475 Comments
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Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

Not going into the witness protection program so he could testify against his father and put him away for good.

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Alan's avatar

Sarah -- He tried to do that very thing but screwed up and instead enrolled in the WITLESS Protection Program".

🤔🤑

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Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

So that’s what happened. He really can’t do anything right!

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Alan's avatar

You're correct. In fact, his Secret Service code name is ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE.

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Barry Blue's avatar

The other two sons are Hopeless and Useless

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Larry Levy's avatar

I just read Mark Twain once had cats named Pestilence and Famine. They could be in Felon 47's Cabinet.

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David Fractor's avatar

I thought they were inspiration for the movie Dumb and Dumber.

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Mary Roeser's avatar

I occasionally refer to them as Qusay and Uday.

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Amanda Bowman's avatar

Yes! Perfect!

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Michael L Flynn's avatar

I thought Trump's sperm donations were named Greasy, Dopey, Queefy, the other one and little Borat.

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D ODonnell's avatar

Remember Uday & Qusay?

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Bill's avatar

or Dumb and Dumber

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Mark Slitt's avatar

Barron might turn out to be the dangerous one. He's smart, apparently.

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Barry Blue's avatar

So, Lachlan Murdoch II

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Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

Dude you are on fire!!

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Alan's avatar

Thanks Sarah. I was inspired by your post, Andy's article, and Stephen Colbert's impersonations as shown on this video clip:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HUI4ctudL6Q&pp=0gcJCdgAo7VqN5tD

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Michael L Flynn's avatar

Stephen does a great Eric!

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Susan Stone's avatar

I tried to watch, but my hearing is not compatible Colbert's speech. This discussion was a great way to start out the comments. I got a really good laugh out of it.

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Deb Demonbreun's avatar

Thank you for the link! 🤣

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Penny Pawl's avatar

so he is called AI for short. I like that.

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lougee's avatar

you can pick your friends but you can’t pick your relatives

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Susanna Lundgren's avatar

Meanwhile, as society sinks and crumbles, they still can pick their noses.

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Dorothy G Ferguson's avatar

Like father, like son.

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LYNN COOK's avatar

Alan...per usual....

You never disappoint !

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Janet Brown's avatar

Hahaha

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Mark Slitt's avatar

🤣

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Lynn Solte's avatar

Both boys have been so cowed/brow beaten by their father, they would never testify against him. Like Trump and his father, they're too busy seeking his approval.

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Clym Yeobright's avatar

Isn’t that what Daddy Menendez said about his boy Erik just before … you know

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Kandy Brown's avatar

Wouldn't that be fitting?

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Susan Marleau Whelan's avatar

They just need to hold on a little bit longer and time will take care of daddy dearest. No need to go to prison for something nature will eventually take care of.

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Clym Yeobright's avatar

That’s the same advice you gave the murdochs, isn’t it? How’s that working out? lol

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Sheila's avatar

Old joke came to mind: What did Melania ever see in Trump? Lots of money and high cholesterol. Hasn't really worked out for her yet. Speaking of Melania and nicknames: I have a friend who only refers to her as "Melonoma."

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Sheila's avatar

Oops..."Melanoma."

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CARLA M LA ROSA's avatar

Don't count on Nature! Evil never dies. (See Dick Cheney)

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Michael L Flynn's avatar

It would be like shooting an elephant.

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Clym Yeobright's avatar

“If you’re going to shoot at an elephant, Mr. Schneider, you better be prepared to finish the job.”

- Gary Larson

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Bill's avatar

LOVE the Far Side

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D ODonnell's avatar

Oh, the Far Side! Those were great.

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Lynn Solte's avatar

You have a point.

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Kandy Brown's avatar

And that is how he holds them hostage. Withholding approval is his power over them.

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Carol Lama's avatar

Withholding approval or inheritance?

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Kandy Brown's avatar

Both, I'm afraid.

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Barry Blue's avatar

I wonder if they have Rupert Murdoch-style “irrevocable” trusts

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nacreplus2's avatar

Trump has also physically abused them according to a report in Philadelphia Magazine a friend just happened to send me:

https://www.phillymag.com/news/2019/09/14/donald-trump-at-wharton-university-of-pennsylvania/

"Mystery #7: Did Trump strike Don Jr. across the face in his freshman dorm room for attempting to wear a Yankees jersey to a baseball game with him?

That’s the story recounted in a November 3rd, 2016, Facebook post by Don Jr.’s former classmate Scott Melker:

I was hanging out in a freshman dorm with some friends, next door to Donald Jr.’s room. I walked out of the room to find Donald Trump at his son’s door, there to pick him up for a baseball game. There were quite a few students standing around watching, trying to catch a glimpse of the famed real estate magnate. Don Jr. opened the door, wearing a Yankee jersey. Without saying a word, his father slapped him across the face, knocking him to the floor in front of all of his classmates. He simply said, “Put on a suit and meet me outside,” and closed the door.

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Susan Stone's avatar

I can't "like" your comment but definitely appreciate your posting it. I have long suspected trump of being abusive.

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nacreplus2's avatar

Me, too. He is abusive to everyone around him. He is a severely damaged character. His children all have the facial expressions, body language and behaviors that seem so characteristic of people who have been abused. I strongly suspect, to be clear only from these casual observations, that the girls have been sexually harrassed or worse, especially Tiffany.

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Hannah Olufs's avatar

Well there was the time he grinned while he said he would date his daughter. There are the gross pics of her on his lap when she was way too old for that shit.

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Susan Stone's avatar

I really know nothing about Tiffany, but in a way I'm surprised, sort of. I would have thought that if he abused any of his daughters it would have been Ivanka. But as one who lived through extensive sexual abuse, I can spot an abuser easily, and he fits the pattern. And from what I've heard, he has no respect and no regard for Tiffany, so it's easily possible that he abused her and has since thrown her away.

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Gail T's avatar

Agreed... has to be the "very broadest understanding" of the use of the word!!! We "like" (?) it because it brings very important information to light!

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Susan Stone's avatar

Point taken. I have added my like to the comment. I appreciate your reasoning.

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nacreplus2's avatar

I am so sorry for what you had to experience and I am grateful for your courage to say it out loud. This gives others courage. Thank you. All the best to you.

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Gail T's avatar

And I truly understand why you hesitated... we want so much

- and need so much - to be understood the right way.

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Lynn Solte's avatar

I believe every word of this. Trump is cruel/sadistic. Especially where he senses weakness. A despicable man.

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Joyce B's avatar

I heard this same story from the parent of another of Don Jr.'s classmates. Appalling.

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Bill's avatar

The boys have delusions of adequacy

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lougee's avatar

sorry but i personally believe that trumpf doesn’t have the balls to get physical with anyone

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Susan Stone's avatar

And if you think about the girls, you don't have to worry about too much, because they're girls and they won't fight back. I know from experience that with sexual abuse you are afraid of what will happen to you.

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Amanda Bowman's avatar

I’m so very sorry.

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Susan Stone's avatar

Thank you, Amanda.

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Sheila's avatar

Like a typical bully, sure, he'd get physical if he's got power over them and knows they won't throw him a punch.

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Christopher Sweet's avatar

He punches down, like they all do. Punch down, kiss up. He taught Don all he knows about that.

It doesn’t take balls, btw.

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Gail T's avatar

So sad

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Bill's avatar

They remind me of the Menendez brothers who murdered their parents. Just say'n

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Susan Stone's avatar

I would disagree with you from the standpoint that the Menendez brothers were pretty severely abused, at least as I understand the story. I don't think trump sexually abused his boys.

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Lois W. Halbert's avatar

Like Trump is still trying to do. Get his father's approval. Doesn't matter he's dead.

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Barry Blue's avatar

I’m sure that people in that program will soon be outed by Git Along Little DOGE-ee

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Hugh Jarce's avatar

Or put another way...DOG(Excrement).

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Dana Campbell's avatar

Great idea! He would have the success previously denied him and we might actually get our long denied impeachment. Win win.

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J Cheng's avatar

This is the winner!

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R.Linda Levy's avatar

Great Idea !!! Shame he didn’t think about that!

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Rob Haley's avatar

Inviting Jeffrey Goldberg to the Signal group chat.

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Joseph M Becker's avatar

Was Waltz a mole?

In a TV interview, Jeff Goldberg [The Atlantic] repeatedly stated that he and Waltz were acquainted.

If not, would JG have been a contact on Waltz’s phone?

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Nancy Natale's avatar

Ya think!

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Gail T's avatar

No

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Octavia Redwood's avatar

That thought occurred to me as well-that Walz was a longtime source to Goldberg on some issues.

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Joseph M Becker's avatar

Eric’s Main Fault: not committing patricide.

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Joseph M Becker's avatar

Or committing fratricide: Don Jr. not Barron -

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Shaké Topalian's avatar

Barron is a piece of crap as well. let's not forget the nasty comment he made to Biden at the Inauguration. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. And how different can he be with a narcissistic mother like mellie trump.

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Celia Smith's avatar

I missed that - what did he say?

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Steven Warheit's avatar

Or in the case of RFK Jr., the worm doesn't fall far from the apple!!

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Eleanor Livingston's avatar

In this case, the apple doesn’t Rot far from the tree.

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Ellen McKenzie's avatar

I’m laughing out loud!

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Sara McSweeney's avatar

Barron is a child. He gets a pass until 25 (frontal lobe). Then its GAME ON.

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Ellen McKenzie's avatar

Kids can understand the difference between right and wrong by ages 5-7. No pass. It has nothing to do with frontal lobe development, and everything to do with moral development.

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Annette's avatar

I'd give him until 21; his dad has already tried to push him into the political field but Melanoma pulled him back.

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Sally Joy Rubin's avatar

What did he say? I missed that.

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The Rickster's avatar

If Barron procreates the apple will fall from high altitude.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Applesauce for brains?

Embarrassing to say, but I'm asking sincerely.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Yes, as Celia asks, please fill us in.

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Celia Smith's avatar

I searched for it, and there are a lot of conflicting 'reports', all from lip readers. Some said he was polite, and some claimed he said "you're fired" or something equally snarky. I found no reliable answer.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Shucks, I just entered a comment on patricide (it's farther down, I suppose) and just now see yours. At least great minds think alike and all that.

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Al Keim's avatar

Farther father!

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Susanna Lundgren's avatar

Copying the Medici, but not as classy and cultured.

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Al Keim's avatar

Niccolo presaged Donald at a NASCAR rally with Stormy.

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Susanna Lundgren's avatar

“Professional” name: Portia Stormina! ⛈

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Al Keim's avatar

Class with an ass:-)

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Kathleen D. Pierce's avatar

This was my point as well!

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Shelley B's avatar

Kash Patel's eyesight, Howard Lutnicks mother's delayed SS check, Musk' 15th offspring, RFK's worm, Vance's existence, Leavitt's IQ...the impending apocalypse

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Linda MacDonald's avatar

What a list! When it's laid out like that you really get the full picture of the horror and corruption.

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Shelley B's avatar

Thanks. It's quite a daunting reality, unfortunately. Doing the best I can to get through this, one day at a time !

Andy Borowitz brilliant humorous takes on this, every day, do help!

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D ODonnell's avatar

One day at a time, indeed.

The mystery of how The Orange Trash Bin is still alive, with all his bad habits, still boggles the mind.

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Ian Findlay's avatar

"Bad habits" encompasses many activities. He doesn't smoke or drink. Dietwise we can only rely on coke and hanberders. His head won't explode (possibly implode because of internal vacuum) so Father Time is our only hope.

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Jan Fabiyi's avatar

And I'm honestly afraid that, even if he dies from natural causes, Republican'ts will blame it on Democrats and it will be an excuse for violence.

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Susanna Lundgren's avatar

Who cares re threat of violence? Re-dumplings are all show and no guts. Easy over.

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Susanna Lundgren's avatar

I’ve wondered at this strange phenomenon for years now. Possibles: (1) “too mean to die” (2) mummified in own juice & now only an “astral projection” (3) dementia as preservative.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Bobby Jr.'s role in the apocalypse will be to have left a pock o' lips upon each forehead.

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Susanna Lundgren's avatar

The Mark of Cain! (as in, also: sugar…) It’s all poisonous! ☠️

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

You've pulled out all the stops. I was only thinking of Jr's affection for measles and, as it now seems, thrill at the idea of reintroducing smallpox and chicken pox, the small stuff.

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Vicki Bacal's avatar

Made me laugh, thanks!

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Tricia Wilson's avatar

and that's only the half of it 🥺

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Melissa Colbert's avatar

Both of the Trump boys compete among their selves for dumb and dumber. So far junior is in the lead because as the oldest he had more time

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Paul Freedman's avatar

Eric is so stupid he tried to commit suicide by locking himself in the garage with his Tesla running.

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Annette's avatar

you, Sir, have broken the internet today - LOL

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Carol Lama's avatar

Don't Teslas burst into flames?

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Ronald Summers's avatar

Love this so much!

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Al Keim's avatar

He didn't need to close the door for that.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

I must be slow. It wasn't until reading Annette's and Ronald's replies that I got the joke. Yes, you are somethin' else.

But if the car was running in the sense of moving, then we're really on to something. Dare hope?

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Annette's avatar

like if the car pinned him against the garage door . . . that could be fun!

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Susanna Lundgren's avatar

👏🤣

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Ronald Summers's avatar

Funny stuff!!

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Frau Katze's avatar

lol 😺😺😺

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Patti's avatar

You demean a masterpiece of epic proportions, Melissa. Harry and Lloyd were Phi Beta Kappas compared to those two buffoons. Bill and Ted are rocket scientists compared to the First Felon’s spawn.

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G L's avatar

My first impulse was to say Lara Trump -- that he was guilty of inflicting her on the world, our eardrums, and our sensibilities -- but then again she surely engineered all that as Eric's too dumb to have managed any of it.

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Shaké Topalian's avatar

The three trump boys including the baronet.

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Patti's avatar

Surely you mean the “barronet?”

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Joseph M Becker's avatar

As I have previously commented, children of friends and former colleagues relate that Jr. was referred to as ‘Diaper Donny’ when at Penn cos he drank so much he frequently wet himself.

[Admittedly, this information is third-hand.]

Supposedly, DJT did not want that son to carry HIS name lest the kid be a loser.

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Susan Moss's avatar

What’s truly scary is that they all reproduce. How does a person like that look in the mirror and say oh let’s have another one of those? Just saying…

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Deb Demonbreun's avatar

Or, even scarier - the women willing to have the spawn. ICK!

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D ODonnell's avatar

As we used to say, Rotflmao

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Larry Caringer's avatar

The tariffs were Eric’s. The huge profits for his billionaire buddies were Dad’s…nobody’s ever seen anything like it!

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Rosemary Ehle's avatar

Isn't he the guy who shot Cecil the elderly lion with a bow and arrow in Africa? If it isn't true it feels true.

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Karin Perkins's avatar

Actually that was some dentist as I remember - but plenty of photos of the Trump sons with dead animals - very distasteful. If you cannot respect your fellow humans or form any empathy, it follows that animals get even less respect. Remember Sarah Palin giving an interview right in front of turkeys at a farm getting persistently beheaded as though nothing was abnormal.

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Karin Perkins's avatar

Or Christi Noem for example.

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

Yes, it was Walter Palmer, a dentist from, I hate to say it, my home state of Minnesota.

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Dana Campbell's avatar

Yes. Sadly.

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Jon's avatar

New Coke.

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John Silas "Si" Hopkins, III's avatar

Liquid or powder?

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D ODonnell's avatar

Great one …

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L B Rose's avatar

Not taking away all of his dad's sharpies...before he could "sign" the death notices of the American republic.

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Liz Schick's avatar

Eric never should have given birth to his father. An abortion would have been great.

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Donna's avatar

The Hindenburg disaster

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Patti's avatar

Howling!

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Clym Yeobright's avatar

Eric is the one who made the call setting up the first ‘escort’ session with Melancholia. It was his picture she was replying to: “I never would have ‘escorted’ an orange-a-tang”, she says, “I have standards, you know. Do I look like a crack-whore? Seriously!” But then Eric got lost coming home from adult day-care; he knew he lived in a tower on 5th Ave but he couldn’t remember what it was called … and you know the rest.

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Harry Levy's avatar

That ridiculous fucking stubble of his

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Ick, that stubble, whether the shorter or longer versions. Eric, Donny Jr., Vantz and lots more of them. The reason behind wanting to look dirty, scrubby, backwoods, drunk, et al., seems all the rage. The only reason big trump doesn't have it is because he hasn't the coordination to keep it trimmed.

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Judy Shaffer's avatar

Nah, it's because the stubble would interfere with his makeup.

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D ODonnell's avatar

Badda bing!

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Oh, yes, Judy. That's gotta be it.

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Susan Mongar's avatar

Currying for his Dad’s favor, he created those fabulous gold Trump pins everybody has to wear. Trump, in gratitude, allowed his tarriff plan. And here we all thought Trump was incapable of gratitude!! The man never ceases to amaze us.

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Joseph M Becker's avatar

Andy has a Substack.

Trump is a Smokestack.

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Celia Smith's avatar

He's a shitstack.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Now, Celia, is that a nice thing to say? Go for it.

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Celia Smith's avatar

I don't dare put any more in writing online!

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Frau Katze's avatar

😺😺😺

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