402 Comments
User's avatar
Andy Borowitz's avatar

Maine Democrats are about to nominate someone without a Nazi tattoo. That’s progress.

Dr. No-No's avatar

About damn time. 😉

Susan McIntosh's avatar

Why was Platner nominated in the first place?? Democrats, now is not a good time for a nap!!

T L Mills's avatar

Platner got nominated because he has been the first person in years to energize the Maine electorate with policy positions that would appeal to and benefit most working class, average Mainers. Unfortunately he wasn't well-vetted but he did cris-cross the state, holding town meetings in every rural tiny village and corner of Maine. Susan Collins hasn't held any kind of town hall or public forum in over 20 years.

Gee...sorry that we got so excited by someone who might actually want to and be able to topple Susie's reign. We were not and are not napping.

Indeed, in the scant time since Platner stepped down, Maine Dems organized about as fair a way as possible to select a new Dem nominee. This past Saturday and Sunday, you could register to vote at home or go to a county meeting to nominate delegates to go to a convention in Bangor on the 25th and vote for a new Senate nominee. It looks like we have nominated a guy who is a long-time member of the Maine legislature, Troy Jackson, an honest working man and fifth generation logger turned politician from The County (Aroostook County, for those who aren't Mainers) who's policy positions are very much in line with what Platner proposed, who honors the 72% of the electorate primary vote that Platner received (unprecedented, I assure you) and who has been a friend of Senator Sanders (VT) for many years.

Every Dem at the county meeting I attended is beadily determined--even if they were rooting for a different candidate--to get behind Jackson and pry Susie's scrawny behind out of her Senate chair. Thirty years in Washington, D.C. is more than long enough--most especially where Susie, when first elected Senator, promised that she would stay in for two terms and no more.

D ODonnell's avatar

This is great info. from a true Mainer.

Everyone should read it and support Troy Jackson in every way we can.

Thank you T.L., for this great, well-informed post.

Let’s DO this, people.

Vote Her Out!

Linda McCaughey's avatar

A former Maineiac myself, I will always trust that state's people to be clear-eyed and clear headed. Collins was a different person when Olympia was around, much in the same way as Lindsay Graham and John McCain. Name recognition sadly plays too big a part.

kdsherpa's avatar

Agree. I've looked back at Collins when she set out. What a horrific change. Ditto mz lindzey.

SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Unfortunately, vetting doesn't seem to be a high priority

in either party. Jackson sounds solid and I hope he can

dislodge Her Vagueness and cause her great concern.

D ODonnell's avatar

“Her Vagueness!”

That’s priceless.

Wendy Tucker's avatar

Thank you for such a thorough post.

Barbara Greer's avatar

People prefer to vote for someone cinematic rather than suitable. (e.g. Donald Trump). We love us a good drama with interesting and fatally flawed characters.

Lynell(VA by way of MD&DC)'s avatar

"Cinematic," yes! That's the perfect word for how most voters choose their lawmakers.

Lynn Hammonds's avatar

We are a 'celebrity culture.' Years and years ago I heard the great Steve Allen say on a radio program that a Pickle could get elected/become 'famous' if it was on the TeeVee. Now that we have 'influencers' the masses are saved from thinking.

D ODonnell's avatar

Ouch but 💯 right on.

Susan Iwanisziw's avatar

And one of the Substack crew of independents recently made that point: the TV world (and social media now) has turned people’s heads toward the attractive instead of the well-informed and capable. Wish I could remember which pundit.

Christina  A.'s avatar

Those who find Trump "attractive" must have a much worse taste than the felon himself.

D ODonnell's avatar

They still remember him from earlier years, for ex., his days on The Apprentice.

And he still thinks he’s attractive so they do.

Sheeples

Mary Hodges's avatar

As to attractiveness, Trump is shag carpeting made into a man shape. As for his orange make-up, kinda reminds me of Harvest Gold in kitchen appliances.

SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Lynell, one need look no further than Hegseth

to validate this theory.Trump, himself is a pathetic

child of the times.

felice's avatar

I thought they voted for the person whose name they recognized. No research or other thought necessary.

Annette's avatar

Hopefully we have learned our lesson now, and we vote in someone who is intelligent, empathetic and diplomatic.

LYNN COOK's avatar

HOPE " does spring eternal ", Annette.!

Sadly...not holding my breath.🙄

Linda McCaughey's avatar

...and not fatally ambitious.

felice's avatar

and isn't a two-faced liar

SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Annette, I'd settle for any one of the three

at this point if it would get rid of what we have.

andrea sobel's avatar

Handsome only works when they are decent people too. I'm thinking JFK, Obama, Ossoff (!!) We've had good looking presidents in my lifetime. Just not now. Now we have a guy that is ugly inside and out.

T L Mills's avatar

Um...people do love drama and cinematic-looking folks and that stuff makes money for others, too. Unfortunately. Personally, however, I'm more than happy to get rid of politicians with fatal flaws!!!

Moe G's avatar

We need to wake up!

M.E. Lawrence's avatar

Indeed. What I wouldn't give for few boring candidates who are smart and experienced, and determined to work for their constituents.

bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

Frim an article in the NYT three young political consultants parachutes into Maine ro meet Platner, liked him, did a rushed and incredibly poor vetting job.

SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

BBB..they did a hell of a sell, though. Credit where

it's due. I hope they contact Jackson.

T L Mills's avatar

Platner himself did a very fine job of selling his policy positions. We weren't simply swayed by his "good looks". He was a good speaker; articulated very clearly what his agenda was and in general, his ideas connected very well with many, many Mainahs. We have had way too many mealy-mouthed centrists and wafflers trying run for office. Most unfortunately, Platner had some fatally serious baggage.

Seattle Mom's avatar

Funny how often great salesmen turn out to be predators

T L Mills's avatar

Not funny at all--it's all a part of predatory behaviour. How else do predators get their prey to come close enough to catch? Maybe it goes something like this: all predators are good salesmen but not all salesmen are predators....no wait, scratch that. All salesmen are predators but not all salesmen are sexual predators. Not all sexual predators are good salesmen, either, now that I think about it (I'm thinking that Trump was a dreadful salesman).

Timothy Cooper's avatar

Yeah, I remember hearing about his Nazi tattoo quite a while ago and wondered why it got that far. Nazi tattoos are one red line for me

- Karen Cooper

T L Mills's avatar

I think a lot of older people--myself included--aren't well acquainted with Nazi symbols. I wouldn't have recognized his tatt as a Totenkopf skull. We just aren't that exposed so I must suppose it sounded quite reasonable that perhaps he might not have recognized it as such--particularly when young and drunk and with a bunch of other young, drunken Marines on leave. However if that was so, he should have had it covered immediately upon someone telling him what it was.

Jodie Pine's avatar

He knew what it was all along.

D ODonnell's avatar

We don’t know that, do we?

Jodie Pine's avatar

I read that at least two people, one a former girlfriend, said that he knew what the symbol was. If he really didn't know, then he's ignorant of history and shouldn't be running for office.

Jodie Pine's avatar

And Sanders and Warren continued to back him up! That's when I lost respect for those two.

Tirzah Mason's avatar

Actually I think the Democrats have been napping long enough. A good kick in the behind is what’s needed.

Lenny Rothbart's avatar

Apparently recommended by some “consultants” hired to seek out Maine-like candidates.

Sandy Rosenthal's avatar

I heard it was "because he could to guys."

I am originally from Massachusetts and know a bit about Maine...

M.E. Lawrence's avatar

He has a good speaking voice and a direct manner, and came across like a man of the people. Some find this "charismatic."

Paul Sarapas's avatar

He had it covered with a sea turtle and he owned up to it as a stupid mistake when a drunken marine. He was taken down by corporate media because he’s not AIPAC funded. The “witness” wasn’t so credible. The people in Maine aren’t stupid, they weren’t duped by all of the attacks. Anyway, he did the right thing to resign. I appreciate and respect your satire and points of view but must respectfully disagree. Platter is no Nazi and it was a take down by establishment democrats, AIPAC and corporate media who love to flex their muscles and meddle in politics from outside states they are not from. Like Jake Tapper.

Andy Borowitz's avatar

As I’ve said about Trump and Epstein’s survivors: I believe the women.

Linda McCaughey's avatar

Agreed; but that doesn't matter. There is no excuse for rape.

Paul Sarapas's avatar

I agree with you there, as did Bernie, congressman Kahna etc. That’s the red line. I was speaking more to Mr. Borowitz’s comment regarding the tattoo. And in another comment here point out my disgust with so many men who think they have nothing to hide or account for. Sadly it’s charisma that can matter but fortunately the presumptive replacement still has much more than Senator wind vane.

SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

"Senator Wind Vane"...love it. Why do Dems get all

pissy and toss them out when Repugs get to just

"be concerned"? (i.e. the Rapist In Chief)

Paul Sarapas's avatar

Borrowing or sharing that name by another person in this thread. Maybe Andy can start a contest called “ name that Senator” or something like that.

T L Mills's avatar

I've been calling her a limp doormat and a weathervane for several years.

SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

LOL Yes! Best of the best come out

of TBR.

Janice Farley's avatar

He had multiple, may I repeat, multiple accusations of disgusting behavior towards

Women There is no upside to a woman stating the truth More importantly these gross offenses speak to character and cannot be blown off as a bad time in one’s life,

Robin Birdfeather's avatar

And when you use drunk as a cover-up, it's simply isn't because you're the one who decides to drink in the first place, no matter then whatever happens happens. Pure BS.

Wendy Tucker's avatar

Here's the thing: if we prefer equality and justice and respect, we must pay attention to 'outside' states. It isn't meddling; it's the reality that what happens in Maine (and elsewhere) matters everywhere.

Paul Sarapas's avatar

There’s a tremendous difference between PACS spending millions to sway a race or taking down a candidate and perhaps trusting the actual voters to be smart enough to see the difference between a truth and a lie. I’ll add that I’m astonished that men like Platner thinking they can hide their skeletons, especially when it comes to treating women badly. The real blame is on Maine Democrats who did not adequately vet Platner from the start. You are correct to say what happens in Maine affects all of us , but meddling is still meddling. Timing is suspicious, and I do not trust Jake Tapper. At all.

Timothy Cooper's avatar

Drunk or not, he had that tattoo long enough to know what it really represented and did nothing about it until relatively recently, apparently

- Karen Cooper

Tirzah Mason's avatar

Planter’s Nazi tatoo, while disgusting, pales in comparison to his sexual predation. That’s the real bomb that sank his ship- deservedly so. Those hired to vet him might be better suited to selling shoes.

wendy's avatar

Look, this has been litigated for so long! It was a skull and cross bones! I never associated that with nazis and I'll bet neither did 99% of readers. Once he knew he had it removed.

I'm much more disturbed by the sexual assault allegations...

Paul Sarapas's avatar

Now we got a guy who’s got less charisma than a lobster pot, chosen by delegates, and most likely another corporate shill. Still better than Collins. Watch for the Republicans to start waving the red flag of communism and scaring up a nor'easter over commies ruining America 🇺🇸

T L Mills's avatar

I don't believe Troy Jackson is a corporate shill. Pretty hahd to be a corporate shill from The County. We the People, the 72% of Mainers who were excited by Platner's policy positions, must supply the fire and energy to pry Susie out of her Senate seat.

Even Susan Collins (also from The County) when she was first elected, wasn't the concerned, pearl-clutching doormat/weather-vane she has become. She has always been a follower; she was okay until Olympia Snowe retired....then she had to scurry around to find a new leader she could follow.

D ODonnell's avatar

Oh, Olympus Snowe! Now there was a Senator we all could get behind.

Good luck to Troy!

Paul Sarapas's avatar

Appreciate this reply, from someone in the same county as Senator Pearl Clutcher. I hope that you are correct, and best wishes in prying her out of office!

T L Mills's avatar

Oh no...I'm not from The County; I'm an auld faht Mainer from the hills and mountains of Western Maine. I think The County is a beautiful place, with rolling potato fields; lots and lots and LOTS of woods and streams. Like so much of Maine, it is extremely scenic. But it is also a bit isolated from the rest of the state and semi-surrounded by Quebec and New Brunswick on the other side of the St. John River.

David Gardiner's avatar

Comforting to know that Susan Collins has a regular sub aerobic routine of brow furrowing and hand wringing.

Wis's avatar

Boy, someone without a Nazi tatt! (How low can the bar go?)

T L Mills's avatar

Well the Repubbie bar is is so low it's underground, so I don't think we are QUITE that low...and Hegseth has more than a few questionable tatts, so there is that.

Wis's avatar

Omigosh, no argument here! Were Platner republican, he’d be benefitting from his criminal past and tatts! Republicans have no low bar - there is no bar, period. Hell! Our president is a convicted felon!

Donna_H's avatar

"there is no bar, period"

Oh, don't let Kegsbreath or "Hold my beer" Kavanaugh hear you say that!! 😉

🤣🤣🤣

Wis's avatar

Har!! XD I'd like to scream it in their ears! But, I'm "only a woman", so they wouldn't hear me no matter how loud I was. They only have ears for toxic gasbags filled with testosterone and deadly fumes.

Elizabeth Block's avatar

Maine Democrats dumped someone who was plausibly accused of rape. Republicans didn't do that.

As for the Nazi tattoo, I find it perfectly believable that he didn't know of its Nazi implications. Americans don't learn American history, let alone the history of other countries.

Kathy's avatar

Collin’s: “Concerning”

John Townsend's avatar

--of a certain, demented kind!

Steve Lang's avatar

she needn’t be concerned. american voters have shown themselves to be amnesiacs. look how they put mr. tangerine man back in the white house after his first term.

Sandra Nicht's avatar

we didn't though. Election Truth Alliance and This Will Hold and Greg Palast have receipts on who REALLY installed him.

Purobi Phillips's avatar

Where are those receipts?

John Townsend's avatar

I'd like to know!

Mark D Olson's avatar

There is obviously a large enough segment of this country that have bought into right wing white male supremacy so deeply that they are literally unable to think or remember anything because their conscience has been so wildly distorted they no longer can see the forest through the tree.

Belinda barkan's avatar

Susan Collins talks a good game, acts like a centrist, then votes with Trump every time. Please vote her out and get a progressive in November.

ABuckley's avatar

It was the other guys, girls, and those-who've-yet-to-decide because AA women (>90%) and AA men (>80%) voted for the woman.

SCS - Michigan's avatar

Plus, she infamously said trump “learned his lesson” when she voted against convicting him for Jan. 6. Turns out, she was right about that. It just happened to be the wrong one. 🤨

Dan Starr's avatar

I call BS. tRump’s not capable of learning anything.

Paul Ehrenzeller's avatar

tRump’s not capable of learning anything good for anyone other than himself. E.G. he’s learned being president is better for him with no guardrails, only loyal sycophants, cryptocurrency is good if he can make a couple billion $, pardons can be readily sold, etc.

SCS - Michigan's avatar

Well, there is that 🫪

RJM's avatar
1dEdited

SCS: I bet Andy is jealous that he didn’t think of that himself.

Ellen Harris's avatar

You are so right… he learned his lesson!! And as someone from Massachusetts I know that you don’t have to be from Maine to know Susan Collin’s (like the orange one) is full of sh-t. I’m not sure why they’ve re-elected her at all ever.

T L Mills's avatar

She has a cracker-jack campaign team, for one thing. And she has always emphasized how much pork and bacon she brought back to Maine. Two of Maine's biggest (private) employers have benefitted GREATLY from her position--particularly General Dynamics (Bath Ironworks--biggest shipbuilding facility on the East Coast) and Optum Services (pharmaceuticals and drug retailers).

Tim Savage's avatar

Follow the money and the answers become clear.

Kathy's avatar

Maine has re-elected Collin’s bc she’s a conservative republican. The reason she’s in trouble is hat those republicans in charge have beaten the living 💩 out of voters in Maine and across our country. Tax breaks for the wealthy at our expense doesn’t cut it now, as more Americans are struggling while the wealthy enjoy life to the fullest.

Lucy Conner's avatar

My sister who has lived there since 1979 says she gets all the rural constituents' votes. 🤦‍♀️🙄

misia.d's avatar

It’s like she’s ignoring the Cyclops in the oval room. No, it’s not cute. Quit harboring it!

BTAM Master's avatar

Oh, you mean "Susan Collins who votes independently only when she knows her vote will be over-ridden"?

Al Keim's avatar

She's also the one who promised to leave the senate after 2 terms and is running for her 6th.

MARGARET KENDALL's avatar

my state has a senator like that. promised would end after two terms. almost got beat by an independent the third time. she was incensed. kept repeating the mantra, this is a red state, this is a red state...

misia.d's avatar

Elementary school math and idol blindness are her sword & shield. Enough.

Barbara Greer's avatar

That's In-de-pen-dence! Sing it with me!

Gary Farrar's avatar

Wake up little Susie.

Paul Snyderman's avatar

"Little Susie" and "Mr. Tangerine Man" make a dreadful chorus together.

Steve Lang's avatar

hey, mr. tangerine man, tell some lies to me.

you’re so creepy with that idiotic hair-do.

hey mr. tangerine man, tell some lies to me.

in the coming fall elections we’ll be lame-ducking you.

Annette's avatar

<appreciative applause>

Roger Fradenburgh's avatar

Actually, "Wake up!" is something said in the Oval Officer almost daily.

Robert E.'s avatar

Sleepover on the job recharges the Fib Factory.

return to normalcy's avatar

Wow, an Everly Brothers reference, well remembered!

D ODonnell's avatar

I bet a lot of AndyPeeps get that one.

Such a nicer, more simple time.

Robert E.'s avatar

Gee whiz Wally... don't tell them the works!

D ODonnell's avatar

“You look really lovely in that dress today, Mrs. Oops - last name?” —

Eddie Haskell

Of course

Barbara Marling's avatar

I am beginning to believe that the people of Maine have been subjected to some sort of mind numbing substance or influence that gave rise to her seemingly never ending political success. There must be an answer. Perhaps Stephen King should be questioned?

Erik Bruun's avatar

Unlike her faux public-facing concerns on policy issues, she is very effective in responding to the concerns of Mainers through constituent service.

Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

One can be good at constituent services and not approve judges to overturn constitutional rights.

C K Smith's avatar

Please remember this: Her staff are the ones who respond to constituent service requests; she would rarely have to get involved in any of those services. She just takes credit for the legwork they do by signing off on their actions. That is no reason to continue to support her for her support of the Orange Turd, despite the "concern" she expresses to the press.

Erik Bruun's avatar

Yes, that's one of the reasons she outpaced Trump in 2020. She is an old-fashioned pork-barreling politician in that respect.

Barbara Marling's avatar

I’m certain you are correct and that is the sad reality that we are all faced with. Most people are so self involved that they fail to consider the wider implications of their actions.

misia.d's avatar

Only the price of eggs gets REAL attention!?

D ODonnell's avatar

Lots of pork barrel over many years, evidently.

Many, many years.

Too many.

#VoteHerOut

Ann Rock's avatar

Apparently she’s good at getting them money when they need it,,,🤷🏼‍♀️

Barbara Marling's avatar

I assume it would not cost that much for a woman in need to get to Canada for an abortion.

misia.d's avatar

You read her mind! Careful that’s a scary place, don’t get lost!

Barbara Greer's avatar

Well, that would be enough if she were city councilwoman. U.S. Senator has a wider mission. You know, like the welfare of the nation.

Nadine Zdanovich's avatar

It’s Super-Pacs and Mega-donors that keep getting her elected!

T L Mills's avatar

She just has a cracker-jack campaign team and tons of AIPAC, and other PAC money. There hasn't been anyone to run against her with enough of the necessary dough, name recognition and policy positions to win.

Plus she has never had to run with the burden of a totally repulsive, demented President who doesn't care that his stupidities are going to bring down the GOP. His stupid shit will, inevitably land on her.

Robert E.'s avatar

Does she live a stones throw from the Pet Sematary?

John Townsend's avatar

He's writing that horror novel version right now......

Lynn Hammonds's avatar

Sea bugs, I tell ya.

Andrew Chertoff's avatar

It’s not just that she voted to confirm Kavanaugh. She met with him and based on that conversation expressed confidence that Roe v Wade was not in danger. Any high school kid familiar with current events at that time had to know that there was no chance of him voting to affirm Roe. So, either she exhibited incredibly bad judgment on a critical issue, or she lied to her constituents. Either way, she has to go!

Harvey Perry's avatar

She recently said she has no regrets about her Kavanaugh vote. Nothing more needs to be said about her.

Doris Buchmann's avatar

Blow hot air into her face!

John Townsend's avatar

Enough hot air to go all around!

Wendy Tucker's avatar

Yes! Thank you. This sums it up.

Wendy Tucker's avatar

Very good! You have reinforced what must be remembered: that even a single statement or vote or action supporting something which is inherently unjust is sufficient reason to oppose--whether in the realm of a personal relationship or a political decision.

DaveinNH's avatar

This piece is sooooo unfair!!! You didn't even mention her Olympics-level pearl clutching! Fake newz.

Annette's avatar

perhaps she just hasn't clutched her pearls hard enough . . .?

DaveinNH's avatar

It's too bad Lindsey Graham isn't around to show her how how the pros do it.

Joanna Rysnik's avatar

Oh we do remember. And I hope we more than concern her in November.

Pickleball's avatar

Oh, trust me, I remember!

Barbara G Bornstein's avatar

You caught her so well, so quickly; but let's be honest; she makes it so easy.

Danièle Tinsman's avatar

Yeap, Senator, we will remember everything you did and more importantly, everything you didn't do!

MedjoolPalm's avatar

I'm glad I'm not in your gunsights!

Wendy Tucker's avatar

Maybe we should all ask ourselves 'what would Andy say/think?' But Andy also clearly believes in autonomy and individual freedom. Still........

Diane Smith's avatar

What a bleeping mess.

Terri's avatar

This is great. And as so often, the last line is the best.

Irna Gadd's avatar

My opinion, too, Terri!

Erik Bruun's avatar

Hahahaha!

She is right to be concerned!