634 Comments
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Andy Borowitz's avatar

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE GODDESS, E. JEAN CARROLL! ❤️

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JeffJ's avatar
16hEdited

Can she buy up his mortgage on Mar a Lago? P.S. Re: the Epstein birthday drawing: why does Trump always draw pubic hair on the bottom of his executive orders?

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bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

Why waste money on a tacky nouveau riche palace? It's probably sinking into thr Gulf of Avarice anyway

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Sandra Nicht's avatar

so she can evict him from it, knock it down, and erect affordable housing on the site.

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Octavia Redwood's avatar

since it WILL surrender to the sea at some point, tear the buildings down and make it a nature preserve

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Nancy Morgan LeBar's avatar

That is a good idea also. The ocean will continue to rise. Need to find another one of his properties for affordable housing.....maybe NOT in Florida.

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Annette's avatar
3hEdited

and Siberia for tRump? Then he'll be close to his best bud, who's playing him like a kazoo (because fiddle is too sophisticated for ConOLD)

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bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

I like this idea

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Sandra Nicht's avatar

that's a nice idea too....

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Nancy Morgan LeBar's avatar

That's my thought also. Affordable housing, with a very sturdy sea wall as the ocean will continue to rise.

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Veejer's avatar

Problem is....that piece of land will be a toxic waste site for at least a century. And it's not like the EPA is going to want to go near it to clean it up.

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John Townsend's avatar

No, it's overpriced on all Trump's documents, deeds, like the rest of his holdings.

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Margaret Blough's avatar

If Trump's stinginess (when he has to use his own money), I'll bet he's skimped on maintenance (the photos taken in Mar-Lago during the FBI's execution of the classified documemts case were seriously unimpressive). The only people who might buy it are his billionaire buddies.

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Susan Stone's avatar

Russian oligarch buddies.

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Tricia Wilson's avatar

She.might buy it and offer it to the unhoused and/or all of the undocumented former employees. Or as one suggested a Planned Parenthood center. Black history center. Or… suggestions?

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Annette's avatar

regardless, Ms. Carroll would do the right thing, the right way . . . and deserve the respect of all of us <3

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Peter Scott's avatar

Turn it into a Dollar General store.

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Nancy's avatar

I will never be able to unsee this and will laugh heartily each time he flashes his Sharpie-signed folder. :-)

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Amy Cain's avatar

Love “Sharpie-signed”! ty!

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Barbara Longbrook's avatar

🤣

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Steve Schwartz's avatar

A nice frock. And half to Planned Parenthood.

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Elisabeth Birker's avatar

Such a great lady and humanitarian! And ever sooo funny and smart!

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John Townsend's avatar

Several nice frocks, stilettos, big designer purses, etc., etc.

Whatever her heart desires.....

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Patty Bohart's avatar

Absolutely!

Planned Parenthood should be on everyone's donation list next to NPR.

thanks!

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E. Jean Carroll's avatar

Andy! SALUTE!!!!

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Liz Schick's avatar

You go girl!!! Thank you for persevering and prosecuting that disgusting man. Spend some of his money on donations to the ACLU. It’ll really make him mad.

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Terri's avatar

Congratulations and felicitations. You rock, lady !

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Annette's avatar

Ms. Carroll ~ this could not have happened to a more deserving woman. You have set the bar high for all of us and we thank you! <3

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Linda Mitchell, KCMO's avatar

Congrats, Ms Carroll!

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Susan B's avatar

We know you have great plans for this money and will make a difference. PS Love your upstate cottage. It’s divine!!

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Michelle Ponkutcat 060's avatar

Ms. Carroll, thank you. Your grit, determination and, yes, humor as well, is what got you through this ordeal. May you have many sunny, beautiful days ahead. Spend your money however you want!!

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Margaret Blough's avatar

I truly admire and love her to bits. She had to know the onslaught she'd be facing if she continued to hold him to account, and she didn't flinch when she hit onslaught

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Alan's avatar
14hEdited

EJC has exhibited incredible and rare courage fortified by a strong spine.

She could use some of the awarded money for substantial donations to scientific organizations that promote advances in spinal health and self confidence -- two traits in short supply on Capitol Hill and in the courts here and abroad -- such as:

1. The Foundation for Research and Education in Minimally Invasive Spine Surgery (FREMISS)

2. The North American Spine Society

3. The Brain & Spine Foundation

4. The Brain & Behavior Research Foundation

5. Women's Advocates and individual shelters

6. The Center for Courage & Renewal

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Peaceful Mary T.'s avatar

I also suggest establishing a "Search for My Balls Dept." for many of those Congressmen/women who cowtow to the dicktator-in-Chief. (yes, the misspelling and small d was intentional) ;)

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Alan's avatar

Peaceful Mary T. -- One needs to remember to budget for electron microscopes 🔬

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Peaceful Mary T.'s avatar

LOL!!

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Annette's avatar

<snort laugh> I'm channeling some joke about moth balls, but the whole joke escapes me

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Annette's avatar

Yes!

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Ken's avatar

How about establishing yr American Rape Museum, commemorating the history of female subjugation and sexual abuse?

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Octavia Redwood's avatar

Better yet-The Rapists Museum, with paintings and photos of rapists (American and not) throughout history.

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Annette's avatar

with emphasis on vindication

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Annette's avatar

<standing ovation>

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Elisabeth Birker's avatar

Hear hear❣️ So proud of you E. Jean Carroll❣️ and THANK YOU!!!

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Alan's avatar
14hEdited

An Addition to the Preceding Posted Lists:

EJC may choose to support the International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA): A global network of professionals and former cult members who provide information, support, and consulting on issues related to psychological manipulation in high-demand groups.

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Rose Jacob's avatar

When life gives you lemons you make Lemonade. When life gives you a settlement from the Orange One - you make investments!

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John Gregory's avatar

only after the check has cleared ... and I would not hold my breath waiting for the check...

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Terri Ann Pollock's avatar

What I was going to say

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

John Gregory speaks truth.

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Pat Ebervein's avatar

I'd like her to use the money to: bring back the rose garden as it once existed; redecorate the oval office so it no longer looks like the tawdry, cheap, tacky site of his kleptocracy; donate several million to entities that provide support for victims of sexual predators, and finally, find a way to have herself some fun, fun, fun!

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Donna Maurillo's avatar

A huge fan to direct hurricanes directly at Mar-A-Lago.

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David T Moran's avatar

NO We, as in ordinary Americans would have to pay for its rebuild.

At over billed prices and the money going into t-Rumpys pockets.

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Concerned Citizen's avatar

And no FEMA!!!

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Frau Katze's avatar

Here’s the story on latest about Epstein. I can’t find an archived copy.

https://www.wsj.com/us-news/law/epstein-birthday-book-congress-9d79ab34

You can see some of the details here with no paywall.

https://ca.news.yahoo.com/wall-street-journal-publishes-birthday-192413038.html

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John  F. Phelan's avatar

Fund a shelter for abused girls and women.

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Diana Whitney's avatar

I am on the board of a domestic and sexual violence agency in west central Illinois. We would love her support.

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Susanna Lundgren's avatar

Fair justice!

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Barbara Longbrook's avatar

Yes!

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Kim D's avatar

Don't quote me, but I think she's stated that that's her plan!

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Suzi Harkey's avatar

Pay for security agents for all the women who went public regarding the Epstein case.

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Bill Leavens's avatar

The US gubmint isn't about to protect those women. I think this an an excellent idea. Between that and helping to fund the battered women's shelters, she can accomplish something tremendous. But maybe save enough to buy herself something nice that she can admire and take pleasure from. Maybe a vintage Ferrari or a vacation home in Newfoundland. Or both.

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John Townsend's avatar

Newfoundland? Buy the state of Florida, kick out DeSantis, make it over!

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John Gregory's avatar

if people there are properly vaccinated.

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RoseAnn Ronnan's avatar

Yes, kick out DeSaster and take that surgeon general with him and the 6 week abortion law with them!

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shee-rah's avatar

Or a vacation home in Greenland.

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Annette's avatar

perhaps purchase homes near every one of ConOLD's golf courses, so he has to drive past each weekend!

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shee-rah's avatar

Good one!

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John Townsend's avatar

Bodyguards with guns!

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Suze's avatar

And a team of shit hot lawyers who won’t be intimidated. Hopefully they will all be women too. And, of course, she can treat herself to what ever her heart desires.

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Gayla Bjork's avatar

Absolutely!

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Annette's avatar

<golf clap>

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Dave Drum's avatar

Not all his bribes. Not even clo$e. He's been a whore his entire life.

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Lee's avatar

Educate future voters on critical thinking skills, common sense, and kindness!

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steve's avatar

MAGAs???? A racoon with rabies would be easier to teach. You can't fix stupid!

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JEAN ELLISOR's avatar

You can't fix stupid, but you can muffle the sound with duct tape. 🤪

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John Townsend's avatar

Do I hear a splash in a deep lake....?

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Annette's avatar

<double snort laugh>

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Annette's avatar

<snort laugh>

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Wis's avatar
15hEdited

I like this - I’m not sure maggots would respond though. You’d need to build a life sized replica of trump and program it to deliver this education in trump-speak, without lies, and scripted and lucid. Maggots only have eyes (and ears) for him, their beloved demi-god. That’s how to make them listen.

‘Course, “without lies, and scripted and lucid” would probably tip even maggots off that it’s not really trump…

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CARLA M LA ROSA's avatar

If it's coming from a Trump idol, MAGAts will believe it. They have no ability to distinguish facts from lies.

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Michael Stayton's avatar

And on Fox 'News'

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Annette's avatar

like a golden trojan horse? I bet if you throw in, "like nobody has ever seen," "in two weeks," "concept of a plan" in there occasionally, the sheep will be fooled easily.

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Wis's avatar
2hEdited

Yes! Perfect! It’ll be hyoooge! But it’ll only be gold-plated. 😉

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Ruth Glass's avatar

Great idea.

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John Townsend's avatar

Yes! A daunting, quixotic task, yet needed so much!

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Terri's avatar

GREAT idea !

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Connie Davis's avatar

I think it's a great idea. but I don't know how it would be implemented. We don't teach critical thinking in skills in schools now, now it's hard for me to imagine a meaningful venue.

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Jeanney Kutner's avatar

Any way she wants to!

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Robot Bender's avatar

As she's said. She's going to spend it supporting all of the causes he hates! ❤️

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Peter Scott's avatar

That’s a L O N G ass list!

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Wis's avatar

Yes!!

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John Townsend's avatar

Hallelujah, amen!

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Dawn Kucera's avatar

I salute her courage. A number of law firms and universities could take a lesson.

E. Jean has said she is donating the money to charity. Good for her. What a quality person, full of elegance and grace.

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Annette's avatar

<standing ovation> the world needs more E. Jean Carrolls

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Robert's avatar

She might set aside a small amount to pay for forensic handwriting experts to confirm what seems pretty obvious about the birthday card to Epstein

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

Not necessary

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MLK's avatar

The NY Times has already posted proof -- Dump's got the exact same signature from c. 2000 docs.

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Robert's avatar

I think my dog could testify on this one

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MLK's avatar

I wouldn't want your dog contaminated by Dump's smell or signature.

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Frank D Repp's avatar

I'm not sure it's Trump's work; it's grammatically acceptable with accurate spelling.

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Robert Matthews's avatar

He probably had a secretary type it up. Then he added the art.

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Robert's avatar

And it is documented that “enigma” is one of the few big words he knows

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Jim McCarthy's avatar

Exactly, though the word “art” may be a stretch.

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Robert Matthews's avatar

Is " pornography of a pubicient girl" better? The manchild gives away his hand at every turn.

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Frank D Repp's avatar

But did he gropeth e secretary too?

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Robert Matthews's avatar

Most likely but that didn't affect her grammatical skills.

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Annette's avatar

he had Eric help him with the "big" words

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Frank D Repp's avatar

But who helped Eric?

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Annette's avatar

Roger Stone

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Allyson Ross Davies's avatar

Totally up to E. Jean how she spends it😏

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

Of course! But I’m sure she welcomes input.

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

Of course! But I’m sure she welcomes input.

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Chris Edwards's avatar

Hand spurs. Brilliant!

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Hugh Jarce's avatar

Chris, you've no idea how happy it makes me, a lifelong Arsenal supporter, to see spurs get such a bad rap.

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John Townsend's avatar

--which still allow the grabbing of you-know-whats since those spurs belong to a star.

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Annette's avatar

my favorite part! He's just a spurious person - lol

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Allyson Ross Davies's avatar

My guess is that she doesn’t need inout…she’s got it figured…😏

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HarrisWalz FTW 2024's avatar

My guess is that she knows her chances of getting her hands on it are still extremely low. He'll take it to SCOTUS and his Bend the Knee Six will prevent her from getting most or all of it.

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MLK's avatar

Not so much bend the knee, as suck the mushroom.

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John Townsend's avatar

Sadly, you may be right!

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HarrisWalz FTW 2024's avatar

If the man prays for anything, it's that he can get this stalled until she passes away. Or would it go to her estate?

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Mary K's avatar

I doubt that E. Jean is going to go first!

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Being a state crime and a state decision. wouldn't it go to

the State Supreme Court?

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David Gardiner's avatar

Proud co conspirator!

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John Townsend's avatar

Oh, but I hope she does spend it!

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Mitchell Forman's avatar

In 1996 Trump was deputized as part of an undercover shoplifting sting operation in the Bergdorf Goodman dressing room.

E. Jean Carroll was simply frisked as a suspect.

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CARLA M LA ROSA's avatar

Well, that's certainly the story that "little Johnson", Speaker of the House, is telling everyone.

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Annette's avatar

yes, because anything actually "porn" related, he would have to report to his son

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John Townsend's avatar

Trump should have been given a deep cavity search himself!

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

The cavity that needs searching is his head.

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Annette's avatar

oh, that's easy . . . there's not much up there

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Robert E.'s avatar

Right shoe or left?

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Annette's avatar

no way in hades would I volunteer for that task

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Victoria Zielinski's avatar

Hand spurs is genius!

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Monap's avatar
15hEdited

Buy a billboard outside of Mar-a-lago with her smiling photo

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John Townsend's avatar

--with red and pink flashing neon arrows pointing to it!

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Annette's avatar

buy a home on both sides of Mar-a-Lardo with yard signs that say, "you are now entering sexual predator territory"

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Barbara Longbrook's avatar

Oh yeah!!😆

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

I love it.

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Ed Weber's avatar

I love the smell of schadenfreude in the morning.

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MLK's avatar

EXCELLENT! Thanks, Ed!

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Susie's avatar

Bravo! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

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Diane Heiman's avatar

Fight for reproductive rights and anything else that helps women.

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Anne McCabe's avatar

Publishing the Epstein report

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