Trump Offers to Sell New Pope $60 Bible
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a gesture intended to welcome the new pontiff, on Thursday Donald J. Trump offered to sell Pope Leo XIV a $60 Bible.
“You want to grab this deal while you can,” Trump wrote in a post on Truth Social. “It’s gonna cost a lot more after EU tariffs.”
Calling the Trump Bible “a very special Bible,” he added, “I know you have a lot of Bibles already at the Vatican, but none of them have parts written by Lee Greenwood.”
Meanwhile, in his first official act as pope, Leo ordered a photo of JD Vance posted at the Vatican security desk.
Trump pointed out his Bible is the only one you hold upside down and never read.
Keep JD Vance far far away!