203 Comments
User's avatar
Andy Borowitz's avatar

Zelenskyy is what happens when you put a Jewish comedian in charge.

Empennage's avatar

Zing! And we're pretty sure Zelensky knows trump will pick a "Joker". 🃏

BTAM Master's avatar

My exact thought!

Katy's avatar

just going to post the exact comment!

Irna Gadd's avatar

And that’s why I propose you for president, Andy. I don’t know if you want the job but I’d certainly vote for you without a moment’s hesitation!

It's Come To This's avatar

Things so big they can actually be seen from space…

1. The Great Barrier Reef

2. The Great Wall of China

3. The Great Pyramids of Giza

4. The Great Titanium Balls of Volodymyr Zelenskyy…

Gjay15's avatar

The ego of trump and his band of arrogant idiots

Pradnya Sikand's avatar

I heartily second that Irna!❤️We need a President with intelligence, integrity and a great sense of humor! I think the brilliant Mr. Borowitz fits the bill!😉💕

Andy Borowitz's avatar

I prefer this gig

Rosemary Ehle's avatar

I think Michelle Obama feels the same way abut her life right now. She'd be so perfect but why put up with the hurt and aggravation aimed at her.

Robin D's avatar

I don't blame you. I prefer you here too!

Pradnya Sikand's avatar

Andy , I guess this is not the time to remind you (sonorously! 😉) Ask not what your country can do for you ….etc ! 😂

Annette's avatar

<standing ovation>

Al Keim's avatar

We need a sonograph of that.

C K Smith's avatar

But all of us desperately need you as our president! You have demonstrated time after time that you are genius. What a contrast that would be with the with our current situation!

Sandra Nicht's avatar

we would also accept Jon Stewart and/or Stephen Colbert...

C K Smith's avatar

Absolutely!

Annette's avatar

yes, we'd all sign on to be in your cabinet. We could have meetings via Zoom!

Al Keim's avatar

And tell you how great you are :-)

Beth B's avatar

Please keep it 🤗

Pradnya Sikand's avatar

Well, we tried ! 😂💕

Annette's avatar

(let's keep trying!!)

Rita Z Asch's avatar

Andy, you are my morning savior!!!!

Michael Moorin's avatar

I think the original model for a Jewish President was Rufus T. Firefly, and we are definitely in Duck Soup.

Pradnya Sikand's avatar

Is Freedonia offering visas to Trump weary citizens ? 😂

Michael L Flynn's avatar

Rufus T. Firefly was a much stronger leader than Dopey Don; and his cabinet, which consisted of Chicolini and Pinky, was much more qualified. And most importantly, Freedonia defeated Sylvania in their war.

"Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the brave and free!"

It's Come To This's avatar

The cost of this Iran debacle is an outrage! If I were you, I wouldn’t pay it! ❤️

Sean M Carlin's avatar

Imagine what Mel Brooks could have accomplished?

Robin D's avatar

He's still here!🙏

Bill Morgan's avatar

Not sure what you mean Andy. Trump is the clown Zelenskyy is trying to lead his country

Al Keim's avatar

Take my country, please!

Margo Howard's avatar

How bad could it be?

Rose Edgar's avatar

You make my day every day! At least I can get through the day with humor instead of dread. Thank you for your humor.

Cindy Heslin's avatar

“And don’t forget to say thank you.”

Jan Fabiyi's avatar

Aargh! I was just going to write the same thing.

Kate Delano-Condax Decker's avatar

Join in! We can applaud together! :-) !!

Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

Good one, Cindy🤣🤣🤣🤣

Annette's avatar

<snort laugh>

Larry Caringer's avatar

Trump had “all the cards” when he owned casinos. How’d that work out?

Andy Borowitz's avatar

His creditors have all his cards now.

Erik Bruun's avatar

Having cards and knowing how to play cards are two different things.

Trump has(d) plenty of cards. Zelensky has(d) very few.

Two big difference. One is Trump plays for personal greed. Zelensky plays for his nation's survival.

Two is Trump is a demented, spoiled criminal. Zelensky is not.

Punkette's avatar

Right on, Andy. All those scary Russian oligarchs who bailed him out years ago. They own his miserable arse for life.

Dr. Richard's avatar

And Trump Air, Trump U., Trump Meats - all scams and crook magnets. An ignorant con man and convicted felon as president (small p) of our country! Shame on us!

Donna S Swarr's avatar

No, I do not accept any shame. I didn't vote for him, protest against him in a multitude of ways. It is those MAGAs that deserve the shame, especially those who proclaim to be Christians. Sickening. I am not a religious person, but those who profess they are following the teachings of Jesus disgust me.

Dr. Richard's avatar

Trump and his cadre of crooks and idiots has made us ALL UGLY AMERICANS once again, voluntary or otherwise. We bear the name "American" and must regain legitimacy by eliminating the Village Idiot and MAGA. Yes, you and I reject them as domestic terrorists and traitors because they are. This is not Trump's country or a Christian Nationalist Theocracy - it's OUR nation of diversity, currently without anyone at the helm.

Roland Saeger's avatar

I no longer consider myself to be a Catholic for the reasons you listed, Donna. And no, I don't accept any shame either. I've known Trump was bad news since the early 1990s.

Robot Bender's avatar

I first heard of him when I was in the airline industry and heard about Trump Air. I knew it was doomed as soon as I heard about his plans for it. He took the closest thing to printing money in the airlines and flew it right into the ground.

Roland Saeger's avatar

I live 45 minutes away from Atlantic City. I knew about his casino antics. I also remember his printed comments about the Central Park Five, and remember hearing him on Howard Stern professing his "love" for his then tween daughter Ivanka.

Harvey Perry's avatar

They never read “the teachings of Jesus”.

Steve Newman's avatar

Soul selling insensitive racist ignorant disciples.

Jody Magee's avatar

Ooh! Yeah, but surely the golden phone is real. I ordered several and just know they’ll be on my doorstep any moment! I’ll call you, Andy!

Steve Newman's avatar

Make America Grovel Again

Brenda Reiss's avatar

Don't forget Trump phones

Steve Newman's avatar

Until he busted..

I never understood how he was able to take billions in losses when it was basically other people’s money. He should be audited. Ohhhhh wait……

Dr. Richard's avatar

He used other people's money WITH HIS USUAL LEGAL CAVEAT that HE would be able to take the losses as tax credits. The fraud lives on NDAs (like the ones he wants every US employee to sign), legal intimidation and scam documents/agreements that he has his fixers like Cohn and Cohn draft - relying on the ignorance and greed of his suckers. The "investors" in the casinos lost a fortune and were too embarrassed to admit it, having been taken by the ultimate con man. Like the MAGA MAGATS that have been screwed by Trump, they COULD have sued him for billions but did not - cowards and fools like the rest of the cult.

Steve Newman's avatar

If you say so Doc Rich, I was unaware you could pass a loss, one asshole to another but as we know tax laws written by the rich for the rich. Even Deutsche Bank bent a knee & let debt slide.

Dr. Richard's avatar

Trump was trained by Roy Cohn, Joe McCarthy's and his crooked father's fixed and disbarred lawyer. Virtually anything can be done with a "legal" document when you know how to skirt the law - which is what Trump and his family have always done. He wants all the gains and none of the risks/liabilities - why he "delegates" his treason to others like Hegturd, Kennedy, Bondi, Patel et al, claims "I know nothing about it" and movies onto the next crime while his cult laughes and watches democracy die.

The word "CROOKED" doesn't even come close!

It's Come To This's avatar

Since that original comment and photo, President Non Compos Mentis has continued to deteriorate further. He thinks he’s playing mumblety-peg.

Andy's Travails's avatar

Are you saying Trump isn't playing with a full deck?

Irna Gadd's avatar

Ya think??? 😉😉😉😉

Kate Delano-Condax Decker's avatar

Very funny comment!! :-) !!

Steve Newman's avatar

Yeah & he’s a quart or two low.

Annette's avatar

he's playing with Monopoly pieces

Thomas Taylor's avatar

We already have cards - all the Jokers and one King (or so he says).

Katy Forcillo's avatar

“Pick a card- any card. “. Brilliant. I was feeling especially depressed this morning listening to the news and then I see your post. Thank goodness for YOU!!!!!!

Andy Borowitz's avatar

That makes me happy!

Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

Pick a card and Metamucilini picked the joker!! Loved this!

Lee Knapp's avatar

Took the joke right out of my keyboard! And Zelensky draws the ace.

Cindy Heslin's avatar

I love this one, Andy! I’m still giggling!

Lee Knapp's avatar

Zelensky for President...of US!

When I taught school, we talked about how the colonists could have EVER beaten the mighty Brits. The big reason was they were defending their homeland that they loved. Same for Ukraine. We'll need to fight in another way for our homeland this fall!

Steve Newman's avatar

November blood bath… Get out and vote, it’s all we got.

Shannon Kincaid's avatar

I would love it if the one card Zelenskyy gave him was the victim card. 🃏

bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

Or thr very special horse's ass card

Patty Farrington's avatar

The trouble with Don the Petulant Con is that he would never be satisfied with one card, and of course he's not playing with a full set of cards unless it's 52 pick-up.

Mike Gelt's avatar

Zelensky keeps telling Trump he doesn’t have the cards while Ukraine has spent years fighting off a larger invasion force… meanwhile Trump acts like standing up to Canada over maple syrup tariffs is the battle of Gettysburg.

Jan Fabiyi's avatar

For which he deserves a Purple Heart.

Chris Edwards's avatar

He got purple hands instead.

Candy C's avatar
2hEdited

Ok, comparing maple syrup to Gettysburg is clever and made me laugh. (I’m glad I live in VT - no tariffs on maple syrup here! 😉)

Diana's avatar

Don't say that too loudly!

Candy C's avatar

VT would never hand over their maple syrup!! 😂

Steve Newman's avatar

Still difficult to believe Canada & Mexico don’t trust us anymore. Ohhh wait, it’s basically the rest of the world now except for maybe prison boy in Central America and a couple of other authoritarian douche’s.

Stephen Wunderlich's avatar

👍😊🤣👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Lorenzo's avatar

The best gift for someone who never was playing with a full deck.

Dr. Richard's avatar

A truly great leader vs. a blithering idiot. How ashamed we should be, but MAGA DID THAT!

Brenda Reiss's avatar

And MAGA keeps doing it. Paxton indeed

Dr. Richard's avatar

A good thing about Paxton. Best chance for defeat and gaining another sane Senator. The dolt is a crook, like his boss. Neither is competent to be a member of the Upper Chamber.

Helen KS Johnson's avatar

Brilliant (as always)! Thanks for the laugh this morning! 😂