151 Comments
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Andy Borowitz's avatar

He is indeed sharp. He only spent $35 billion on the war in Iran to get the Strait of Hormuz open—which it already was before he spent a nickel. Beginning to understand how he bankrupted his casinos.

Bergman Ronald's avatar

Been going to Atlantic City since my very early YUTE with my parents and brother. Loved the sights and smells of the Boardwalk, Planter’s Peanuts across from the Steel Pier and even the infamous diving horse show. Some of of my best experiences were the delicious fast food everywhere. Still go to the iconic White House Sub Shop for cheesesteaks and subs.

If Dumpie had just stayed in his lane and not left such a disgusting indelible mark on the City like he did to the country and the world, we all would have been better off.

But, alack & alas, our spirits are resilient, and with constant humor and resolve, we will all very happily move on.

felice's avatar

I remember the old Atlantic City boardwalk too - saltwater taffy, rolling wicker pushchairs for those who didn't want to walk, ...

Bergman Ronald's avatar

Of course, I left out a lot of memories including holding on to my Dad’s shoulders as he dove through the rolling breakers (have loved body surfing everywhere since then and the long runs in AC were among the best); making sand castles and digging holes with my little shovel & bucket (finding coins that years later I figured out had been planted for me); shoveling snow and cutting grass as a preteen, then splurging & spending hours in the Arcades playing machines and skeet ball, winning tickets then getting juice glasses etc. for my sweet and fun Mom, who was born & raised in Central NJ with her identical twin sister and other sisters. Went back to THE SHORE as a young adult with my HS girlfriend, all of us born & raised in Wilm, DE, later on going to Margate, Somers Point, OC NJ, Wildwood, etc.

When the Popeil brothers sold the vegematic on the Boardwalk my parents bought one. Many years later, Ron Popeil’s step sister was visiting DC and we dated a bit too, traveling one time to VA Beach.

So many more memories, including private life affirming ones during significant transition times in my late teens, early 20’s too. In college and law school lived and worked in Rehoboth DE as a bartender at THE HENLOPEN HOTEL for two summers. Etc, etc etc.

CowboyFrankie's avatar

And in the process of bankrupting the casinos, he stiffed a large number of his subcontractors and suppliers, as well as misled the NJ gaming commission on sources of funding (lied about issuing junk bonds). Even back then, he had established the pattern of not "think[ing] about Americans' financial situations." Once a scumbag NY real estate developer, always a scumbag NY real estate developer.

Dr. Richard's avatar

ALL of us in NYC knew this but the rest of the country either did not care or deliberately ignored his gross incompetence and lies. THEY became MAGA and THEY are our most dangerous ever domestic terrorists.

LHS's avatar

He didn't even wait to bankrupt anything before stiffing his subcontractors. Ask any subcontractor who worked on Trump Tower in New York. Actually, you can't ask some of them, because he bankrupted them by not paying for the work they did on Trump Tower.

Rosalie Huntington's avatar

Oy!

Stephen Brady's avatar

4? He is more like a 3 year old - a terrible toddler... l'enfant terrible!

Paul Ehrenzeller's avatar

I was thinking it was 4 in dog years!

Pradnya Sikand's avatar

😂Thanks for a Merry Monday Andy! As a proud grandmother of a four year old , I must add that they are highly intelligent, can use multi syllabic words and know that bad behavior has consequences! P.S. The horse has my vote for commander-in-chief! 😂💕The laughter is always therapeutic!

bruce schneider's avatar

At least he bankrupted the casinos without getting 40,000 hopeful Jersey Shore protesters killed during the Saltwater Taffy Uprising. Oh for the good old days when he was just a real estate gonif from Queens!

foofaraw & Chiquita(ARF!)'s avatar

If only it was a HEALTHY (or sane) 4-year old....

LiverpoolFCfan's avatar

Exactly. I would call him an inveterate threenager, forever tantruming and self-obsessed.

Marylou Webster Ambrose's avatar

Well, naming a horse after himself makes sense since he's a "stable" genius.

Pat Ebervein's avatar

Yes, there usually is quite a stink to be found in a stable...and a pitchfork as well.

Kathleen D. Pierce's avatar

And a horse's ARSE!

Jim Dygert's avatar

Named a horse after himself? Is this where the saying “horse’s ass” comes from?

Stephen Pardys's avatar

The American Pediatric Association immediately produced a disclaimer saying that four year=olds were unfairly depicted.

Lois Mummaw's avatar

My grandson just turned 4 and he is way smarter and kinder than you-know-who. PS He would hate the idea of a UFC fight!

Joanne Elizabeth Schulze's avatar

Like Trump the horse, Trump should be put out to pasture.

Peaceful Mary T.'s avatar

Or shot, as they do to horses with bum legs.

Robby's avatar

Or a bespoke orange glue factory? 🐴🧡

Michael Richmond's avatar

He probably claimed he could outrace that poor horse that bore his name.

matclone's avatar

No one knows more about horseshit than he.

Michael Richmond's avatar

Well, Baffert maybe.

Tammy Mackinnon's avatar

I still think he’s preverbal. I’d say one-year-old, one and a half, maybe. And then he turned into a one year-old four year-old. And then a one year-old 80 year-old who is somehow president?! But yeah — I agree — bulldozing the east wing, having a cage match w a giant claw, even dropping bombs on Iran and Venezuela and Cuba and maybe Greenland because he likes them to go boom? That def came from a one year-old four year-old. I am convinced the madness, no ego, no super ego; he is pure Id. A horse is a horse of course of course. Unless of course, the name of the horse is the talking Mr Id — but w no conscience, and no will kept in check by a working conscience, to direct what he says and does.

Think about it. He’s shameless. You can’t have a super ego and be incapable of being shamed if you’ve done something shameful! And you can’t have an ego unless the Ed and the super ego the conscience are working together to provide a strong ego. Most presidents have very strong egos; generally speaking, the job probably requires a degree of narcissism.

This guy is not a narcissist. He is not a malignant narcissist. He is a full on sociopathic, possibly psychopathic, Talking Bombing Id. He operates fully from his limbic system; the man is nothing but reptilian brain. He might have a prefrontal cortex, I don’t know, but I do know it’s not gonna light up on an MRI.

Sorry to be so serious here!

I am pissed off! Bc when I go to the doctor for my annual, there’s no box to tick for losing one’s democracy to a Talking Id! And I think there should be! And ofc I can draw a box, and write “Losing my democracy” next to it — right after “Suicidal ideation?” and idk, “Do you feel safe at home?” or “Are you food insecure?” (no, yes, no) and I can tick it — BUT I FEEL ROBBED! BC I HAVE HAD IT W PPL WHO KNOW BETTER DOING FUCK ALL!

Dan Starr's avatar

Early in his first term, I read an op-ed (sorry, can’t remember who wrote it) that explained everything. The writer said there is no point to seeking a “theory of Trump” (that is, some kind of consistent political position), for there is none. His brain does not work that way. The only constant is that he will do whatever he believes will give him attention and money right now. So his “position” can flip overnight, he doesn’t care about future blowback, and he doesn’t even notice how his actions harm others. He’s stimulus-response all the way down.

Dr. Judith Schlesinger's avatar

Nicely put. I think too many excellent minds are wasted trying to come up with "the" definitive characterization of him. It's almost become a parlor game, at the end of which we are no better off than we were before. Now, if all those fine mentalities could focus on how we undo his damage to our country, even if in our own little ways...

L B Rose's avatar

He has never had to face consequences. His Daddy was always there to bail him out and cover up the mess. Without consequences, he couldn't learn anything. And never did.

SunnySideUp's avatar

What's missing from his CV is at least 22 months of federal prison time. He could have become a more useful citizen, like Michael Milken, perhaps opening a McDonald's next to the White House.

LiverpoolFCfan's avatar

Agreed. Lizard brain.

Kate Delano-Condax Decker's avatar

Tammy MacKinnon: Yes. Your analysis is spot on, in my view. A person in power who murders indiscriminately (Venezuelan fishermen in boats, citizens of Iran, just two horrendous and horrible examples) is just what you say. A full blown psychopath. Thank you for this.

David A L's avatar

Ah, but he knows which end of a sippy cup to drink from, proving what a stable, 4 yr old genius he is.

David A L's avatar

STOP MAKING ME SNORT COFFEE out my nose

Andy Borowitz's avatar

Apologies!

Annette's avatar

it's so worth it, David!

Peter Wood's avatar

Which end the of the horse did he name…?

Diane Smith's avatar

Yup yup yup. (No offense 4 yr olds.) The DT/RFK Jr is one of your finest, Mr B!!

Andy Borowitz's avatar

Thank you!

BTAM Master's avatar

Very sad the storm did not cancel the fight.

Peter Shaw's avatar

Trump has always enjoyed naming things, sometimes hastily & w/o care. The reflecting pool is now known as “Trump’s Tears” & the JFKennedy Center “The DJT and What’s His Name” Center for the Arts”. The cage match construction on what used to be the WH RoseGarden: “DJT’s Easter Egg Cage Match Garden”.

Robyn Boyer's avatar

Tick, tick, tick, tick....

Robyn Boyer's avatar

I meant time passing...as he ages and rots before our eyes.

Rosemary Ehle's avatar

Me too, Robyn

He compared the massive, claw-like lighting structure ("The Claw") built on the White House lawn for a UFC event to the Eiffel Tower. Trump noted how the Eiffel Tower was built in 1889 as a temporary display for the World's Fair but was never torn down. He then added about the White House structure: "maybe we'll never, ever take it down".

Doris Buchmann's avatar

He really deserves his limbs removed though……

Kate Delano-Condax Decker's avatar

Doris Buchmann: ...kindly continue with your thought... :-) !!

Michael Moorin's avatar

Our 4-yr old grandson: He met his friends at the park today. The kids said they saw a frog and the kids who aren’t Wilson said “ahhh! It’s a poison dart frog!!!” And Wilson said “actually, poison dart frogs live in the Amazon rainforest, and we live in North America. So it’s not a poison dart frog”. That comparison to a 4-yr old is unfair to 4-yr olds!

Annette's avatar

kudos to your grandson . . . love peer-to-peer teaching moments; I think it encourages kids to help each other discover facts and truth (and hopefully carry that skill into adulthood)