677 Comments
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Frank Flynn's avatar

I always thought Trump deserved the Nobel prize in literature for the Trump Bible. “Hey, I could have written it.” That’s good enough for me.

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Joseph M Becker's avatar

Nobel Prize, no; Ignoble Prize, yes.

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Elene Gusch's avatar

The Ignobels are brilliant! But for non-brilliant researchers, that is.

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Joan Conroy's avatar

Perfect comment. Thanks for the much needed laugh !

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Joseph M Becker's avatar

That is black humor.

Trump would cringe thinking I said he favored Black humor.

His politics reflects a pigment of his deranged imagination.

That said, he is not nearly as effing^ crazy as Kennedy.

^ I wrote ‘effing’ because I did

not want to offend any

sensibilities by writing

‘fucking’.

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Kandy Brown's avatar

Black Humor? Wouldn't Trump deport it?

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Annette's avatar

or at least lock it up

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Kate Decker's avatar

Hilarious comment! :-) !!

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John Townsend's avatar

-brown humor, too, especially!

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Susan Linehan's avatar

no, just ban it as DEI

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M Seits's avatar

Please: always add Jr. after the name Kennedy as Bobby Sr. was a great man and Jr has trashed his name & reputation….

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Susan Linehan's avatar

I just refer to Jr as RFuK.

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M Seits's avatar

That works!!

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Dorothy G Ferguson's avatar

K Jr.

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SUSAN D. RODGERS's avatar

I agree. I have thought many times that RFK would be truly ashamed of his namesake.

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Dawn Sweredoski's avatar

Caroline Kennedy and the rest of his family warned everyone about how off the rails he is! I think some in Congress - the GOP - love crazy knitwits because that gives them something to respond to or talk about rather than doing anything meaningful and just for their constituents.

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Dorothy G Ferguson's avatar

Nit wit. As a nit of a body crab that presumably has no wits.

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Oaktown's avatar

Just call him worm brain. He doesn't even deserve RFK with the Jr.

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Mary Gilbert's avatar

Fucking is OK for us to say, not for the leader of the free world when describing other nations & their leaders.

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Chuck and Bev's avatar

Hey, it's not like he did something really heinous, like wearing a tan suit!

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

OMG, not the...TAN SUIT😱

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Bobbie75's avatar

Nope. Using profanity makes the the speaker look crude and unintelligent. I prefer to use actual words.

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Mary Gilbert's avatar

I generally use appropriate words to communicate as I was educated by the Jesuits, but sometimes you just ‘gotta’ say WTF???

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Mary, I don't understand "WTF." Please spell it out so that I can keep up. (Did that work?)

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Ralph's avatar

But tRump is Crude and lacks common sense at times.

He calls other people stupid (ex Chairman Powell).

Guess it takes one to know 1 !

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Dorothy G Ferguson's avatar

At times? No sense at times?

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Kate Decker's avatar

I like the way the British do insults: Years ago, in Punch, was this little item:

Rearrange these words into a well-known phrase or saying: stuffed get.

:-) !!

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Jodie Pine's avatar

You probably mean former free world?

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Sensibilities? We don't need no stinking sensibilities. Jane Austen and John Huston would salute you.

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Kate Decker's avatar

I met John Huston once. My father was making a photo portrait of him. We waited for almost three hours for Huston to appear -- he did, finally and my father got the shots he needed. Huston was absolutely a charming guy, easy going, friendly, low key (handsome!). I said, as he was about to leave, that I was glad to have met him, and that we had been waiting 3 hours for him. "I hope it was worth it!" he said smiling.

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John Townsend's avatar

Should have replied with a "so, so" gesture!

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Elaine Fleming's avatar

I love it when someone shares a story and this is a GREAT one. Thanks!

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

That is a nice memory, Kate. I love these things, so thanks for sharing. Yup, agree on "handsome."

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Judy Shaffer's avatar

You're on fire this morning!!! Snorting my coffee!!!!!

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Jim Yoder's avatar

oops you said fucking...I'm offended 🤣

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Chuck and Bev's avatar

Here's a treatise on why people of discernment use the word:

https://archive.org/details/JackWagnerattr.MontyPythontheWordFuck

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

So good and it got funnier as it went on.

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

That was hysterical🤣🤣🤣 Thanks for the link!

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William R MEYER's avatar

I never thought about Trumps choices before in terms of comparison. One way to appear tall is to surround yourself with short people. One way to seem smart is to surround yourself with stupid people. That explains most of his cabinet choices. Hanging with Putin, Kim jong Un and Bibi, Trump could almost pass as a statesman. And I suppose, compared to RFK, Trump does seem sane.

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Joseph M Becker's avatar

Agreed, but that is a low, low bar.

Speaking of bars, Hog’s Breath probably thought that Trump had ordered that

Iran be saturation-bombed with 30,000 lb canisters of vitamin B-2.

The official designation of that plane is B-2 Spirit.

Mentioning spirits reminds me again of Hog’s Breath.

FWIW:

The B-1 is designated B-1 Lancer.

Non yet in service, the B-21 Raider is named in honor of WWII’s Lt. Col. Jimmy

Doolittle’s Raiders who were instrumental in bringing the war to Japan.

The B-52 Stratofortress began service in the 1950s and is expected to be

pjasedd out by 2050. Yes, that was 1950 and 2050.

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Pat Ebervein's avatar

Ya got me! ROTFLMAO!

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Bobbie75's avatar

Senior version ROTFLCGU

(Can’t get up).

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Annette's avatar

love it . . . my iteration was ROTFLPIMP (peeing in my pants)

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Susan Stone's avatar

Unless you're my husband who refereed soccer games for 38 years. He's had two hip replacements, but he still gets up off the floor easily. Unlike me.

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

So true🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Sally Joy Rubin's avatar

Awesome!

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Martha Moses's avatar

Haha !! A good one

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Kate Decker's avatar

Hilarious comment! :-) !!

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Ginny K's avatar

He. Is. So. Fucking. Stupid.

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Gjay15's avatar

Maybe not? Some people are saying that he voted for Kamala Harris.

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Bobbie75's avatar

Too stupid to mark the ballot. Actually, he also voted for Hillary and Biden. He thought he was marking off the ones he didn’t want.

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Gweneth West's avatar

My favorite MSNBC MOMENTS… Lawrence O’D opening monologue when he says over and over and over how “STUPID” HE is. MUSIC TO MY EARS, HEAD, HEART….

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Ellen McKenzie's avatar

Hilarious.

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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Gweneth West's avatar

Perfect “STUPID HATER VOTE by low-functioning CONCEPTUAL DYSLEXIAck, ack ack ack ack ack ack ack 🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶 We oughta know by now….ow ow ow ow ow ow” OUCH!!!!

Sing out, LOUISE!

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LHS's avatar

Many people are saying...

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Peaceful Mary T.'s avatar

With tears in their eyes...

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Annette's avatar

because she came before him in "person woman man camera TV"

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Penny Pawl's avatar

bet Melina did

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John Townsend's avatar

We would wish......

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Purobi Phillips's avatar

And classless. White trash.

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Jim Yoder's avatar

That is a very good statement. I have been around a lot of wealth in my life and it is amazing to me how classless and "white trashy" most of that wealth really is when you strip away the perceived image that they project.

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Gjay15's avatar

Yes you find out quickly that having wealth has little relationship to class after one weekend waiting tables at a resort for the rich and famous

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Robot Bender's avatar

Can't buy class.

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Jim Yoder's avatar

I'm sorry, I know how rough that can be. I hate that those that have don't truly appreciate the people who are working hard to make a living. I see it way to often in my business too.

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Gjay15's avatar

That was a long time ago for me. But I learned so much from the people who worked there with me. Thank you for your kind comment. Jay

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Purobi Phillips's avatar

We live in Rome as well as in Lisbon and San Francisco. Wealthy folks in Europe are so very different. In Rome we happen to live in a very posh neighborhood and we appreciate the class of our neighbors every single day.

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MLK's avatar

I lived in an ordinary Italian town and one in PA. Even ordinary working people in the former still demonstrated more class than those in PA and certainly more than Dump, e.g., they attended thoughtfully to how others were treated and engaged them with courtesy. Dump is just a doughy lowlife.

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Annette's avatar

A!Men!

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Kate Decker's avatar

Do you want to replace the period marks with exclamation marks ? :-)

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Patti's avatar

Who knew that all Nobel prizes are awarded in Sweden except the Peace Prize? I did not know that Norway has this honor. Thank you, Andy, for the elucidation!

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

This is an educational website.

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Patti's avatar

And everything you say/write is true. 💕

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

And I feel duly, truly McEducated.

(later edit -- just remembered that people say "edumicated.")

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Patti's avatar

I love TRB - Andy has created a wonderful community. While making us laugh/snort/chortle/chuckle/guffaw. Stops us wailing that the world is wrong.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Oh, my dear Patti, you are so right, correct and good. You also need a little nap. You love "TRB?"

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BTAM Master's avatar

The Report Borowitz is the classy French version.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

𝘈𝘣𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵, with an 𝘢𝘪𝘨𝘶 -- 𝘙é𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵.

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Patti's avatar

Il rapporto di Borowitz works for me.

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Patti's avatar

I’ve been a fan since his NYer days, L.R.! I think temperatures not constantly in the 90s for the past week+ would ease the pain. That and acqua altissima for this disgusting shitshow in Venice would be way far better than a nap.

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M Seits's avatar

Love that you mentioned the “disgusting shit show in Venice”! Think how many Amazon workers could be given better working conditions & raises with the $$ he’s spending on it….

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Oops, I must clarify. I was referring only to the TRB in place of TBR. Please don't be cross with me. And just this moment, your "laugh/snort/chortle/chuckle/guffaw" caught my eye, which, in its sleepiness, saw something like "chorklefaugh."

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M Seits's avatar

Yes but also potentially dangerous as I almost choked laughing so hard when I saw the headline about the Peace Prize!

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Toddy McClain's avatar

Let's get a McMaster's Degree.

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Joseph M Becker's avatar

Rather than speaking glowing^ of Trump, in the book about his time in the first Trump administration, former Director of National Security Gen. [Ret.] H. R. McMaster incinerated^ the “fucking moron” [Rex Tillerson, former CEO of ExxonMobil and Trump’s first Secretary of State].

^ pun intended

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Bobbie75's avatar

He qualified when he made the fries.

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Linda Barry's avatar

If the Peace Prize is awarded in Norway, no doubt McStupid will bomb Sweden - or maybe Stockton, CA

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Lynn Tuohy's avatar

Wouldn’t it be ironic if the Nobel committee awarded the peace prize to Melania for her “brave and quiet dignity” in the face of unconscionable blasphemy?

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John Townsend's avatar

--but, again, who cares?

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Lynn Tuohy's avatar

I was thinking that there is probably much that is unknown by the committee. We can all share private snarky smiles about the reality that we think we know.

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Frances López's avatar

Not Stockton! That's too close to my town of Modesto, CA.

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J Cheng's avatar

I love McEducated. suggests his teacher was Ronald McDonald the clown......

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Susan Stone's avatar

L.R., I always heard it as "eddicated" (or something like that.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

I've only heard "edumicated," but all variants are possible. To my ear, "eddicated" sounds like the the speech of someone whose Novocaine hasn't completely worn down.

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Gigi Pavlovich's avatar

I like McEducated. It fits!

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Irna Gadd's avatar

You tell the truth, all the time 😁

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It's Come To This's avatar

In the middle of woe, you make us laugh!

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Pat Ebervein's avatar

From whence came the word "woebegone!"

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Al Keim's avatar

Like a giddyap in reverse.

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Catherine  Novak's avatar

As in "whoa begone!" ? <} ;<D

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Al Keim's avatar

It was a long way around the barn.

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Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

🤣😁😅 Love me some great word play!!!

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Mary Appel's avatar

Payddig?😅

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Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

And why is congress trying to cut off funding?? We are always learning!!

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OleFlyer's avatar

How else to get folks to buy their BS?

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Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

It was a rhetorical comment

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OleFlyer's avatar

agree- "We are always learning"

. . . and Johnson's crew hates that!

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John Townsend's avatar

--and Congress, Trump doesn't!

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Tom Ciantra's avatar

It would have been more realistic if you had Trump threatening to bomb Sweden or Denmark as I doubt he knows Norway decides who wins the Peace Prize. (Full disclosure: I didn’t).

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William R MEYER's avatar

I would love to see an executive order cutting off funding for the Nobel Peace Prize unless Trump wins it. Or better yet, have one of the Maga faithful push a bill through Congress and see how many votes it get. Or he could just rename it The American Peace Prize and give it to himself.

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CARLA M LA ROSA's avatar

Jeez! Don't give him any ideas!!

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M Seits's avatar

Yes it is necessary education!!

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Jodie Pine's avatar

And what I really want to know right now is if Mousse (sp?) and Cookie are getting used to each other.

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Actually, it really is!

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Joseph M Becker's avatar

Thank you for reminding all that laureates are ‘awarded’ a Nobel Prize, rather than having ‘won’ one. [Alliteration not intended.]

The dress code for recipients at the award ceremonies is ‘formal’.

In tails, blubber-boy would be a body-double for a grossly obese penguin .

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

A grossly obese, drooling penguin wearing a long, flapping red tie with a tux. And thanks for "awarded." It's rare to see it expressed correctly.

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Patti's avatar

This is an educational site.

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Don't forget the "MAGA" hat, L.R. I thought he was

going to wear the damned thing to the Pope"s cor-

onation.

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Annette's avatar

I love that image, L.R., and am also repulsed by it

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Ellen McKenzie's avatar

Would he be allowed to wear his MAGA hat?

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Frances López's avatar

LOL

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Lee Roscoe's avatar

An insult to penguins, which are adorable. Perhaps grossly obese troll?

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LHS's avatar

The Troll Anti-Insult League would like a word with you.

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John Townsend's avatar

Put them on "hold".

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Jim Yoder's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Adorable, yet apparently quite stinky, so the stinky part kinda fits (sorry, penguins!).

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bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

Please. Even the largest, fattest Emperor penguin would have a charm and panache that Trump will never ever have.

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Susan Stone's avatar

We had the privilege of watching a couple of male King penguins arguing over how to best take care of an egg, when we visited a colony of them in the Falkland Islands. A never to be forgotten experience, especially since my husband captured it on video. BTW I don't think you'll ever see a fat Emperor penguin, even in zoos.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

How special that is, Susan. I know how I would love to see them in their natural habitat. To see them, males especially, sharing the care of the eggs and then the hatchlings. And they have the sunrise at their throats -- that's what caught me long ago.

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Susan Stone's avatar

That trip was so worth it, L.R.! It took a 2-3 hour drive each way in an ATV over peat bogs to get there. There were a bunch of youngsters, too, full size but still covered with down. There were Gentoos and Magellanic penguins there, too, but the Kings stole the show. For me, the beach also stole the show, being covered with wildflowers.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

How blissful it sounds, Susan. Speaking of "covered with down," I must be a little fuzzy-headed. When I read that there a bunch of youngsters, I thought you meant that you were sharing the ride with some other people.

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Toddy McClain's avatar

Blubber Boy rings out.

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Joseph M Becker's avatar

‘Rings out’, yes; he is such a ding dong.

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lougee's avatar

what color maga cap goes with a tux

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Stephanie MacLeod's avatar

Thanks, I was so confused! Norway is the peace prize, Sweden is the rest, I stand less confused, always a plus these days.

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MLK's avatar
1dEdited

But given Dump's f'g remarkable grasp of f'g world affairs, shouldn't he be threatening to f'g bomb Sweden?

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Michael Spiegler's avatar

The "only hint" that TACO didn't say Norway (rather than Andy writing it) is TACO's knowing where he will not be going to receive the Prize.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

“𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘕𝘰𝘳𝘸𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘢𝘯 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘦, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥.”

The guy is a natural orator with a vocabulary to be envied. If you want a nursery-rhyme vocab, that is: A fuck-fuck here, and a fuck-fuck there, here a fuck, there a fuck, everywhere a fuck-fuck....

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J Cheng's avatar

my ear worm for the day!

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Marian Lang's avatar

He’s fucking diluted my favorite fucking word!

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Robin D's avatar

Don't fucking let him ruin it for you or he's fucking won. Carry the fuck on LOL

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Annette's avatar

raise that banner of fuck high and carry it proudly

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Robin D's avatar

Fuck yeah! 🏳🤗

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Marian Lang's avatar

I meant to say fucking obliterated, but I guess my phone AI objected 😂

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Robin D's avatar

Diluted was funnier 😂 Fuck AI too! I once used the AI writing asst on my kindle fire. I highlighted a paragraph I was writing on a post about "him" and it came and said I sounded angry and I was. I told it to fuck off and never used it again.😂😂

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Robin, good to see you.

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Robin D's avatar

Thanks LR. Laying low for awhile. I need a break.But how could I resist commenting on this Made my day!

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

LOL

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Marian, I must agree with Robin D -- "diluted" has a stronger ring for not having been overdone as "obliterated."

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Barb Z.'s avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Linda MacDonald's avatar

😅😅😅

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Al Keim's avatar

Okay Linda you can laugh about life on the farm if you want.

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Linda MacDonald's avatar

Always my favorite song Al. We have a few chickens so all I can say is **uck here and **uck there!😅😅😅

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Bobbie75's avatar

I remember back in the day they would suggest we be very careful when we sang about the ducks 🦆

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Linda MacDonald's avatar

😅😅😅

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Annette's avatar

Animal Farm, Al!

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Al Keim's avatar

Some of us are more equal than others.

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Annette's avatar

<standing ovation> <snort laugh> <caffeine spew>. You have hit the trifecta today! Congratulations!

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Thank ye kindly, Ma'am.

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

HA! Bravo, LR!😂👏🏼

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John Townsend's avatar

--and nary a f***k in sight!

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Mary Appel's avatar

I despise seeing and hearing that word…. I preached to my son to save it for when your life is in danger but I find I have devolved into using it…out loud and not proud.

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Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

I hear ya! Seems that tRUMP brings out that inglorious ignoble effect on so many, to which I say to the Orange Turd in full odorama, "FUCK YOU!!!"

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Barbara Greer's avatar

Everywhere a fuck up.

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Bobbie75's avatar

Yep!

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Robin D's avatar

🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆😂

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Denise's avatar

HAHAHAHA

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Stephen Kaufman's avatar

Breaking News: Nobel Committee to award Trump the newly established Nobel Prize in Lying…. A lifetime achievement award!

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

Fiction

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PVC's avatar

Nope...History

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John Petersen's avatar

Trump et al OBLITERATING the TRUTH, TOTALLY DESTROYING IT FOR ALL SPACE AND TIME. NEVER COMING BACK. MOST OBLITERATED TRUTH EVER. NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT.

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M Seits's avatar

It’s the BEST obliterating ever!

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Marian Lang's avatar

Everybody knows

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Still Learning's avatar

I think it will go to Karolying Leavitt

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John Townsend's avatar

--and the award is a giant, gilded, Pinocchio nose?

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Diane Johns's avatar

Maybe Trump and Karolyn’s will arm wrestle for the lying prize

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Diane Johns's avatar

Karoline. Stupid auto correct

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Susan Fernbach's avatar

Fake news

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Chris Edwards's avatar

TOFU - Trump Often Fucks Up.

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Janeo's avatar
2dEdited

Everbody's saying he's switched from TACOs to TOFU.

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Susan Stone's avatar

But Tofu is Joyce Vance's family cat. That Tofu has far more class - no comparison possible there. Even a package of tofu has more class than trump - far more, and at least you can make it taste good.

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Janeo's avatar

Personally, I prefer fried tofu.

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Susan Stone's avatar

I like it fried or baked (with olive oil, soy sauce, and cornstarch or arrowroot powder to make it crispy). Just please don't fry up Joyce's cat.😇😇

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Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Hilarious, Susan! 😅😅😅 Nope nopity nope, there's no making tRUMP palatable!

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Susan Stone's avatar

Thank you, Floofie!!

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Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Yeppadoodle, Susan! *mwah*

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Susan Stone's avatar

Floofie, you always make me smile. "mwah" back at you!

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Annette's avatar

I can't believe he's become a vegetarian!

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Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Re TOFU -- Trump does NOT often Fuck Up -- he always dependably persistently fucks up. Give credit where it's due. Ergo...

TOFU -- Trump Omnipresently Fucks Up (fucks up everywhere).

A bit cattywampus grammatically speaking, admittedly, but apt methinks.

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Anne B's avatar

Omg love that …

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Al Keim's avatar

Melania rules.

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Annette's avatar

her rules are: 1) Be Best, 2) I don't really care, do you?, and 3) Show me the money

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Ellen McKenzie's avatar

And I hate looking at your fucking face.

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Robin D's avatar

😂 You know I love you Annette, but I would make one teensy weensy change..

#1. SHOW ME THE MONEY!!! 💍💎💰💰💰💰💰 Cash. Any denomination but USD, Euros, GBP preferred..🚫 Rubles. Cashier checks to other places around the globe. . (No one thinks she's keeping it at Chase or Citibank in NY and going to the ATM do they?)😀 She def loves crypto. Just not the you-know-who coin. She knows that one is a loser.Bankrupt, I think Pay-for-play 🤗

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Frances López's avatar

In my linguistics class, the teacher proposed TURD, but I can't recall anything beyond "Trump Usually R_______ Daily. Help!

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Kathleen D. Pierce's avatar

How about Trump's usually REPULSIVE Daily!👍

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Kathleen D. Pierce's avatar

Ripps as in farting!

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Anne B's avatar

Recants?

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Paul's avatar

when your birthday parade bombs, you must bomb with obliteration.

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Paul's avatar

Does that Make tRump an O'Blithering idiot or an O'Blitheration idiot?

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Al Keim's avatar

Ob-la-de, Ob-la-da Donald tells a lie to everybody's face/ Petey sings along as best he can/ Donie says to Petey boy I like your face/ And they wander off together hand in hand

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Annette's avatar

(lovely, Al... one of my favorite Fab Four songs)

In a couple of years, they have built a home sweet home . . . and then it gets bombed by Iran and obliterated.

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Elaine Fleming's avatar

Thanks, Al. I happily sang along to your new lyrics with the old tune. Made me smile!

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Al Keim's avatar

You, Elaine, are welcome:-)

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John Townsend's avatar

Both--bigly!

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Jim Yoder's avatar

🤣🤣🤣👍

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Annette's avatar

<golf clap>

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Lisa Williams Kline's avatar

I think you should win the prize, Andy. For making all of us laugh in these tough times, which is an act of genius in itself.

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LHS's avatar

Could not agree more! I've always thought there was a special place in Heaven for people that can make us laugh in the worst of times.

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Michael Spiegler's avatar

Not just making us laugh but bring us some peace of mind or peacefulness that we all need these days. Pack your bags, Andy.

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JJC in VT's avatar

Yeah but #Kegseth will be too drunk to help him find it on a map

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Your change of only one letter is genius. I've named him Hogshead for the barrel thing.

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C K Smith's avatar

Sorry, but that's an insult to honest, hardworking hogs! I completely agree that Kegsbreath's head is filled with cheese, but hogs are among the smartest animals on the planet. In a head-to-head intelligence contest, the hogs would win every time.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

C K, I don't know why "hogshead," or how far back it goes, but I'd guess a very long time. Even if I've never been in the company of hogs, I've heard of their intelligence. No comparison was intended. I'll stand for the honor of real hogs every time.

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C K Smith's avatar

Thank you, L.R.!

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Paul Ehrenzeller's avatar

Smegbreath!

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Paul, wash your keyboard with soap.

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Paul Ehrenzeller's avatar

Will do lucky for me it’s just a phone screen!

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Confused as I am just about now, let me add that I was going to say "wash your mouth with soap" for what you "said," but you used keys. Hence, wash your keyboard. Yes, I'm becoming more convoluted, so please go right ahead and ignore me.

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Annette's avatar

we don't ever want to ignore you, L.R.!

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Annette's avatar

lol

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Cindy in Maine's avatar

Hogsbreath works for me.

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Gail Coufal's avatar

Trump called him kegseth after shutting him out.

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Betsy Groth's avatar

Dunno. Maybe he did quit drinking. He is so crabby.

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CARLA M LA ROSA's avatar

That certainly would explain a lot!

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LHS's avatar

I like Kegsbreath, too. :)

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BTAM Master's avatar

You should wash your mouth out with beer.

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M Seits's avatar

Kegseth! Love it!!

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Clare Doyle's avatar

Genius as always. I live for the Andy Borowitz take on the daily insanity!

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Sandra Hardie's avatar

Followed by the chaser of all of these daily doses of sanity in the comments.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Sandra! How dare you suggest that I might be sane even if only for a moment at a time.

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Sandra Hardie's avatar

If you are not sane, what are you doing on TBR???

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Dunno. I turned left at Greenland? (Reference John Lennon, not the big fat pig.)

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Sandra Hardie's avatar

:-)) Good one!!

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Janeo's avatar

Sandra: Please place an asterisk beside the names of the sane ones!

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Sandra Hardie's avatar

In TBR, that would take more time than I have available.

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John  (NJ-VT)'s avatar

It’s so sad at this point that we actually have to declare out independence from this king and his regime. AGAIN!

North East states first. Like we did in 1776. Like the countries of Russia in 1991.

It can be done.

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John  (NJ-VT)'s avatar

I approached both Mikie Sherrill and Bernie with this concept. The Republican party is like a regime at this point along with their oligarchs. As bad as Russia in 1991 and they managed to break away. You want religion, hate, and money running this country, stay. We are moving on.

Oh, humor, how does President Trump and King George, both bipolar, both narcissists, differ. One wears a wig, the other should.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

John, should wear a wig or a gag?

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BTAM Master's avatar

Or at least a large paper bag.

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Bobbie75's avatar

What should we dump in the harbor? Maybe just him?

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Annette's avatar

oh, the list is endless, Bobbie: tRump bibles, tRump fragrance, tRump gold shoes, and of course, those hideous, cheap tRump red hats . . . I can't help wonder that other country's leaders look at him wearing that and thinking "white trash"

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Bobbie75's avatar

Pretty sure they think that even without the hat. Remember his latest language where he proved he could talk like that.

Money can’t buy class.

But yes on the trash he sells.

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Annette's avatar

and you're right on ConOLD without the hat . . . either way, world leaders know he's a douche

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John Townsend's avatar

Tsunami warning first!

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Dotty Hopkins's avatar

California will lead the way

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Linda Byberg's avatar

Take the world’s fourth largest economy away from him. Bankruptcy again.

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John  (NJ-VT)'s avatar

Then help me out and write your legislation.

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Peter Shaw's avatar

To quote Mr. Trump, he is less than “an average mentally person.”

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Glenn Sills's avatar

Man, I really do wish I lived in a world where I read a Borowitz headline and didn't feel the pressing need to check other headlines to verify that it didn't actually happen.

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LHS's avatar

I wish I could like your post more than once!

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Robert Kelly's avatar

Excellent Report today! Thank you. The problem that the US has is a president who is clearly mentally unfit, yet will not be removed because the people who could do it are either (1) busy using Trump for their own purposes, (2) true believers who think that what he says is just fine, (3) too stupid to have any idea of what is going on or (4) all of the above. And of course, removing Trump would just make JD president and that might be worse. Too bad there's no one in DC to do a Spiro Agnew on JD.

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An Mcgreevy's avatar

2 belly laughs, 💕

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Sarah Krall's avatar

Well, it's better than crying...

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Sally McKinney's avatar

Now you've done it, Andy. I'm laughing so hard that I came out of my bomb shelter!

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Sally, let your eyes become accustomed to the daylight. While you're out in the open, get some new equipment. No one uses gadgets called "walkie-talkies" any more. (Merely referring to my notion of bomb shelters. I'm certainly in no position to be snarky about age.

And I don't know yours anyway.)

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Bobbie75's avatar

Here in Missouri, we use basements. 😉

Actually I am 30 miles from Whiteman, not sure if I feel safer with all the equipment or more of a target.

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