Let me say one positive thing about Elise: she went to Harvard. Then again, so did the Unabomber. You might think it’s unfair to compare Stefanik to the Unabomber, and it is—to the Unabomber. For all his flaws, he was way more ideologically consistent than Stefanik.
That is the lie of Ivy League. Harvard! HA! Along with her so many Epstein lovers at Harvard. They should be so proud to have admitted and graduated pedophiles, sex addicts, and complete liars. Good job Ivy...HA! I'll take someone who worked their ass off at a community college over these egotists any day!
In the spirit of Lampoon, Harvard grad John Lithgow penned " 'Trumpty Dumpty Wanted a Crown' [a tale] darker and more hard-hitting than ever. Lithgow writes and draws with wit and fury as he takes readers through another year of the shocking events involving Trump and his administration. His uproarious poems and illustrations encompass Trump's impeachment, the COVID-19 pandemic, the Black Lives Matter protests"
One can always point out Dershowitz for egotistical show boating. And helping a murderer beat the rap. Appears in this case the glove fit into Stefanik’s mouth.
"According to Reserve & National Guard Magazine, he chose Princeton over an offer from the United States Military Academy to play for the school's basketball team" 🏀
This working-class girl from Jersey whose only hand-me-downs were clothes, is proud to have graduated from a community college and Harvard (class of 2005). Andy and I are evidence that not all of us have gone off the deep end.
Nonetheless you forgot to include Elise's savage flights at three female university presidents at the beginning of all the campus woes, terminating in "restructuring" (scrambling, these years later, to survive funding cuts and other removals like visas for foreign scholars) at huge scale in two of those institutions.
Andy , Brilliant exposé of this truly awful and shouty woman! She can be cheerleader for the Mars colony of the Trump GOP ! They’d none of them be missed ! 😂And please , you stay firmly on earth to keep us laughing and be a credit to Harvard !😂😂💕
SNORTER! for the day: looking as flimsy as Mike Johnson’s chances of being Raptured...oh Mr. B, I am now saving you for last after reading all of the nasty news that makes me cry and long for the country I once knew. Best to launch the day with tears of laughter, thank you.
Once again, you have chosen an excellent photo to illustrate your subject’s true nature! Harvard has educated too many other embarrassments. As a Cornellian, I must suffer the shame of she-devil Ann Coulter being one of my fellow alumni.
Well, Andy, regarding the extinction event you were speaking of earlier in your Ode to Elise, I was thinking it might be a meteor that fell on the White House during a cabinet meeting. But after your question, "Who else would you like to colonize Mars"?, I changed my mind, instead a sink hole opening up under the White House (during a cabinet meeting) that led directly to the surface of Mars, would be well worth the sacrifice of what is left of the WH. They would have to make do with whatever was on hand. Hopefully there would be at least a bag of potatoes in the WH kitchen. Love to hear about a groveling Elise though, just wish more of the male quislings get their just desserts from the WH kitchen on Mars, of course. Thanks for giving me many chuckles this morning.
Let me first off remark how pleased I am to learn that this column has moved in a very erudite direction once more , with the celebration of my fav French Satirist Jean Paul Sartre. After reading NO EXIT in English in HS, and years later in French, I was hooked.
Well, not forgetting the lack of intelligent direction or exit by ES, the parallels of life following literature are simply mind boggling. Harvard’s literature courses must have offered a fine course in Existentialism and her stunning punim & stern expression easily would have assisted her sucking prowess throughout her impressive career advancements.
Instead of moving up the proverbial political food chain, the former Congresswoman can now gleefully be satisfied with moving slightly south to the arena of Elon’s power batsum and do her best to impress.
To quote an infamous movie star character: ‘THAT IS ALL’, as well as a real mouth full.
In fairness to Hegseth, his botched pull-up was the last of a series, so he was running out of steam by the time the picture was taken. In further fairness to Hegseth, only a moron (a category that extends to his co-puller-up Kennedy) would think that the ability to do pull-ups has any relevance to one's capacity to fill a public office.
Every time I read the latest antics by Trump’s various suck-ups and piss-bucket holders, it makes me feel like a slime mold just marched across my face.
Who says the rocket actually has to make it to Mars? Given how Starshit has managed to re-light an engine in space all of twice in about a half dozen tries, I think the chances of a missed course correction are pretty good.
First Mars Shuttle should include: Chief Justice Roberts, Clarence Thomas, Samuel alito, Brett Kavanaugh, Amy coney Barrett, the entire Trump Cabinet, JD vance, the staff and writers at Fox News because they'll need entertainment up there, let's see, there are more...Greg Abbott, Ron de Satan(oops, Santis) and now the first shuttle is full. The second will hold most of Congress...and then, wait, I'm compiling a list....
It doesn’t have to actually get to Mars. Running out of fuel and air once it’s left Earth is fully acceptable. As is falling into the sun (see the Simpsons).
What an awful person. She has nothing to offer other than her sucking up ability. It such a good resume for someone who had a little bit of promise until she fell out of the fuhrer’s favor.
I have more respect for MAGA true believers than for the quislings who know better but climbed aboard the Trump train out of opportunism: Stefanik, Lindsey Graham, etc
So agree. It’s the sycophants who should (and do) know better who deserve to get slammed. They are far more evil than the fuhrer himself, who could at least claim as excuse his unfathomable stupidity.
Imagine torching your credibility for someone who never saw you as anything more than disposable. That's the lesson. In TrumpWorld, loyalty only flows one direction. There's always another sycophant waiting in line.
Some time back, I made a list of several truly awful people who graduated from Harvard and Yale, but none of whom seemed particularly intelligent. One of them, if I recall correctly, was Ted Cruz. In any case, Stefanik is now also on that list.
Just looked it up. Ted’s undergraduate degree was from Princeton. Then he got his law degree from Harvard Law School. A double whammy for Ivy League schools.
And I thought yesterday's article couldn't be topped. Very funny and very accurate..
The list I have of who to send is too long. Suffice it to say, the entire cabinet with their families, the entire Trump family, the creators of project 2025, the Whitehouse staff, all of Maga supporters and the six SCOTUS JUSTICES and their families. I feel sorry for Mars if that ever happens, but happy for us
Wow that really was a perfect razing of ES! Unfortunately for her, she doesn't possess the only 2 assets that would've helped her get the interest & support of the slimeball-in-chief: she's a she & not even pageant material.
Let me say one positive thing about Elise: she went to Harvard. Then again, so did the Unabomber. You might think it’s unfair to compare Stefanik to the Unabomber, and it is—to the Unabomber. For all his flaws, he was way more ideologically consistent than Stefanik.
That is the lie of Ivy League. Harvard! HA! Along with her so many Epstein lovers at Harvard. They should be so proud to have admitted and graduated pedophiles, sex addicts, and complete liars. Good job Ivy...HA! I'll take someone who worked their ass off at a community college over these egotists any day!
I went to Harvard and I can validate everything you’ve said here.
To be fair, The Lampoon, a Harvard based institution was a worthwhile contribution to satire and silliness.
In the spirit of Lampoon, Harvard grad John Lithgow penned " 'Trumpty Dumpty Wanted a Crown' [a tale] darker and more hard-hitting than ever. Lithgow writes and draws with wit and fury as he takes readers through another year of the shocking events involving Trump and his administration. His uproarious poems and illustrations encompass Trump's impeachment, the COVID-19 pandemic, the Black Lives Matter protests"
Not to mention the Ignobel Awards.
I'm so sorry. Thankfully you came out with an un-bloated ego...
❤️ you’re in excellent form here today, Mr. Horowitz!
Me too.
Most current and past Harvard students are referred to as Swarthmore rejects. :-)
Except for my late cousin who would be 93 and went to Harvard law the same time as RBG. He was the last good atty they produced!
Yes, Andy. You went to Harvard. And as a Columbia man I shall not hold that against you.
Boola-boola.
Consider all of the people who somehow received a law degree from Yale who seemed to have avoided the course on the U.S. Constitution.
It’s a long list.
please don't forget dartmouth's luminaries...leon black, blahblah ingraham, dinesh d'souza, harmeet dillon, blake neff, jeffrey immelt, greg maffei, patrick byrne, elaine chao
Can we send Dartmouth in its entirety to Mars?
Are there sheep on Mars?
But the good news is, the dean of Yale law school now, a woman, has refused to capitulate to Trump’s demands
“Senator” Josh Hawley, for one … 😖
lol
The one that really gets me is Pete hegsgeth being a Princeton grad. WTF???
One can always point out Dershowitz for egotistical show boating. And helping a murderer beat the rap. Appears in this case the glove fit into Stefanik’s mouth.
WTF? They must've let him due to his supreme whiteness.
From his Wikipedia
"According to Reserve & National Guard Magazine, he chose Princeton over an offer from the United States Military Academy to play for the school's basketball team" 🏀
Hate to tell you, but the same is true of almost every college in the country if you go back far enough.
truth!
This working-class girl from Jersey whose only hand-me-downs were clothes, is proud to have graduated from a community college and Harvard (class of 2005). Andy and I are evidence that not all of us have gone off the deep end.
Bingo
Thank you Harvard for not accepting my daughter to your hollowed (yes I mean hollow) halls.....
Nonetheless you forgot to include Elise's savage flights at three female university presidents at the beginning of all the campus woes, terminating in "restructuring" (scrambling, these years later, to survive funding cuts and other removals like visas for foreign scholars) at huge scale in two of those institutions.
Elise Stefanik: queen of the mean girls
I can still hear her tutoring them in my head every time I see her.
Hectoring is the word that comes to mind !😉Elise at her most obnoxious!
Andy , Brilliant exposé of this truly awful and shouty woman! She can be cheerleader for the Mars colony of the Trump GOP ! They’d none of them be missed ! 😂And please , you stay firmly on earth to keep us laughing and be a credit to Harvard !😂😂💕
Personally I think Mars is a little close. I was thinking ice cold Europa or Pluto.
Uranus would be the most appropriate for these asses.
HA! I wish I had said that !
Didn’t you mean sh*tty woman?
SNORTER! for the day: looking as flimsy as Mike Johnson’s chances of being Raptured...oh Mr. B, I am now saving you for last after reading all of the nasty news that makes me cry and long for the country I once knew. Best to launch the day with tears of laughter, thank you.
Once again, you have chosen an excellent photo to illustrate your subject’s true nature! Harvard has educated too many other embarrassments. As a Cornellian, I must suffer the shame of she-devil Ann Coulter being one of my fellow alumni.
Elaine Chao is a fellow alum of mine. Ewww.
Stephen Miller, so the Martians can call him an illegal alien and lock him up in inhuman conditions.
Keep him in his crypt.
You can always tell a Harvard man, but you can't tell him much.
Just goes to show, you cannot just have the brains to be a decent human being.
Well, Andy, regarding the extinction event you were speaking of earlier in your Ode to Elise, I was thinking it might be a meteor that fell on the White House during a cabinet meeting. But after your question, "Who else would you like to colonize Mars"?, I changed my mind, instead a sink hole opening up under the White House (during a cabinet meeting) that led directly to the surface of Mars, would be well worth the sacrifice of what is left of the WH. They would have to make do with whatever was on hand. Hopefully there would be at least a bag of potatoes in the WH kitchen. Love to hear about a groveling Elise though, just wish more of the male quislings get their just desserts from the WH kitchen on Mars, of course. Thanks for giving me many chuckles this morning.
Let me first off remark how pleased I am to learn that this column has moved in a very erudite direction once more , with the celebration of my fav French Satirist Jean Paul Sartre. After reading NO EXIT in English in HS, and years later in French, I was hooked.
Well, not forgetting the lack of intelligent direction or exit by ES, the parallels of life following literature are simply mind boggling. Harvard’s literature courses must have offered a fine course in Existentialism and her stunning punim & stern expression easily would have assisted her sucking prowess throughout her impressive career advancements.
Instead of moving up the proverbial political food chain, the former Congresswoman can now gleefully be satisfied with moving slightly south to the arena of Elon’s power batsum and do her best to impress.
To quote an infamous movie star character: ‘THAT IS ALL’, as well as a real mouth full.
Hegseth, of course. Mars’s gravity is only 38% of Earth’s. The poor guy could finally do a pull-up there.
In fairness to Hegseth, his botched pull-up was the last of a series, so he was running out of steam by the time the picture was taken. In further fairness to Hegseth, only a moron (a category that extends to his co-puller-up Kennedy) would think that the ability to do pull-ups has any relevance to one's capacity to fill a public office.
Every time I read the latest antics by Trump’s various suck-ups and piss-bucket holders, it makes me feel like a slime mold just marched across my face.
Chlorox, chlorox, my kingdom for some chlorox….!
So many to choose from but Stephen Miller and his wife have got to go to Mars. Today would be nice
Especially if the rocket blows up.
Yes! Good idea
What do you have against Mars?
Who says the rocket actually has to make it to Mars? Given how Starshit has managed to re-light an engine in space all of twice in about a half dozen tries, I think the chances of a missed course correction are pretty good.
Make sure they take their kiddos along. They have several and I'm certain they're ones of Mum and Pops.
Clones, that is.
"the greasy pole of TrrumpWorld".
Some of your funniest (and accurate) writing.
First Mars Shuttle should include: Chief Justice Roberts, Clarence Thomas, Samuel alito, Brett Kavanaugh, Amy coney Barrett, the entire Trump Cabinet, JD vance, the staff and writers at Fox News because they'll need entertainment up there, let's see, there are more...Greg Abbott, Ron de Satan(oops, Santis) and now the first shuttle is full. The second will hold most of Congress...and then, wait, I'm compiling a list....
We’re gonna need a bigger rocket ship.
It doesn’t have to actually get to Mars. Running out of fuel and air once it’s left Earth is fully acceptable. As is falling into the sun (see the Simpsons).
Great list so far.
Send enough beer and you could get Kavanaugh to go….
Would he take Timmy & Squee with him?
What an awful person. She has nothing to offer other than her sucking up ability. It such a good resume for someone who had a little bit of promise until she fell out of the fuhrer’s favor.
I have more respect for MAGA true believers than for the quislings who know better but climbed aboard the Trump train out of opportunism: Stefanik, Lindsey Graham, etc
Completely agree with you.
Rubio!
So agree. It’s the sycophants who should (and do) know better who deserve to get slammed. They are far more evil than the fuhrer himself, who could at least claim as excuse his unfathomable stupidity.
Imagine torching your credibility for someone who never saw you as anything more than disposable. That's the lesson. In TrumpWorld, loyalty only flows one direction. There's always another sycophant waiting in line.
someone in another substack yesterday spelled that word 'psychophant' - which seems like a useful variant to be maintain in this context.
PERFECT! 👌🏻
Hopefully there will be room for the whole lot of them. It will be our version of the Australian penal colony…
With all the testosterone, they’d surely call it a penile colony.
I’m unable to write anything coherent!! I’m laughing too hard. Fantastic “exposé”!!
Thank you!
Yes, there were too many good lines & wonderful analogies.
Martians getting ready to revolt.
Oh please don't send these creatures back to earth.
There may be an ICE detention center up there.
Some time back, I made a list of several truly awful people who graduated from Harvard and Yale, but none of whom seemed particularly intelligent. One of them, if I recall correctly, was Ted Cruz. In any case, Stefanik is now also on that list.
I think Ted went to Princeton?
Just looked it up. Ted’s undergraduate degree was from Princeton. Then he got his law degree from Harvard Law School. A double whammy for Ivy League schools.
Ick
And Harvard Law School
Yes, class of '92.
And I thought yesterday's article couldn't be topped. Very funny and very accurate..
The list I have of who to send is too long. Suffice it to say, the entire cabinet with their families, the entire Trump family, the creators of project 2025, the Whitehouse staff, all of Maga supporters and the six SCOTUS JUSTICES and their families. I feel sorry for Mars if that ever happens, but happy for us
Agree, and join, Brenda!
Wow that really was a perfect razing of ES! Unfortunately for her, she doesn't possess the only 2 assets that would've helped her get the interest & support of the slimeball-in-chief: she's a she & not even pageant material.
An absolutely stellar roast!!
Yes, she should definitely be one of the first to go to Mars!