, it is a continuing issue.

Thanks for the detail.

Medical school was way tougher than law school, I dated a med-student back in the day.

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bruce schneider's avatar

Also, I've seen this with Lyme Disease, AND it's been reported in association with neurosyphilis, one of my ongoing diagnostic possibilities, given his mental state and known predilections.

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MLK's avatar

Neurosyphilis gets my vote.

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D Schmitt's avatar

Syphilis and Lyme Disease - a germaphobe's nightmare, oh my.

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CARLA M LA ROSA's avatar

Geez, I hope you're right about him not lasting long. But, I remember all the rumors about Putin being deathly ill years ago, and it definitely wasn't "deathly" enough.

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Frau Katze's avatar

There’s so much speculation about Putin’s health that there’s a Wikipedia page on it:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claims_of_Vladimir_Putin%27s_incapacity_and_death

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Simply Susan's avatar

That was my reaction to this photo as well. Something is going on with this "perfectly healthy" man.

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SummerGink's avatar

I’m so sorry about your mother, but that’s exactly what it looks like: that he had a stroke. One side is his angry mouth, the other is a twisted version of a smile. And he never smiles!

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The Rickster's avatar

It’s such a great picture that screams many words.

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Sharon P's avatar

We should vote this picture or the new TIME magazine cover . And the hits just keep on comin'!

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Nancy Morgan LeBar's avatar

I am enjoying the smile on the Emir's face.

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Kent Olsen's avatar

I can't stand to see his face or hear his voice. My worst nightmare ever. Andy is my savior!

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Barbara S's avatar

Love the look on the sheik’s face. And the contrast between the soft, lily white hand next to that orange face

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Glenn Ebo Perry's avatar

Qataris at Mar-A-Lago?

They’ve got to be fools; or brave.

For the short -term Fate

Of the Sunshine State

Is to sink beneath the waves.

The Qataris may try to stop the sea,

Saving dunes and planting grass;

Bear in mind, of course,

An abundant source: all the sand

Pounded up Trump’s ass.

And the locals may not be happy

The Qataris will go too far;

Building towers that reach up to the sky

Like the skyscrapers in nearby Dubai,

Close, but no Qatar.

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Glenn Ebo Perry's avatar

Kate! I love your verses! You are really smart and subversive and witty.

Are there any more like you at home?

I would have written you a letter but, perhaps in response to all the triggering by Trump, I developed trigger finger(s) on my good right hand and can’t hold a pen

But I won’t despair. It may be Gauche or even Sinister, but I’ll use my right brain and my left hand.

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Kimberly Swanson's avatar

“For the short term fate of the Sunshine State….”

Love it! Maybe that’s why I keep my home in Virginia.

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Glenn Ebo Perry's avatar

You know, Ms. Swanson - I shall call you “Gloria” from now on.

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Susan Stone's avatar

"Close, but no Qatar" -- absolutely priceless. BTW, I researched tall buildings in Qatar, and even though they have some tall ones, they are no match for Dubai.

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Kate Decker's avatar

:-) !! Yep.

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Sam Popkin's avatar

Stanza 2, classic! I confess I became your BIG fan upon seeing your masterpiece, “A Day in the Life of a Maine Clam Fisherman.” I bow to your genius, pal. ❤️

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Charles R's avatar

Trumpstein first offered a fully-staffed Pentagon, but that deal fell through when Kegeseth was included. Even corrupt despots have their limits our Great Leader found out.

Wait until the sheiks see all the dirty diapers!

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Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

Is Mar a lardo really an upgrade? Cleaning the ketchup from the restaurant walls will bankrupt their treasury.

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Annette's avatar

and don't even start with unplugging the toilets for discarded documents - apparently there are no paper shredders there?!?!

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John Townsend's avatar

The shredded documents are thrown in with the compost along with a lot of other things.

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Annette's avatar

by compost, do you mean Melanoma's bedroom? hehehe

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Bob Clark's avatar

Another upgrade: Rename rooms for famous people in the Trump orbit. For starters, The Epstein Suite. I'm sure there are others that come to mind.

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matclone's avatar

Down the hallway from the I-Never-Knew-Her reception room.

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Annette's avatar

the Roy Cohn penthouse

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Robert E.'s avatar

The gold plated two holer Trump Shitter.

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Annette's avatar
7hEdited

BYO Poo Pourri

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Kate Decker's avatar

Hilarious comment!!

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Cindy Froggatt's avatar

There’s gotta be a Golden Shower Room in there somewhere.

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MLK's avatar

The Jes Staley Sauna.

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John Townsend's avatar

The Maxwell Massage Room!

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matclone's avatar

The Frauds of Honor room, with a plaque memorializing those who have dedicated their service to Donald J. Trump. Recipients to date include: Roger Stone, Paul Manafort, Michael Cohen, Michael Flynn, Steve Bannon, Allen Weisselberg, Kenneth Chesebro, Jenna Ellis, and Rick Gates.

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Bob Graham's avatar

The Epstein Sweet.

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It's Come To This's avatar

The Double -Wattled Cassowary in the White House was too rattled by his own Dorian Grey portrait to figure out a response. He's still worried Bette Midler might belt out a new one for No Kings Day.

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Erika Rosenfeld's avatar

She already did! Last night, on Colbert, she sang the perfect lyrics—acapella, no less!

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It's Come To This's avatar

Yes, beautiful!

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MLK's avatar

The best portraits of Dump are in South Park.

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John Townsend's avatar

If only Better Midler would belt him in the mouth!

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ROSEMARY SCHLICK's avatar

Thanks, Andy. Laughing through my tears again. I'm going down fast, but your wit is like one more gasp of what we all need: art, our last best hope.

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Diane L Donato's avatar

We all are extremely happy that you don't work for those craven companies. You are a breath of fresh air and a rainbow after a trump shit storm!

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Kate Decker's avatar

Yes. Andy Borowitz's moving out of the Corporate Orbit and into Substack seems to have been a move made in Heaven.

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John Townsend's avatar

--and especially on earth!

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Kate Decker's avatar

Excellent! Yes! :-) !!

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Frank Luongo's avatar

In a related development Mohammed Bin Salman has expressed disappointment that he had been promised Mar A Lago as a reward for Saudi Arabia's investments with Jared Kushner, the President's son in law. But in a grand gesture of reconciliation Bin Salman said he would gracefully accept an airbase in Idaho as long as it was near Boise, a place he has become fond of. "It has a lot of water" was his comment.

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Barry Blue's avatar

Crown Prince Bonesaw, meet Corporal Bonespurs. Get to work!

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William Turner's avatar

Yet another home run today, Andy. Keep 'em coming!

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Gary Farrar's avatar

Meanwhile. the U.A.E offered 300 million for the Epstein files.

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L B Rose's avatar

I wonder why Putin hasn't put those files on eBay. He could build himself another few golden castles as he watches Agent Orange explode. I'm sure his hackers have the files. He's waiting for the right time...

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MLK's avatar

Agent Orange: Fantastic!

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John Townsend's avatar

They outbid Putin?!

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Barbara Greer's avatar

And Trump considers any best offer a sale! Haggling makes him nervous, he wants the cash NOW.

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Jay F's avatar

Not to mention the mosque alongside…Hegseth attending has his flask confiscated.

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lizzienw@aol.com's avatar

Truly, this is one of the best ideas yet.

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Judith Richards's avatar

Thank you for my first smile of the day! There hasn't been much to smile about lately, but you manage to find the humor.😁

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Diane L Donato's avatar

Hopefully, like me, you will be on the street Saturday protesting against the puppet buffoon and his puppeteers, Miller and Vought. It's up to the people. At 84 I am Philly strong!

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Annette's avatar

Amen - thank you for your voice. Unfortunately I will be out of town, but I've heard my local rally is going to experience a counter-rally by a Charlie Kirk group. I will pray for all protesters this weekend. Be safe out there!

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Nancy Morgan LeBar's avatar

Our local Charlie Kirk fan club was out on Main Street yesterday. I'm sure they will show up Saturday, but WE THE PEOPLE will out number them.

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Annette's avatar

that's the spirit . . . they have every right to share their voices, even when they're terribly, terribly wrong

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