Trump Enraged After Gold Paint Peels off FIFA Peace Prize
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump exploded with rage on Thursday after gold paint peeled off his FIFA Peace Prize, White House sources revealed.
The regrettable incident occurred in the Oval Office as Trump was celebrating his recent pardon of the former Honduras President and convicted drug kingpin Juan Orlando Hernández.
As Trump lifted the trophy to show it off to Hernández, flakes of gold paint cascaded to the ground, causing Trump to roar, “Peace Prize? More like piece of shit!”
Attempting to appease Trump, FIFA released a statement stressing that they had used “only the highest quality gold paint, like that used on the Oval Office, the new White House ballroom, and your hair.”
A Cognitive Test for Trump
Now that the FIFA Peace Prize has garnered his ire, what other organizations should step up and award him one? I say Hooters.
If it would make him happy I would give him the Nobel Peas Prize.
I'll be happy to get a can of peas from a good brand like for example "Le Sueur Brand Premium Canned Vegetables". Spray paint the thing yellow (we'll tell him it is of the purest of pure gold) and name the thing Nobel Peas Prize.
For info, "Le Sueur Brand Premium Canned Vegetables" also has "very young small sweet peas" in the offering. We'll use one of those cans for his Nobel Peas Prize.... I'm sure Trump will appreciate the link to his dead BFF Epstein!