Except for one thing: I like those Amur tigers. And I wouldn't want one to have to be near trump. That said, it would probably scare the shit out of trump, because they are very large, very opinionated cats. Maybe trump should be in the cage, with the tiger running around loose?
I was hoping that this shithole president would be sent to Russia. I think Putin would be happy to host him for a short layover and then to ship him off to a gulag in Siberia.
if he lives that long and can remember how to get there. On another note, I have guessed that the rage induced posts that he does on truth social are Ketamine induced disassociated hallucinations.
Putin would gladly show him the window view from top story of kremlin. He could give him his special treatment of how fast you can get to the ground floor
Wouldn't it be wonderful if Putin could invite him for what fof THINKS is a Big (bigly) Deal Major Award, complete with a parade, military goose-stepping, bands playing, followed by a banquet and speeches honoring him. But when fof is escorted to podium, he's cuffed and gagged and hauled away. Off to the worst of all possible prisons. Meanwhile, Melanomia and Putin will high five and hump in full public view.
I’m always looking for something interesting. Years ago, NYT travel show actually had a booth for travel tour to Chernobyl. You can’t make this shit up. Me wife and I did not go, but did take memorabilia.
I’m sure you are regretting passing up such a radiating opportunity, John🤔 But you are in luck: I heard you could get a 1000% discount if you buy your ticket within the next two weeks🤓🖖🏻
Wow thank you for that piece of information. The thug in the White House and his barnacles always bolster themselves by punching down. They bring out the worst in all of us. There is no group that can any longer claim nobility based on being oppressed. Just look at those of us who put this bastard and his thugs in such powerful positions, every gender, ethnic group, race , religion and socioeconomic group is represented.
Said another, "And we're not worried for our brethren already in the U.S., as we believe your non-drinking president meant to say it's sommeliers - wine stewards - he's planning to get rid of, shipping them off to tastings in the Condo."
I don't think the country of Condo would let him in. Can you imagine the orange man standing in an airport (if he didn't already have people making arrangements for him) arguing with an airline service rep, insisting he has to go to Condo? They wouldn't take that shit for one second!
I am almost speechless that our country is being run by a third grade bully and the military
by an insecure drunk who is out to prove his “manhood”. I’m in my eighties and have never seen the country in such a mess with no sense of honor or integrity
I'm 72 and so with you on all of this. I remember living in DC during Watergate hearings and grateful the hearings happened and Nixon out. That should have happened here but now the GOP are just enablers/co-conspirators.
Ditto to Debra & Ellen. I also remember the Watergate hearings, and how the elected officials finally came around and voted against Nixon. Some were in tears, but they did the right thing. Very nostalgic.
Me too. We lived through the apathy of Ike, the increasing loathing of LBJ, Tricky Dicky (& short lived Spiro), Poor Old Bewildered Ronnie, Papa & Dubya Bushie, -- we made signs and waved our fingers in the air and had rallies and talked about how horrible they were. But the sheer unadulterated fury at this demented and inherently cruel creature exceeds anything. ANYTHING.
That's impressive. Of course I lived through the Norman invasion and the Crusades. Then, after lunch I had to sort out the Battle of the Somme. All in a day's work.
Andy, you stole that from me. I have been hocking my friends for years that all this bullshit started with Reagan and "welfare queens in Cadillacs". Have any of these idiots every interacted with someone on government support? Of course not. It's not a fun life.
With T it’s simple. If you’re not like me or you don’t at least pretend to love me, you’re out, stupid & need to be punished.
This kind of thinking cuts down on all that effort of unnecessary pesky thinking. When he says many of his big decisions are from my gut I think maybe his acid soaked brain somehow ended up in there.
These nighttime incoherent rants and daytime unscheduled naps show that Metamucillini is in serious mental decline and his sundowning is extremely dangerous.
Trump is spiraling out of control. His handlers must be having fits right now.I love his name Metamucilini. It’s so apt. He just keeps pooping over everything and everyone. He can’t stop.
Dumpy's words about Somalis were disgusting. There is another group, that is part of our citizenry, that should not vote for Dumpy. I am even more disgusted with the gutless wonders that are supposed to represent us. There should be a united voice that is loud and clear; HE IS THE WORST, MOST IGNORANT SCHMUCK! WHAT HE SAYS IS TOTALLY DEPRAVED AND SHOWS HE ONLY CARES ABOUT HIMSELF. IMPEACH IMPEACH IMPEACH
You nailed it as usual. Sometimes I wonder how you can keep coming up with funny stuff when the rest of us are wringing our heads and crying. Keep it up! Thank you! ❤️
The real garbage are the Trump family. They are unintelligent takers who scam and take but contribute nothing;r ather they desecrate the airwaves, our democracy and what can you expect from a child raised by a sympathetic Nazi and Klan father and grandfather. All you have to see is his hair, skin and his lack of knowledge, culture or aesthetic taste. He is a fucking disgrace to humanity.
He's always projecting... Also, don't forget that the original money for buying up New York real estate came from a California gold rush brothel. Come to think of it, maybe that's where the weird fixation on gold originated in the family.
Your statement is very much like the things Trump says about people he needs to demean in order to justify his existance. Do you really feel so uncomfortable about who you are that you need to emulate him?
Andy is a satirical trumpy is spouting his true beliefs. I don't believe Andy is emulating him. He is trying to show people just how big of a creep our current "leader" is
If I had to choose between living next to a Somali or t rump, the choice is obvious! This is coming from a New Yorker who lives less than a mile from t rump's childhood home. T rump is unhinged and a disgusting excuse for a human being.
I am really curious about who wakes Trump from his public naps. Has anyone seen a clip of that? Do they nudge him? Or do they wait until he wakes himself up?
I think they all pretend not to notice, and act accusatorially against anyone who points it out. There! it didn't happen! Just like reducing the number of COVID tests available reduces the number of people dying from the disease. It's magic!
I absolutely LOVE the info that tourism to Somalia is surging. I know you don’t make this up, Andy. Unlike Metamucillini and his sycophants, you tell the truth.
While Metamucilini is scaring away tourists by sending troops to US cities, tourism to Somalia surged 50 percent last year. (I am not making this up!)
When Trump calls Somalis “garbage,” I respond: how many Somalis are in the Epstein files?
I would prefer having 100% Somali neighbors to one MAGA in my hood.
me too!
And me.
Moi, aussi.
Moi aussi, encore!
Ego, quoque!!! That's "me, too" in Latin!!!
100%
You’re almost too good, Andy!😂😂😂. Naah…keep ‘em coming! Thank you❣️
Ever grateful you only speak the truth, Andy!
This is one of the best comebacks I could imagine.
That should terminate further speculative geographical aspersions.
Not holding my breath.....
Two more weeks and we'll find out if they've AI'd any in or not.
YES!!! BRILLIANT!!!
Zilch-o-rama!
I am hoping when we deport Trump, Somalia will agree to imprisoning him.
You would do that to Somalia?? I would suggest a gulag in Siberia as a fairer choice to everybody.
Gulag in Siberia? Perfect! Russia should be stuck with him.
Preferably the gulag where putrid imprisoned Mr. Navalny. With luck, putrid will get trapped there as well🤨
Yes, universe make that happen, please!
Oh, Susan! Great minds run in the same vein!
I like the way you think, Natalie! You've put a smile on my face.
--right along the anti-anxiety meds many of us need with Trump!
Next to a cage with a Siberian tiger!
Except for one thing: I like those Amur tigers. And I wouldn't want one to have to be near trump. That said, it would probably scare the shit out of trump, because they are very large, very opinionated cats. Maybe trump should be in the cage, with the tiger running around loose?
I like the way you think!
I was hoping that this shithole president would be sent to Russia. I think Putin would be happy to host him for a short layover and then to ship him off to a gulag in Siberia.
I think Saudi Arabia is the likely endgame for Trump. Enough goldleaf to shut him up.
But they would let Trump live in luxury…
but we would be spared his daily statements and face view
Fingers crossed....
if he lives that long and can remember how to get there. On another note, I have guessed that the rage induced posts that he does on truth social are Ketamine induced disassociated hallucinations.
I think he's demented and sundowning.
I think you may be right about that too
--on a mobile home alone in the desert!
Putin would gladly show him the window view from top story of kremlin. He could give him his special treatment of how fast you can get to the ground floor
🤣
Wouldn't it be wonderful if Putin could invite him for what fof THINKS is a Big (bigly) Deal Major Award, complete with a parade, military goose-stepping, bands playing, followed by a banquet and speeches honoring him. But when fof is escorted to podium, he's cuffed and gagged and hauled away. Off to the worst of all possible prisons. Meanwhile, Melanomia and Putin will high five and hump in full public view.
Such wild fantasies.....there must be a medication for that.
Or “impoisioning” him
I prefer sending him to GITMO
no then he would still be living off the public tit.
The Somalis are too smart for that. Only another dumbass country like Russia would allow Dump a long-term stay.
Are you kidding? With his usefulness over, he'd be right out the window like
the last guy.
If only we could deport the idiot in chief and truly Make America Great Again.
Have you ever made anything up?
"The truth goes in before the name goes on: Borowitz"
😂You always tell the truth 😉You’re prescient and the Somalia tourism minister is smiling 😉
Andy Borowitz for Prescient! Er, I mean Andy Borowitz for PRESIDENT!
I’m always looking for something interesting. Years ago, NYT travel show actually had a booth for travel tour to Chernobyl. You can’t make this shit up. Me wife and I did not go, but did take memorabilia.
Did you check for radioactivity?🤪
They said that everyone on the tour had on a detector for that. Which basically said “run!” when it went yellow and “you’re fucked!!!” when red.
LOL
Or mental activity back in the US?
You can fly to DC too!
I’m sure you are regretting passing up such a radiating opportunity, John🤔 But you are in luck: I heard you could get a 1000% discount if you buy your ticket within the next two weeks🤓🖖🏻
With that level of tourism, it's time for a Trump hotel in Somalia.
I would never do that to Somalia....
Metamucilini is so awesome
Even if you were I would still appreciate the sentiment
Wow thank you for that piece of information. The thug in the White House and his barnacles always bolster themselves by punching down. They bring out the worst in all of us. There is no group that can any longer claim nobility based on being oppressed. Just look at those of us who put this bastard and his thugs in such powerful positions, every gender, ethnic group, race , religion and socioeconomic group is represented.
That's relative. What are the absolute numbers? Pondering Somalia vs Miami Beach this winter.
When I listen to trump rant, I hear 100% projection of him and his cohorts.
😲👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
Not surprised somehow. Maybe Disney will put the next Disneyland there?
Said another, "And we're not worried for our brethren already in the U.S., as we believe your non-drinking president meant to say it's sommeliers - wine stewards - he's planning to get rid of, shipping them off to tastings in the Condo."
What pairs well with hamburders? Chateau de Covfefe?
Only if it is carbonated!
I don't think the country of Condo would let him in. Can you imagine the orange man standing in an airport (if he didn't already have people making arrangements for him) arguing with an airline service rep, insisting he has to go to Condo? They wouldn't take that shit for one second!
Especially after they e smiled his passport from Nambia.
Nambia is the capital of Condo, right?
One of two: Scambia is the ceremonial one!
Probably.
How does examined become e smiled?
Secretary of education, Linda McMahon, was responsible for writing the spellcheck software 🤓🖖🏻
So true. A skill set she picked up while studying at rump university.
I think the country is the Congo.
Incidently, the top honcho in the Congo said that
Trump didn't end the war there...it rages on.
So..drop that to seven. Just sayin'
Drop it to zero...just kibbitzing!
--on two-buck Chuck!
I am almost speechless that our country is being run by a third grade bully and the military
by an insecure drunk who is out to prove his “manhood”. I’m in my eighties and have never seen the country in such a mess with no sense of honor or integrity
Exactly, Ellen!
I'm 72 and so with you on all of this. I remember living in DC during Watergate hearings and grateful the hearings happened and Nixon out. That should have happened here but now the GOP are just enablers/co-conspirators.
Ditto to Debra & Ellen. I also remember the Watergate hearings, and how the elected officials finally came around and voted against Nixon. Some were in tears, but they did the right thing. Very nostalgic.
the GOP still tend to do the right thing . . . but its for themselves
Let's not forget an FBI director whose primary mission is using take govt jets to see his girlfriend.
Which is just wrong, but the biggest surprise of "Cash" is that he HAS a girlfriend.....
LOL
Why doesn't Trump lend him the Qatari jet? Stingy, stingy......
Just sayin', I lived through George Lincoln Rockwell (1950s +)
--out of Hell!
Me too. We lived through the apathy of Ike, the increasing loathing of LBJ, Tricky Dicky (& short lived Spiro), Poor Old Bewildered Ronnie, Papa & Dubya Bushie, -- we made signs and waved our fingers in the air and had rallies and talked about how horrible they were. But the sheer unadulterated fury at this demented and inherently cruel creature exceeds anything. ANYTHING.
ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING!
That's impressive. Of course I lived through the Norman invasion and the Crusades. Then, after lunch I had to sort out the Battle of the Somme. All in a day's work.
Ellen I’m 77 and agree wholeheartedly
Me either, Ellen.
Ditto!⛄️
The blatant racism of this administration continues to astound me.
It started with Reagan calling out "The Welfare Queen." Trump has taken it to a new level, however.
Andy, you stole that from me. I have been hocking my friends for years that all this bullshit started with Reagan and "welfare queens in Cadillacs". Have any of these idiots every interacted with someone on government support? Of course not. It's not a fun life.
With T it’s simple. If you’re not like me or you don’t at least pretend to love me, you’re out, stupid & need to be punished.
This kind of thinking cuts down on all that effort of unnecessary pesky thinking. When he says many of his big decisions are from my gut I think maybe his acid soaked brain somehow ended up in there.
along with the rest of his personality
1
Ohhh I realize that’s just a crumb of that shit cake.
And Reagan was, and agent orange is, a Teflon president 🤨
Teflon crackpots!
Gulf of Racism.
These nighttime incoherent rants and daytime unscheduled naps show that Metamucillini is in serious mental decline and his sundowning is extremely dangerous.
Trump is spiraling out of control. His handlers must be having fits right now.I love his name Metamucilini. It’s so apt. He just keeps pooping over everything and everyone. He can’t stop.
Andy always has great pix on these posts. Metamucilin looks like a toddler making #2 in his diaper....
It's between Metamucilini and Don Snorleone for me.
Love them both. lol
Metamucilini is great. Another of my favorites, from Jeff Tiedrich, is Preznit Fuckwit🤓
Don Snorleone- a person for whom the words "God" and "father" are so far apart!
Do you think he has Depends shipped in a container trimmed with gold? Just in case ?
while Kegsbreath has his "fog of war," his incompetent lord and master has his own "fog of BS"
Just plain fog, if you ask me.
Yet, the fog still stinks.....
Just who are his "handlers" anyway? As Trump likes to say about reporters, they're doing a terrible job.
With his crapping over all and sundry, he should be as thin as a rake!
Dumpy's words about Somalis were disgusting. There is another group, that is part of our citizenry, that should not vote for Dumpy. I am even more disgusted with the gutless wonders that are supposed to represent us. There should be a united voice that is loud and clear; HE IS THE WORST, MOST IGNORANT SCHMUCK! WHAT HE SAYS IS TOTALLY DEPRAVED AND SHOWS HE ONLY CARES ABOUT HIMSELF. IMPEACH IMPEACH IMPEACH
Schmuck is way too nice a word.
As a former New Yorker the word schmuck resonates with a deep, deep, ugly meaning. Dumpy Don is the epitome of this idea.
I'm in LA....schmuck is very acceptable and appropriate.
Agreed Ray. Schmuck is perfect
There really isn't any word to describe that (47th)
--other than the 47th f**k-up!
https://youtu.be/bkKyySIFbxw?si=rErdk2nQScqG0Ct7
Sharon.
How about Monster?
Creature from the Black Lagoon?
nope there are some good ones out there right? ;-}
Then IMPRISON, IMPRISON, IMPRISON 🤨
You nailed it as usual. Sometimes I wonder how you can keep coming up with funny stuff when the rest of us are wringing our heads and crying. Keep it up! Thank you! ❤️
But thank you, our beloved and admired Andy, for so doing.
The real garbage are the Trump family. They are unintelligent takers who scam and take but contribute nothing;r ather they desecrate the airwaves, our democracy and what can you expect from a child raised by a sympathetic Nazi and Klan father and grandfather. All you have to see is his hair, skin and his lack of knowledge, culture or aesthetic taste. He is a fucking disgrace to humanity.
He's always projecting... Also, don't forget that the original money for buying up New York real estate came from a California gold rush brothel. Come to think of it, maybe that's where the weird fixation on gold originated in the family.
anyone within six degrees of separation from ConOLD is suspect to be classified as garbage
--except Mary Trump, her wife and her brother, his wife and children.
thank you for the revision, John . . . I should have been more specific
Your statement is very much like the things Trump says about people he needs to demean in order to justify his existance. Do you really feel so uncomfortable about who you are that you need to emulate him?
Andy is a satirical trumpy is spouting his true beliefs. I don't believe Andy is emulating him. He is trying to show people just how big of a creep our current "leader" is
well said, Stan
Didn’t know much about Michael and Susan Dell, but they’re certainly trying to shine the image.
my question is, and has been, what are they receiving for their donation?
First dance in the ballroom?
If I had to choose between living next to a Somali or t rump, the choice is obvious! This is coming from a New Yorker who lives less than a mile from t rump's childhood home. T rump is unhinged and a disgusting excuse for a human being.
Metamucillini: King of Somnalia!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Thanks!
I tell it like it is 🖖🏻🤓
Thank you Andy for giving us laughter that starts the day off right. Your brilliance is priceless! And you do post the TRUTH!
So true. I was just in Italy and a waiter there told me his favorite president was Bernie Sanders. Mine too. If only.
Smart waiter who's clairvoyant?
Let Trump sleep. That may be how we finally get out of this mess.
Trumpelstiltskin?
I think you mean Trump Van Winkle.
That's it!!!! ❤️
May he sleep for a thousand years, instead of only twenty!
or Trumpelshitskin.....
<standing ovation>
Dana - what does that mean?
Grimm's Fairy Tales figure Rumplestiltskin spins straw into gold. But Bobbie75 is right
I was thinking of another fairy tale figure who took a record long nap: Rip Van Winkle.
Dana, I had to think a minute because I thought you had it right.
Both start with R and have four syllables.
Rip Van Winkle is a character in a Washington Irving short story by the same name. He fell asleep under a tree and woke up 20 years later.
I’m guessing it’s a reference to the fascination with gold, or possibly all of the spinning.
Maybe that is Melania’s skill. Spinning straw into gold.
Hahaha!
They both actually fit!
The opposite, more like!
I am really curious about who wakes Trump from his public naps. Has anyone seen a clip of that? Do they nudge him? Or do they wait until he wakes himself up?
I think they all pretend not to notice, and act accusatorially against anyone who points it out. There! it didn't happen! Just like reducing the number of COVID tests available reduces the number of people dying from the disease. It's magic!
I imagine its gas bubbles that wake him from his slumber
Do they hold a small mirror in front to see if it fogs?
They hope he stays asleep so sweat Caroline doesn't have to justify his rants as truths
I’d love to know the duration of these naps. Someone must be clocking them, right? I want to see a full set of stats!
I absolutely LOVE the info that tourism to Somalia is surging. I know you don’t make this up, Andy. Unlike Metamucillini and his sycophants, you tell the truth.
If I wasn't already a paid subscriber, I would pay up if only for articles like today's. THANK YOU, Andy.
You are welcome to give a gift subscription to someone you love!