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Andy Borowitz's avatar

Happy Friday, everyone!!

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Steve Newman's avatar

Rarely happens but that Zelenskyy peace broker remark caused an unknown substance to discharge itself from deep inside my nose.

Somebody’s got to send those two assholes back to the children’s table for ever.

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BTAM Master's avatar

What a horrible fate for the children's table!

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Jonathan Aborn's avatar

The quiet chair.

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Meighan Corbett's avatar

Did you mean electric chair?

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kdsherpa's avatar

Yes. THAT chair.

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John Townsend's avatar

Those chair will either groan with the combined weight and/or the eternal sound

of squabbling will reach the grown-up tables. If those tables are filled with Republicans, those two will only be further enabled!

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Sandra Hardie's avatar

What grown-up table, John? The one that broke in 2016??

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KHKate's avatar

Yeah, like fourth-grade besties in a fight.

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Mary Roeser's avatar

Do not insult fourth graders. They are way more mature than those two egomaniacs put together.

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KHKate's avatar

I stand abashed, but I must tell you that I spent 10 years as a fourth-grade teacher, and I had to counsel this very thing many times. That's normal for a fourth-grader. But one middle-aged weirdo and one old fart?

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John Townsend's avatar

--or into a corner with Dennis The Menace!

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J Cheng's avatar

I just saw that Pope Leo has sold out a Chicago event being held on June 14 - he'll be participating remotely, however, I support Pope Leo in his strategic plan to counter the stupidly expensive, self-centered, unnecessary, useless military parade (or should I say charade?)

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EmTeeEm's avatar

TGIF! Our Commander in Cheat should be golfing all weekend, so the texting finger will be otherwise engaged (relocating his putz…).

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John Townsend's avatar

--and hitting an object the size of his brain!

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Annette's avatar

you're being very generous, John

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Alan's avatar
Jun 6Edited

Happy Friday Andy! Did Justa offer to help VZ resolve the feud?

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Kandy Brown's avatar

It is , indeed. I'm lovin' it!!!!

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Stephen Brady's avatar

The musical coda is spot on! I can’t imagine being in the same room with the Predator and the Space Nazi… reminds me of Florence King’s take on perverts - “I don’t understand perverts. In order to molest a child, you have to be in the same room with one.” Melon is going to explode and release the Epstein Files. Andy’s post afterwards will be epic!

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Elisabeth Birker's avatar

Happy Friday, Andy❣️ Thank you for the delicious giggles❣️

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