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Andy Borowitz's avatar

Honored, as always, to collaborate with the magnificent Ann Telnaes! And let me give a shout out to all the new subscribers who are joining us today. Welcome to TBR community! Please comment often!

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LHS's avatar

OMG, these are fabulous. "God Immediately Regrets His Creation" is brilliant! Thank you for all of them!

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Nancy Salamon's avatar

Yes, God regretting his Creation is the best of the best. And exactly WHERE is that vengeful God when we need him/ her/ them the the most????

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Anathema Addams's avatar

Yes, we're in dire need of some old-fashioned smiting.

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John Townsend's avatar

--not to mention smacking!

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MLK's avatar

I need a smote!

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Suzy Fraser's avatar

Love your name! LOL

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Kathleen D. Pierce's avatar

I've been saying this since January 2017!

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Ellen Harris's avatar

🤣😎

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felice's avatar

Is there a god? Remember when that question was making the rounds? and if there is, does he look like a trump family member? I cannot believe that no one is sufficiently ashamed to admit that the US is going to hell in a handbasket while the rest of the world is laughing itself silly. No wonder XI, PUTIN and UN didn't include Trump in that meeting. They know he is a moron and never keeps a promise or pays his bills.

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Irene Carlyle's avatar

THEY know it.....why didnt the electorate know it???!! AARGGGGHH!

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Annette's avatar

Because they're just a smidge less in intellect than their despicable leader.

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Margaret Zwald's avatar

Actually, if they had paid attention, they did know but did not believe he would do it and worse. They did not understand that it would affect them.

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Annette's avatar

exactly, Margaret; they didn't understand they would be affected too!

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CARLA M LA ROSA's avatar

They knew it. But, for them, voting for a WOMAN was way worse! She wasn't "qualified"...And we know exactly what "qualification" she is missing!

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Penny Pawl's avatar

Her race also had an negative effect on some voters who can't see beyond their noses. She was great in California.

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Jim Yoder's avatar

Because the electric has a short memory, hopefully they’ll remember when the midterms come up

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David Gardiner's avatar

The Oddball Out was probably the source of Un's mirth during the meeting.

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Helena Handbasket's avatar

Going to hell . . . HOW????

Don't send him to me!!!

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Gordon Shumway's avatar

He/She obviously washed his/her hands of the human species centuries ago...

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John Townsend's avatar

He/She regrets giving us hands!

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Sandra Hardie's avatar

And that brain definitely has a few major flaws that should have been caught in the prototype. So much for Omniscience.

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Harvey Perry's avatar

And “intelligent design”.

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Susan Mongar's avatar

Love your comment!

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Al Keim's avatar

The angels are pedaling as fast as they can. The cyclotron has to build up a charge large enough to be stored in the heavenly capacitators. Once sufficient bolts are safely stowed the God who loves us but gave us the free will to pick this one as the very best out of a throng of 350 million will save our sorry asses by unleashing the fateful lightning of his terrible swift sword! Glory Glory Alleluia!

Oh by the way that's the way we used to talk and we meant every syllable. Feel free to hum along.

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Annette's avatar

Al ~ every time I hear I Glory Glory Alleluia, I think of the Melanie lyrics:

Oh sad is the masochism, the vagaries of sex

Have turned half the population into total nervous wrecks

But your analyst will cure you, long as you can pay the cheques

As the id goes marching on

Glory glory psychotherapy, glory glory sexuality

Glory glory now we can be free as the id goes marching on

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Al Keim's avatar

I think God may be embarrassed by the Battle Hymn of the Republic but people need a reason to believe. After you pass through the wormhole of self what's left is others. The idea of God made a great leap when it left self behind.

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Annette's avatar

amen! <3

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Jim Yoder's avatar

I had forgotten this

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John Townsend's avatar

In deep Mourning!

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Irene Carlyle's avatar

perhaps he/she's been deported?

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Barbara Ewart's avatar

Time for a smote!⚡️💪😎

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CARLA M LA ROSA's avatar

If there is a God, it's definitely not a "her"! No woman in that position would allow this complete destruction of morality.

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Kate Decker's avatar

Yeh.

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Paul Ehrenzeller's avatar

God’s away on business. Who are the ones that we’ve kept in charge? Killers, thieves and lawyers!

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PRL's avatar

We need some Old Testament Justice...please.

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Robot Bender's avatar

That one should be called "Pull My Finger."

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

LOL

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David's avatar

The mushroom was an unexpected but great detail.

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Lizard-Bro's avatar

Ann had to draw it 10 times life size to make it visible. 🔎

BTW…

🥳 HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! 🥳

#🏴 #🏴 #🏴

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It's Come To This's avatar

They’re all wretched. Kind of like the Addams Family without the wit, charm and grace.

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Bradford W.'s avatar

I wish I could unsee this one.

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Barbara Ewart's avatar

Complete, even to his teeny tinky winky! 🤣

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Michael L Flynn's avatar

This reminds me of a certain fascist who cleansed all of the German museums of "Degenerate Art".

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John Townsend's avatar

--because it rivalled the real-life degeneracy of that government?

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Michael L Flynn's avatar

True. But, also because Hitler, like tRump, tried to micro-manage every aspect of German life. To Hitler, any modern art or any art with a Jewish influence was considered "Degenerate".

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Hugh Jarce's avatar

"Degenerate" art being banned by degenerate excuses for human beings. Some would call that irony.

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Jenny Lens's avatar

LOVE Ann Telnaes. I too am subscribed to her Substack. So perfect! This is a keeper! Thank you both so much!

Every morning, I read dismal news and emails. Just wrote a scathing response to a WordPress plugin maker whose "help" was so vague I wanted to reach into my computer and smash their site and app (WP Mail SMTP plugin).

THEN I read your column. Now I'm smiling.

Thank you always!!

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Sandra Hardie's avatar

Note(s) to Self: Open AT first, TBR second, Make coffee third. Start the day.

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Lizard-Bro's avatar

Making coffee last AFTER reading AT and TBR is the smartest thing you can do… cuts down on spit-takes.

BTW…

🥳 HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! 🥳

#🏴 #🏴 #🏴

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Sandra Hardie's avatar

That was the plan, Lizard-Bro. Which New Year are we Happy-ing?? Same to you anyway. :-))

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Lizard-Bro's avatar

🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

🥳 I have decided to wish

🥳 everybody a Happy New

🥳 Year every day through

🥳 at least 2029

🥳 So…

🥳 HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! 🥳

#🏴 #🏴 #🏴

(Why THREE BLACK FLAGS?

#🏴 #🏴 #🏴 🤔

1. The First One is for Q45/47* AND ALL OF HIS GQP QMAGAT TRAITOREPUBLICAN FRIENDS.

2. The Second One is for SIGNALGATE.

3. The Third One is for TARIFFGATE.

https://open.substack.com/pub/lizardbro/p/fly-the-black-flag-updated_2-39f?r=23874p&utm_medium=ios

)

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Sandra Hardie's avatar

I think there is a character limit to Substack posts. You are most likely going to run out of Black Flag space by 2029. On the other hand, it is a rather vivid depiction of what we are experiencing. Go for it!! And HAPPY NEW YEAR to you too.

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Alan's avatar

Andy and Ann -- These brilliant works of art curated by the most artistic Administration in the history of America bring back vivid memories of the bulletin boards in my kindergarten classroom -- where only the best art derived from the students' creative crayons was posted. Bravo !!!

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Marmo's avatar

To New Subscribers: Welcome!

This is the tip of the iceburg. You're in for a treat.

You'll find that, yes, you can still laugh after all.

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Annette's avatar

I second that, Marmo - I find TBRers the wittiest, most empathetic and hysterically funny group of truth tellers ever . . . lead by the brilliant Andy Borowitz (and Cookie and Mousse).

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Lucy Sage's avatar

I subscribe to and greatly appreciate both of you! Thank you for making me smile on grey days!

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Jean Enderle's avatar

These are fabulous! Thanks for making my day!!!

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Aslo White's avatar

LOVE Ann! My favorite political cartoonist. Thank you for this!

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Bob Weber's avatar

Laura Loomer’s portrait was added with her revised version of the Bible. In the Revised Loomer Edition of the Bible, Jesus appointed Judas as Chief of Staff, replaced his Disciples with the money changers from the Temple, and established a “Money for Miracles” menu of charges for services rendered.

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Martha E Kubala's avatar

The Money for Miracles charges have already occurred with Trump's woman in charge of Trump's Religious Department (can't remember her name or the name of the department). She was selling for $1000 prayer benefits for those who pay. Those benefits included financial gains and destruction of one's enemies, among others.

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

Yes, White passionately asks her followers for $1000 and she will send them 1000 angels to protect them. Get me the barf bag!

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John Townsend's avatar

Don't worry--the angels will get you one!

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Annette's avatar

are those angels like the ones in the Oval Office, all gold and sparkly? lol

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bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

That would be Paula White, following on a loooong line of religious charlatans selling bibles, scarves, crosses and other items that carry special "blessings".

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Lily's avatar

Things are so crazy that they leave satire in the dust! Cannot come up with anything those idiots haven't done or aren't doing!! A department of the US government selling "prayer benefits"? As they say, "you can't make this stuff up."

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Sandra Hardie's avatar

They are just copying the Roman Catholic Church. They called them "indulgences" and they pissed Martin Luther out of his socks. Fast forward to 18xx, and even "reformed" church members sell snake oil and other goodies out of the back of a wagon. Took a while to upgrade the wagon to Liberty U and associates. Where is this century's Martin Luther??

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John Townsend's avatar

Wish someone could not think of this stuff in any way....

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Annette's avatar

the 21st century version of snake oil

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Annette's avatar

ah, the "true" Christians!

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John's avatar

Brilliant!

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John Townsend's avatar

Including plastic surgery?

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Sandra Hardie's avatar

Oh, that's good, Bob!!!

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Anthony Hughes, PhD's avatar

And these are the new Bibles Trump is selling on the safe streets in DC.

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Annette's avatar

<standing ovation>

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Mary Cochran's avatar

Trump is so outrageous that at first I believed this. He’s already taken over the Kennedy Center, why not the Smithsonian’s art? Hope the doesn’t give him any ideas.

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JAMES LEE FLEMING's avatar

Yes, the beauty of Borowitz articles is that they challenge those neurocircuits which access that sweet spot between utter shock and “ drop dead, roll over hilarious”

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Imogen Howe's avatar

At first I saw "NEUROCRATS"!!!

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John Townsend's avatar

Who knows? May happen!

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Imogen Howe's avatar

Is happening?

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Anne Lesser's avatar

Thanks

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John Townsend's avatar

Challenge until the ultimate fry.

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Annette's avatar

<golf clap>

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LHS's avatar

I thought there might be an Autopen portrait, but I have to admit, Ann's creations are way better than anything I could dream up.

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

She’s pretty brilliant.

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Annette's avatar

and she's pretty and brilliant :)

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Anne Lesser's avatar

Hope it does 'cuz it means he reads/fears YOU!

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marlyg's avatar

Oh he's already is on a mission to "white wash" the Smithsonian! Just like everything he disagrees with, he wants to hide the real history of this country.

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Mary Cochran's avatar

“White” is the operative word here.

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marlyg's avatar

Exactly!

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John Townsend's avatar

-along will applying cheap-looking, overabundant gold leaf!

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Robot Bender's avatar

His clowns are already going through the Smithsonian removing anything they deem "woke," whatever the Hell that means. 🙄

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Mary Roeser's avatar

Not a single one of the MAGAT morons (but I repeat myself) knows what the word means. It has become so meaningless it could mean anything, or, as I believe, nothing at all. It has become trite, banal, and overused by intellectually lazy mental midgets.

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John Townsend's avatar

--of which there are now legions.....

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Annette's avatar

<snort laugh>

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Annette's avatar

Wok is dead (thanks, South Park)

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John Townsend's avatar

Trump already has enough bad ideas as it is!

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Anne Lesser's avatar

Thanks

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Annette's avatar

well, he HAS rewritten history in some of the museums, so anything is plausible

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DebbieM (OH)'s avatar

I had to explain to my trump-loving cousin that Borowitz's articles are satire. These people make me feel like a Mensa genius. 😢

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glenn faass's avatar

In Alberta, Canada, we have a Trump acolyte as our provincial premier. I wrote a post called "Smith nails it again!", congratulating her on one of her most notable failues with outrageous over-the-top phony compliments. About two-thirds of the comments were from her supporters who thought I was one of them. In other words, the lunatic fringe is also clueless.

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John Townsend's avatar

Lunatic fringe=tattered minds!

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Catherine Alvarez's avatar

Manitoban , Quebecer here, living in California at the moment .I follow all Canadian news as much as possible . The current Alberta premier is a red hat trumper . She is disgraceful 😡

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DebbieM (OH)'s avatar

😱

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

What? There is someone in Canada who actually

LIKES this guy?

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Annette's avatar

deliver us from evil!

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Jordan Sollitto's avatar

The actual Trumpsphere is so satirical as to make Andy's stuff almost indistinguishable from it. In a paradoxical way it must make parody much more challenging than when the target material isn't already so utterly absurd.

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Catherine Alvarez's avatar

I know the feeling Debbie .

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DebbieM (OH)'s avatar

👍

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John Townsend's avatar

--or at least a stable Mensa genius as opposed to the regular "stable" kind!

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Annette's avatar

if you have to tell people you're a genius . . . you're not

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Catherine Schmidt's avatar

This is hysterical…..thank you for another comic lightening strike in this toxic storm.

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AVee. (Alexia)'s avatar

Brilliant satire as always

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Kelli Meland-Lewis's avatar

All of these works of are Spot On!

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Eric Smith's avatar

I’m waiting for the “official” portraits of JD Vance and Donald Trump with oversized eyes on velvet, next to one of the dogs playing poker.

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John Townsend's avatar

--and the dogs will be smarter and better-looking!

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RoseAnn Ronnan's avatar

God help the doggies!

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Annette's avatar

<snort laugh>

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Mike Sabes's avatar

Maybe he will frame and show his drawing for Epstein's Birthday Book!

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

He doesn't write drawings.

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Annette's avatar

nor does he draw words . . . but he does make a few up or resurrect "old-fashioned" ones

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Stunning, in every sense. I bow at the feet of Ann Telnaes and already know in my heart that her ankles are not swollen.

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John Townsend's avatar

--and that she has a heart!

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Martin Begley's avatar

Great piercing commentary from Mr. Borowitz and special kudos to Ms. Ann Telnaes for her hilarious and piercing artwork.

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Mark Bloom's avatar

This just in: Trump to clean up the Smithsonian Museum so there's no trace of the Epstein files.

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John Townsend's avatar

In fact, the Epstein files will be made into a papier-mache' collage with lots of shellac!

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ANNE MILLER's avatar

When he “goes,” can we rename the Kennedy Center at least? 🤢

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crazybirder's avatar

When he goes we will jackhammer the concrete Rose Garden, rename everything, wipe the fake gold leaf off every surface in the oval office, take down whatever has been started of his idiot ballroom, and undo every s--t executive order he ever instituted. And may his ugly face never grace any government building in DC. Maybe we can wipe his name from history - call him "he who must not be named."

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Robot Bender's avatar

I think we should imitate the Romans and initiate "damnatio memoriae." Everything is removed from everything, statues, buildings, etc.

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Mary Roeser's avatar

Yes. Statues of the person had their heads lopped off, the name of the person was excised from inscriptions, and feces was smeared on any pictorial representations of the person against whom damnatio memoriae was declared. Their names were forbidden to be spoken in public.

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Sandra Hardie's avatar

Wow!! Can we form a Super-Pac to start saving up for that? I'll donate.

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

When he departs and the regime is reduced to rubble, we will go in and fumigate the WH first. Then we will remove the cheap gold crap that Mein Fůehrer had placed all over the Oval Office.

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John Townsend's avatar

--melt all the gold down, repay the national debt!

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RoseAnn Ronnan's avatar

If it's real gold

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CARLA M LA ROSA's avatar

It was paid for by our tax dollars, so it just might be real gold! And if it is, Trump will take it with him if he ever leaves.

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Gabriele C Overweg's avatar

The goldish oval office looks like a house of ill repute. Although it's a classy one according to the present tenants.

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John Townsend's avatar

Lots of prostitution there, not necessarily of the sexual kind.

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Annette's avatar

<standing ovation>. It is, indeed, a house of ill repute!

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Erik Staub's avatar

right on, can’t wait

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Sandra Hardie's avatar

The Egyptians did that to Amenhotep. He disappeared for hundreds of years until some misguided archeologist found a trace of him somewhere and he got re-inserted back into the Egyptian pantheon. Never did find out what current Egyptians thought of that. Or what happened to that archeologist.

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Annette's avatar

Yes!! I totally agree! Good thing he's putting his name on so many things, so we know where to start our revisions!

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Triple Amen!!

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Octavia Redwood's avatar

and pass a new law that changes the role of a sitting president to name shit after himself

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John Townsend's avatar

The quicker, the better all around!

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Terri's avatar

Loved them all. Ann is so spot on, however, based on the recent development of his kankles, the drawing of the Orange Menace needs a revision. Small vulgarian hands are still correct, however! Thanks for the laughs.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

I noticed that, but, either way, swollen or not, he's a klutz.

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Veejer's avatar

If you are so inclined, Ann, I'd love to see this as a regular feature. So many masterpieces begging to be included in the satirical wing. Oh, excuse me, I need to break up a fight. "Garden of Earthly Delights" just cross-armed "The Peaceful Kingdom".

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Carola's avatar

Love 'em..... but it's hard to decide which one I'd want to hang first.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Carola, do you mean which drawing or which member of the trump clump?

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Jay Freedman's avatar

Both.

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John Townsend's avatar

Art usually involves being hung on a wall, without any squeezing, swinging.

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John Townsend's avatar

How about all at once.....?

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