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Andy Borowitz's avatar

On a personal note, I was cancelled by a corporation and my life only improved as a result. This is the best gig I’ve ever had, and I’m grateful to all of you for supporting it. ❤️

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LHS's avatar

I heard an interview with Mel Brooks years ago. It was probably on "Fresh Air". He said he was often asked why he, a Jewish guy, made a movie about Hitler, Springtime for Hitler. He replied (and I'm paraphrasing) that the best revenge on your enemies is to make fun of them and make people laugh at them. So true!

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Linda Mitchell, KCMO's avatar

This was the message to some hapless would-be terrorists in Glasgow about 20 years ago, who tried to blow up the airport by plowing their fertilizer and diesel-filled truck into a plate glass window, and only succeeded in setting themselves on fire. An airport employee dragged one of them, on fire, out of the truck and proceeded to beat the living crap out of him. The hapless would-be bombers were furiously ridiculed by anyone and everyone in the UK, and when asked why, one of the comedians (I think it was Hugh Dennis during a Mock the Week segment soon after) said "The best way to show these guys what freedom really is, is to make fun of them. They hate it. And that shows who the Glaswegians are: they'll beat the shite out of you even when you're on fire." I am absolutely committed to the idea of ridicule these f*ckers relentlessly until they explode. Given the Felon's veinous issue, that could be fairly soon.

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Mary K's avatar

Yes, I remember that! Glaswegians are the nicest people in the world, but don't f**k with them on that scale. You will never win!

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Joseph M Becker's avatar

….. Felon’s vane tissue…..

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Susan Stone's avatar

Vain. Vane is one of those things they put on a roof to show the direction of the wind.

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John Townsend's avatar

--and a "vain" person who really doesn't know where or how the wind is blowing!

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Susan Stone's avatar

Good one, John!

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

"You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows."

--Thank you, Mr. Dylan.

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Annie Larson's avatar

Vain, vane, vein. A triplet!

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Susan Coolidge's avatar

It's s play on words.

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Betti Franceschi's avatar

Humor doesn't work unless the grammar is accurate.. sorry.

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John Townsend's avatar

--with the green mortuary fluid of this blood coming out his ears!

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Marmo's avatar

So true, indeed, LHS!

And remember Chaplin's "The Great Dictator" for more mockery of evil people who deserve nothing else.

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John Townsend's avatar

The Awful Orange-ness of Trump would not show through in black and white if Charlie Chaplin had satirized today's situation in his time.....

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RJM's avatar

LHS: Viva Mel Brooks. Humor (and mockery and ridicule but like Andy's - no bad words - is powerful. That is why I've advocated, alas with little success, for the use of the verb flipflop for the DODO since 2016. (Also the noun DODO since he said he wanted to be *D*ictator *O*n *D*ay *O*ne last year.) As to flipflop, it conjures up the image of a fish out of water and on the way out. The man who would be king (or DODO) is truly the king at flipflops.

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Charles Hall's avatar

DODO keeps stepping in do do

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Joellyn Keranen's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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Kate Decker's avatar

I love DODO! :-) I also think PINO fits -- President In Name Only. Any other ideas?

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Sheri Drisac's avatar

Back in 2017, I began referring to trump as the potus imposter.

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Kate Decker's avatar

Great! :-) !! Does it get shortened to PI ?

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Jay F's avatar

Contact with him IS bit like poison ivy

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RJM's avatar

Thanks, Kate.

PINO is good, but will the real president please stand up? PINO was because of elon as i recall and then elon lost his seat. we're left with the usual suspects: vlad the very very very bad, the three steves (although bannon seems to be breaking out and cheung aka odd job is mostly keeping low), and the superannuated but still the top manchurian candidate ever: roger stone. whoever it is hasn't yet claimed the title. and what would that title be: president in fact -- PIF? that sounds ... wimpy. or DFP for de facto president? but the initials could be confused with a combination of slang for 'the' and a curse word and that could cause problems.

but wait. perhaps the real president isn't one person? perhaps it's a triumvirate or a pentumvirate? acronyms fail me.

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Jan Fabiyi's avatar

Pino egrigio

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Bill's avatar

As an old guy, I think he should have his face on a bottle of wine...Pino more

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Jan, we're sending a bottle of champagne over to your table as thanks for that one.

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Mary K's avatar

Fabulous! :)

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Kate Decker's avatar

:-) !!

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Kate Decker's avatar

Pentumverate is nice. (Or, possibly a Lady President? :-) ??

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Marcia Z Bookstein's avatar

I understand that the real president are the men in suits who visit the president, whoever it is, on day one, and tell him what's what. The what is usually war.

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Kate Decker's avatar

Brilliant observation. And true, unfortunately.

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JHB's avatar

BFD...My usual for 'big fking deal', (as in no big whoop) but then there's Big effing Donald, etc etc...

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John Townsend's avatar

Everything is failing around us!

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Hugh Jarce's avatar

Hair Furor (not my original, saw it on the interwebs).

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Bill's avatar

Jabba the Gut

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LYNN COOK's avatar

PINO is the word I prefer and shamelessly purloined ages ago, Kate....

Will add DODO ( sooo blatantly descriptive) to my old ears...& chuckle meter!

Spot On !

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RJM's avatar

OK, here's one: Dictator on Day One - King of Perpetual Flipflops so DODO-KOPF.

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Ann Rock's avatar

Flip flop is also a really flimsy, unsupportive shoe. Fits for Trump since he’s certainly a heel…

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JHB's avatar

with no soul/sole...

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Kate Decker's avatar

SOLE SOUL

A disembodied Soul's

Got soul.

But a disensouled Body's

Got nobody.

-- Rhyme or Reason Kate Delano-Condax Decker

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LYNN COOK's avatar

👏👏!!

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Kate Decker's avatar

...flipflops made with rather cheap, often slightly smelly, artificial rubber?

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Luanne Taylor's avatar

I like Dodo, good job

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Debi's avatar

I've personally been referring to the cretin as THE MANGO MANURE PILE.

As a variant, Braindead Asshole on Day One

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John Townsend's avatar

The tangerine twit-brain?

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Mary Maguire's avatar

POTUS' mouth is fish-like, but more like a sphincter.

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Sandra Hardie's avatar

Clever.

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It's Come To This's avatar

You took this memory right out my mouth! I remember what he said well. He'd been a tail gunner during the War -- cramming himself inside that transparent B-17 bubble with only two machine guns for comfort. He thought about death every hour, every day. Maybe had more people laughed at these assholes when it mattered instead of believing them, he said, millions might have lived.

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Linda Bernard's avatar

That Chaplin movie got a theater re-run recently here in Athens, GA. So appropriate for our times.

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Linda Bernard's avatar

Here's hoping for a new channel come May 2026 where we can watch Colbert without threat of retribution!

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Yes, only tribute.

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Bud Priba's avatar

I think it's called The Pruducers, LHS.😁

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Gordon Shumway's avatar

also, kind of reminds me of the Fawlty Towers episode, "The Germans"

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Alan's avatar

LHS -- Excellent post about my favorite comic movie writer/producer, Mel Brooks. And Mel assembled elite teams of cast members for each of his films.

One small point, the movie you referenced was titled "The Producers" and one of its hit songs was "Spring Time for Hitler". It was a moderate hit as a movie and later a huge hit as a Broadway play.

It would be great if Mel, now in his 90s, could produce a similar type of screenplay for the 2020s -- perhaps entitled "The Crueler Losers".

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Bill's avatar

My father was a liberal to be sure but he didn't like "All in the family" with Archie Bunker. He thought it glorified stupidity and racism. I tried to convince him that is mocked those attributes by creating the Archie Bunker character

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Annie Larson's avatar

I knew liberals who felt the same about the show at the time. They thought it insulting and vulgar. I was young and loved it!

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Anna Bolique's avatar

The movie was The Producers. It featured a song titled "Springtime for Hitler." :D

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Paulette Edelson's avatar

And laugh we did!

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Linda Steere's avatar

I believe that Charlie Chaplin created the original movie by that name.

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Paulette Edelson's avatar

And so we did!

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Linda Bernard's avatar

I can probably sing a few bars of “Springtime for Hitler in Germany…”

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Glenda Funk's avatar

Andy, when The New Yorker dropped your column, that was it for me. I’d been a faithful subscriber and reader for many years. ‘Preciate you.

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Megan Ross's avatar

Same here. I cancelled my subscription shortly after they dumped Andy.

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LHS's avatar

I didn't know the New Yorker dropped it. I assumed Andy quit it! 😄

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

Much like Colbert, I was given no advance warning, and they blamed it on financial issues.

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marypaz's avatar

I am so sorry! I hadn't realized that. Well, I am glad that you have created your own platform. Thank you!

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Marmo's avatar

The New Yorker's loss has been our gain, Andy. If you were still there then you might not have time to be here - and we NEED you.

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LYNN COOK's avatar

Well said, Marmo.!.👌👌

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Michael Stayton's avatar

The little ole financial issue of their merger. I wonder what happens should the Trump regime say "NO" to the merger? Trump fails to keep his side of the bargain before May 2026.

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CARLA M LA ROSA's avatar

Trump was never going to block the merger. He's buddies with Larry Ellison, who is financing the deal and whose son, David, will be CEO over the merged company. None of these rich guys can tolerate being laughed at.

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Marcia Z Bookstein's avatar

Wonder if there's a connection via Epstein. (God, that was nasty of me!)

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LHS's avatar

Well the joke is on them now, isn't it? 😊

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Susan Mongar's avatar

I’m sure your contributions made the other writers look second-rate.

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Lee Roscoe's avatar

Wow. Good to know. They've been a sell out for years and one of their "poets" even ripped off a local journo piece of mine. Now that I know they cancelled you, I will cancel them. Long overdue.

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John Townsend's avatar

Do tell....

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Sally Joy Rubin's avatar

Their magazine would be much better with you in there. But, hey...you've left them in the dust!

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John Townsend's avatar

--and New York City pollution!

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Beth Resler Walters's avatar

And we knew right off it was corporate bullshit.

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SharonG's avatar

I had only just begun reading your columns in the New Yorker shortly before you made your big announcement (and after an old friend had recommended them and, IIRC, shared a couple of them on FB). I enjoyed them so much that I was ready to subscribe to the magazine. When I found out you were leaving, I decided to "cut out the middle man" and invest directly in a subscription to TBR. Have absolutely NOT regretted the decision.

Oh, and P.S., luckily she led me to your fabulous wit and knowledge when she did, because FB has now suspended me "permanently". Another one of those "no advance warning" things, and I have absolutely no idea what they (or Mr. Sugar Mountain) are accusing me of having done...and they allow no possibility of further review or consideration! Or even access to my contact list or saved articles.

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Katherine P Duncan's avatar

Eh, the New Yorker is not what it was. I did not know they had dropped you. Huge mistake on their part. Glad you are here with us!!

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Nancy Nolan's avatar

Me either!!!! Time to cancel New Yorker. Their cartoons aren’t very good anymore, either.

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Lee Roscoe's avatar

The cartoons, those sketch pads, are ridiculously awful and unfunny.

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Babydoc's avatar

I quit the New Yorker about 3 yrs ago - didn’t realize they had dropped Andy. I guess this validates my decision. Now let’s talk about cancellation of funding for Corp for Public Broadcasting

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Sharon C Storm's avatar

The regime is so fearful of intelligent people that they canceled Sesame Street. It is one of the major stumbling blocks for them now. Elmo and Big Bird will be all over other media mocking them.

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Catherine Alvarez's avatar

Sharon I would love to see that .

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John Townsend's avatar

Would love to see a Trump-like muppet in a trash can!

And Miss Piggy's cousin, a J.D. Vance look-alike!

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

I'd rather see trump and vantz themselves in trash cans. Why soil cute puppets?

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John Townsend's avatar

Abomination! Yet somehow not surprising!

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Audrey Ward's avatar

Me too

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EyesWideOpen's avatar

Ditto

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Jeanne Haist's avatar

Andy’s column was the only reason I subscribed in the first place. Subscribing to TBR is a WAY better deal. 😃

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Kent Olsen's avatar

The only reason I subscribed to The New Yorker was because of Andy. Quitting them was easy... I much prefer the current production!

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Rob Kuehn's avatar

Stopped me from subscribing to New Yorker. Also quit WAPO after subscribing to it for about 40 years.

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Pat Purcell's avatar

Me too. The New Yorker has never been the same!

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Joanna Crandell's avatar

We are so happy to have you entertain us, Andy! I have heard that Victor Borge, the Danish comedian, was forced to flee from Denmark to the US because of his anti-Nazi jokes. One of Borge’s jokes was: “Dogs raise their legs, Nazis raise their arms.” You are in good company, Andy!

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Sooz Hall's avatar

I hadn’t heard that Borge joke, but it’s brilliant! As was its author 💗

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It's Come To This's avatar

For those too young and wee to remember: Donald Duck "Right in Der Führer's Face"

"Vhen der Fuehrer says vee ist de master race, vee go heil (pffft), heil (pffft), right in der Fuehrer's face,

Not to love der Fuehrer ees a great disgrace, So vee go heil (pffft), heil (pffft),right in der Fuehrer's face.

When Herr Goebbels says vee own the world and space, We go heil (pffft), heil (pffft), right in Herr Goebbels' face.

When Herr Göring says they'll never bomb dis place, vee go heil (pffft), heil (pffft),right in Herr Goering's face.

Ist we not the supermen? Aryan pure supermen? Ja we ist the supermen, super-duper supermen! Is dis Nazi land so good? Would you leave it if you could? Ja this Nazi land is good, vee would leave it if we could!"

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Bonnie Van Benschoten's avatar

My mom used to sing this!

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Elene Gusch's avatar

The golden age of cartoons!

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Marcia Z Bookstein's avatar

OMG I'd never seen that before! Thanks for the tip--so well done. The closed captions were a bit off, but that was funny, too! By the way, the music's opening bars were from Wagner's Die Meistersinger. So masterful. And the pfft was the tuba. I'll bet the musicians had a good time. Were they unionized at that time?

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Tuba? Perfect.

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Ann Jeffers's avatar

This was one of the few songs my mother could play on the piano. She played and sang it with gusto. She also admitted to singing at her angry drunk father.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

ICTT, thanks for passing it on. I had some vague awareness of Donald Duck's politicization and you've set it forth.

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John Townsend's avatar

Trump and MAGA also raise their arms, both literally and figuratively.

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Annette's avatar

and we can raise our finger to them.

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John Townsend's avatar

--along with a fist!

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John Townsend's avatar

--and raise their legs on democracy!

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Jim Yoder's avatar

I haven't heard it either but we all know this applies to dump as well, with his raised fist.

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Annette's avatar

and his flesh wound

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Robot Bender's avatar

I loved that Great Dane! He was hilarious!

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Dave Conant - MO's avatar

And we're happy to have you here. I don't understand though why Redstone & Co. are mere quislings and don't rise to the level of McConnells.

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

I thought that might be too inside

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Dave Conant - MO's avatar

You may be right, although I suspect your influence is larger than you think.

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LYNN COOK's avatar

👍👍

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John Townsend's avatar

They only care about money, not political manipulation.

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Lynn Tuohy's avatar

Touché, Andy! I think I speak for your readers here, that you are definitely in the right place.

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Catherine Schmidt's avatar

Well said!!!! You nailed it again. Looking forward to see where Colbert lands. I can’t help but think his show must have been a big money maker, maybe I am wrong. But you, Charlie Chaplain and Twain are right, dictators can’t stand to be made fun of. Our weapon is laughter.

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Annette's avatar

Thank God you rose above the miserable people who wanted to quiet you; I am sure I can say, on behalf of all TBRers, that we're grateful you're here entertaining and informing us!

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Ruth Kramer's avatar

The Borowitz Report is the best email in my inbox. My boyfriend also signed up. These networks are cowards! I’m looking forward to Stephen Colbert’s next gig!

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Jean Jacoby's avatar

I know exactly how you feel. Escaping the corporate straitjacket and its world of bottom feeders and doublespeak is liberating. My favorite corporate response to any constructive criticism of a corporate practice/policy, is "I'm sorry if you feel that way." Of course you had well-deserved fame and success in that suffocating world, and hopefully made out like a bandit financially for awhile, at least.

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Jim Yoder's avatar

with respect to bottom feeders, once they are caught and cooked properly they are really good to eat...

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CARLA M LA ROSA's avatar

Minnesota carp: Not just for breakfast anymore!

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Jim Yoder's avatar

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂❤️❤️❤️

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John Townsend's avatar

Corporate bottom feeders have too much fat in their bottoms to make

for good eating.

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Jim Yoder's avatar

Oh you may be right. But filleting might still work for horse feed

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Dava's avatar

People should be able to express their thoughts freely without being filtered by a corporate affiliation.

We are so lucky to have you here on Substack.

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Jim Yoder's avatar

Remember that you have to start a conversation with "it is all about the money". Once you have established that premise as truthful, then you can have a real conversation. Corporations everywhere are scared to openly admit it is about the money, once they do I truly believe that they would loose their base.

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LYNN COOK's avatar

Dava...autocrats are a little like Barnabus Collins of the old DARK SHADOWS program....their thought processes disappear in the glare of morning bright light.

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John Townsend's avatar

--and fry under the fluorescent lights of the conference room.

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Dava's avatar

Ha! Yes!! But they don’t dress as cool.

I loved Dark Shadows!

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Susan Mongar's avatar

No one makes me laugh harder at Trump than you, Andy. Colbert is a very close second, but of course he has writers, not that his expert delivery doesn’t sell the package. I’m waiting to see what he does next. . . .

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Sharon P's avatar

humor in the morning, humor in the evening, humor at supper time !! (lyrics changed a tad to fit the offing)

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John Townsend's avatar

--"Be my little laugh bug

and make me laugh all the time!"

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Jeanette Kimball's avatar

My best day ever was when I was given the choice to be demoted or quit from my 35 year job- because I spoke up for what was right. Started my own pet sitting business and so much happier.

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Michael Spiegler's avatar

“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.” And you, Andy, certainly supply that. Samuel would be proud of you and so are your followers. Thank you.

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Jocelyn B's avatar

You're welcome, and thank you!! This is perhaps my favorite of your posts so far, because I love Stephen, and like you, I'm quite sure this was a highly political news. On the up side, so many people are making noise about it, that it quite warms my heart. Like all the noise at the rally yesterday!

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Joseph T. Babcock's avatar

Glad to hear it Andy keep on having fun.

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M Seits's avatar

That's the silver lining that's usually there if we look for it!! I know it will be the same for Colbert!

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Judith's avatar

Colbert and his writing team are genius. I can’t wait to see what they do next. Trump is the most thin-skinned humorless baby on the planet.

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Dutchie's avatar

Literally thin-skinned from the look of his hand.

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Constance Story's avatar

I think the skin on his hand isn't the only thing that's thin. That bulge on the back of his calf is obviously a reservoir for a Texas catheter to treat his incontenence. They have to be applied like a condom. I'm not sure how it stays on. According to Stormy Daniels there's not much there there. His health, thank god, looks like it's on the downhill slope. Has anyone seen JD with a tape measure heading for the White House windows?

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Michael Stayton's avatar

You mean to measure the rooms for his favorite couch?

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John Townsend's avatar

--with extra padding and electric vibrating coils?

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meryl selig's avatar

Thanks Constance ! Love the image. JD is a pawn… power monger, yes,… but a pawn of tech oligarchs. I feel sure that they have scoped out exit path for Donny Demento as well as ascent for JD, who could never win in a real election (if we ever see them again)

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Paul Ehrenzeller's avatar

meryl selig I agree with you, but I think a big reason tRump has stacked his cabinet with Howard Lutnick, RFK Jr, Kristi Noem, Linda McMahon, etc is that he has some leverage over them to prevent them from ever agreeing with Justa Dick Vance to invoke the 25th Amendment.

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Annette's avatar

<golf clap>

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Robot Bender's avatar

Duct tape holds it on.

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Kathy's avatar

Nah, JD is into couches- literally

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Octavia Redwood's avatar

but they're not age spots, it's from shaking so many hands!

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meryl selig's avatar

The brown paste he applied to his hand is as artful as the orange foundation he smears in his fat mug

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Brenda Reiss's avatar

It the bruising that older people get from taking blood thinners

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Donna's avatar

Could be. The condition he is experiencing often produces blood clots, which can travel to the lungs or the brain. Given this, he may be experiencing a series of mini-strokes.

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Sandra Hardie's avatar

I'm an older person who doesn't take blood thinners. I am, however, irremediably clumsy. Visible end result is similar.

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CBA's avatar

That was my first thought. Venous insufficiency isn't the nothingburger Cheatloaf's spin doctors claim it is. My mom had it. The bruises on her hands from blood thinners looked just like that. It caused a DVT and later a major stroke -- then a nasty bout of cellulitis that eventually killed her.

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John Townsend's avatar

--and passing on only god-knows-what in bacteria!

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CARLA M LA ROSA's avatar

Maybe he should let go of the hand he's shaking and stop pulling on it like he's in some kind of arm/hand wrestling game.

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Octavia Redwood's avatar

he must win every contest, even if it isn't a contest; but you are right, he is oddly vigorous in hand shaking, but little else

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Jay Jay Eh's avatar

… while taking regular aspirin as cardio prevention tactic.

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Jim Yoder's avatar

I'm not a doctor but I am about his age and I had that happen to me. I lost 100 pounds and started living better and I look like a 50 year old who is healthy. He will not do that because he has to support his MickyD's stock.

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Annette's avatar

and honestly, Jim, (evil Annette warning) I don't want him to get healthier. For all the miserable, evil, inhumane things he's done, just in the past six months, he deserves karma, the likes of which no one has ever seen before.

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Nancy Morgan LeBar's avatar

It's OK Annette, I am working on a curse against him. Or maybe making one of those vodoo dolls to stick pins in. Yes, I do believe in karma, but if we can hurry it along, let us do so.

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John Townsend's avatar

Wouldn't throwing holy water on him just make him dissolve?

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Acid is so much quicker.

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Nancy Morgan LeBar's avatar

Oh, there's a thought! Thanks!

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Betsy Groth's avatar

Yessss

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Jim Yoder's avatar

oh I concur. But I know from experience that people as S T U P I D dumb as he is, as my sainted mother would say, he won't listen and will in fact meet his maker...

Satan?

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Annette's avatar

when I read the "Satan?" line, I thought of Dana Carvey's Church Lady - lol

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Jim Yoder's avatar

That was who I was channeling. 😈

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John Townsend's avatar

That's throwing fat into the fire!

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Harvey Perry's avatar

But I don’t want him to die. I want him bedridden for years with a catheter and oxygen, and perhaps a tracheotomy; but with clear awareness of what is happening to him.

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Sharon P's avatar

oops now thats funny

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Sharon P's avatar

clear awareness ????? now THAT'S !!!!!

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John Townsend's avatar

Yes, Annette, bigly, bigly karma that will land him in a stinking

pile of covfefe!

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Nancy Morgan LeBar's avatar

I continue to count on those double bacon cheeseburgers to do the job.

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Annette's avatar

I can't help but think Colbert will come back stronger and funnier, and really give ConOLD what he deserves - abject humiliation.

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Barbara Greer's avatar

He can do that in his last season on CBS. What are they going to do, fire him?

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LYNN COOK's avatar

What a thought, Barbara...priceless retribution. on the horizon !🤗

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John Townsend's avatar

Take his show off earlier with another inane corporate excuse!

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Dawn Aberg's avatar

Since Comedy Central is also Paramount, and the Daily Show is no doubt next on the chopping block, I'm SERIOUSLY hoping Jon Stewart and his team will be doing some sort of ... joint venture? collaboration? ... with Colbert. Can you imagine anything more brilliant?

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

I was thinking that yesterday while taking in the Stephen report and watching Jon's latest (?) Youtube (?) They would be a team from paradise. I'd want them to continue solo, also.

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Ann E.'s avatar

Andy, that last sentence was perfect! I know that you will keep us all laughing, no matter what.

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Beth Resler Walters's avatar

Well, we no longer turn on to-- or record -- that hour on that network.

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Leigh Partington's avatar

Spot on!

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Robert's avatar

Time to dust off this oldie but goodie: Q: what’s the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo? A: Trump never paid to watch a garbanzo.

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BTAM Master's avatar

Or had a garbanzo on his face.

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Annette's avatar

<snort laugh, caffeine spew AND standing ovation>. I had not heard that one and now I can't eat my salad for lunch but it is worth it!

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John Townsend's avatar

Trump probably doesn't eat salad!

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Concerned Citizen's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Mary Sue Palazzari's avatar

BEST. COMMENT. EVER.

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Maureen's avatar

👍😂 good one!

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Megan Ross's avatar

LOL 🤣🤣🤣 Thanks for this!

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

LOL

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Jim Yoder's avatar

🙈🙉🙊

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Andrea Squires's avatar

LOL, and also, ew!

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Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

You are so right. He’s a clown. I’m pissed off about Colbert but we haven’t heard the last of all this.

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Andrea's avatar

My late night go-to is Colbert. I hope he spends the next 10 months with zero filters on, and rips the 🍊🤡 to pieces in every monologue.

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Me too. My birthday today. Lousy present.

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Marmo's avatar

Happy Birthday, Suzanee Marie McAdam. And don't fret too much - this might end up to be good news.

It's certainly bad in the short term that Dump gets what he wants (which every time feeds his mental illness), but severing from CBS could be the best news for Colbert and for us. I bet he's already received options - he's got the talent and intellgence to go anywhere that's not afraid of Dump.

So, maybe celebrate that Colbert has 10 months with nothing to lose, and we might have a great treat available to us after that.

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Thank you Marmo. Looking forward to it. God bless TBR

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Kathy's avatar

Trump is clueless re what’s next from Colbert… Colbert is the gift that will keep on ripping

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Marmo's avatar

Kathy - You'd be spot on if you'd stopped at: "Trump is clueless" - but you are so correct also about the rest.

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Harvey Perry's avatar

Maybe he will get a prime time slot.

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Andrea's avatar

Well that’s not a great gift, you are right. But, we know that Colbert will find better ways, with fewer filters, in his next act, just as Andy did. Happy Birthday in spite of the news. 🎂

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Annette's avatar

sorry . . . but happier birthday thoughts as the day goes on, to you!

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Thanks so much! At 85, it's nice to just have them!

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LYNN COOK's avatar

Happy Birthday, Suzzane...we of a " certain vintage " salute you...

91...so must slather on a little WD 40 to enable.the arm to function....there !👌👌👏

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Andrea Squires's avatar

Have a happy birthday, and imagine the awesome show Stephen and Jon will put together now.

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Ann Jeffers's avatar

I think your hope is likely to be fulfilled.

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Gordy K's avatar

The Trump Presidential Library? You mean a shower stall at Mar-A-Lago?

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LHS's avatar

It consists entirely of "Richie Rich" comics that Trump read when he was a kid. Only he never saw the humor in them.

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Octavia Redwood's avatar

his presidential library is a pad of paper with blank Executive Orders and a sharpie.

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meryl selig's avatar

This is obscure but relevant: tyrant dictator of Turkmenistan has a museum devoted to hagiography about him. Photos of him in costumes performing surgery, flying fighter jets, riding huge horses — (horses a big deal there) — etc etc. like Putin bare chested on horseback.

I hope the guy suing Trump for using Superman imagery WINS!!!!

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Octavia Redwood's avatar

Kristi Noem made a series of commercials as Governor, wearing appropriate garb, for South Dakota tradespeople and professionals (including a dentist outfit, but she went to Texas to get her veneers). Politicians(esp the wanna-be dictators) so happily drive themselves off the cliff! Then again, Trump IS proficient in every field of endeavor and will never age or die.

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meryl selig's avatar

Library filled with porn videos

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Annette's avatar

but no drawings, he never draws

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L B Rose's avatar

All gold-plated

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Anne N's avatar

It's an iPhone.

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Annette's avatar

he just liked the kid's name and wanted to look like him

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Judith Richards's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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John Townsend's avatar

--with one hundred moist copies of "Mein Kampf".

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CBA's avatar

Ew. "Moist" and "Mein Kampf" should never appear in the same sentence.

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John Townsend's avatar

--but I was moist happy to write so!

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Nancy Morgan LeBar's avatar

Oh, he might have some old Hustler magazines, or other naughty things. Certainly no books.

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John Townsend's avatar

Maybe some old trashy magazines in which Melania appeared?

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Nancy Morgan LeBar's avatar

Yup, I bet he has a collection of them.

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Annette's avatar

<golf clap>

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Tarini's avatar

Thank you, Andy. I really needed this this morning.

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Lynn Spector's avatar

Thank you for this. It's hard not to feel despair over this and the defunding of PBS -- but both will endure!

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Annette's avatar

I agree, Lynn; and it's our responsibility to make sure they endure!

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Pam Birkenfeld's avatar

After Trump got elected I couldn’t even bear to watch Colbert which I had watched religiously before that. I just didn’t find anything about Trump funny anymore. And it got worse. So now I can look forward to seeing Colbert in a new and inventive format I’m sure. I think I’ll go back to watching him just to piss off Trump

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Marmo's avatar

I'm the same, Pam Birkenfeld. I used to always watch Colbert. After the last election, I found it so difficult to laugh that I stopped (and yet TBR always finds a way). But, starting tonight, I'm going to start to watch Colbert again. If that was Colbert with a filter, I can't wait to hear him when he has nothing to lose.

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Pam Birkenfeld's avatar

TBR always makes me laugh, and I have been reading right along, for some reason that was more enjoyable.

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Marmo's avatar

That's how I feel, Pam Birkenfield. I'm finding it increasinglyh difficult to laugh. Dump might be a fool, but his actions are in no way amusing. So, even listening to Colbert call out Dump's lies and mock Dump's many frailties was making me sad instead of entertained.

But, TBR makes me laugh even though it's inspired by horrors in the News. Andy's posts and then the posts of the intelligent and creative TBR people make me laugh. So, all is not lost. As long as I can still find laughter, there is hope! TBR gives me hope.

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LYNN COOK's avatar

👏👏💛

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CARLA M LA ROSA's avatar

I watch Colbert every night, but I have to admit that much of the time, I'm not laughing or even smiling. But then he hits a good zinger on Trump, and I laugh out loud!

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Gina's avatar

I quit Colbert and EVERYBODY on the night of t's second presidential win. Right, not funny McGee. But yes - looking fwd to Colbert now (until he's shipped off to Alcatraz - they're fixing up the original now - along with Borowitz (WE'LL NEVER FORGET YOU)

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Stephanie Leaf's avatar

The best and most important thing you've ever written. ❤️

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

Thank you. It’s from the heart! ❤️

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LYNN COOK's avatar

Precisely ! 💛

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Glenda Funk's avatar

I’m more determined than ever to laugh at, ridicule, make fun of, humiliate Trump and CBS.

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L B Rose's avatar

CBS is dead to me.

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David Barry's avatar

Wonderful piece! Trump’s lack of anything resembling a sense of humor, especially one built around self-awareness and self-deprecation, is one of his many character defects. Right up there with not having a dog.

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Matthew Ward's avatar

No dog would have HIM.

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Leelee's avatar

with eternal gratitude to Colbert - keep fighting

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RONNA CASPER's avatar

Thank you for you analysis of STEPHEN COLBERT’s Firing!!!

I am looking forward to what Stephen does next.

Many of us who recognize the truth about the ridiculousness of Trump and his inability to take any ridicule. All he has are people who either read at the fifth grade level or are terrified of loosing their next big financial deal.

What happened to our country????

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Linda's avatar

Now, Ronna, why would you want to bad mouth 5th graders? I have a 2 month old grand-nephew with more brains, balls, and intelligence than any member of Trump's butt suckers - oops, I typed in staff, but we all know about spell check and grammer check....

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J Cheng's avatar

Time to ban CBS! I love Colbert! Wherever he goes I will watch him. Whiney baby trump needs to grow up and well, evolve would be good too but that's not happening.

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meryl selig's avatar

Another corporate act of timidity. Losers!!

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susie margaret ross's avatar

i'm pretty sure trump can't evolve, b/c i'm also pretty sure that he doesn't believe in evolution.

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Betsy Groth's avatar

Boycott it.

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Linda's avatar

That's asking way too much of Trump to grow up.

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Donna's avatar

And send a letter to them telling them why your will never watch them again.

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Patricia Reynolds's avatar

Oh, Andy, you're my daily dose of sanity. Thank you!

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