Trump Claims Tariffs Were Eric’s Dumb Idea

Mandel Ngan/AFP

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump stunned Wall Street on Friday by revealing that the spate of tariffs roiling global markets were his son Eric’s “dumb idea.”

“When Eric first pitched the idea of tariffs, I thought the whole concept sounded kind of out there,” he said. “But he was begging me like a dog, so I said yes.”

Trump said that it was important for Eric to know that his tariff scheme was “a disaster,” adding, “When you make a mistake this huge, you’ve got to own it.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have let him do the tariffs, but I felt bad because the poor guy has nothing going for him,” he said. “It’s been tough growing up in the shadow of a superstar like Don, Jr.”

TBR Question of the Day: What else is Eric’s fault?

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