258 Comments
User's avatar
Steve Lang's avatar

andy, you always say that everything you write is true. but this one is the most true thing you have ever written. and the soundtrack will be martha and the vandellas: dancin’ in the streets.

Andy Borowitz's avatar

The turnout will rival Taylor Swift’s wedding.

Jim Dygert's avatar

Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd

Jonathan Aborn's avatar

They’ve become comfortably dumb……

Owlette's avatar

Great song!!! One of my all time favorites.

Glenn Sills's avatar

Sorry but no. The soundtrack will be "Thank You Very Much" from "Scrooge". We all know that this is true.

Carol Quantock's avatar

If you don't have these already, may I suggest "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang, "Walkin' on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves, "Morning Dance" by Spyro Gyra, "Feels So Good" by Chuck Mangione, "Linus and Lucy" by Vince Guaraldi, and "You Made Me So Very Happy" by Blood, Sweat, and Tears. I had forgotten about the song from Scrooge (thank you Glenn), but it's perfect!

Paul Ehrenzeller's avatar

There are a lot of these lists on Spotify-you should put yours there too, it’s great!

Steve Lang's avatar

superb playlist!

Jennie Coburn's avatar

I love this, definitely the Pointer Sisters!

Sharon P's avatar

Free Again (Barbara Striesand)

Robert E.'s avatar

Please include the song "Thank You...Be Myself", Sly and The Family Stone. Yee Hawww!

Elizabeth Bridges's avatar

We need to be besties🤣🤣Love, love, love your playlist and hoping we all get to play it before long🩷

Kathleen D. Pierce's avatar

OMG! Loser by Beck!🤣 We need that NOW!

Unsafely Anonymous's avatar

"Death on Two Legs" - by Queen

"You Rascal You" - performed by Louis Armstrong

C K Smith's avatar

I LOVE your playlist! Please keep adding to it and letting us know. Thank you!

Barbara G Bornstein's avatar

You did an outstanding job!

BTAM Master's avatar

This is extremely obscure: (Kentigern 1979), but the gist is dancing on someone's grave.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTjyIB52Xn8

lyrics:

https://thesession.org/tunes/10841

"If she were deid, I wad dance on the top o’ her"

Lydia's avatar

Brilliant!! I am enjoying your play list right now-- in anticipation.

Bad Ass Boomer's avatar

Great choices!!!!!

Annette's avatar

<appreciative applause>

Diane Doyle's avatar

Or singing "Ding Dong, the witch is dead."

Robert E.'s avatar

And "It's a Beautiful Morning", by the Young Rascals.

H. Bob Miller's avatar

Not only in the streets but also on his grave.

Katy's avatar

I think we should include "YMCA" in the music so we can all mock his stupid dance. And for SURE make it a national holiday for celebration every year!

Susan Barnes's avatar

Ding dong the witch is dead.

Al Keim's avatar

Martha and the Vendettas "Dancin' on your Grave.

Annette's avatar

Oh Happy Day - sung by multiple church choirs

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Love that song!!! It can really joyously rock -- and how apropos is THAT?

Rose Edgar's avatar

OMG everything you say is true but comical. My first giggle of the day, don’t know how I ever got by without your daily posts. Thank you Andy for making my day!

William DeYoung's avatar

To some degree I agree with “him”. Many people will want to leave their own expression of gratitude on his grave.

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

May he "express" himself most copiously.

Jim Dygert's avatar

One in particular…

Carla Spackler's avatar

Immediately thought of the Who’s Next album cover.

Jim Dygert's avatar

Exactly! And an appropriate song from that album..”Won’t Get Fooled Again”

Marilyn Jackson's avatar

If only I could pee standing up.

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Stock up and bring the bucket!

Virginia McDaniel's avatar

Once again, you've brightened my day

AVee. (Alexia)'s avatar

And we will be dancin’ dancin’ dancin’ in the streets!

💙🇺🇸💙

Al Gorythm's avatar

Mourners who will instinctively flock like flies to a steaming pile of excrement will be vastly outnumbered by grave dancers.

Mary-Jean Miner's avatar

And so many will celebrate bigly! The world has never seen such jubilation! Everyone says so!

Ray Sturm's avatar

Trump is a very sick, self-centered, arrogant, schmuck. He is exactly what our Founders feared would be the destruction of the nation. I would highly recommend people research and read George Washington's Farewell Address, "Sharpened by the Spirit of Revenge", September 19, 1796. The more I read and study the words of our Founders the more I am impressed by their vision, hopes, and doubts, whether this grand experiment of building a most unique nation would work. It has and continues to evolve. We must VOTE and PRAY that this tragedy ends and we return to our visions of world peace and national harmony. As Brooklynites might express it, "We gotta get rid a dease bums!!!

Jim Dygert's avatar

The sounds of champagne corks popping will be deafening!

Sean M Carlin's avatar

Cannot wait for the repairs to the REFLECTING POOL to start DE-LAMINATING. This MORONIC ADMINISTRATION thinks they are going to put a band aid on this FAILURE when they did not hire a single INSPECTION FIRM to explain why it failed? Please show me some similar projects where it worked? Good luck finding ANY!

Kathleen D. Pierce's avatar

It's peeling apart because HE drove over it with tons heavy motorcade before the sealent dried. OMG, the sheer stupidity!

Sean M Carlin's avatar

Polyurea dries very quickly as it is 0 VOC and solvent less. It is applied by plural spray with the base and iso catalyst mixing at the gun. Driving on it didn’t help, however there is a laundry list of other issues. Btw there is dry time and cure time.

Carol Ring's avatar

Here's an oldie but goodie:

An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night. There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump.

Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past. Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere. It was absolutely the BIGGEST CELEBRATION WASHINGTON HAD EVER SEEN!!!

Trump was very impressed and said, "That's really great!

By the way, how did I look in your dream?

Was my hair okay?"

His assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed."

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Coffee-snorter!!! May her dream come true asap.

Mary-Jean Miner's avatar

Can’t tell that one too often!!!

Shannon Kincaid's avatar

The only funeral in history where the eulogy begins with, 'Nobody's ever seen anything like it.'

Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

As well as “Many of you have been waiting for this day…”

Shannon Kincaid's avatar

I know *I* am waiting!

Chris Maloy's avatar

Let's find out if he's right.

John McClure's avatar

could not have said it better!

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

<THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE>

Martha Franklin's avatar

Hoping we see the proof soon. Today is good.

Lorenzo's avatar

Considering that the world would have been better off if he had never been born, the question is: what reasonable, moral person will miss him?

Sandra Nicht's avatar

He told a partial truth but refuses to acknowledge that millions will come to spit on his coffin and bury it in dog shit.

Golden Rule's avatar

One can never be to harsh when it comes to this Lying Sack of ... I plan to bang pots & pans and whoop & hollar when that blessed day arrives. Hopefully soon.

Natalie Parker's avatar

Ratz! I should have banked some fireworks last week!

Sandra Nicht's avatar

yes. and the longer this man lives to continue to destroy our nation the harsher I will be.

on the bright side (assuming there is one) I practice yoga so I don't plan to hasten his demise...

OM Dum Durgaye Namaha

I will let the Buffalo Demon Slayer take care of him when She's ready.

Simply Susan's avatar

You can't handle the truth, Andy!

Judith Richards's avatar

Wait a minute. What about cat shit, horse shit, chicken shit, and elephant shit?

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Sure, yes, why not? However, doggie poo is particularly odiferous, ergo more suitable to the occasion methinks. How'z about taking up a collection at animal shelters -- THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!

Marc Panaye's avatar

For once the orange-faced felon speaks the truth.

There will be massive crowds because every person present will want to check that he really is dead and will want to poke the corpse with a stick to be sure.

Laurence G's avatar

Every day we awaken and say, "Is he dead yet?" I love the huge crowd at his rally, consisting mostly of Chlorophyta!!!!!!!!!! Why hasn't he been arrested? SCOTUS needs a major overhaul, as well. Andy...why are you not running for office. I'd help with your campaign!!!!!!!!!!!