Remember how FB started? He couldn’t get laid. (Bet you those twins had no problem whatsoever.) Even then he was humorless. Keep on keeping on, dear Andy!
Not at all, L.R.! It’s been an awful week, more awfuller [sic] than most. I feel certain that Hahvahd will beat the bastard down - just wish he’d pick on Penn, his alma mater. Where one of his professors said that the First Felon was the dumbest (stupidest?) student he’s ever taught.
The First Felon has not gained an I.Q. point since his Penn days. See his elegant take-down in the Oval Office yesterday. Not sure he even realized he was taken down, since the session ended in elegant mirth, orchestrated by that elegant head of state of what the First Felon has referred to as a S-H country. Is anybody keeping track of the facts-(sorry)-vs-insults tally?
"Sorry I don't have a jet to give you". And said it with a smile.
Then Donnie-Three-Dees " I wish you did. I would have taken it" and all the sycophants laughed. None of us watching were laughing with you, but at you. Not hard laughing at a babbling, blithering buffoon.
He sure is infantile, dishonest, corrupt, beyond selfish and narcissistic, sadistic, emotionally dysfunctional, and appears infinitely dumber than dumb, but he PRESENTLY has the country (and somewhat the world) in a grip with his pudgy greasy hands, in spite of those of us who see what he’s doing and hate what he’s doing.
Patti, I love your made up word. My husband and I do that every so often, and really enjoy it. Some of them become part of our regular vocabulary. I think "more awfuller' is a tiny bit redundant, 😇 but that's what's needed right now.
Patti, please never apologize for making up words: I do it all the time and it is a favorite pastime. And, once again, by bringing up the Penn prof, you prove that the sun is still in the sky.
Ooh, I see "P" and "S" alliteration here. Wanna play a game?
You have me laughing again. Your move from "beverage" to "si prosegue," which is unfamiliar to me, brought Prosecco to mind. Now I see the "pro" and the "segue" parts.
I LOVE "First Felon"! I've been referring to him as Felon-in-Chief, but First Felon is easier to type, and so crisp. I was at Penn one of the years the FF was, and as far as I can remember, no one paid him any attention. That's really what he deserved then and now, and he's doing all he can to get all the attention he can, regardless of his impact on anyone. He learned to be a bully and brutal towards others from his father and he hasn't stopped since.
Lived in Northampton and Boston for 10+ years. F the Knicks! You? (We’re sort of hijacking Andy’s thread - sort of - but I feel certain he’ll forgive us.)
My office was around the corner from the first FB office in Palo Alto. We all dreaded when the gang of children would spill out of the door and take over the local lunch place. It was like middle school, only the kids were taller and could buy beer
Yes to saving New Yorker covers! My two favorites are the one with tRump flat out on his face at the bottom of the TT escalator (where he belongs!) and the recent one of the Founding Fathers leaving their offices carrying their things in cardboard boxes having just been fired from their Federal jobs…brilliant…
Yes, I also saved the one of the Founding Fathers with the boxes! I color-copied to put on my signs for protests. Did the same with the cover showing the Statue of Liberty sitting behind bars, withe scratches on the wall clearing marking off Trump’s 100 Days. Their covers are brilliant, as are their articles.
Yes, yes, yes! I found an old copy of a New Yorker cover that featured a fully uniformed housemaid, alone, holding a bow and hitting bull-eyes on the grounds of a lush estate. The 50’s maybe the 40’s? It gave so much information and put me at the spot.
And poor Stephen C. is now truly saddened and outraged by his boss at CBS going to the dark side and appeasing Trump. I fear that he will eventually be silenced by Redstone & Herr Drumph.😢
This is a critically important, often overlooked part of resistance.
Mel Brooks used to be asked how he could make fun of Nazis so much. Didn't that diminish their crimes? Was guffawing at 'Springtime for Hitler' really appropriate? He would point out that he was a tail gunner during the War, and you betcha he took the threat of death seriously every day. He'd answer -- maybe had more people laughed at these jerks early on, they wouldn't have come to power. Food for thought.
To me, Anne Bancroft was so sexy and stunning in "The Graduate" and she was only 33. She was every young guys dream for their own Mrs. Robinson, so I remember when I found out she was married to Mel Brooks I was surprised. His movie humour is not mine. Hated most them actually. (And as much as I love to laugh and have a great sense of humour, comedy is my least favorite genre).
But, when I would see him on talk shows and he was so funny, smart, witty, rapid fire quick...how could a woman not fall in love with that? (I see that you're a guy, but as a woman, do you know how many guys who are gorgeous and look like Paul Newman are humourless duds?). I will take smart and witty and funny any day. I'd rather spend the rest of my days laughing with Mel Brooks. Because brilliant comedy can be absolutely withering. (Springtime for Hitler) Not Laurel &Hardy slapstick humour that I detest. And I have to say my two exes, even though there were tears...were both hysterical. That's what I loved about them.
If Donald Trump couldn't take a joke by Obama at that White House dinner that's all you need to know.And although there is only one Andy Borowitz, I wish instead of the plethora of hand wringing doomsday articles about this regime, there would be more making fun of him.
And what other substack could have hundreds of hysterical posts making fun of "our" Quislings like Howard Butlick or Stephen Miller the vampire being repelled by crosses, garlic, capes, stakes in his heart and his coffin chained so he can't get out 😂 .I think if the rest of the world got that kind of humour for GIJoe Pete Hegseth 🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸or Bolshevik Barbie or the Puppy Killer, they wouldn't hold 1/4 of their power because people would see him as the buffoons they are. And don't even get me started on Elon lol.
He and Anne Bancroft were married for something like 50 years. People didn't know what an offbeat, zany sense of humor she had. The two of them apparently went together like peaches and cream. (Mel Brooks might have said 'Arsenic and Old Lace.)
They had a wonderful marriage and he was devastated to lose her. I know she directed that comedy movie "Fat" with Dom DeLuise but I usually think of her more dramatic roles myself, except for one. "The Prisoner of Second Avenue" by Neil Simon with her and Jack Lemmon. It takes place in my area in NYC. I never not think of the film when I pass "their" building. They filmed actual footage of my neighborhood that I don't recognize anymore because it's been so built up.
And yes, that sounds like something Mel would say. 😊
sigh. a little off-thread, but not WAY far off -- "brains and a sense of humor" have always been my top qualifications for guys. looks, meh. money, meh. but brains and a sense of humor -- yes!
Spot on! This is their kryptonite, though they are far from supermen. The more, the better. Secure people can take a joke, these guys can't, which not only tells you something about their character but reveals their Achilles heel.
But I'm afraid humorists (yes, Andy, you're #1!) are too often preaching to the choir. We have to devise more ways open Republicans' eyes via jokes and ridicule that exposes who these folks are and what they are doing to our country.
I love this " this is their kryptonite" and "reveals their Achilles heel"👍 I learned as a kid to have a self-deprecating sense of humour. Better to laugh at yourself before someone else does.
I hate to use this term, but we really have become a society of snowflakes where everyone is so offended by everything. I'm 69. I grew up with Don Rickles and Joan Rivers and all the old comedians and Dean Martin's comedy roasts. Sammy Davis Jr. I mean, even Frank Sinatra (whose bad side I wouldn't want to be on) could take a joke about himself. Today they would be vilified. George Carlin. Dick Gregory. Richard Pryor. Lenny Bruce! Brilliant and controversial political comedians of their time. You know what they would arrest them for? Like Lenny Bruce? Aside from drugs... Profanity. Well, they should get a load of me on substack. They'd be hauling my ass off to jail. No one could take that kind of comedy today. No one seems to be able to make fun of themselves. Or admit their flaws. That's not good. So afraid of wounding someone with words but not with an AK-47 with a silencer! 😣
I am a mainstream Protestant minister and a very respectable, sober, polite older woman. I recently posted a criticism of Trump which contained nothing but an appeal to people's hearts to oppose some of his administration's actions, which were contrary to Jesus' teachings. Result? Banned from Facebook, with a response saying that I was being kicked off due to postings inconsistent with their standards. I was given a chance to appeal that involved doing a video selfie at all angles. No thank you.
To be "inconsistent" with "their standards" there would actually need to BE standards to be inconsistent with! (My apologies to my favorite English grammar teacher for this post which no doubt has her spinning in her grave)
Thank you, Rev. Patricia. I almost never use Facebook, but decided that before I permanently delete my account, I'd try sharing your post. It's an experiment to see if I get banned. If the post lasts a few minutes, maybe others who are ready to be banned do the same thing.
Very interesting, RJM. Which post did you share? The one I wrote on this page, or were you able to find my post on Facebook? I didn't think I appeared there any longer.
i have been saying for some time that ridiculing donny two dolls (there’s an example right there) is the best way to goad him. still believe that. thanks, andy (and mark).
L.R. it was when 47 was talking about that the tariff mean girls could only have two dolls for Christmas instead of 30, and 5 pencils instead of 250. Lawrence coined that term when he has doing a diatribe against 47. He thought it was good as a Mafia name, too.
I guess that I missed his comment about Christmas presents. See something cute, Susan? If you unintentionally omitted "ing" from "mean," you said that mean girls could have only two dolls. Trump would say that the mean ones can has as many as they please. For himself, no more than 5 pencils in a lifetime -- he can't write. Most of all, Mafia-appropriate.
Oops! Thank you for catching my error. I think I meant "meant" Personally I don't think donny 2-dolls would be any nicer or more generous to mean girls than any other girls. I'm now wondering how many pencils he's owned over his lifetime. Probably less than 5 once he got out of school.
exactly. donny two dolls can’t take a joke. in fact, i think the gentle ribbing he got from obama at the wh correspondents dinner might have prompted his run for president.
Oh yes. Laughing at troompf is a delightful way to goad him, but my favorite, because it also benefits my overall wellbeing, is to ignore him completely. If media outlets joined together (excluding the KKK Times, LGBTQFU Gazette, Make America Pasty White Again game show, and Hunger Games ripoff survival tv shows with migrant children, etc) and agreed to remove his, and any of his demon spawn’s names, photos, meme transactions and tacky golden toothbrushes from the news, it would piss him off so much that he might actually spontaneously combust and provide scientific proof that spontaneous combustion is, in fact, possible.
The thoughts (?) of our widdle White House sociopath do not revolve around Putin, nuclear proliferation, global climate change, much less the economy, but around Rosie O'Donnell, Hannibal Lecter, Beyoncé, Oprah, Bruce Springsteen and Robert DeNiro, his sagging man-boobs, the spray-painted orange-formaldehyde face paste he wears, shoe lifts, tiny hands and a dead marmoset on his head.
If this isn't the stuff of musical comedy and an entire Greek Chorus, I don't know what would be.
Well, he does have to check in with Putin every day, but Miller listens in and then the marmoset-wearer can go back to loving Hannibal and hating all the others. Oh, and having dreams about Alcatraz.
So much of the funniest (very dark humor) of his pronouncements are meant to distract us. Please let's not forget Signalgate, Kilmar, deporting children with cancer, ending the Judicial Branch's ability to issue contempt orders, killing the Constitution - separation of powers, habeas corpus, due process, bills of attainder ... Those things are more important than ... pebbles in the sand, for example.
The Guardian published an article this week about how United Healthcare works to discourage nursing homes from sending residents to hospitals in order to keep expenses low.
My husband keeps saying “ time for a Luigi”. There is unfortunately enough gun power in our nation for that to happen and with this horrible bill, the Repubs added that silencers are permitted.
Yeah, Republicans seem a bit clueless. They keep saying things like "the right to gun ownership is the last bulwark against tyranny" but refuse to consider the idea that they might be the tyrants.
Oh, Lynn, indeed he is. People from all over the country have contributed to his legal funds. Many pieces have been written about his handsomeness and the way he's been or had been dressing to attend court dates and so on. He's a movie star. The whole thing is amazing.
Yes, but they know they have 1500+ J6'ers and all the people who wear ICE uniforms (or just black masks and clothes and don't show a government ID) who'll go Luigi on their enemies list whenever they're asked. Well, after they've all bought official brown shirts from the Family store for $1000 a pop, two for $1795.
An unmarked white suv pulled up near my building today and two women in black uniforms started casing the building next to mine. They saw me looking at them and I thought I’d better pull on the dog and hightail it away from there
Interesting. Any indication of who they were - badges, for example? Did you try surreptitiously to take their and the car's photo, in case they are some day listed as Jane Doe in a kidnapping (state crime - no presidential pardon) indictment? I wouldn't have had the presence of mind to do that myself the first time, but the next time, maybe.
I would rather not call attention to myself. And I’m one of those who interacts with their dog on their walks. So I don’t carry my phone with me. (Don’t get me started on people walking their dogs while yakking on their phones.)
Zuck himself is a joke. I agree with Patti. Anti-social, humorless, and 2-dimensional, Zuck could only come up with a project to get friends who have no human connection. Great post, Andy.
We are in a science fiction movie right now. Skynet is waiting in the wings to pounce—just a few more data centers to add to the thousands that exist and humanity becomes the servant. It’s no wonder he has no sense of humor—he helped put us here! We can never let anything destroy humor—it is a gift from the universe! Thank you for your always bringing joy to our lives!
There's one thing I can think of that would even be more effective. Cancel your Facebook account. Never had one and never will, so there's that too. See you on Bluesky @cognocis.bsky.social.
I killed my FB account back in 2019 - I had a terrible experience over a post, and thought how evil people can be (even ones I don't know). Life is too short for that crap! I prefer to live, laugh, love...than you Andy for being part of the solution 🤣
To me, "The Social Network" was about a nerdy asshole who stole his classmates' idea and got rich off it. I could never see why folks admired it. Also never signed up for Facebook (and have somehow managed to get through life anyway).
I canceled my account, probably back in 2018, because a) I was getting nothing positive out of having the account and b) because I realized the zuckerberg was not trustworthy. I never posted anything that would have gotten a bad reaction, but I still didn't (and still don't) trust him.
Anger is the republican motto. Have you ever seen trumpy laugh, his makeup would crack and he would crap in his diaper. leavett and rubio and the rest might seem almost human if scowling wasn't their only emotion. Pretty much the same for the rest of them. Musky did laugh some but he's on drugs. If they showed emotions we might think they are human. trumpy has smiled signing exec orders that hurt people though
He laughed when Bill Mahr came to dinner, he’s still chuckling over Bill’s rave review. Bill was surprised by his charm, is he the first snake wrangler that Bill’s ever met? Does that fix everything?
Remember how FB started? He couldn’t get laid. (Bet you those twins had no problem whatsoever.) Even then he was humorless. Keep on keeping on, dear Andy!
Patti, thanks for that. I need as many laughs as I can gather this morning.
Not at all, L.R.! It’s been an awful week, more awfuller [sic] than most. I feel certain that Hahvahd will beat the bastard down - just wish he’d pick on Penn, his alma mater. Where one of his professors said that the First Felon was the dumbest (stupidest?) student he’s ever taught.
The First Felon has not gained an I.Q. point since his Penn days. See his elegant take-down in the Oval Office yesterday. Not sure he even realized he was taken down, since the session ended in elegant mirth, orchestrated by that elegant head of state of what the First Felon has referred to as a S-H country. Is anybody keeping track of the facts-(sorry)-vs-insults tally?
"Sorry I don't have a jet to give you". And said it with a smile.
Then Donnie-Three-Dees " I wish you did. I would have taken it" and all the sycophants laughed. None of us watching were laughing with you, but at you. Not hard laughing at a babbling, blithering buffoon.
Donny 3-B's!
Hi Celia! Been MIA for a couple of days. Good to see you! That was a play on something Anette wrote. She's so funny
And where is this road? Questioned a real president with a glint in his eye that could be seen all the way from Cyril Ramaphosa's homeland.
South Africa, replies the confabulated picture in chief with the tell tale air of knowing he was busted.
If the Convicted Felon had gained an IQ point, then his IQ would be 1.
--or -1?
Could go either way.
He sure is infantile, dishonest, corrupt, beyond selfish and narcissistic, sadistic, emotionally dysfunctional, and appears infinitely dumber than dumb, but he PRESENTLY has the country (and somewhat the world) in a grip with his pudgy greasy hands, in spite of those of us who see what he’s doing and hate what he’s doing.
Ellen, you mean his LITTLE pudgy, greasy hands.
May we all slip through his pudgy, greasy hands and not crash on the floor!
The list too long to enumerate … off to si prosecco with L.R. Want to join us?
Patti, I love your made up word. My husband and I do that every so often, and really enjoy it. Some of them become part of our regular vocabulary. I think "more awfuller' is a tiny bit redundant, 😇 but that's what's needed right now.
sometimes "more awfuller" hits the nail on the head
Maybe it even hits the nail on the head all the harder.
I think most awfullest is called for these days.
Oh, for the right nail onto the right head!
Octavia, I hope you know I was just being a grammar nut when I said more awfuller was redundant. I do truly love that phrase.
of course-I just don't like to pass up another opportunity to concur that Trump is the most awfulest.
Patti, please never apologize for making up words: I do it all the time and it is a favorite pastime. And, once again, by bringing up the Penn prof, you prove that the sun is still in the sky.
Ooh, I see "P" and "S" alliteration here. Wanna play a game?
My sister and I turned “beverage”’into a verb. So we beverage. “Si prosegue” is my mantra. Loosely, we move forward. There’s an S and a P for you. xxx
You have me laughing again. Your move from "beverage" to "si prosegue," which is unfamiliar to me, brought Prosecco to mind. Now I see the "pro" and the "segue" parts.
L.R.: My new mantra is “Si prosecco.” Somehow, it’s more bubbly. Thank you! See? We’re making up even more words/phrases.
Has the word “awfuller” been approved the Department of Redundancy Department?
Perhaps I’ll do a Samuel Johnson and create my own Dictionary of Andy Borowitzers. I think it has some potential.
Precisely, Susan! Nothing like the Redundancy Department of Redundancy.
It would be smart to whisper that lest trump declare it a govt dept and put one of his dummies at the helm.
Problem is, tho, it's doubtful trump knows what the word "redundancy" means. He's not so great with multisyllabic words.
He is incapable of either pronouncing or spelling the word. Knowing what it means is way beyond him.
I LOVE "First Felon"! I've been referring to him as Felon-in-Chief, but First Felon is easier to type, and so crisp. I was at Penn one of the years the FF was, and as far as I can remember, no one paid him any attention. That's really what he deserved then and now, and he's doing all he can to get all the attention he can, regardless of his impact on anyone. He learned to be a bully and brutal towards others from his father and he hasn't stopped since.
oh, that professor's a bigly overrated loser!
Lived in Northampton and Boston for 10+ years. F the Knicks! You? (We’re sort of hijacking Andy’s thread - sort of - but I feel certain he’ll forgive us.)
LUCY AND ETHEL!
Hey, what's this doing here? You and Celia, great minds. And I'm the chowderhead in the bunch.
Chowdah-head, L.R.?
Dig your pronunciation. Where are you from? Do I hear a whiff of Bette Davis, one hand on hip and the other holding a cigarette?
--Bette Davis in the newly gilt Oval Office, "What a dump!"
11 years in MA - western MA for 4, Somerville/Cambridge/North End for seven. F the Knicks! You?
Who the hell would get anywhere close to that guy if he weren't rich?
My office was around the corner from the first FB office in Palo Alto. We all dreaded when the gang of children would spill out of the door and take over the local lunch place. It was like middle school, only the kids were taller and could buy beer
🤣🤣🤣 Sorry, couldn't help myself!
Who wants to bed a rat?
Our satirical comedians are our heroes!
You, Stephen Colbert and so many others are among our bravest Americans!
Vive la joke!
Let's also add New Yorker covers. I'm saving all their powerful political ones for future generations (if we have any).
Yes to saving New Yorker covers! My two favorites are the one with tRump flat out on his face at the bottom of the TT escalator (where he belongs!) and the recent one of the Founding Fathers leaving their offices carrying their things in cardboard boxes having just been fired from their Federal jobs…brilliant…
I loved those!
Yes, I also saved the one of the Founding Fathers with the boxes! I color-copied to put on my signs for protests. Did the same with the cover showing the Statue of Liberty sitting behind bars, withe scratches on the wall clearing marking off Trump’s 100 Days. Their covers are brilliant, as are their articles.
I have saved a few of those too!
Yes, yes, yes! I found an old copy of a New Yorker cover that featured a fully uniformed housemaid, alone, holding a bow and hitting bull-eyes on the grounds of a lush estate. The 50’s maybe the 40’s? It gave so much information and put me at the spot.
And poor Stephen C. is now truly saddened and outraged by his boss at CBS going to the dark side and appeasing Trump. I fear that he will eventually be silenced by Redstone & Herr Drumph.😢
He’ll leave
You mean Colbert?
I loved the New Yorker cover that emulated the great Charlie Chaplin movie -The Dictator. Humor like that lets us know we are alive and well!!
I just read an article about how to defeat an autocrat. The #1 strategy?? Humor and ridicule! You go, Andy! You are going to save democracy!
This is a critically important, often overlooked part of resistance.
Mel Brooks used to be asked how he could make fun of Nazis so much. Didn't that diminish their crimes? Was guffawing at 'Springtime for Hitler' really appropriate? He would point out that he was a tail gunner during the War, and you betcha he took the threat of death seriously every day. He'd answer -- maybe had more people laughed at these jerks early on, they wouldn't have come to power. Food for thought.
It's Come to This...such a great post. Thank you.
To me, Anne Bancroft was so sexy and stunning in "The Graduate" and she was only 33. She was every young guys dream for their own Mrs. Robinson, so I remember when I found out she was married to Mel Brooks I was surprised. His movie humour is not mine. Hated most them actually. (And as much as I love to laugh and have a great sense of humour, comedy is my least favorite genre).
But, when I would see him on talk shows and he was so funny, smart, witty, rapid fire quick...how could a woman not fall in love with that? (I see that you're a guy, but as a woman, do you know how many guys who are gorgeous and look like Paul Newman are humourless duds?). I will take smart and witty and funny any day. I'd rather spend the rest of my days laughing with Mel Brooks. Because brilliant comedy can be absolutely withering. (Springtime for Hitler) Not Laurel &Hardy slapstick humour that I detest. And I have to say my two exes, even though there were tears...were both hysterical. That's what I loved about them.
If Donald Trump couldn't take a joke by Obama at that White House dinner that's all you need to know.And although there is only one Andy Borowitz, I wish instead of the plethora of hand wringing doomsday articles about this regime, there would be more making fun of him.
And what other substack could have hundreds of hysterical posts making fun of "our" Quislings like Howard Butlick or Stephen Miller the vampire being repelled by crosses, garlic, capes, stakes in his heart and his coffin chained so he can't get out 😂 .I think if the rest of the world got that kind of humour for GIJoe Pete Hegseth 🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸or Bolshevik Barbie or the Puppy Killer, they wouldn't hold 1/4 of their power because people would see him as the buffoons they are. And don't even get me started on Elon lol.
He and Anne Bancroft were married for something like 50 years. People didn't know what an offbeat, zany sense of humor she had. The two of them apparently went together like peaches and cream. (Mel Brooks might have said 'Arsenic and Old Lace.)
They had a wonderful marriage and he was devastated to lose her. I know she directed that comedy movie "Fat" with Dom DeLuise but I usually think of her more dramatic roles myself, except for one. "The Prisoner of Second Avenue" by Neil Simon with her and Jack Lemmon. It takes place in my area in NYC. I never not think of the film when I pass "their" building. They filmed actual footage of my neighborhood that I don't recognize anymore because it's been so built up.
And yes, that sounds like something Mel would say. 😊
sigh. a little off-thread, but not WAY far off -- "brains and a sense of humor" have always been my top qualifications for guys. looks, meh. money, meh. but brains and a sense of humor -- yes!
👍
I still think Blazing Saddles was the funniest movie I’ve ever seen.
This is a wonderful illustration! I have always loved his humor, finding it smart and insightful.
Yes, I see that; but didn't Obama's mocking of Lumpy at the press awards dinner make him determined to run? Or is that just hoo-ha?
I think you can argue they didn't laugh hard enough.
Yes. James Carville said to Katie Couric when Kamala was running about Trump. ..MOCK HIM. MOCK. MOCK. MOCK. They can't bear being made fun of.
Spot on! This is their kryptonite, though they are far from supermen. The more, the better. Secure people can take a joke, these guys can't, which not only tells you something about their character but reveals their Achilles heel.
But I'm afraid humorists (yes, Andy, you're #1!) are too often preaching to the choir. We have to devise more ways open Republicans' eyes via jokes and ridicule that exposes who these folks are and what they are doing to our country.
I love this " this is their kryptonite" and "reveals their Achilles heel"👍 I learned as a kid to have a self-deprecating sense of humour. Better to laugh at yourself before someone else does.
I hate to use this term, but we really have become a society of snowflakes where everyone is so offended by everything. I'm 69. I grew up with Don Rickles and Joan Rivers and all the old comedians and Dean Martin's comedy roasts. Sammy Davis Jr. I mean, even Frank Sinatra (whose bad side I wouldn't want to be on) could take a joke about himself. Today they would be vilified. George Carlin. Dick Gregory. Richard Pryor. Lenny Bruce! Brilliant and controversial political comedians of their time. You know what they would arrest them for? Like Lenny Bruce? Aside from drugs... Profanity. Well, they should get a load of me on substack. They'd be hauling my ass off to jail. No one could take that kind of comedy today. No one seems to be able to make fun of themselves. Or admit their flaws. That's not good. So afraid of wounding someone with words but not with an AK-47 with a silencer! 😣
How true and how ironic.
I am a mainstream Protestant minister and a very respectable, sober, polite older woman. I recently posted a criticism of Trump which contained nothing but an appeal to people's hearts to oppose some of his administration's actions, which were contrary to Jesus' teachings. Result? Banned from Facebook, with a response saying that I was being kicked off due to postings inconsistent with their standards. I was given a chance to appeal that involved doing a video selfie at all angles. No thank you.
Yes, the minute Zuck handed over his $1 million deposit to Donny, was the minute I got off of FB.
To be "inconsistent" with "their standards" there would actually need to BE standards to be inconsistent with! (My apologies to my favorite English grammar teacher for this post which no doubt has her spinning in her grave)
If your teacher were one and the same as my grammar-heavy teacher, she might flinch briefly, but she'd hug you longly.
Thank you for such a happy thought!
Hey, Sassy Sue, we're in this together. We are friends. We ain't takin' no guff from no teacher.
Not bigly?
You know better than that, Al. "Bigly" would describe a hug from a sweaty, slobbering creature.
Thank you, Rev. Patricia. I almost never use Facebook, but decided that before I permanently delete my account, I'd try sharing your post. It's an experiment to see if I get banned. If the post lasts a few minutes, maybe others who are ready to be banned do the same thing.
Let us know!
Thanks, misia.d and Likers. So far, one like, one reply of seeing it, no banning and no deleting.
Very interesting, RJM. Which post did you share? The one I wrote on this page, or were you able to find my post on Facebook? I didn't think I appeared there any longer.
The post on this page. I didn't think to look for your FB page.
WOW. Worse than I thought.
That’s incredible and yet we know to believe it.
Censorship has reared its ugly head. So sorry!
Welcome to the club Reverend .☹️
I’m sorry
Having been turned away is a feather in your cap. Perhaps you've heard of this:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkB5hrxFAmw (half a minute)
If Hell does exist,
many a devil will laugh
to burn Trump's minions!
i have been saying for some time that ridiculing donny two dolls (there’s an example right there) is the best way to goad him. still believe that. thanks, andy (and mark).
Did you see Lawrence O'Donnell when he coined "Donny two dolls"? Priceless!
Definitely better than Trumpy Two-Pencils.
--or Trumpy Lumpy Humpty-Dumpty! Thin shell, thin skin.
i didn’t, but i’m so glad he did. i was getting tired of typing trxmp!
It was fun to watch. He was just being his usual self, very articulate and to the point.
Help, please? I don't get it.
L.R. it was when 47 was talking about that the tariff mean girls could only have two dolls for Christmas instead of 30, and 5 pencils instead of 250. Lawrence coined that term when he has doing a diatribe against 47. He thought it was good as a Mafia name, too.
I guess that I missed his comment about Christmas presents. See something cute, Susan? If you unintentionally omitted "ing" from "mean," you said that mean girls could have only two dolls. Trump would say that the mean ones can has as many as they please. For himself, no more than 5 pencils in a lifetime -- he can't write. Most of all, Mafia-appropriate.
Oops! Thank you for catching my error. I think I meant "meant" Personally I don't think donny 2-dolls would be any nicer or more generous to mean girls than any other girls. I'm now wondering how many pencils he's owned over his lifetime. Probably less than 5 once he got out of school.
Only owns sharpies.
Wouldn't he give lots of dolls to the awful, nasty mean ones he's appointed and hired for various government positions?
Let's come up with Mafia names for all of Trump's henchmen.
Donny "Two Dolls" Trump
Howard "Screwball" Lutnick
Kristi "Dead Dog" Noem
What else can people come up with?
"Maggot-Meat Miller"
exactly. donny two dolls can’t take a joke. in fact, i think the gentle ribbing he got from obama at the wh correspondents dinner might have prompted his run for president.
It's more than likely that you called this one correctly.
Oh yes. Laughing at troompf is a delightful way to goad him, but my favorite, because it also benefits my overall wellbeing, is to ignore him completely. If media outlets joined together (excluding the KKK Times, LGBTQFU Gazette, Make America Pasty White Again game show, and Hunger Games ripoff survival tv shows with migrant children, etc) and agreed to remove his, and any of his demon spawn’s names, photos, meme transactions and tacky golden toothbrushes from the news, it would piss him off so much that he might actually spontaneously combust and provide scientific proof that spontaneous combustion is, in fact, possible.
Don't we all wish that could really happen! Only drawback would be to miss laughing at Andy's columns.
The thoughts (?) of our widdle White House sociopath do not revolve around Putin, nuclear proliferation, global climate change, much less the economy, but around Rosie O'Donnell, Hannibal Lecter, Beyoncé, Oprah, Bruce Springsteen and Robert DeNiro, his sagging man-boobs, the spray-painted orange-formaldehyde face paste he wears, shoe lifts, tiny hands and a dead marmoset on his head.
If this isn't the stuff of musical comedy and an entire Greek Chorus, I don't know what would be.
I often wondered what that thing he wears on his head was. Thanks for the insight!
Well, he does have to check in with Putin every day, but Miller listens in and then the marmoset-wearer can go back to loving Hannibal and hating all the others. Oh, and having dreams about Alcatraz.
So much of the funniest (very dark humor) of his pronouncements are meant to distract us. Please let's not forget Signalgate, Kilmar, deporting children with cancer, ending the Judicial Branch's ability to issue contempt orders, killing the Constitution - separation of powers, habeas corpus, due process, bills of attainder ... Those things are more important than ... pebbles in the sand, for example.
You left out Taylor Swift!
Oh damn! And Joe Biden!
Has he forgotten Hunter Biden?
The name of the new musical, "Wicked" or even "Evil".
I was thinking "Wretched."
In the end, these guys will need to be afraid of Luigis.
Hate to say it, but the young people are pissed and I wouldn't be surprised to see more of that vigilantism.
The Guardian published an article this week about how United Healthcare works to discourage nursing homes from sending residents to hospitals in order to keep expenses low.
Why do you think Luigi was driven to do what he did?
I saw that item. Pretty hideous and not the first negative thing to come up since the killing. Sorry, but I can't recall what else.
There is so much anger about the way these companies operate based on their calculated decisions to deny care in order to MAKE MORE MONEY.
My husband keeps saying “ time for a Luigi”. There is unfortunately enough gun power in our nation for that to happen and with this horrible bill, the Repubs added that silencers are permitted.
Yeah, Republicans seem a bit clueless. They keep saying things like "the right to gun ownership is the last bulwark against tyranny" but refuse to consider the idea that they might be the tyrants.
They are but blind fools.
I remember all the "militia's" that sprang up during the Obama Presidency to protect us all from tyranny. Where are they now?
Would we really want them? Haven't they always been about protecting us from Obama and anyone else like him?
--or the targets!
I’m drawing a blank here. Please tell me what a Luigi is!
Luigi was the guy who allegedly assassinated the UHC executive in NYC.
Wow. Did not realize he’s a cultural icon now! Thanks
Oh, Lynn, indeed he is. People from all over the country have contributed to his legal funds. Many pieces have been written about his handsomeness and the way he's been or had been dressing to attend court dates and so on. He's a movie star. The whole thing is amazing.
He may be a one-man Sacco and Vanzetti of this century.
At an Olympia, Washington protest, one sign was an image of Luigi with a halo, made to look like saint card. 🫨
Why, he is Mario's brother, of course!
That's what I always thought until reading these replies…
My guess is that they already are.
Yes, but they know they have 1500+ J6'ers and all the people who wear ICE uniforms (or just black masks and clothes and don't show a government ID) who'll go Luigi on their enemies list whenever they're asked. Well, after they've all bought official brown shirts from the Family store for $1000 a pop, two for $1795.
Sooner or later, they're going to try to kidnap the wrong person. One or more who will go all 2nd Amendment on them.
An unmarked white suv pulled up near my building today and two women in black uniforms started casing the building next to mine. They saw me looking at them and I thought I’d better pull on the dog and hightail it away from there
Interesting. Any indication of who they were - badges, for example? Did you try surreptitiously to take their and the car's photo, in case they are some day listed as Jane Doe in a kidnapping (state crime - no presidential pardon) indictment? I wouldn't have had the presence of mind to do that myself the first time, but the next time, maybe.
I would rather not call attention to myself. And I’m one of those who interacts with their dog on their walks. So I don’t carry my phone with me. (Don’t get me started on people walking their dogs while yakking on their phones.)
I salute you for not carrying your phone when you walk the dog. The people on their phones as they wheel a baby stroller are comparably awful.
Don't see how Community Notes can attack laughter when laughter builds communities, like this Borowitz community.
So true! Thank you! A good moment to watch the film, Jojo Rabbit.
Another reason to love Mark Twain! Yes we know Trump can’t stand humor especially when we are all laughing at him. (I guess we’d be crying otherwise)
I think that possibly Andy Borowitz is the reincarnation of Mark Twain! Such great truthful humor!!
He better start working in some proper whisker
I have to stop using my itsy bitsy phone.
Yes!!
Zuck himself is a joke. I agree with Patti. Anti-social, humorless, and 2-dimensional, Zuck could only come up with a project to get friends who have no human connection. Great post, Andy.
We are in a science fiction movie right now. Skynet is waiting in the wings to pounce—just a few more data centers to add to the thousands that exist and humanity becomes the servant. It’s no wonder he has no sense of humor—he helped put us here! We can never let anything destroy humor—it is a gift from the universe! Thank you for your always bringing joy to our lives!
BLESS YOU! As one who has had mild posts critical of trumpism deleted as spam, I’m very grateful you speak openly about Facebook’s actions.
I walked away from Facebook the day after the election. It was already turning into a cesspool anyway.
There's one thing I can think of that would even be more effective. Cancel your Facebook account. Never had one and never will, so there's that too. See you on Bluesky @cognocis.bsky.social.
I killed my FB account back in 2019 - I had a terrible experience over a post, and thought how evil people can be (even ones I don't know). Life is too short for that crap! I prefer to live, laugh, love...than you Andy for being part of the solution 🤣
"Cancel your Facebook account. Never had one and never will." DITTO.
To me, "The Social Network" was about a nerdy asshole who stole his classmates' idea and got rich off it. I could never see why folks admired it. Also never signed up for Facebook (and have somehow managed to get through life anyway).
Same here.
Both of my millennial sons are in the tech world professionally. They have advised us for years not to use facebook. It is insidious.
But Greg, without my FB account, how will I ever know what the trolls are saying about me?
Hey, try Xwitter, I hear it's even more in the shitter these days.
It's getting really crazy. I like to go on it and read threads where I learn the current curses and put-downs.
I've thought about it, but I'd miss some support groups I belong to.
I canceled my account, probably back in 2018, because a) I was getting nothing positive out of having the account and b) because I realized the zuckerberg was not trustworthy. I never posted anything that would have gotten a bad reaction, but I still didn't (and still don't) trust him.
Anger is the republican motto. Have you ever seen trumpy laugh, his makeup would crack and he would crap in his diaper. leavett and rubio and the rest might seem almost human if scowling wasn't their only emotion. Pretty much the same for the rest of them. Musky did laugh some but he's on drugs. If they showed emotions we might think they are human. trumpy has smiled signing exec orders that hurt people though
You’re right - none of them smile or laugh! Can you imagine what a smiling Steven Miller would look like?? I shudder at the thought!
He laughed when Bill Mahr came to dinner, he’s still chuckling over Bill’s rave review. Bill was surprised by his charm, is he the first snake wrangler that Bill’s ever met? Does that fix everything?
T
Read Larry David OP/Ed NY Times My Inner with Hitler.
This made my day! Thank you Andy for helping us to keep on keeping on!