Trump Sends Barron to Podiatrist
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a nationally televised address Saturday night, Donald J. Trump announced that he had ordered his son Barron to visit a podiatrist.
“My fellow Americans, earlier this evening, at my command, Barron saw a podiatrist,” said Trump, flanked by JD Vance, Marco Rubio, and Pete Hegseth. “I am pleased to announce that he has returned home safely.”
“Barron’s mission was to obtain a note from the doctor,” Trump added. “Mission accomplished.”
Minutes after the speech, a new poll showed that a majority of Americans favor dropping Donald Trump on Iran.
Looking forward to chatting with you good people about E Jean’s book Sunday at 7 PM (Eastern). I finished it today and it is truly hilarious.
They would have dropped Donold on Iran, but the payload was too heavy for a B2.