Vance’s chief of staff noted bitterly: “That Leo guy? He never once thanked JD for converting, sort of, to Catholicism, or to Donald Trump for making him the pope.” Vance was no available for comment except to say, “Y’all need Jesus.”
Actually, they were introduced by Klaus the Baron von Espy at the Pantalons Rouges in the canton of Uri, where she ‘specificated’ a very rich man with a wandering peepee.
Melanomia is (maybe was) Roman Catholic but she strayed when she married Trump. Couldn't get married in RC Church to a (gasp) divorced man. He had two under his belt at the time, so they dropped a notch and found a fancy Episcopalian cathedral. If it was good enough for Henry VIII, good enough for Mrs. Trump, third edition.
Jay Deviance doesn't necessarily have a good track record with visits and/or negotiations. He visited Pope Francis and boom, the pope met his maker. He visited Victor Orban and boom, he loses the election. He visited Iran and tensions have escalated. I think Mr. Deviance needs to stay home, on his couch, drink Mountain Dew and have some BBQ. He has no cards, no chess pieces, no game.
yes, kiss the ring, bend the knee and lay at his feet (because he could trip him, you know, with his cankles and such, and boom . . . a fatal face plant)
I love your suggestions for what JD should be doing. But what about poor Usha? (Although she is well educated and so probably is no dummy, which makes me wonder about her judgment in hooking up with such a loser.)
Do not insult kindergarteners. They have way more intelligence (what entity doesn't?), way more maturity (what entity doesn't?) way more class (what entity doesn't?) than Agolf Shitler and all his flunkies, toadies, hangers-on and sycophants put together. That lot doesn't even have what it takes for nursery school.
We have a daycare filled with tantrumy Terrible Twos ! 😂Our kindergarteners are far more intelligent, caring, articulate and better behaved! And they have a healthy respect for rules ! 😉
you are correct, Anders . . . a kindergarten in the White House and an insane clown posse in the cabinet . . . makes for many, many nightmares and poor decisions. What makes its especially aggravating is some Americans actually voted for this. I don't care if we have voter ID in the future; we might want want IQ or intelligence tests though.
What else makes it especially aggravating is some Americans STILL love what those shitiots are doing -- they perversely enjoy the stomping that most Americans AND the world are getting and cheer this shitfest on.
When the Republicans spent $50 million going after Bill Clinton for lying about having sex with Monica Lewinsky, which depended upon the question as to whether fellatio is sex, he famously said the following. We should hold him to that standard along with his trainer, Donald Trump:
"You don't even have to be convicted of a crime to lose your job in this constitutional republic if this body determines that your conduct as a public official is clearly out of bounds in your role. Impeachment is not about punishment. Impeachment is about cleansing the office. Impeachment is about restoring honor and integrity to the office."
It's all in the movies: "The Mouse that Roared" = Trump starts war with Iran to lose war and rebuild Iran.....now, with the US blockading the Strait, it's "Blazing Saddles" - Trump puts himself in a headlock, snarls "Nobody move or the Orange One gets it" - then marches himself off to jail. We already had "Wag the Dog" ---- what could be next?
I vote for "De Duva" the hilarious mash-up spoof of Bergman's films Wild Strawberries and The Seventh Seal -- Death (tRUMP) plays badminton (not chess) to win the right to reap souls and misses the shot so loses the match when a dove flies by and poops a big splat on his black robe, to which Death grumbles in pidgen English with Yiddish accent, "Oi, I just got this schmatte dry cleanen." HOORAY!!! Ding dong Death is dead!!!
Gym Jordan is responsible for Trump… he persecuted Hillary, and Fox jumped in to help kill Hill politically. She could’ve been potus instead of Trump, and I guarantee we wouldn’t be in so many chaotic messes. Not funny
To paraphrase the spirit of an SNL skit,”The. Iranians have no cards? Iran has a strait.”
Also a royal flush down the golden toilet
And an arce in the hole.
holy cow!! :-) !!
***snortle!!!*** (snort + chuckle)
Love that word! Exactly my response to Andy's latest masterpiece. "You have no cards." !!!
--with the Donald's head inserted within!
Hilarious comment! :-) !!
Trump has announced he is replacing Vance with Tommy Tuberville. JD’s brlliance was making jared sad
As always this is very funny.
I am so sick and tired of this cast of characters, though. My inclination is to just boo them off the stage. The farce has gone on long enough.
We need to get some serious people back in charge. This crew is steering our globe out of earth's orbit. The stakes have gotten too high.
1 billion % agreed!!!
Why, Floof, that’s precisely what my pharmaceutical bill has come down!
This crew should be shot out of earth's orbit on a SpaceX rocket!
Jane Goodall said something just like that.
They've not only destroyed so much, literally and in goodwill, they are making fascism great again. Ram some spines into our justice system!
We do not have a straight flush for Donald--yet!
And all Trump's holding is black aces and eights.
😭🤣
I don't usually watch SNL stuff but the recent episode, which Jay Kuo linked to in his "Just for Skeets" is really hilarious. It's toward the top of the very long post. https://statuskuo.substack.com/p/just-for-skeets-and-giggles-41126
LOL!
Great line right on target
Vance’s chief of staff noted bitterly: “That Leo guy? He never once thanked JD for converting, sort of, to Catholicism, or to Donald Trump for making him the pope.” Vance was no available for comment except to say, “Y’all need Jesus.”
Jesus wept...
I have worn this one out too. Maybe we should change to Jesus laughed, but it isn’t funny.
--and keeps doing so.....
Don't mess with the Vatican. A track
record of 2000 years
--and they do corruption better than most!
Poor JD ! He really has the most thankless job in the world! 😂Neither Pope nor the Iranians show the least bit of gratitude! 😉
Melania has by far the worst job, what a hideous family she inherited by answering an ad in the personals
JD gets a bigger mascaria stipend too
Melanoma got what she asked for - a rich old man.
Actually, they were introduced by Klaus the Baron von Espy at the Pantalons Rouges in the canton of Uri, where she ‘specificated’ a very rich man with a wandering peepee.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3SEhWPHgj7g
Perfect!
So funny! Where'd you find that!?
Oi SNAP!
And Trump will disown him soon.
Little known fact: JD joined the Catholic Church because he noticed there was too little righteous snake-handling therein
--and the snakes died when Vance handled them!
JD ain't no JC!
including Usha... At least Melanoma's a good Catholic, right?
Maybe not a good anything, except mother!
She's good at cosplaying Hamburglar.
She had to remove the stripes, though, when hubby accused her of anticipating her future post-Nuremburg-trial outfit.
hard to believe she's that either
Melanomia is (maybe was) Roman Catholic but she strayed when she married Trump. Couldn't get married in RC Church to a (gasp) divorced man. He had two under his belt at the time, so they dropped a notch and found a fancy Episcopalian cathedral. If it was good enough for Henry VIII, good enough for Mrs. Trump, third edition.
JD is having a rough week
I search my heart and soul for empathy for Vance. Oops! Nothing there, bad luck!
Poor guy, what rotten luck. He deserves a fun ride on the WAAAHmbulance.
Ya think? The Cabinet has just invoked the 25th Amendment … against Vance!
It couldn't be helped. Word is that Trump and Rubio were busy watching boxing matches.
Good.
Bringing cards to a chess tournament is like bringing knives to a gunfight.
Bringing Vance to negotiations is like bringing a pooper scooper to do heart surgery.
And Vance is the one creating the *$#!
Excellent snappish snarking! Well done, Bee!
Thank you, Floofie!
Literally my pleasure!
--a Niagara Falls of it!
Outfuckingstanding. Love the comparison.
I really like your name Al 😳
A spinner to a crap-shoot
Amen! I’ve been saying t sent knives to a gun fight with the three ‘delegates’ he sent to ‘negotiate’…..
Al, you deserve an award for having the best pseudonym on the planet!
Jay Deviance doesn't necessarily have a good track record with visits and/or negotiations. He visited Pope Francis and boom, the pope met his maker. He visited Victor Orban and boom, he loses the election. He visited Iran and tensions have escalated. I think Mr. Deviance needs to stay home, on his couch, drink Mountain Dew and have some BBQ. He has no cards, no chess pieces, no game.
He needs to visit Trump in person as soon as possible.
yes, kiss the ring, bend the knee and lay at his feet (because he could trip him, you know, with his cankles and such, and boom . . . a fatal face plant)
Yes, please!
I agree with you, but having done a high speed face plant several years ago, I'm not sure I'd wish one on anyone, even trump…
Besides, Trump's brain is so full of fat, it just might bounce right back up!
Love the image.
😹thanks for making my morning. Wish I were as witty!😊
...no dignity, no morality, no finesse, no backbone, no sensitivity, etc. No excuse.
('Jay Deviance' - so good!)
But when alone, couches moan his name.
Well, those cushion springs have already sprung!
I think those are groans of "Holy crapola, get this mo-fo offa me!"
Love Jay Deviance as a nickname for him. Thank you for sharing that nugget.
I have to agree. I would find a hidey-hole if I ever saw Shady JD heading my way.
Shady JD -- excellent rhymey moniker and oh so true!
Right up there with Jay Deviance.
oh yes!! Don't look into his eyes!!
Bush saw Putin's soul when looking into his eyes. No chance of having the same experience when looking into Vance's lying eyes.
Agree - even tho Bush was an idiot
Cherchez la femme, Annette: it’s USHA!
I love your suggestions for what JD should be doing. But what about poor Usha? (Although she is well educated and so probably is no dummy, which makes me wonder about her judgment in hooking up with such a loser.)
--just the remains of a BBQ paper plate!
The couch is sick of that shit and recommends JD try it on with an Iron Maiden.
Vance, last week's 0-2 loser.
Graham, he'll follow Trump's flatulence anywhere.
Lindsey AssKissinger
LOL love the statement on Miss Lindsey
He needs to drink a lot to numb the pain of being Trump's bitch.
I can't imagine how much you'd have to drink to numb that pain . . . it must be gallons
I'm not an expert in that form of cringing and self-loathing. But who knows? This fascist shitshow is just getting revved up.
let's hope they get revved soon, so they can fizzle and die sooner
--or pray they just stall out!
Yes, please.
A self-hating fascist?
Can such a seeming oxymoron be real? Look to Hitler -- I think the answer lies there.
Not hard to do, from what I hear about malodorous doo-doo duh-duh donnie.
If Trump has all the cards, why is he so easily played? Maybe he's not playing with a full deck.
He's playing Go Fish, but has no matching cards. The Iranians are playing high stakes poker, and they have a strait!
***snik snik snik*** Good one!!!
Because tRump's cards are the Pokémon cards he stole from Eric.
Trump holds only jokers like Lindsey Graham.
He lost his deck years ago!
Can we use "moron" if it is appropriate to the source to whom it is applied?
Yes, you may.
Sums it up accurately. The hillbilly is cranky. Perhaps because the couches over there are not ideal.
As a Norwegian I have a hard time not to think you have a kindergarten in the White House
Oh please don’t insult our Kindergarteners - they have way more intelligence than anyone in the White House.
and they color in multiple colors, not just black Sharpies
Not even: kindergarteners are required to play kindly with each other.
and not throw food against the wall or call people names
Do not insult kindergarteners. They have way more intelligence (what entity doesn't?), way more maturity (what entity doesn't?) way more class (what entity doesn't?) than Agolf Shitler and all his flunkies, toadies, hangers-on and sycophants put together. That lot doesn't even have what it takes for nursery school.
Exactly snappishly snarkily right, GRRRLfriend!!! WELL SAID.
H/t Art Linklater: Kids say the darnedest things
We have a daycare filled with tantrumy Terrible Twos ! 😂Our kindergarteners are far more intelligent, caring, articulate and better behaved! And they have a healthy respect for rules ! 😉
you are correct, Anders . . . a kindergarten in the White House and an insane clown posse in the cabinet . . . makes for many, many nightmares and poor decisions. What makes its especially aggravating is some Americans actually voted for this. I don't care if we have voter ID in the future; we might want want IQ or intelligence tests though.
That would disenfranchise up to 3/4 of the population!
What else makes it especially aggravating is some Americans STILL love what those shitiots are doing -- they perversely enjoy the stomping that most Americans AND the world are getting and cheer this shitfest on.
Potus and his regime are like inspector clouseau when he dressed as the godfather: he got into an elevator with the bad guys
and farted
Check out this video, "youtube inspector clouseau fart in elevator scene"https://share.google/Te1Zj488gLtOh0P06
I'm sorry, I don't care how old you are, farts are funny.
But I'm sure tRump's farts are like the vile, sulphury stench that escapes from the bowels of hell.
Oh, absolutely . . . like nobody has ever seen (smelt) before
Trump sent his minkey to Hungary
Pretty accurate really
The WH would function better if it were run by kindergartners instead of this criminally insane cluster.
Some of our kindergarteners are studying the fundamental theorem of calculus.
someone has to be able to explain it to the tRump administration
🤣🤣
As an American, I'm worn out trying to apologize to the world. I just can't defend us anymore. 😖😱
I hear ya -- it's exhausting and demoralizing. To quote Neil Young (with a tad of judicious editing from yours truly):
"Don't let it bring you down - It's only castles burning - You'll find life's always turning - And you will come around"
Pitch perfect again! So good because it's ridiculously funny but scarily potentially true. I'm laughing but squirming.
I know, Fernando, right? Spot on -- both Andy and you.
When the Republicans spent $50 million going after Bill Clinton for lying about having sex with Monica Lewinsky, which depended upon the question as to whether fellatio is sex, he famously said the following. We should hold him to that standard along with his trainer, Donald Trump:
"You don't even have to be convicted of a crime to lose your job in this constitutional republic if this body determines that your conduct as a public official is clearly out of bounds in your role. Impeachment is not about punishment. Impeachment is about cleansing the office. Impeachment is about restoring honor and integrity to the office."
Listen to your own words, Donald.
Absolutely!
YES YES YES!!! 1000 times YES!!!
It's all in the movies: "The Mouse that Roared" = Trump starts war with Iran to lose war and rebuild Iran.....now, with the US blockading the Strait, it's "Blazing Saddles" - Trump puts himself in a headlock, snarls "Nobody move or the Orange One gets it" - then marches himself off to jail. We already had "Wag the Dog" ---- what could be next?
Great analogies
Just saw some expert on tv use your Blazing Saddles reference lol
I vote for "De Duva" the hilarious mash-up spoof of Bergman's films Wild Strawberries and The Seventh Seal -- Death (tRUMP) plays badminton (not chess) to win the right to reap souls and misses the shot so loses the match when a dove flies by and poops a big splat on his black robe, to which Death grumbles in pidgen English with Yiddish accent, "Oi, I just got this schmatte dry cleanen." HOORAY!!! Ding dong Death is dead!!!
Not true! Trump says US will blockade strait of Hormuz after Iran peace talks fail; Iran thanks Trump for continuing Iran's mission.
How did Ohio elect him in the first place? Oh wait, they keep reelecting Gym Jordan.
Gym Jordan is responsible for Trump… he persecuted Hillary, and Fox jumped in to help kill Hill politically. She could’ve been potus instead of Trump, and I guarantee we wouldn’t be in so many chaotic messes. Not funny
We’ve had two chances to elect women and we ended up with him. What is wrong with this country? Rhetorical question.
He had big bucks leading the way.
It’s always money isn’t it. Citizens united has to be one of the first things to go if we ever get a government that cares about the people again.
As usual, Andy, you have succinctly summarized the Felon's wasteful non-accomplishments in this little excursion.
Hilarious.
JD as effective in Iran as in Hungary.