Trump Says He Slapped Tariffs on Foreign Films Because Subtitles Encourage Reading
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Offering an explanation for his sweeping tariffs on foreign films, on Tuesday Donald J. Trump argued that movies with subtitles “encourage reading.”
“Parents think their kids are safely at the movies, not spending two hours reading,” he said. “This should never be allowed to happen in our country.”
Calling the practice of reading “disgusting, quite frankly,” Trump said that the tariffs would cut off reading “at the source.”
In his most dire warning, he claimed that reading subtitles could lead Americans to read books, and eventually the Constitution.
Only One Day Left to Save 40% on a Paid TBR Subscription!
And it might encourage them to find a library afterward and ask to see the restricted section.
New reporting reveals that the EO on reducing fentanyl coming across the borders will be combined with the EO on foreign non-English films so American children do not get hooked on drugs or phonics.
Also, the pots of gold at the end of Reading Rainbow will be confiscated by the "Dogers".