311 Comments
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Sheryl Thompson's avatar

I’m continually amazed that DonOld keeps bragging about “acing” a basic dementia test. Every person on Medicare gets one of these (or a mini one) annually. But he mentions his test almost daily. Too dementia addled to even understand what the test is.

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

Man woman moron idiot felon

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Paul Ehrenzeller's avatar

And pedophile!

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jon Hodson's avatar

along with the rest of the RE-PEDO-CANS

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Irna Gadd's avatar

Exactly!

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Linda Mitchell, KCMO's avatar

Perfect

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Kathleen D. Pierce's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Pradnya Sikand's avatar

How about megalomaniac to end the list of endearing qualities ? 😉

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Marc Panaye's avatar

Here's the test the dementing felon aced:

"Idiot - man - grab - woman - p****"

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Jean M Mazza's avatar

Actually laughed out loud.

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Mary Gilbert's avatar

Not fair-those are 5 words he actually could memorize…

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jon Hodson's avatar

NOT IN THAT VACUUM

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Elisabeth Birker's avatar

Liar

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bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

Man woman moron idiot felon weasel

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Sally Joy Rubin's avatar

Ha!!!!

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Edward Jay Allan's avatar

I suspect that the “nothing “ that the MRI found was a vacuum. Even RFKkk Jr.’s brain furnished enough sustenance for a worm.

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Nancy "Bee" Bayerle's avatar

.....and, let's see, what do worms like to eat? Oh, wet dirt and *$#!! Plenty of dirt and the other stuff between RFKKK JR's ears.....

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Penny Pawl's avatar

red wigglers eat decaying material. So RFK had a red wiggler attack.

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Sandra Nicht's avatar

except the worm died...

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Joan Schiavi's avatar

Of starvation

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Paul Ehrenzeller's avatar

Love the RFKkk jr! And the RF stands for Roadkill Food!

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Itsy Bitsy Spider's avatar

Eeeuuuu.🐛🐛🐛

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matclone's avatar
5hEdited

With his constant need for adulation (including the "self" variety), Trump often reaches for anything he can get.

Besides, the fact he claims success on this test (rather than remaining silent) more likely than not means it's false. That's how he operates.

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Harvey Perry's avatar

He doesn’t remember that he has said it before. It frequently happens with the elderly

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Annette's avatar

for those who remember, he has a skip in his vinyl album brain . . . he just keeps repeating the same old stuff he said 8 years ago

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Quizzically Bemused's avatar

It worked then and continues to be effective with Cheetolini base, it would be idiotic for him to adjust his patios. Nixon had a mid 30’s approval rating when her resigned, that seems to be the absolute bottom of the then “conservative” base, my guess would be that’s where Cheatloaf’s approval will settle, as the lyrics state “it’s all about the bass not the troubles.”

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Kathy Combs's avatar

"it's all about the bass not the troubles".

That's a keeper.

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Marilyn Jackson's avatar

I had one of those at my last physical. I started chuckling because I was so tempted to reply man, woman, camera, TV in response to the words I was supposed to remember.

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Al Keim's avatar

That was a temptation I could not resist Marilyn.

The kindly woman testing looked at me and we both burst out laughing.

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JeannieLaKT's avatar

Empty? I thought he had 💩for brains.

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M Apodaca's avatar

Sorry, ST. I love Andy but I’m 84 and I’ve never got a basic dementia test. Not a mini one. Let’s be accurate. There’s enough medical ageism out there.

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Pam Birkenfeld's avatar

Then your doctor has done you a disservice. You’re entitled to have an annual Medicare thorough exam, which should and must really include for your own sake a very basic test for dementia. It’s always stressful but it’s not that hard! You sound like a person who would ace it, but not in the Trump way!

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M Apodaca's avatar

An MRI is required for special cases only. I have several doctors including Primary, Cardio and Dermo. Thanks for not being rude.

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Pam Birkenfeld's avatar

I am not talking about an MRI, it’s a simple cognitive test that they ask you to remember five words, and then they ask you what they were a little while later. That’s what they give Trump while he goes on and on about those same words. I’ve had several, I’m 78 and my husband was a physician, and he took that same test given by his own physician. I meant that you should ask about that of your doctors. Maybe they don’t think you need it, but it’s given not as something that seems to be needed, but part of the annual required Medicare exam.

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Ridiculocracy's avatar

The White House physician has confirmed that Trump underwent “a full battery of tests,” including a bead maze and “coloring between the lines.”

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

He really thinks it’s an IQ test

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DC's avatar

I had hoped they would do his feet, thus showing purported Bone Spurs

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Antoinette S. Hamilton's avatar

It is pitiful.

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Kandy Brown's avatar

That's because he doesn't remember saying it. He has to re"mind" us.

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Penny Pawl's avatar

I'm on Medicare and don't recall ever having basic dementia tests. Do they give it secretly or are you programed not to remember. Actually I have an Advantage plan.

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Stephen Louis Graziano's avatar

I had a dream he suffered from a stroke causing catastrophic brain damage... and no one noticed.

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Eileen's avatar

My hope has long been that a stroke leaves him with aphasia so he can't speak and ideally can't use his typing / texting hand, either. FAR better than having him be some sort of martyr like CK

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It's Come To This's avatar

I'm praying the Gods of Dementia will arrange the universe so that one fine morning, a wandering, sleepless, exhausted old fart will wander into the White House briefing role clad only in his Depends. Wonder how Karoline Spokesbarbie will explain that one...

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bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

"The President is showing Americans that he is not shackled by false beliefs about modesty. He wears his Depends with pride!"

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T L Mills's avatar

Oh, yech! Now you've gone and made me imagine that scenario in my head! EEuuuwww!!! Blech!

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Annette's avatar

it helps to look at pictures of kittens and puppies . . . find a pic of Mousse and Cookie quickly!!

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Annette's avatar

"you know our president has always been transparent"

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Gerry Boyce's avatar

Oh my goodness. Ouch ouch!!! ROFL

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Harvey Perry's avatar

My fantasy is that he has a stoke that leaves him bedridden, paralyzed, with aphasia so he can’t speak, so that he is “locked in”, but aware. It might be better than having him locked in prison, because then the next Republican President would not be able to pardon him out of jail.

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Sandra Nicht's avatar

doesn't he already babble incoherently?

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Annette's avatar

yep, and its getting much, much worse

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Paul Ehrenzeller's avatar

With a long period of suffering, like Joe Kennedy, understanding what’s happening around him, powerless to do anything. What karma that would be!

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Robin D's avatar

Exactly right! Now that's karma at work! 🙏

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Denise's avatar

I have thought the SAME THOUGHT for years now!

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Robin D's avatar

The type that gives him "LOCKED IN SYNDROME" where all he can do is blink once for yes, two for no. Have a long and miserable life Demented Donnie Double Chins. You've been muted permanently. Champagne wishes and caviar dreams 🤗

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Denise's avatar

OOFDAH!! 🤪

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Veejer's avatar

Well said!

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Diana's avatar

Oh....was that a dream?

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J Cheng's avatar

that wasn't a dream

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Robin D's avatar

😂🤣😂🤣

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Patrick Tally's avatar

Your dream is our reality! Ugh. Emptiness. Living the dream!

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Nancy Da Haus's avatar

Andy B. you keep me afloat when I feel like I’m drowning in a sea of arrogance and incompetence.

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Chester's avatar

I can’t read this column if I have anything in my mouth.

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Suzi Harkey's avatar

I’m with ya on that!

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Irna Gadd's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Anna Potempska's avatar

MRI was not needed to state the obvious

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Larry Levy's avatar

I think it was Yogi Berra or maybe Dizzy Dean who once got beaned with a baseball and was taken to a hospital for X-rays. Later he returned to the locker room where teammates asked how he was doing. "They looked in my head," Yogi said, "and found nuthin'..." Yogi actually was very smart. However, the jury's no longer out on Trump.

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misia.d's avatar
6hEdited

Yogi was so great at quips, do you think they were all spontaneous? I’ve always wondered. He had a lot of downtime in the dugout, the like Brimsley and Farnsworth in “The Natural”.

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matclone's avatar

Ole' Diz did tell a version of this too.

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Jim Carmichael's avatar

Andy, is this satire? It sounds suspiciously like the truth to me. You are always ahead of the curve, and everything you print is true, so I think this might be an outlier, sober reporting.

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Robin D's avatar
2hEdited

That's Andy's brilliance. Sometimes I read his posts (on NOTES) and they are about serious matters, and then I start laughing from the zingers 🤣😂🤣😂 The truth with a 1/4 cup of sugar mixed in to make the medicine go down.

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Glenn Sills's avatar

Dementia on top of stupidity. It is all in the genes. Why do we still allow people like this to immigrate to our country?

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Angelo Filigenzi's avatar

Worse yet, why do we let people like this become the POTUS? He doesn't represent us, he represents himself, like he always has. I guess it would be too much to ask Congress to impeach him, as they are a bunch of cowards beholden, for some reason or other, to the Putin lover called Trump.

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Rosemary Ehle's avatar

He needs to get a brain MRI from somewhere other than Walter Reed and by a radiologist whose life is not endangered by telling us the truth. There are ways.........

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Jim Dygert's avatar

Andy your library of appropriate photographs never ceases to amaze me!

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Susie's avatar

Right?! That’s always my thought as I laugh my old ass off!!!! 🤣🤣🤣

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It's Come To This's avatar

He's like Oakland. There's no there, there.

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Glenn Ebo Perry's avatar

“Sir! Our MRI has now concluded

There’s just cerebrospinal fluid

Within your empty orange head;

Your brain is gone, not merely dead.

In fact, your body is a husk,

A robot owned by Elon Musk.

No wonder that your golf game stinks,

When you cavort upon the links.

It seems that, unlike JFK,

whose brain worm finally passed away,

The scans we took within your noggin

Showed sharp declines, like a toboggan.

It started as a likely hunch:

Cerebral sounds of “munch” and “crunch”

Were parasites enjoying lunch.

So now, your ceaseless string of lies,

Your wardrobe, with its crimson ties,

Your cankles in their special hose,

The hairs protruding from your nose;

Your big Qatari Air Force One,

Your hope to have a worthwhile son,

Will vanish in eternal night.

Erased by cerebellar blight.

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Susan Kice's avatar

One of your best! Need to publish a book-as I tell you all the time!

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Denise's avatar

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

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The Rickster's avatar

You da man.

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Sam Popkin's avatar

Susan is right!

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Christina  A.'s avatar

My favourite since I have become a subscriber. No brains found.

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M Q's avatar

That would be the "Gulf of America"

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Kevin Robbins's avatar

So when they look at his brain and find nothing that’s not in the good zen way, right?

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Michele Clark's avatar

Andy, you're a bright spot - every day at least a smile - in this dark time.

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Mary Sue Palazzari's avatar

Too true to be satire!

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

Everything I write is true.

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John  (NJ-VT)'s avatar

Stated in Princeton - before having the first question of the night “If I quote Aristotles correctly…”

God if that was captured on video! Like watching a walk off home-run in game 7 of a world series. And my nieces got to see it!

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