Trump Honors Those Who Helped Others Avoid Service at Tomb of the Unknown Podiatrist
QUEENS, NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In what has become a Memorial Day tradition for him, on Monday Donald J. Trump laid a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Podiatrist.
Trump made his annual pilgrimage to pay homage to the heroic doctors who issued bogus diagnoses to ensure that their privileged patients never answered the call of duty.
In an emotional tribute, Trump thanked the fallen foot specialists who bravely risked their medical licenses so that others facing military service could be free.
Choking back tears, he said, “They gave everything so people like me could give nothing.”
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Memorial Day is a good time to remember the guy who started an illegal war in Iran got out of military service with five deferments with “bone spurs” and called our fallen soldiers “suckers and losers.”
All gave some
Some gave all
Trump didn’t give a shit